Can you forgive?
Chang Suining lowered his eyes and looked at the woman whose eyes were full of pleading and hoping for a glimmer of redemption.
She believed that Yuxie was sincere, guilty, and even a little pitiful at this moment.
But she shook her head.
"cannot."
Her voice was very soft, but it made Yuxie's hands, which were grabbing the corner of her clothes, subconsciously stop shaking and begging.
"I can die. Everyone must die, but the world is unfair. The sword should be in my own hands. It is not your turn to decide how I die."
Amid the sound of rain, the voice remained calm.
"Anyone who attempts to interfere with my life or death, no matter what the reason, will not be forgiven by me."
Yuxie's expression trembled, and for a moment his face looked as pale as death, as if he had received the calmest yet most terrifying judgment in his life.
She didn't know whether His Highness had pulled back the edge of his clothes or she herself was too weak to hold on to it.
Her hands slid down to her sides.
Chang Suining stepped over the threshold.
She is just an ordinary person who cherishes her life. If someone wants to kill her and she can forgive him, then she really does not deserve the chance to live again.
How her life is used is up to her.
Even though there were many things she could not help in her previous life, in the final analysis, all the choices and decisions were her own intentions, and in the end, it was she herself who drew the sword against her.
She was unwilling to die like that, but she had no regrets.
She repaid the man's kindness in giving birth to her, and at the same time fulfilled her own inner voice - she had no regrets about sacrificing for the land beneath her feet.
She endured humiliation and married the Northern Di people when the country was most unstable, which bought Da Sheng a chance to recuperate for three years, and then had the strength to fight. This brought more than ten years of peace in the north. It was worth it for her to exchange her life for these.
And if he was really poisoned by Yuxie's tea, such a cowardly death would make his soul restless and he would turn into a ghost and crawl out of the coffin to kill people with a knife.
"Yes... How dare I ask for forgiveness, Your Highness?" Yu Xie slumped down where she was, a very sad smile on her tearful face: "I should have died a long time ago to apologize for my sins, instead of living in humiliation until now..."
She really regretted it.
As early as when she saw the people His Highness had arranged to rescue them, she had already regretted it to the point of total despair.
Everyone wants to survive, but it depends on what they offer in exchange. If the thing they offer in exchange for life is too large and heavy, then this tiny life will lose its meaning and will become an irreparable sin.
She's not dead yet because she's crazy.
Everything at this moment, although temporary, is extremely clear.
She shouldn't have asked His Highness whether he could forgive her. Asking that question was also a sin.
"I shouldn't ask for forgiveness from Your Highness anymore... I am able to see Your Highness again today and to speak out all this. This is a blessing and a relief for me."
"I will serve Your Highness after I have cleansed myself of all my sins..."
She closed her eyes, then sat up, rushed towards the piano table, and tried to hit it with her head.
“Bang!”
Chang Suining kicked one of the sticks that were piled up next to the door of the wooden house for chopping firewood. The stick flew towards the jade chips with a sound of wind and hit her in the bend of her knee.
Yu Xie fell to the ground, and said in a dazed voice: "Your Highness, why did you save me..."
"This matter is not over yet, you may still be useful, so just live like this for now."
Chang Suining said nothing, picked up the umbrella at his feet, opened it and walked into the rain.
In the dark wooden house, Yuxie lay on the ground, crying.
As the pot of incense in the corner of the wooden house gradually burned out, she slowly lost consciousness and fell there.
This incense is a medicine. After inhaling it, people will gradually fall into a coma and forget some things after waking up. Even if they have memories, they are scattered and unclear. The medicine was given by Shen Sanmao, and it is said that it was also one of his means of cheating in the past.
But since this medicine was hard to find and expensive in the West Market, he was only willing to use it to do some big business that was sure to make money... such as entertaining wealthy and stupid guests like Chang Sui'an.
Chang Suining had taken something that could neutralize the fragrance in advance, and with the veil blocking her view, when she walked into the rain and the wind blew, the slight feeling of drowsiness disappeared.
She held an umbrella but did not walk out of the bamboo forest. Instead, she sat down in a pavilion in the forest.
“It’s Yu Zeng!”
Yuxie’s reply seemed to still be ringing in my ears.
Chang Suining held the folded wet umbrella in his hand.
When she saw A Zeng again, she had become Chang Suining, and A Zeng had become Yu Changshi, the chief steward of the Sigongtai. Although she was a little surprised about this, she never felt that there was anything wrong with it. On the contrary, she was happy for A Zeng.
The old people of the past were safe and glorious. She can rest in peace as a ghost, and she is happy to see them as a human.
As for the fact that A Zeng was now working for the Queen, she also felt that there was nothing wrong with it. A Zeng was a eunuch with limited options, and facing the new emperor's promotion and reuse, he had no room for refusal, nor was there any need to refuse.
Although she was occasionally a little arrogant, she was not so selfish as to think that her former subordinates should stand there motionless just for a dead person like her. It was like being a widow and being buried alive, decadent, sad, and unrealistic.
Besides, A Zeng and the others were not aware of the rift between her and the Queen. The matter between mother and daughter was not worth telling others. In their eyes, that was the mother whom she had protected.
Therefore, it is not wrong at all that A Zeng now has a new master.
But if it was true that he was the one who poisoned Yu Xie, and if he already had a new master at that time and betrayed her, then it would be unforgivable.
Chang Suining looked at the raindrops falling like threads outside the pavilion.
Back then, the act of sacrificing jade was to save his life, so what was Ah Zeng's purpose? If he really had a new master, who would that new master be?
In other words, is the one he is loyal to now really the Queen? And all this is only worth investigating if it is indeed him who did it.
There may not be anything strange about that letter.
The other party wanted to persuade Yu Xie, but he should also consider the mistakes that may occur in human nature. Yu Xie is not a natural traitor. He may betray her because of a momentary thought. He may also choose to present the letter to her in a momentary thought. If so, the other party's intentions and identities will be completely exposed -
Even if the latter possibility is smaller, would the person who did it really not think of this possibility?
She was not someone who blindly trusted her old subordinates, but she also could not sink into the anger and shame of being betrayed and lose her mind.
There are limited clues now, and we only rely on Yuxie's words. If we want to confirm it, we need more evidence.
She had secretly inquired before this and found out that all the officials who had accompanied her to Beidi, including the eunuch Wu Xi and others, were no longer alive.
Yuxie is the only one still alive.
But at the moment, she obviously did not have the conditions to question Yu Zeng face to face. If she was not careful, she might die a second time soon.
For the time being, we can only verify the facts slowly.
She is still far from having the strength to confront all of this head-on.
Chang Suining stood up holding an umbrella.
But she will do it.
Just as Cui Jing said, she couldn't pick up Zhan Xiu for the time being, but she could try to get something else first.
This process is the only way to accumulate strength.
This time, she will always remind herself to walk more steadily.
The girl raised her hand to take off her veil. She was wearing a white dress covered with rain and mist. She walked out of the bamboo forest alone with an umbrella.
…
The next day, Chang Suining instructed Chang Ren to transfer a useful person to the farm, who would supervise the farm affairs for her in public and be responsible for guarding the jade chips in secret.
Chang Ren responded.
…
In the afternoon, Chang Suining returned to Xingningfang.
The next day the weather was fine, so I went to the Imperial College.
This time was different from the previous return to the Imperial College. With the development of the incident of Deng Tai Tower, almost everyone in the Imperial College knew Chang Suining.
However, since Chang Suining usually only studied and fished at Qiao Jijiu's residence, the students had no chance to see the legendary Madam Chang.
Recently, Qiao Yubai discovered that more and more classmates came to visit him, including many who had come yesterday and came again today. They said they were visiting him, but the first sentence in ten was about his injury, and the remaining nine were all about asking him about Ningning.
Some of the most shameless ones even came for ten days in a row, sitting for a long time each time, and it was almost as if they had carved the words "I am also sitting here waiting to meet Madam Chang today" on their faces.
On the eleventh day, Qiao Yubai returned to the library to continue his studies.
Many classmates gathered around him - "Hey, Yubai, why did you come back so soon? Why don't you rest for a while longer?"
"..." Qiao Yubai always felt that the sound of "eh" would be more appropriate if it was changed to "ah".
After returning to the academy, the number of people surrounding him every day increased.
Qiao Yubai did not resist this and even enjoyed it.
After all, she is his sister, a blessing that no one else can even imagine.
Who would think that their sister is too good? Cui Lang has also been asking about things related to Chang Suining recently, but he focuses on Chang Suining's preferences. Although he already has a standard answer in his mind, it is not easy for him to cater to Chang Suining's preferences since she likes to beat people.
After asking Qiao Yubai for some useless information, Cui Lang returned home on leave and heard that his eldest brother had come back to visit his grandfather. He grabbed a handful of dog's head passing by, hurriedly recited a mysterious spell "Help me in an emergency, lend me your courage", and ran to find his eldest brother.
The big yellow dog with its head messed up stood there, staring blankly at the young man in pink who was walking away quickly.
When Cui Lang arrived outside his grandfather's study, he saw his eldest brother standing in the corridor talking to his sister Cui Tang.
Cui Lang was stunned, but he also relaxed a little. He stepped forward and bowed to his elder brother seriously. To ease the tension, he made small talk: "Atang, why are you here too?"
"My mother asked for a lucky charm at the temple yesterday, and I sent it to my eldest brother."
“???” Cui Lang felt aggrieved and hesitated to speak.
He usually takes on adventures, but when it comes to giving gifts, it's Atang's turn! He's eating alone, right? Even if he's brought along!
Thinking of the days when he had worked like a slave for his mother, Cui Lang felt aggrieved for himself - mother knew that her son's life was also a life.
"Brother, please accept it..." Cui Tang handed over the amulet, with a rare sense of nervousness in his voice.
Since she and Cui Lang could remember, they had seldom seen their elder brother. After his joining the army, it became even more difficult to see him, not to mention having a close relationship with him.
The eldest brother has a cold personality and has a huge rift with my father. In my mother's words, my father's mischief caused the three of them to suffer as a result, which was a real sin.
After the mother discovered that the second brother got drunk in Dengtai Tower and hugged the eldest brother's thigh in public, and that the eldest brother did not kick the second brother away, she became bolder and took the bold step of giving the amulet to the mother today.
But it is hard to say whether the eldest brother will accept it or not.
Knowing full well the source of his mother's confidence in giving the amulet to her, Cui Lang became more and more indignant. This was half of the empire he had built for his mother, but his mother was ungrateful.
But...will my eldest brother answer it?
Cui Lang quietly paid attention to his elder brother's hand hanging by his side.
The eldest brother's hands are big and beautiful, unlike the white and weak hands of many of Cui's children who use them to write, and they make people feel more reliable.
After a moment, the big hand reached out and took the amulet under the mottled afternoon sunlight.
"Thank you." Cui Jing said.
Cui Tang and Cui Lang were both overjoyed. Although they tried their best to suppress it, their joy still overflowed from their eyes and mouths.
Cui Lang shed tears of relief in his heart, looking up to the sky, the half of the kingdom he had fought for with his life was indeed solid!
Because Cui Jing accepted the amulet, the atmosphere around them became much more relaxed.
Cui Lang also had the courage to ask: "...Brother is more familiar with Madam Chang, do you know what Madam Chang likes?"
Cui Jing looked at him and asked instead of answering, "Why do you want to know what a girl likes?"
Cui Lang felt inexplicably uneasy and lowered his voice: "Brother, I want to take Madam Chang as my teacher and learn how to play polo from her."
After saying that, he raised his eyelids and secretly looked at his elder brother. This shouldn't be an unforgivable thought, right? Cui Jing said "Oh".
Cui Lang asked cautiously: "Brother, do you think it's inappropriate?"
Cui Jing: “Not really.”
Cui Lang smiled: "Then..."
Cui Jing looked at him and said, "You asked about her preferences in preparation for the apprenticeship gift?"
Cui Lang nodded rapidly.
Cui Jing thought about it and wanted to say "she likes to eat chestnuts", but when it came to his lips, he didn't say it for some reason. It felt a bit like he didn't want to share some secrets with others, but... what kind of secret is worth keeping private? This feeling was a bit inexplicable, and Cui Jing quickly attributed it to "it's not appropriate to talk about a girl's personal preferences with his younger brother at home" -
He then thought about it seriously, and finally said, "If you want to learn from the Chang family, you might as well follow the custom."
Convention?
"What is the convention that elder brother is talking about?"
On the way back, Cui Lang asked Cui Tang.
As for why he didn't ask directly in front of his elder brother just now - his elder brother had already told him the answer, if he still didn't understand, wouldn't it seem that he was not very smart?
"This should be the custom when my eldest brother wanted to become General Chang's apprentice." Cui Tang said.
Cui Lang felt a chill on his scalp when he heard this.
The way the elder brother wanted to become a disciple was to get beaten up! He didn't have the courage to sacrifice half his life as a gift for becoming a disciple! Cui Lang shook his head repeatedly and laughed dryly, "Thinking about it carefully, I don't really want to learn this game..."
"No, brother wants to learn." Cui Tang looked at his second brother with a smile: "I think mother will agree with you, brother."
The mother wanted to take them to join her eldest brother's cause. One of the plans, called the shortcut, was to get as close to Madam Chang as possible and make friends with her.
Sure enough, when Mrs. Lu learned about this that day, she used both hard and soft tactics to persuade her son.
The next day, before Cui Lang went out, he borrowed courage from his dog. As soon as he returned to the Imperial College, he went to find Chang Suining and mustered up the courage to explain his desire to become his disciple.
But Mrs. Chang’s reaction really surprised him.
Cui Lang: My son’s life is also his life (this sentence was inspired by a comment from a lovely book friend above, hahahahaha)
I wish you all a happy Women's Day. May you be free, independent, happy, comfortable and fulfilled.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
