Chapter 440 A lover was born on a rebellious bone
While talking, Wei Shuyi raised the white jade wine pot in his hand and invited: "I have a pot of good wine here, which I have hidden privately."
Cui Jing did not refuse.
Even though he wanted to avoid the crowd and talk alone, Wei Shuyi was still very particular. He found a deserted place and asked Changji to put out a small table and two cushions, and to fetch a white jade wine cup of the same color as the wine pot in his hand.
"There is no wind tonight, so it's a perfect time to sit and admire the moon." Wei Shuyi was the first to sit cross-legged, looking at the bright moon on the side of the mountain not far away with a smile.
Cui Jing sat with his back to the moon, not crossing his legs, but with one knee bent, in a casual manner: "This table is placed so that you can enjoy the moon alone. This is how you should treat guests."
Wei Shuyi retorted: "That's wrong. I am the guest. You have seen the moon in Youzhou many times. I am new to your land. Why not let me enjoy it alone for a while?"
As Wei Shuyi said this, he looked away and saw the man in front of him under the moonlight. His smile faded a little: "But with the face of General Cui here, I don't think I have time to enjoy the moonlight."
He said without disguising, "It actually looked better on the day of the triumphant return. If I had known this, I wouldn't have reminded you so much that day."
Cui Jing did not hide his waning patience: "If you don't get down to business, I'm afraid I won't be able to sit here until you open your mouth."
He had no interest in watching Wei Shuyi show off his talent for secret conversation. He guessed the purpose of Wei Shuyi's invitation, so he agreed to talk to him alone, which was uncharacteristic of him.
"Don't be in a hurry. I have already monopolized the moon. I have to at least pour you a glass of wine, otherwise it would be too rude." Wei Shuyi said with a smile. He picked up the wine pot with one hand and covered his sleeve with the other hand, pouring wine into the wine cup. His manners were elegant and pleasing to the eye.
When he pushed one of the lamps towards Cui Jing, Wei Shuyi asked, "Cui Ling'an, are you not afraid at all?"
The question was asked suddenly, straight to the point, without any preparation or indirect probing.
But Cui Jing believed that this was also another kind of temptation, a more cunning one.
Cui Jing did not evade the question or pretend not to understand, but asked calmly: "Why should I be afraid?"
Wei Shuyi laughed in his heart. This was actually a test of how much he knew - Cui Lingan was willing to come here, actually to test him.
Wei Shuyi did not answer for the time being, but drank a glass of wine first, as if only then did he have the courage to say: "It had already disappeared from this world, but it died and was reborn... This is called a strange thing."
In the dead of night, avoiding the crowd, talking about such a topic... The person sitting opposite was Cui Ling'an. With his rebellious and evil aura, he was probably a tough guy that no evil dared to attack.
Wei Shuyi encouraged himself in this way, and asked calmly, "Are you really not afraid of ghosts coming back to life?"
Cui Jing looked at him for a moment and said in a corrective tone: "In my opinion, she is not a ghost."
A half-hearted smile flashed across Wei Shuyi's face: "...What is that? A reincarnated general? Or an immortal or god?"
Cui Jing: "She is just her."
After Wei Shuyi looked into those cold star-like eyes for a moment, he finally smiled slightly: "Cui Ling'an, you don't even want to say sorry to me this time."
Two years ago, in Dayun Temple, he asked about this matter, and Cui Lingan said to him in an uncharacteristic way: "Sorry, I can't talk about this matter."
At this time, Cui Lingan said to him: "You already have the answer, why should I deny it again."
"That's right. With your personality, if you just wanted to deny it, you wouldn't have agreed to drink with me." Wei Shuyi poured himself another cup, and there seemed to be a hint of sigh in his voice: "Cui Ling'an, I know it too late."
It was hard to tell whether the sigh that was blown away by the wind was regret or something else.
If he had known it earlier, he might not have trapped himself... But when is early? No matter how early it is, it seems that it can't be earlier than the early spring two years ago, right?
Everything seemed to have started from then on.
Wei Shuyi picked up the wine cup and showed it to Cui Jing.
Cui Jing then picked it up as well and drank it all.
When Wei Shuyi put down the empty wine cup, he said, "We won't talk about those well-known sentiments. But there are a few questions I have wanted to ask you for a long time——"
"Do I have to answer you?"
"Of course." Wei Shuyi raised his hand and pointed to the wine cup in Cui Jing's hand: "You drank my wine, it can't be for nothing, right?"
"..." Cui Jing lowered his eyes and took a look, then said, "In the future, I will set up a family motto that you should not drink other people's wine easily, especially wine from people with the surname Wei."
"Good." Wei Shuyi nodded with a smile: "But now the debt has been owed, I have no choice but to answer it."
He asked himself, "When Furong proposed to marry you at the banquet, you already knew her secret, right?"
Cui Jing answered frankly, "I have noticed something."
Wei Shuyi asked in a different way, his expression slightly complicated: "...After you knew that 'she' was the former Crown Prince, you still had feelings for her, so you didn't find it...hard to accept?"
There is no need to ask why he is so sure that Cui Ling'an "still has love for him", after all, it is obvious to all.
Cui Jing was still frank: "Some."
He once found it difficult to accept his own presumptuous intentions.
Seeing Cui Jing's calm face, Wei Shuyi became more serious: "Then how did you overcome it?"
"No need to overcome." Cui Jing remained calm: "There is no conflict."
He looked up to her and admired her, and the two could coexist.
"..." Wei Shuyi's eyes showed a trace of admiration - even "no need to overcome", Cui Lingan's orientation, is it so "easy-going"? After digesting it for a long time, Wei Shuyi asked again in a complicated tone: "Then, what about 'her'? 'She' can also accept your admiration for 'her'?"
After all… this is never a one-sided issue, but a two-way issue.
Can she accept that a man admires her?
Cui Jing glanced at Wei Shuyi, who looked a little strange, and said, "I don't know."
He wasn't sure what she was thinking, and he wouldn't make assumptions about her or answer any questions on her behalf.
Wei Shuyi fell silent, feeling extremely complicated.
He originally thought that Cui Ling'an might be the only one who could empathize with him in such an incredible mental journey, but now it seems that the other party's "open-mindedness" is far beyond his imagination - Cui Ling'an does not feel any pressure at all about falling in love with the man's soul.
However, even if it was just out of curiosity, he still wanted to ask——
"So now..." Wei Shuyi asked with some difficulty: "Do you regard 'her' as a woman, or a man? Or... a hermaphrodite?"
He looked at Cui Ling'an as if he were looking at a mirror, trying to find a way out for himself from this mirror.
But the mirror's reaction was unusually silent.
“…” Cui Jing stared at Wei Shuyi quietly for a long time, and a question slowly emerged in his mind - is this the smart man he never denied?
Cui Jing began to question his own judgment.
He also questioned the mother-son relationship between Mrs. Duan and Wei Shuyi.
Seeing that Cui Jing didn't answer for a long time, Wei Shuyi tried to ask: "...Why, can't you tell the difference?"
After a while, Cui Jing said, "...I have nothing to say."
Mrs. Duan had never told her son about his relationship with Wei Shuyi, as she thought it would be impossible for him to get past Mrs. Duan.
Furthermore, Mrs. Duan would rather see her own son struggle than tell him/her, perhaps there is some unspeakable secret - as an outsider, she should not meddle in other people's business.
He originally intended to only answer questions based on the inside information Wei Shuyi already knew. He did not intend to reveal anything that Wei Shuyi did not know on his own initiative on behalf of Chang Suining.
This was consistent with Cui Jing's usual style, so his expression became more calm and peaceful.
Wei Shuyi's expression became increasingly indescribable.
No comment...
So, it's about some weird, private personal orientation, right?
Indeed, it was a difficult question to answer, and he admitted that he had been presumptuous.
For a moment, the air was filled with a tense atmosphere and both of them were silent.
After a long while, Wei Shuyi finally spoke, "I guess you don't care about these things at all."
“Cui Ling’an, I am far inferior to you in this regard.” Wei Shuyi poured himself a drink and sighed, “Not only this, but you are like this in everything you do. Once you make up your mind, you dare to abandon all distractions, regardless of gains and losses, and regardless of the consequences of the road ahead…”
Maybe it was the right atmosphere, or maybe it was the alcohol that prompted him, but Wei Shuyi rarely spoke out a truth that had been buried in his heart for a long time: "Actually, I have always envied you."
"I not only envy your fearlessness, but also the fact that you know exactly what you want." Wei Shuyi said, "You have a light in your heart, but I don't."
He was regarded as a child prodigy since he was young, and every step he took thereafter was very steady and easy on the predetermined path, taking the imperial examinations, becoming an official...what others longed for was easily within his reach, and perhaps it was precisely because of this that even though he had obtained all of this, he had never experienced true joy.
Cui Ling'an joined the army, was rebellious, made a big fuss, but was steadfast... He had never felt that way before.
When he was young and rebellious, he also had a sudden idea to break free from the shackles of worldly life. A few days before the imperial examination, he burned all his pens, ink and books. But when he heard his father sighing, his mother asking him "What's wrong with you now?" and his sister frowning with confusion... he suddenly felt bored.
Then he sighed nonchalantly: [It was quite boring just now, now it’s all right after burning.]
So everyone dispersed as usual.
His life seems to be infinitely bright and everything is ready, but to him, it is just so boring.
Until, two years ago in the spring, in Hezhou, he suddenly met a person who was very special at first sight, and the longer he got to know her, the more interesting she became, and the more he wanted to explore her soul.
Thinking of this, Wei Shuyi suddenly became absent-minded, and it seemed that a way out was emerging in his mind.
At this time, he heard Cui Jing say: "I also envied you."
Wei Shuyi looked over and asked with a smile, "When you were a child, huh?"
Cui Jing said “hmm”.
"I know." Wei Shuyi smiled and said, "You have a strong personality, and at a young age you were taught by the Cui family to not show your likes and dislikes. The more you envy someone, the less you care. That's why you always pretend to be indifferent to me."
Cui Jing: "But I'm not pretending..."
Wei Shuyi laughed twice and raised his hand to pour wine for Cui Jing: "But you don't have to envy me anymore. You have your own way to go and a way out in your heart."
Cui Ling'an, who lost his mother at a young age and was lonely, envied his healthy and harmonious parents and his free and relaxed childhood.
"But people are so strange..." Wei Shuyi said, "What you envy of me is my ordinary and boring life. When I was young, I saw you were lonely, but when I grew up, I became the loneliest one."
Although the two knew each other since childhood, they had never talked to each other like this before. Just when Cui Jing felt a little different, Wei Shuyi said, "But I am okay now. I finally have a place in my heart where I am not alone."
"What you just said enlightened me a lot." Wei Shuyi exhaled slowly and said, "For a person like me who finds everything boring, this encounter is a blessing from heaven, adding a ray of life to my barren life."
This worry is hard to get rid of, so it’s better not to get rid of it. Just keep it in your heart and see how long he can handle it on his own.
“As long as we can get by, that’s it—” Wei Shuyi heaved a long sigh of relief again, as if he had taken off his shackles. He stood up with the wine cup in his hand, turned around and looked at the surroundings and the stars in the sky: “After all, this journey is worthwhile.”
To Cui Jing, these words could be summed up in three words: never give up.
After Wei Shuyi finished drinking the wine in the cup, he turned around and asked, "Cui Ling'an, what do you think?"
The one who answered him was Cui Jing's back.
Wei Shuyi: "I'm talking to you, why do you leave when you don't agree with something?"
Cui Jing said without even turning his head: "The wine debt has been paid off."
"I haven't even had the chance to thank you for your enlightenment!" Wei Shuyi has always known how to irritate people.
Cui Jing: “…”
Seeing the figure walking away, Wei Shuyi laughed and said, "Tsk, even the great Commander Cui can be so intolerant."
As soon as he saw that he had evil intentions, he turned around and left.
He finally realized that this person was not only intolerant, but also had no confidence at all.
It is rare in the world that Cui Ling'an also has such a lack of confidence.
So, this is not the birth of a human being to a rebellious person, but the birth of a romantic person to a rebellious person.
Wei Shuyi sat down with a smile on his face, his tense and tangled mood of the past few days gone, and he poured himself a drink until there was no more wine in the pot and the moon disappeared behind the mountain.
In the military camp not far away, the bonfire had dimmed.
Chang Suining was on her way back to her tent. Chang Sui'an followed her and asked nervously, "Ningning, are you really not drunk?"
"Brother, do you think I look drunk?" Chang Suining said, "I am already a good drinker, and I only drank a glass of fruit wine."
At the celebration banquet, Chang Suining did not drink any alcohol. She was still very cautious when it came to those strong liquors that were difficult to control.
This glass of fruit wine was specially obtained by Wu Chunbai after the banquet as a private farewell gift. Chang Suining did not want to refuse this kind of kindness, and he was planning to return to his tent to rest, so he drank it with peace of mind.
Hearing her say that she was good at drinking, Chang Sui'an felt relieved: "It's good that you're not drunk..."
I vaguely remember that when Ningning was in the capital, she had an unforgettable drunken incident, all caused by a glass of fruit wine.
Recalling this old event, Chang Sui'an couldn't help but think of the tragic experience of General Cui that day.
As soon as this thought appeared in his mind, Chang Sui'an saw a familiar "tragic figure" standing quietly in front of him, as if waiting for someone.
Looking at the face of the young man who did not look miserable but was extremely handsome under the light, Chang Sui'an was inexplicably startled - the fruit wine had been drunk, and the person who was to be beaten had also arrived, so why did he have this... ominous premonition that everything was ready?
Good night! (Advance warning, tomorrow I will write a little bit about the natural emotional line, only a little bit of the progress of the main emotional line. If you don’t want to read the emotional line, remember to skip tomorrow’s update. I will return to Jiangdu soon~)
(End of this chapter)
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