Chapter 442 Stay with Me Always
Cui Jing slowed down his pace and answered, "Yes, but we were not very close or trustworthy."
He has an indifferent personality, and there are probably less than three people, including Yuanxiang, who can be considered very close to him.
After he answered, he did not ask Chang Suining any further questions, but just waited quietly to see if she wanted to continue.
After walking for more than ten steps, Cui Jing heard another voice in his ear: "I have experienced many betrayals, but this time is particularly different... I don't think I am a stupid person, but I never doubted him until I died."
"He knows my secrets, even better than Lao Chang and the others. He is the only one who has known me the longest, grew up with me, accompanied me through the most difficult journey in the palace and in the army, and did everything he could for me—"
Her voice became softer and slower: "Obviously, they are not family, but they are better than family..."
From these words, it was not difficult for Cui Jing, who knew her life in detail, to guess who the "he" she was talking about was.
Cui Jing was also surprised and dazed for a moment.
"I pride myself on not being easily fooled, and I always stay alert... I was more or less aware of the betrayals in the past, and at worst, I could recall the clues afterwards. But he is the only one. Even now, I still can't think of when he made the slightest mistake."
Chang Suining's voice had a hint of bewilderment that he had never revealed: "Therefore, when I was alone thinking recently, I always felt uneasy."
Cui Jing then asked, "Your Highness, what are you worried about?"
"Since I became Ah Xiao when I was young, I have been depriving myself all the way." Chang Suining rested his chin on Cui Jing's shoulder, raised his head slightly and looked at the sky. His eyes were as calm and constant as the night sky: "For example, fear, cowardice, impulse, useless kindness, tears, and the qualification to make mistakes."
As she spoke, it seemed as if the stars in the sky went out one by one, until only one remained—
"But I don't want to be deprived of the ability to trust people again." She stared at the only star and murmured, "If I don't dare to trust anyone anymore, I will become a dark monster."
Cui Jing understood her "uneasiness".
It’s not that I’m afraid that there will be a second betrayer, but that I’m afraid that I will lose the ability to distinguish truth from falsehood and the courage to trust others.
"Your Highness will not turn into a monster." He said: "Your Highness must remember that you are a trustworthy person, and there will always be trustworthy people around you."
The young man's voice was also very slow, like a spring flowing through a mountain stream: "People's hearts are complicated and changeable. I dare not easily guarantee anyone, but I can at least guarantee that there are two people in this world that Your Highness can always trust-"
He said, "One is General Adian."
Chang Suining nodded in approval: "Adian is the best."
She said, "So it wasn't me who picked up Adian, it was Adian who took me in."
Ah Dian took her in with his pure heart, allowing her to keep a pure place deep in her heart.
"Cui Jing, you really know me." Chang Suining murmured.
Cui Jing's clear eyebrows and eyes were extremely gentle. He knew she had them because he had them too.
He also has such a pure place in his heart, where the everlasting moonlight stays.
"What about the second person?" Chang Suining asked him.
Cui Jing answered seriously: "It was Your Highness himself."
He said: "Your Highness is the most trustworthy person in the world. You can always listen to the voice of your heart. If you believe in yourself, you will not be wrong and you will not become a suspicious monster."
His voice was not loud, but it was filled with unshakable certainty.
"If I believe in myself, I won't become a monster, right?" Chang Suining repeated thoughtfully. As the confusion in his eyes faded, he slowly blinked and said, "I asked you who the second person was. I thought you would say Cui Jing."
"Cui Jing is a man who can be trusted." Cui Jing paused for a moment, tilted his head slightly, and said to the person on his back, "If Your Highness is willing, you can try to trust him."
"Can you also be his guarantor?" Chang Suining asked.
"Yes, I can guarantee that he will never betray Your Highness."
Chang Suining: "Never?"
Cui Jing: “Absolutely not.”
Chang Suining: "You said that yourself."
"yes."
"You must do what you said—" Chang Suining said, "You should know that I am not a pushover."
"Of course I know." There was a hint of warm smile in Cui Jing's voice.
The next moment, he suddenly felt Chang Suining's hands in front of him separate, and she actually put them around his neck from behind and held up his face.
Cui Jing paused, and just stared blankly as she exerted force on his hand, turning his face towards her.
They looked at each other, within a short distance of each other, his heart was beating like thunder, but the world was silent.
Chang Suining held his face in her hands in a very comfortable position, stared at him with a pair of misty dark eyes, and said slowly: "Cui Ling'an, has anyone ever told you that you really know how to heal others and how to treat others well--"
She removed all embellishments and said in the most straightforward words: "I really feel that you are treating me very well."
Cui Jing didn't know how to react. For a moment, he could only stare into her eyes without blinking. It seemed as if these two eyes with crystal smiles were the only ones left in the world.
The next moment, those eyes moved slightly and fell on his face, and along with them, her hand holding his cheek also moved——
"So, everyone in the world says that you have a rebellious nature. Where does that rebellious nature come from?"
As the girl spoke, her slender, slightly cool fingers explored and touched the young man's superior brow bone, then to his forehead, then to the top of his head, and behind his ears.
She was actually looking at his bones very seriously.
Cui Jing's heart was pounding wildly. He felt that her fingertips seemed to carry the holy moonlight leaking out from the clouds, but wherever she touched, a huge fire that burned the sky and the earth would ignite.
He tried to calm down, but all his rationality melted immediately like snow in an oven.
He was afraid that she would not be able to carry him steadily, so he supported her with one hand and used his other big hand to hold her lower back tightly.
Just as the hand was about to reach behind his neck, Cui Jing turned his head with difficulty and tried to make his voice sound normal and calm: "...The rumors of rebellion are just rumors."
He said, "Hold me tight, Your Highness. The road down the mountain is slippery. Don't move around."
After hearing his denial, Chang Suining gave up and returned to the safe position of hugging him with both hands, saying, "I think it's just a rumor. You are so good, you don't seem like a rebellious person."
"Your Highness." Cui Jing corrected him word by word, "This is the first time I treat someone like this."
Then he added in a sincere tone: "No one has ever taught me how to treat others well, so I am not doing very well."
"I feel great." Chang Suining leaned her head on his straight shoulder, closed her eyes sleepily, and said in a dreamy voice: "Cui Jing, please stay with me forever."
The young man's thick eyelashes trembled slightly, revealing his endless affection, and he said in a low and serious voice: "Okay, from now on, Your Highness will guard the Dao, and I will guard Your Highness."
"Then you must take care of yourself and stay safe." The dreamy voice said, "I don't want to be able to keep this path one day without Cui Lingan by my side..."
"Otherwise, I will pull you out and beat you up even if I am in the grave..." She said again in a threatening tone: "I am not someone who can be easily defeated."
Cui Jing believes that this is probably the most appealing threat in the world.
Not hearing his response, she seemed a little worried and asked again: "Remember it?"
"I remember it." Cui Jing: "Your Highness, will you remember it after you sober up?"
"Of course." Chang Suining whispered, "Although I was a little drunk, I didn't say a single stupid word."
Cui Jing smiled and said, "Okay, then I'm relieved."
He could sense that she seemed really sleepy, and when she started to speak, she began to speak in a halting manner, speaking whatever she thought of, and the changes in the topic were very abrupt.
For example, she suddenly asked: "...You always know what I want, what I like, and what I need. You seem to know everything. So what do you like? I always have to know something so that I can repay you with something good."
"Your Highness, you don't have to give me anything." But as he walked slowly, he still answered seriously: "I like this mountain, this moon, and this time."
Chang Suining said, "Then let's walk slower, and remember to take a closer look..."
Cui Jing smiled slightly: "Thank you, Your Highness, for your help."
The person on his back began to plan seriously: "You like mountains and the moon. When you go to Jiangdu one day, I will use the mountains of Jiangnan and the moon of Jiangdu to entertain you..."
Cui Jing: “Okay.”
As long as it is the mountains and the moon related to her, it is the best.
Chang Suining said again: "Wait a little longer... One day, I will use all the mountains and moons in the world to entertain you."
As she talked more and more, thinking about entertaining him and her great cause in the world, Cui Jing smiled silently and said, "Okay, I will wait for that day."
After saying this promise related to the great cause, Chang Suining's voice became even lower, and he sounded a little drowsy.
"Cui Jing... Actually, at first, I didn't trust you that much. I thought about it and waited and watched. It took me a long time to dare to trust you. But you don't seem to be like that..."
"You seem to have never tested me, never waited and hesitated, and always treated me without any defense. You just chose to stand by my side, so I often feel that..." She asked: "Have you seen me before, and know me?"
She asked, but Cui Jing had denied it before.
After a moment, when Cui Jing was about to answer, he turned his head slightly and saw her sleeping face.
"I don't want Your Highness to remember me back then." He said slowly, as if talking to himself, "But if Your Highness asks again, I will answer truthfully."
Chang Suining didn't ask any more questions, as she had fallen into a deep sleep.
They had reached a relatively flat and open mountain road at this time, but Cui Jing still carried her on his back and walked all the way down the mountain - she said they could walk slowly, and although he had selfish motives, she had also allowed it.
After going down the mountain, Cui Jing carried Chang Suining onto his horse.
He moved carefully, holding her horizontally in front of him, with her head resting safely in his arms.
He took off his cloak and covered her carefully. While tucking the cloak in for her, he noticed one side of her neck and Cui Jing paused slightly.
The snow-white neck, contrasted with the black hair, shone with a pearly glow under the moonlight.
Not knowing what he was thinking of, Cui Jing's eyelashes slightly narrowed. He raised his slender fingers, hovering above the neck. Under the moonlight, he slowly stroked the non-existent old scars.
He never touched her, but his movements were still extremely careful and gentle, like a moonlit kiss.
Fourteen years ago, this place must have been very painful.
Even when he was talking to himself, he felt a dull pain and uneasiness.
After a moment, he took the cloak and carefully wrapped her up, leaving only a little bit of her head exposed.
Cui Jing held Chang Suining with one hand and grabbed the reins with the other, driving the horse very slowly so as not to disturb her sleep.
Chang Suining slept very deeply and never even had dreams.
Cui Jing couldn't sleep the whole night.
…
The next morning, when Chang Suining woke up, he was already in his tent.
She sat up, her loose black hair loosened up, and after stretching lazily, she squinted her eyes at the big tent that was letting in the sunlight, revealing the same energetic smile.
Hearing that Chang Suining had woken up, the female soldier went to get some hot water for washing.
When the female soldier returned, she saw Chang Suining still sitting on the couch with her hair loose, and couldn't help but ask with a smile, "What are you thinking about, Governor?"
Normally, the governor would get dressed immediately after waking up.
Chang Suining lifted the quilt and got off the bed, smiling and saying, "Think about what we talked about last night."
She most likely remembered the Youzhou moon last night, which she enjoyed very comfortably and healed.
After Chang Suining washed and dressed, he was just about to sit down for breakfast when Hei Li ran in from outside, wagging his tail.
Hao Huan walked in and said with a smile, "It was Hei Li who brought the horse back last night."
The governor was brought back by General Cui - but to Hao Huan and others, this was the governor's private matter, and as subordinates, they only needed to see it and should not delve into it.
Chang Suining smiled and touched Hei Li's head: "So you're here to ask for credit."
Chang Suining asked people to prepare breakfast for Hei Li, and gave it half of his eggs as a reward.
After dinner, Chang Suining was about to leave the tent when he heard Tang Xing asking for a meeting.
Tang Xing came to say goodbye, saying that he had not been home for a long time and wanted to go back to visit his relatives.
Chang Suining nodded: "Of course, this place is only a few hundred miles away from Mount Wutai, there is no reason not to go home, it is time to go back and see my family."
She didn't say anything else, just handed over a heavy purse as travel expenses for Tang Xing.
Tang Xing did not refuse and bowed deeply: "Thank you, Governor."
Chang Suining sat there without moving, and nodded, saying, "Don't be sleepy, be careful along the way."
Tang Xing stood up straight.
Chang Suining asked Hao Huan to see him off.
Tang Xing thanked him again, bowed, and left the tent.
Hao Huan quickly turned back and said, "Sir, the people have already left."
Tang Xing was just a man with a horse and a sword. There was nothing to pack, so it was easy and simple for him to leave or stay.
Chang Suining nodded.
Hao Huan hesitated for a moment, but couldn't help asking, "Sir, he didn't mention a return date, he just said goodbye, will he never come back?"
Chang Suining: “Maybe.”
"Since you are so fond of talents, why don't you try to persuade him to stay?" Hao Huan said, "Or you can set a date for us to meet again, or even send him off in person..."
Your behavior today is not your usual way of treating talents.
Little did he know that Chang Suining, who was in love with Cai Nao, only looked relaxed on the surface, but his heart was already bleeding.
But considering the character and attitude that Tang Xing had always shown, she had expected this day to come.
"He is different from others. He is unstable and cannot be kept by external forces. The more reluctant I am to let him go, the more pressure I will put on him, which may be counterproductive." Chang Suining said: "He has not said it clearly, maybe he is considering whether to stay or leave. If he wants to come back, he will come back naturally."
During these days, Tang Xing and her had been through life and death together, talking about their experiences, swordsmanship, and the general situation of the world, but the only thing he had never talked about was his future plans.
If he comes back this time, it will mean that he is really willing to stay.
"What if he never comes back?" Hao Huan asked worriedly.
"If I can't keep him, no one else can either." Chang Suining: "At least we don't have to worry about him becoming an ally of the enemy."
Tang Xing's talent is undeniable and irreplaceable. Not only is he quick-witted, but he also has broad knowledge in the true sense. In Chang Suining's opinion, he has not yet played a truly useful role in her hands.
If possible, she hoped very much that she could wait until Tang Xiukun came back to find her.
Chang Suining was reluctant to leave the tent when she met someone who came to say goodbye to her.
There are 4300 words today, good night~ (Thank you all for your monthly tickets, and thank you for the tips from my book friends Lonely Cello, Qiqi Zhuo Shiyong, Scallion Roasted Chestnut Chicken, and Spring Rolls Are Not Delicious~
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