Chapter 135
The sky seemed to be splashed with thick ink, and everything was silent.
The two people hugged each other so close that they could only hear each other's heartbeats.
Fan Changyu pursed her lips and suddenly pushed Xie Zheng away with force.
After making sure that he was safe, her worries along the way turned into lingering fear, as well as a sudden surge of anger and grievances that she herself did not quite understand.
She questioned, "I shouldn't have come. But if you come alone and are ambushed by Wei Yan, what will you do to the Xie family? What will you do to your generals?"
Xie Zhong said that he knelt in front of the tablet of Xie's ancestors and received 1,808 lashes. After the punishment, there was not a single piece of good flesh left on his entire back. The scene of kneeling in a pool of blood and unable to even stand up seemed to be right in front of him.
Fan Changyu didn't know if he was blinded by the wind on the mountain, but there was a hint of red in his eyes.
She stared at the person in front of her, her hands clenched into fists and trembling uncontrollably. She forced herself to keep a hard and cold face and asked the last question: "What do you want me to do?"
These words made Xie Zheng raise his eyes suddenly, and his pupils twitched slightly, as if he could hardly believe that she would say such a thing.
Fan Changyu's eyes were red, and he glared at him fiercely with gritted teeth, like a desperate and injured leopard: "Since the day I knew your identity, I never thought of having anything to do with you again. It's you who provokes me again and again!"
"It was you who said that we were going to part ways. I don't blame you for the hatred for General Xie. But it was you who told me after the celebration banquet in Lucheng that no matter whether my last name was Fan or Meng, you just wanted to be with me! Are you trying to deny it now?"
The emotions that had been weighing on my chest surged up like a tide, almost swallowing up my rationality.
Since she was old enough to understand, Fan Changyu rarely showed her grievances in front of others. This was the only time she couldn't control her emotions and shouted at the person in front of her in hatred: "Xie Zheng, you bastard!"
Why don't you bring some help here?
He could not tell her that today was his mother's death anniversary. After all, there was no concrete evidence to prove her father's innocence. He felt guilty towards his parents for bringing someone who might be the daughter of his enemy to pay homage.
She didn't blame him.
But why would he put himself in danger?
Ever since he knew that Xie Linshan had been punished before coming to Lucheng to find him, Fan Changyu understood that Xie Linshan’s death was ultimately a huge burden on his heart.
He kept a low profile in front of her, but secretly he was trying to atone for his sins to his parents in his own way.
Am I coming here alone tonight also for the purpose of "atonement"?
Fan Changyu has always been slow in emotions. When she heard from Xie Zhong that today was his mother's death anniversary, she was only distracted for a short while. It was not until this moment that the sadness and grievances that she had deliberately downplayed broke out of her cocoon and surged into her heart, forcing her throat to choke.
His eye sockets were aching badly, but Fan Changyu didn't want to cry. He held on without blinking, not letting the tears that were welling up in his eyes fall. A few steps away, Xie Zheng's face became blurred in the tears that he was trying to hold back.
Even though he couldn't see clearly, Fan Changyu still stared at him and spoke harshly and firmly: "Without solid evidence, I can't prove to you that my father is innocent. Maybe I won't be able to find evidence to prove the truth in the future. Then my father may have helped Wei Yan kill General Xie."
"If you stay with me, you will feel guilty all the time and spend the rest of your life in pain and struggle."
My chest felt like it was torn open by the cold wind, and it was so cold that it hurt.
Fan Changyu's throat was so sore that it became hoarse. The tear that he had been holding back in his eye socket overflowed his eyelids and rolled down like broken beads without even staying on his face.
She took a deep breath and said, "Instead of this, we might as well break up. I don't want this. Seeing you suffering alone, I feel bad at all. Maybe you shouldn't have come back to me in the first place. Sometimes, a short pain is worse than a long one... well..."
Before she could finish her sentence, someone suddenly grabbed her neck and nailed her heavily to the trunk of a cypress tree in front of the tomb.
His back ached, but Fan Changyu had no time to care.
Xie Zheng's hot breath was right in front of him, his eyes were bloodshot, his jaw muscles were clenched, he looked fierce and violent, like a wild beast on the verge of going mad.
The hand that was holding her neck had bulging veins and the strength was shockingly great.
He lowered his head and looked at her, as if trying his best to control his emotions and not let himself do anything to hurt her. The remaining rationality pulled at the black anger clamoring in his chest, and he spoke with difficulty and determination: "Don't say such things again..."
At that moment, there was indeed hatred in his eyes.
"You're right, I'm a bastard. Even if I die, I'll just drag you into my coffin. You tell me to break up?"
He laughed faintly, his face covered in blood foam, looking both beautiful and pale in the moonlight. He suddenly lowered his head and bit her shoulder fiercely, his eyes revealing an almost insane love and a desperate determination.
Fan Changyu groaned in pain and tried to struggle, but he was pinned against the tree and held tightly with great force.
When Xie Zheng raised his head again, his hair was messed up by the wind, his lips were stained with blood, and his face looked even more beautiful, just like the monsters in the novels that lurked at night and sucked people's essence.
He murmured in a low voice: "Separate? Fan Changyu, why didn't I chew you up and swallow you bite by bite?"
Fan Changyu raised her eyes and stared at him expressionlessly. When he raised one hand to touch her face, she suddenly attacked, jumped up, grabbed his hand and lifted it up.
Xie Zheng was unable to react for a moment and was thrown to the ground by her brute force. His back hit the bluestone floor tiles in front of the tomb hard, making a dull sound.
Without waiting for him to get up, Fan Changyu pounced over like a leopard, locked his neck with one hand, and pressed his legs and feet on both sides of his waist and abdomen to restrain his movements, just like he had clamped himself just now, pressing him down tightly.
She said in a hateful voice, "Who was the one who came to this cemetery to fall into the trap even though he knew Wei Yan was watching you?"
"You mind my identity and don't want to tell me. Can't you just bring a few more guards?"
At the end, Fan Changyu couldn't help but choke up a little: "You are with me, and I feel guilty about General Xie and Madam Xie. Do I feel better in my heart?"
Xie Zheng looked at the fierce and vicious girl who was pressing on him and holding his throat. He was slightly stunned, and finally understood the reason why she said that. He raised a hand and pressed her back, pressing her against him, and said, "It's not what you think..."
Fan Changyu broke free from his embrace, sat up, glared at him angrily and asked, "So what do you mean?"
Xie Zheng was shaken off by Fan Changyu's hand, and he did not stand up. He just lay on his back on the green brick ground in front of the tomb, looking at the dark night sky with dim eyes and said, "I haven't told you about my mother, have I?"
"She hanged herself not long after my father's coffin was brought back to Beijing. I was four years old that year. On the day she died, she made sweet-scented osmanthus cake for me, put on her favorite clothes, and drew eyebrows and lipstick in front of the mirror. She coaxed me out to eat some cakes, but when I came back, she was already a corpse hanging from the beam."
Fan Changyu was stunned.
"She entrusted me to Wei Yan, and I lived in the Wei mansion for sixteen years. When I was young, Wei Yan's good son stuffed a snake into my quilt in the middle of summer, poured cold well water on my bed in the cold winter, and tore up the homework assigned by the teacher..."
"Every time I think of her, I also hate her. I hate her for being a wife of a rich family but being too weak to shoulder the responsibility of a wife of a rich family. I hate her for being a mother but leaving me without fulfilling her motherly responsibilities. In many late nights, I would see the gorgeous hem of her skirt dangling under the beam in my nightmares."
Xie Zheng smiled and said, "I thought Wei Yan hated me because I was greedy for that plate of sweet-scented osmanthus cake and left my mother, which gave her the opportunity to hang herself. I actually hate myself too..."
When Fan Changyu heard him talk about his childhood experiences in such a calm tone, as if he was talking about someone else's affairs, his hands on his knees unconsciously clenched.
She only heard from Zhu Youchang that Mrs. Xie died to protect Xie Zheng and the old members of the Xie family who participated in exposing Wei Yan, but she didn't know that there were so many misunderstandings between Xie Zheng and his mother.
When her parents died unexpectedly, she would not have been able to cheer up so quickly if it weren't for Changning.
He lost his parents at a young age and was afraid that the sky had fallen. He blamed himself for his mother's death and was bullied in the Wei Mansion.
Fan Changyu remembered that he had heard that he had given a pair of clay figurines to Song Yan when he was a child, so he wanted to give him a pair as well.
At that time, she thought he was childish in her heart, but now she vaguely understood it.
It was probably because he had never received any warmth and comfort since he was a child that he wanted even the pair of clay figurines that she had given to Song Yan.
There was a sharp pain in my heart.
Fan Changyu looked at the person lying on his back beside him, reached out his hand, gently touched his head, and said, "Mrs. Xie's death is not your fault."
Xie Zheng said self-deprecatingly: "I hated her for seventeen years before I realized that she died for me."
"I didn't tell you that today is her death anniversary. It's not because I mind your identity, but because I haven't figured out how to meet her..."
Fan Changyu felt mixed emotions and whispered, "I'm sorry."
She had misunderstood him.
Xie Zheng tilted his head to look at her and asked with a smile, "Why apologize? I haven't told you this before, so it's inevitable that you misunderstood me."
He bent his knees and sat up, the shape of his shoulder and back muscles was very obvious under his robe: "Did Xie Zhong tell you I was here?"
Fan Changyu was afraid that he would blame the lame old man, so he hurriedly said, "I came out after seeing Uncle Zhu and didn't see you, so I took the initiative to ask him."
Xie Zheng said: "He is becoming less and less strict."
Fan Changyu pursed his lips and said, "He is also worried about you. No matter what, it is too dangerous for you to come alone to pay tribute to Madam Xie."
Xie Zheng lowered his eyes and said nothing. The moonlight cut out the outline of his profile, revealing a bit of coldness and stubbornness.
Fan Changyu thought he was still upset about Madam Xie, so he said nothing more and just said, "It's good that nothing happened."
Xie Zheng suddenly spoke up: "When I came to worship my mother, he taught me not to bring anyone else with me."
Fan Changyu asked in confusion: "Who?"
Xie Zheng stopped talking, stood up, looked at his parents' tombstone behind him, knelt down and kowtowed three times.
Fan Changyu was still guessing who the person was who taught him. After thinking it over, the only possibility was Wei Yan.
She was secretly shocked, and thought, since he already knew that Wei Yan was the enemy who killed his parents, why did he still remember what Wei Yan said before?
But thinking that Wei Yan was his uncle after all, during those ten years or so, Xie Zheng had actually always regarded him as his only relative in the world, and even as the most handy knife in Wei Yan's hand.
No matter how harshly Wei Yan treated Xie Zheng, he was never inferior to him in martial arts or studies.
Even though they are now at odds with each other, Xie Zheng probably still has special feelings for Wei Yan, right?
Fan Changyu looked at his tall and thin back, feeling extremely complicated.
Xie Zheng kowtowed and stood up, suddenly looking at Fan Changyu: "Kowtow to your parents."
The author has something to say:
Changyu: ()? ? ? ! ! ! I just beat him up in front of his parents’ grave, and now he wants me to meet his parents-in-law, what should I do? Waiting online, very urgent…
I'm stuck with writer's block. I'll try to finish the two chapters I owe tomorrow.
Happy New Year, my dears~ I will give you red envelopes in the comment section~
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