Chapter 93
The mountain breeze made the leaves on the trees rustle. The person in front of him lowered his head slightly and stared at him. They were only half a foot apart and could even hear each other's breathing clearly when they spoke.
Fan Changyu looked at the man with a murderous look in his eyes and instinctively felt that he was in danger. He was pressing her shoulders with great force. She tried to struggle, but not only did she not break free, he held her tighter, causing her bones to ache slightly.
She frowned and asked, "What are you talking about?"
Xie Zheng asked her coldly, "Aren't you going to join the army in Jizhou?"
Fan Changyu said: "I am going to join the army, but not in the way you think."
Xie Zheng was so angry that he laughed out loud: "It's not what I thought. Why are you afraid that I will know and leave without saying a word?"
Fan Changyu looked at his fierce and red eyes, feeling somewhat guilty. It was indeed her lack of consideration to leave without saying goodbye, but there were some things that she really didn't know how to say in front of him.
She pursed her lips slightly and said, "I'm sorry."
Xie Zheng looked at the girl in front of him who always had an honest face and would never tell a lie. For a moment, he wanted to strangle her to death. His hands, which were tightly gripping her shoulders, were shaking. With a somewhat evil look on his face, he pressed her into his arms, not wanting her to see his even more evil and terrifying eyes.
He gritted his teeth and said, "Fan Changyu, you should have stabbed me twice before leaving, so that I couldn't get up from the ground."
Dark anger rolled in his heart, and the fear hidden deep in his bones, as if he was the only one left in the world, seeped out from the gaps between his bones and seeped into his flesh and blood bit by bit, causing his hands, which were holding her tightly, to tremble uncontrollably.
All the pride and toughness shattered like thin ice under the sun.
Why don't you want to be with him?
Why doesn't anyone want him?
That woman was then, and she is now.
Everything she felt was a barrier between them, he was solving.
But she still doesn't want him!
He gave her his whole heart, but she didn't even bother to pay any attention to it!
For a moment, Xie Zheng felt as if he was not himself, because he could not control his body. He saw himself lowering his head and biting Fan Changyu's shoulder fiercely through his clothes.
Fan Changyu groaned in pain, but his teeth were still clenched, his eyes were bloodshot, and his arms were tightly clasped around the person in his arms. No matter how she struggled, his grip did not loosen at all, as if she was a wild wolf biting its dying prey.
Fan Changyu cursed in pain: "What are you crazy about?"
The man who bit her finally let go. There was blood on his lips and his face was pale. He lowered his eyes and looked at her and whispered, "Fan Changyu, why can't you like me?"
It sounded more like a beg than a question.
The light breeze blew his messy hair that fell on his forehead.
At that moment, the expression on his face was more fragile than ever before.
The anger on Fan Changyu's face froze. In her impression, Xie Zheng had always been arrogant. When had he ever been so humble? Her heart softened and she sighed, "Why shouldn't I like you?"
She raised her hand and touched his hair, her eyes gentle and firm: "If I didn't like you, I wouldn't come to you, and I wouldn't be afraid of your death and go to the battlefield for you."
Her hand fell on his head, and the hostility in him dissipated for the most part. He stared at her for a moment, then curled his lips in self-mockery: "The person you like is the one you think is Yan Zheng."
Fan Changyu didn't expect that he would suddenly get so obsessed. She said, "If you are Yan Zhengshi, I like you. If you are Xie Zheng, I like you too."
"You had nothing, so I killed pigs to raise you. You are much better than me, and I am also learning to become better, so I joined the army."
Xie Zheng was completely stunned, staring at her blankly with his dark eyes. His eyelashes were dark and curled like crow feathers, and looked fuzzy under the sun. His cold and delicate face actually revealed a bit of cleverness.
It’s like a child who has never had candy before, and is suddenly given a candy one day. His first reaction is not joy, but confusion and bewilderment.
After a while, he looked at her critically and asked, "Are you trying to fool me?"
Fan Changyu was furious, but seeing him like this, he couldn't help feeling distressed.
She had always thought that he was a gifted man who had everything he wanted, but at this moment she suddenly felt that what he had seemed to be very little.
Therefore, every time he lost something, it was like it was torn out of his flesh and blood, and it could make him lose half his life.
She said: "I'm not trying to tease you. I'm just telling you that I like you too, no matter if you're Yan Zheng or Xie Zheng."
"I rejected you because I thought that being together wouldn't end well for us. You are Yan Zhengshi, and we have to worry about the daily necessities of life. But you can earn money by copying books and writing contemporary essays, and I can also make money by killing pigs and selling pork. If we encounter any difficulties, we can support each other and overcome the difficulties."
"But when you were Marquis Wu'an, I didn't know how to help you when you encountered any difficulties. I didn't understand what you were busy with or worried about. My mother said that a couple can only live a long life if they understand and support each other. Most of those who become resentful couples have already worn out their former friendship before they have settled down in life."
"I wanted to break up with you, but you told me that we would go to Yanshan to watch the sunrise and Huizhou to hunt together in the future. You were afraid that I would be bullied, so you asked Mr. Tao to adopt me as your adopted daughter. I am not made of stone, so I would be sad and reluctant to let you go."
"I don't know if I will regret choosing this path in the future, but at least for now I am willing to give it a try."
She looked at him seriously and said, "I will become the same person as you and be with you uprightly."
The sun was shining brightly in the sky, but not a single ray of light could enter Xie Zheng's dark eyes. Only Fan Changyu's shadow was reflected, like a ball of thick ink that was about to swallow her completely.
He held her tightly in his arms, his voice deep and hoarse: "No matter what your identity is with me, it is upright."
Fan Changyu said: "What I want to find is the confidence to walk side by side with you. This confidence does not lie in your deep feelings for me, but in myself. Even if a falcon is so powerful, it cannot carry another eagle with it to fly, right?"
Xie Zheng understood what she meant, but because he understood, he pursed his lips even tighter. He stood up and said, "The battlefield is not a joke. You can lose your life if you are not careful. Even if you have the courage to defeat ten thousand men, there will always be accidents. I will not let you take risks."
You can achieve military merit on the battlefield, but buried beneath the yellow sand are piles of bones.
Fan Changyu looked at him and said, "I am also afraid of death. I can't bear to leave Ning Niang and you, but if I don't take this path, someone might force me into danger in the future. I still remember the two assassinations at home when I was in Lin'an Town. I never knew that my enemy was such a powerful person. You almost died at his hands."
"Rather than being carefully protected like a vase or porcelain, and then being smashed to pieces once it hits the ground, I would rather train myself to be strong. I said, I want to walk side by side with you. He is also my enemy. For the sake of revenge for my parents, I should do so. I like you, but I can't rely on you for the rest of my life, otherwise I won't be myself."
Xie Zheng had no way to refute her words, so he finally gave in: "Wouldn't it be better to just stay in the Yanzhou Army?"
Fan Changyu said, "Then it's no different from what we experienced before on the mountain."
The two looked at each other, one with silent and forbearing eyes, the other with clear and limpid eyes.
Finally, Xie Zheng relented: "Okay, you can go to Jizhou to join the army, but you must bring Xie Wu and Xie Qi with you."
Fan Changyu knew that this was the biggest concession he could make, so he nodded and then said, "Please send me back, otherwise Mr. Tao and Ning Niang will be waiting anxiously."
She was not used to calling her adoptive father Master Tao yet, so she turned around and walked towards the big black horse that was grazing, but her hand was grabbed.
She looked at him in confusion: "Yan Zheng?"
Fragmented sunlight filtered through the gaps between the treetops, casting mottled shadows on the young man's hair and his cold jade-like face.
His dark pupils were fixed on her, he said nothing, yet seemed to be asking her something silently.
Fan Changyu didn't understand what he meant, so he asked again, "What's wrong?"
He said slowly: "You said you like me."
Fan Changyu was stunned at first, then met his gaze. Thinking of what he had done to him in the past, he suddenly understood what he meant.
He had done this to her many times, but this was the first time for her.
This was different from the last time when he was sick and he kissed her eyelids and she kissed him on the forehead in a daze.
She didn't think much about it at the time. She just felt that it was similar to slapping Changning on the face. This time, because she understood what it meant, she didn't do anything. She just let him look at her, and her heart was beating fast, as if there was a deer in her chest.
She had never seen how others kissed, but every time Xie Zheng kissed her, he would just press down directly.
Therefore, the question of whether to close his eyes or not was not something Fan Changyu considered.
She was considered tall among women, but Xie Zheng was still half a head taller than her.
She tensed her face, stood on tiptoe and quickly touched his well-shaped lips.
Unlike the swollen and painful feeling on her lips every time Xie Zheng kissed her, Fan Changyu was surprised to find that his lips were quite soft.
Then why did her mouth hurt so much before?
Could it be because of the bite?
As soon as this thought came to her mind, Fan Changyu felt that it was time for a gentleman to take revenge. The teeth marks on her shoulder were still painful, so she bit his lips without hesitation.
The force was not very strong, but she clearly felt the person in front of her pause for a moment.
Fan Changyu decided to stop when he saw that he was ahead, and quickly stepped back, saying, "Okay, let's go back..."
Xie Zheng seemed to have not come back to his senses yet, with a daze on his face for a moment, and his thick and long black eyelashes trembling slightly. He had a handsome and ascetic appearance, and because he had been in the battlefield for a long time and held a high position, he had the bearing of a superior, which made people feel that he was dignified and unbearable to look at on weekdays.
It was rare for him to show such an expression. He looked less stern and domineering, and his appearance made people feel even more stunning. Fan Changyu's heart skipped a beat.
How can a man be so handsome?
Xie Zheng raised his hand and touched his lower lip that had been bitten by Fan Changyu, then looked at Fan Changyu again with an unclear look in his eyes, not knowing what he was thinking. He put his fingers to his lips and blew a whistle, and the big black horse that was grazing in the distance quickly spread its four hooves and ran back.
After he climbed onto the horse's back, he stretched out a hand towards Fan Changyu. After Fan Changyu got on the hand, he gently pulled the man onto the horse's back.
Fan Changyu asked curiously, "Can this whistle call a Gaker Falcon or a horse?"
As she spoke, she looked at his index finger that had just been used to whistle, and found a circle of scars from some unknown injury, which looked like bite marks, but more severe than bite marks.
The person behind him answered: "The whistle has different lengths and pitches, so the instructions are different."
The two of them didn't talk much along the way. Fan Changyu asked him a question or two occasionally, and he answered very simply, as if he was in a trance.
Only when the tail of the Jizhou Army could be seen on the gentle slope ahead did Xie Zheng suddenly pull the reins.
Fan Changyu thought that he was afraid that sending him directly back to the army would be too ostentatious, so when he was about to dismount, he was grabbed by the arm.
She turned around in confusion and found that his dark eyes were fixed on her again. He was very close to her and could kiss her if he just lowered his head, but he didn't press down even a bit.
The intention couldn't be more obvious.
Fan Changyu choked slightly. When she kissed him, she was still wondering, why this person, when he wanted to be kissed, acted like he wanted it but refused to say so, and would immediately change his face to a dog-like temper if he was not kissed?
The author has something to say:
Xie: She likes me very much. She kisses me every time.
Mr. Fan: Oh~
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My thoughts were not going smoothly, but now they are. I will try to update more to make up for the previous ones. I will give 100 red envelopes to the steamed buns in this chapter, muah~
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