Chapter 55
The day after sharing instant noodles under the stars, the sun shone brightly. Perhaps the news of their upcoming debut had caused the company's supervision to relax slightly, or perhaps it was Ling Yao's willfulness after being suppressed for too long, but they actually sneaked off to a famous amusement park in J City.
While waiting in line, Ling Yao looked at the playful student couple in front of him and suddenly whispered, "Sometimes I really envy them." Su Rui followed his gaze, her heart aching. Over the past two years, they had only met a handful of times, and each time was like a secret meeting, filled with hiding and tension. Holding hands, shopping, or even just strolling side by side in the sun was a luxury for them. He gently touched Ling Yao's fingers: "It's good like this now." Ling Yao squeezed his hand firmly, then quickly released it, his words saying it all. All the regrets and grievances that could not be expressed were contained in that single grip.
They played the exciting spinning cup and laughed their asses off in the bumper cars, temporarily putting aside all the pressure. Su Rui even acted like a child for once, insisting on hitting the balloon to win the biggest doll. However, his technique was poor, and Ling Yao couldn't stand it anymore. He silently took aim, and with a few shots, he won him a cute but soft little monster. "Here you go." Ling Yao stuffed the doll into his hand. Su Rui was stunned for a moment while holding the ugly thing, and then muttered awkwardly: "...Who wants this?" But the corners of his mouth couldn't help but curl up. He remembered that he was like this during the college entrance examination holiday. Time passes, but some things never change.
Finally, they stood beneath the enormous Ferris wheel. "I heard you can see all of J City from the top," Ling Yao said, looking up, his eyes filled with longing and a subtle vulnerability. Perhaps he needed more than just the view; he needed a vantage point, a place where he could temporarily escape all constraints and touch eternity.
Sitting in the cramped elevator, it slowly ascended. Gazing at the shrinking world beneath him, Ling Yao suddenly spoke softly, "Those years... every time I felt like I couldn't hold on any longer, I'd look at your photos, read your messages." Su Rui's heart trembled, and she looked at him. "Seeing you improve little by little, taking such stunning photos, getting an internship at such a prestigious place..." Ling Yao paused, his voice a little hoarse. "I felt like I couldn't lose to you. I had to be worthy of you." These weren't sweet words, but they weighed deeper than any. Su Rui realized then that sharing her hard work wasn't just about sharing good news; it had inadvertently become a source of comfort and spur for Ling Yao in his despair. His nose tingled with soreness. "No... no one is unworthy of anyone. Without you, I might have..." Perhaps I would still be trapped in that dark corner, feeling inferior and timid. It was Ling Yao, in some way or another, who forcibly pulled him out of that world, giving him the courage and opportunity to see more possibilities. Even if the process was painful, the change was real.
The elevator reached its highest point. The bustling city of Seoul lay spread out beneath us, sunlight pouring in unreservedly. Ling Yao turned and looked deeply at Su Rui, his eyes as complex as the years they had walked together. "Su Rui, thank you." Thank you for always seeing the real me when everyone else only saw my halo or my embarrassment. Thank you for waiting.
He didn't say it out loud, but Su Rui understood it from his eyes. He shook his head gently, tears falling: "I should be the one to say thank you." Thank you for needing me, thank you for making me feel that I can be so important.
Ling Yao lowered his head and kissed him deeply. This kiss carried with it all the longing, pain, dependence, gratitude, and almost panic-inducing possessiveness of the past two years. It was no longer just desire, but a confirmation of their irreplaceable weight in each other's lives.
After a long moment, Ling Yao slightly retreated, resting his forehead against Su Rui's, their breaths intertwined. His eyes were more serious than ever, with a hint of pleading: "Remember, no matter what happens, no matter where I am in the future, or what I become, you are mine. Do you understand? I can't live without you."
This almost paranoid oath stemmed from extreme insecurity, but also from the deepest dependence. Su Rui nodded vigorously, tears blurring her eyes: "I know. I will always be yours."
The Ferris wheel slowly descended, and that kiss at the apex felt like a gorgeous but fleeting dream. Back on the ground, Ling Yao put on his mask and hat again. His brief moment of relaxation and abandon quickly faded, and he returned to the ever-vigilant idol in preparation.
On the way to send Su Rui home, his phone kept vibrating. Messages from the company and his agent urged him to return to training and meetings. Ling Yao's brows furrowed as he read the messages. The freshness and enthusiasm he had just had on the Ferris wheel gradually faded from his eyes, replaced by a familiar, suppressed anxiety.
He didn't even send Su Rui downstairs to her residence, and stopped at a corner. "The company is urging me to leave, I have to go." His tone became hurried, even a little impatient, "Go back by yourself, be careful."
After saying this, without even waiting for Su Rui's response, he lowered the brim of his hat, turned hurriedly, quickly blended into the crowd, and soon disappeared.
Su Rui stood there, still holding the ugly and cute doll in her hands. The burning warmth of that climax kiss seemed to still remain on her lips, but there was an inexplicable emptiness in her heart.
Happy moments are always so fleeting that they seem stolen. The Ling Yao who swore "You are mine" at the top of the Ferris wheel and the Ling Yao who hurried away because of a few text messages without even looking back seemed to have become two different people.
Su Rui vaguely felt that the smooth road before her might just be an illusion, and the real storm was quietly brewing at the end of the brilliant starry road.
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