Chapter 39
The sunshine and sea breeze of Jeju Island seemed to still linger in the memory of their skin, but the familiar, slightly humid air of South City quickly brought them back to reality. After returning, Su Rui keenly noticed that something was wrong with Ling Yao.
He no longer stayed at Su Rui's house as often as he had during the holidays. Sometimes he replied to her messages quickly, sometimes after a long time. When they occasionally met, he seemed a little absent-minded, with a faint, lingering layer of irritability and gloom between his brows. When asked what was wrong, he always shook his head and changed the subject, avoiding Su Rui's questions.
Su Rui felt vaguely uneasy, but she didn't dare ask any more questions. She could only accompany him more cautiously. That humble feeling, the fear of loss, quietly emerged from the cracks in her heart.
That afternoon, Su Rui was at home sorting through the shells she'd brought back from her trip when her phone suddenly vibrated. It was a text from Ling Yao. The message was short, but it made Su Rui's heart clench: "Are you home? I'm coming over right now. I miss you so much. I need you."
The words in the text message—"I need you"—were almost unprecedentedly blunt and vulnerable for Ling Yao. Su Rui immediately replied, "I'm here," and quickly tidied up the slightly messy little room. Her heart was pounding, and she had a strong premonition that something had happened to Ling Yao.
At this moment, in the Ling family's luxurious yet cold villa, a storm had just subsided, or rather, had just reached its peak.
The cause was the same old story. Ling Yao's mother, the always exquisitely made-up and impeccably dressed lady, had once again heard a close friend brag about her son's acceptance into a world-class university. She channeled all her frustration and inner anxiety into sharp words, unleashing them on Ling Yao.
"...How could his son be so ambitious? Top 100 on the QS test! How proud would his parents be if they knew about it? Look at you! Just because you went to a domestic university, you think you can sit back and relax? How much have I sacrificed for you? And this is how you repay me? You're a hopeless case!"
Ling Yao had originally just listened expressionlessly; he had long been accustomed to these comparisons and pressures. But his mother's final words, "A piece of rotten mud cannot be helped," were like a sting, precisely piercing his last taut nerves.
He looked up at his mother's beautiful face, slightly distorted by anger, and a wave of exhaustion and despair washed over him. He spoke hoarsely, a last glimmer of hope in communication: "Mom, can you please stop talking? I know it's been tough for you all these years. I've tried my best to understand and tolerate you... Can you, for once, try to understand me?"
However, what prayers brought was not reflection, but more complete destruction.
Mrs. Ling was like a cat whose tail was stepped on. She instantly flew into a rage. She pointed her finger at Ling Yao, her beautifully finished nails almost poking his face. Her voice was so sharp that it pierced his eardrums: "Understand you? Why should I understand you? What's the use of me having you?! Why don't you just die!!"
——“Why don’t you just die.”
These five words, like the coldest poisoned dagger, stabbed into Ling Yao's heart, instantly shattering all his expectations and disguises.
The air was dead silent for a few seconds.
The color drained away from Ling Yao's face. He stared blankly at the woman in front of him who had given him life, whose condition was always up and down, but who had never given him true warmth. His eyes quickly turned red, not with sadness, but with extreme anger and despair.
He burst into laughter, his voice filled with sarcasm. "Yes! I'm useless! I'm hopeless! Then why did you force me out of the international school? I was doing well in the junior high school! You said I was naughty and that my friends were trash and were a bad influence!"
He approached step by step, tears finally bursting out of his eyes uncontrollably, mixed with huge anger. "You don't look down on them at all! You look down on me! You're afraid of me! You're afraid that if I really go abroad and gain wings, I'll never return to your cold cage! You want to break my wings and tie me to you forever, like a dog that can be called and dismissed at will! Right?!"
He roared out those last words with almost all his strength, each word laced with blood and tears. The grievances and pain of being controlled, belittled, and objectified for years finally burst forth in that moment.
Ling Yao's mother was stunned by his unprecedented fierce resistance and the words that completely tore off his mask. She was speechless for a moment, and just covered her chest and stared at him in disbelief.
Ling Yao no longer looked at her. He suddenly wiped the tears from his face with the back of his hand, turned around, opened the heavy door, and rushed out without looking back, leaving behind the suffocating home where only they, mother and son, lived.
He ran aimlessly, the wind whistling in his ears, but it couldn't blow away his mother's vicious curse of "Why don't you just die?" and the excruciating pain of his own heart being torn apart. The world was so big, and he suddenly realized that he had nowhere to go.
His only thoughts were about that name, that person, and that shabby yet cozy little house that was the only place that could make him feel a little warmth and peace.
He needed to see Su Rui. Now, immediately. Only the complete, almost blind dependence and admiration in Su Rui's eyes could make him feel that he was still alive and had a little value.
He stumbled and ran in that direction - Su Rui's home.
There was a rapid knock on the door, with an unusual flurry of sound. Su Rui immediately ran over to open the door.
Outside the door, Ling Yao stood there, his hair disheveled, his eyes red, tears still lingering on his face, his breathing rapid, and he looked like he had just escaped from a disaster, emitting a kind of brokenness and despair that Su Rui had never seen before.
"Ling Yao..." Su Rui was stunned. Before she could finish her words, Ling Yao suddenly hugged her tightly.
The hug was so strong that it almost rubbed Su Rui into her bones and blood, and her body was still trembling slightly. Ling Yao buried his face deeply in his neck, and the hot liquid instantly soaked Su Rui's collar.
Su Rui froze, his heart aching. He had never seen Ling Yao like this before, as fragile as a lost child. He hesitated, then slowly and carefully raised his hands, gently hugged him back, patting his back repeatedly, as if soothing a wounded animal.
"It's okay... It's okay..." He whispered awkwardly over and over again, even though he had no idea what was happening.
This shabby but warm little house once again became the only safe haven after Ling Yao's storm. And Su Rui was the only piece of driftwood he could hold onto.
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