Look at me
Jiang Yibai's cashmere coat enveloped Lin Xiyan like a cocoon of warmth. The remaining warmth and clean, refreshing air permeated every pore, dispelling the chill that had built up in his bones, yet bringing with it an inconsolable heat that seeped in from the surface of his skin, burning his ears and neck.
He sat frozen in his seat, barely daring to move. The wide cuffs covered most of his hands, revealing only his red, frozen fingertips. He curled his fingers slightly, the soft, delicate touch of the fabric caressing his skin, reminding him that this piece of clothing didn't belong to him.
It's too much. This warmth and concern are too much.
He lowered his head, pretending to be absorbed in reading the open English book, but his gaze was unfocused. The presence of the person next to him was surprisingly strong.
Jiang Yibai came back wearing a thick off-white sweater that looked soft and warm. He was in a very good mood, with a smile on his face. When he sat down, his elbow accidentally brushed against Lin Xiyan's arm.
Lin Xiyan shrank back subconsciously.
Jiang Yibai noticed it immediately and turned to look at him, blinking his purple eyes. Instead of moving away, he pushed his chair nearly an inch closer. The space between them completely disappeared, and their arms were tightly pressed against each other.
"Are you still cold?" He asked in a low voice, his breath brushing Lin Xiyan's ear.
Lin Xiyan shook his head violently, his hair scraping against the high collar of his coat, making a subtle rustling sound. He could almost feel the warmth of Jiang Yibai's arm through his sweater, and the faint, pleasant scent of his body. This was even more disturbing than the simple wrapping of the coat just now.
"Let me see your hand." Jiang Yibai said, and his hand reached out from under the table, accurately grabbing his wrist covered by the wide cuffs.
Lin Xiyan froze, trying to pull back, but was gently held. Jiang Yibai's fingers were warm and dry, and with the strength unique to a young man, he peeled his cold fingertips out of his sleeve bit by bit without any resistance.
"It seems to be warmer," Jiang Yibai pinched his fingertips, lowered his head and looked carefully, as if he was checking some precision instrument, with a slightly frowned brow, "but it's still a little cold." As he spoke, he very naturally took Lin Xiyan's hand into his palm, wrapped it with his hot hands, and rubbed it gently, trying to transfer more heat to it.
The desk provided perfect cover. On it, both of them sat erect, as if absorbed in their morning study. Beneath the desk, his hand was tightly grasped by the other, kneading their fingertips and stroking the back of his hand. Every subtle movement brought a shudder.
Lin Xiyan's heart nearly jumped out of his throat. He nervously glanced toward the podium, then quickly scanned the surrounding classmates, fearing someone would discover the secret under the table. His cheeks burned so intensely that even breathing became difficult.
"Don't..." He tried to pull his hand away, his voice trembling and as thin as a mosquito.
"Hmm?" Jiang Yibai raised his eyes, an innocent look on his face, but his hands didn't stop moving. He even gently scraped his cold knuckles with the tip of his thumb. His tone was matter-of-fact, "I'm warming your hands. Otherwise, how can you do your homework if you get frozen?"
What he said was high-sounding, but his eyes were surprisingly bright, with a sly smile, and it was clear that he had other intentions.
Lin Xiyan was completely exposed under his gaze, and all the strength to resist seemed to be drained away. He pursed his lips, and finally lowered his eyelashes in resignation, letting him do as he pleased. The warmth from his fingertips did indeed dispel the numbness bit by bit, bringing warmth, and even his entire heart felt like it was soaked in warm water, tingling and swelling.
The morning reading class passed in this extremely tense and inexplicably exciting atmosphere.
When the bell rang, Jiang Yibai reluctantly let go of Lin Xiyan's hand. Lin Xiyan immediately slipped her hand back into her sleeve, but the feeling of heat and strength still lingered on her fingertips.
"I'll get some hot water." Jiang Yibai stood up and picked up the thermos cup on Lin Xiyan's desk very naturally - that was the one he insisted on giving her in the morning, saying something old-fashioned but practical like "drink more hot water".
He returned quickly, steam rising from the cup. He unscrewed the lid, blew on it, and then handed it to Lin Xiyan: "Be careful, it's hot."
Lin Xiyan looked at the glass of water, then at Jiang Yibai's expectant eyes. She silently took it and sipped it. The warm water flowed down her throat, and the warmth spread to every part of her body.
The first class was math. The teacher spoke very quickly and filled the blackboard with writing.
Lin Xiyan listened intently, taking notes rapidly. Halfway through, his pen suddenly ran out of ink. He paused, put the pen down, and went to his pencil case to find a replacement.
A bony hand beside him had already handed over a black signing pen, the barrel still tinged with the warmth of the other person's palm.
Lin Xiyan was stunned for a moment, took it, and whispered "thank you".
Jiang Yibai didn't say anything, just propped up his chin, tilted his head to look at him, his mouth curved. His gaze was so focused, so undisguised, that it burned Lin Xiyan so much that he didn't dare to look back. He could only stare at the blackboard, pretending not to feel it.
However, Jiang Yibai's little tricks go far beyond this.
Lin Xiyan had run out of draft paper. Just as she put down the ruler, a stack of brand new draft paper with dark patterns printed on it was pushed over to her.
He was distracted for a moment, looking at the falling snow outside the window. The next second, a small piece of paper was quietly slipped into his hand. On it was a picture of an ugly, cute smiley face, and next to it was written: [It’s better to look at me than at the snow^_^]
Lin Xiyan's fingertips trembled, as if burned by the smiling face. She hurriedly clutched the note in her palm, her ears red.
Jiang Yibai looked at him, who was flustered but trying to pretend to be calm, and the smile on his face deepened. As if to have succeeded, he gently touched his knee with his knee under the table.
Lin Xiyan's body suddenly stiffened, as if a needle had been pressed on her bloodstream, and she dared not move. The touch was instantaneous, but it left a clear, heart-pounding aftermath.
For the entire class, he was unsettled by this meticulous and persistent "harassment." Every seemingly casual offer of help, every small gesture, felt like a feather gently scratching the softest part of his heart. He couldn't resist it, but he couldn't ignore it either.
The bell finally saved him.
Lin Xiyan stood up almost immediately, wanting to escape this suffocating, sweet circle. "I'm going to the bathroom." His voice was a little dry.
"Oh," Jiang Yibai also stood up and said naturally, "Together."
Lin Xiyan: “…”
The two walked out of the classroom one after the other. The corridor was crowded, and Jiang Yibai didn't do anything out of the ordinary. He just walked beside him, occasionally turning his head to glance at him, his eyes seemingly glued to him.
When returning from the bathroom and approaching the back door of the classroom, Lin Xiyan, who was walking in front, suddenly felt a warmth on his neck.
He turned around in surprise.
Jiang Yibai was just about to withdraw his hand from the back of his neck, his fingertips seemingly brushing against his sensitive skin. He looked calm, as if he was just casually brushing off a snowflake: "There's something."
There's clearly nothing there.
Lin Xiyan looked at him lying with his eyes open, and his cheeks couldn't help but heat up. He turned back quickly and quickened his pace to get into the classroom.
After sitting down again, the skin on the back of my neck where my fingertips had touched was still slightly hot, as if an invisible mark had been left.
During the second period, the snow stopped and the sun shone through the glass window, falling on the desk where they sat side by side.
Jiang Yibai yawned like a large cat that was lazy in the sun, then tilted his head very naturally and leaned on Lin Xiyan's shoulder.
The weight suddenly came down, bringing with it the soft and fluffy touch of the sweater and the warm body temperature.
Lin Xiyan's back instantly straightened, and his fingers gripping the pen tightened, his knuckles turning white. In broad daylight, with so many classmates in the classroom...how could he dare?
He tried to push him away, his shoulders moving slightly.
The person leaning on his shoulder made a vague murmur, like an unconscious murmur, and rubbed his head against his shoulder, finding a more comfortable position. He even reached out his hand and put his arm around his arm, hugging him tightly.
"I'm sleepy..." His voice was unclear, full of sleepiness and a hint of coquettishness, "Let me lean on you for ten minutes... Just ten minutes..."
His breath evenly sprayed on the side of Lin Xiyan's neck, warm and numb. She hung on him like a koala, dependent and domineering.
Lin Xiyan's body was as stiff as a stone, his heart beating like a drum. He could feel the curious glances from those around him, and he could hear Lu Panji's suppressed laughter in the back row.
Shame almost overwhelmed him.
But… the heavy weight on my shoulders, the warm breath on my neck, the feeling of my arms being tightly embraced… brought a strange and unfamiliar sense of security.
Like being needed. Like being firmly anchored in this world.
He raised his eyes and looked at the bright sunlight outside the window, then lowered his head and looked at Jiang Yibai's furry hair and peaceful sleeping face. The strength he had to push him away eventually disappeared without a trace.
He sighed very softly, relaxed his body slightly, and adjusted his sitting position to make it more comfortable. Then, he picked up his pen again and looked at the exercise book.
But the tip of the pen did not fall for a long time.
The sun enveloped them in warmth. The classroom was still noisy, but it seemed as if there was a transparent barrier separating them.
Lin Xiyan sat stiffly, feeling the steady breathing and warm dependence of the person next to him. The frozen wasteland in his heart seemed to be warmed and solidified inch by inch by the winter sunshine and the weight on his shoulders.
It turns out this is what it feels like to be completely dependent on and needed by someone.
It seemed as if... the whole world had become less empty.
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