psychology
The final bell for the final exam rang, bringing a pause to my entire high school life. There was no ecstasy or catharsis as I'd imagined, but rather a sense of exhaustion and emptiness after the dust had settled.
The classroom suddenly became noisy, with desks and chairs clattering, cheers, sighs, and the sounds of people checking answers intertwined like a pot of boiling water. Lin Xiyan slowly put down his pen, feeling his fingertips slightly numb from the prolonged strain. He looked at the filled answer sheet, feeling empty inside, like a boat that has finally reached shore, but for a moment, unsure where to go next.
The application process took place in a classroom a few days later. A complex mixture of anticipation, anxiety, and a sense of separation hung in the air. The sun was shining brightly, just like the autumn they had arrived in three years earlier.
Lin Xiyan held the mouse, the cursor hovering over the name of the profession he'd carefully considered—"psychiatry." Without hesitation, he clicked "confirm." This was a goal he'd silently set long ago. He wanted to embrace those struggling in the darkness like himself, with the understanding and warmth he'd longed for but never received. He wanted to be a glimmer of light, like the one that had once shone into his life.
He subconsciously turned his head and looked at Jiang Yibai beside him.
Jiang Yibai was quicker than him, seemingly having made his decision long beforehand. On the screen was a completely different field—"photography." It wasn't the business or finance his family had hoped for, nor was it the science and engineering he excelled at.
Lin Xiyan was stunned. He remembered the promise to attend the same university. With Jiang Yibai's grades, he could have chosen any of the top comprehensive universities in China, which naturally had excellent psychology departments. But he chose photography? A very specific art major that sounded almost unrelated to "the same university."
A mixture of surprise, confusion, and a faint sense of unease washed over him. He thought... Jiang Yibai would choose a school where he could be with them, even if it wasn't the same major.
Could it be that... he no longer cares about that agreement?
Lu Panji and He Yunling also came over and were shocked when they saw Jiang Yibai's volunteer application on the screen.
"What the hell? Brother Jiang? Photography?!" Lu Panji's eyes widened. "Did you fill it in correctly? What about the MIT Junior Class? What about inheriting the family business?"
He Yunling also pushed his glasses up, unable to hide his surprise: "This... the gap is quite large."
Jiang Yibai ignored their shouting and calmly clicked "Submit." Then he turned and looked at Lin Xiyan. His purple eyes were calm, as if he had anticipated their reaction.
Lin Xiyan looked at his calm face, and the uneasiness in his heart spread quietly like a vine. He pursed his lips and asked the question that was lingering in his heart in a very soft voice with an imperceptible tremor:
"Then... aren't you angry?" He paused, his fingers unconsciously scratching the edge of the table. "We agreed... to go to the same university."
After he finished speaking, he lowered his head, not daring to look Jiang Yibai in the eye. It was as if he had "betrayed" the agreement first and chosen another path.
Lu Panji and He Yunling fell silent instantly, their eyes darting back and forth between the two of them, with an expression that said, "Here it comes, it starts again!"
Jiang Yibai looked at Lin Xiyan's lowered head and slightly tense shoulders, and was silent for a few seconds. The classroom was very noisy, but their little corner seemed to have been mute.
Then, Lin Xiyan heard Jiang Yibai speak. His voice was not loud, but it clearly penetrated the surrounding noise, with his unique, factual certainty:
"Who says we have to be in the same school to be together?"
Lin Xiyan suddenly raised her head and met Jiang Yibai's deep eyes.
Jiang Yibai leaned slightly closer to him, so close that Lin Xiyan could clearly see his long eyelashes and his own small reflection in his pupils. His tone remained flat, but every word struck Lin Xiyan's heart:
"You study psychology to illuminate the dark path others have walked."
He paused, his gaze fell on Lin Xiyan's somewhat dazed eyes, and continued calmly:
"I studied photography to capture all the light in your eyes."
"We were walking the same path."
Lin Xiyan's breathing suddenly stopped, and his heart felt like it had been hit hard, aching yet burning. He looked at Jiang Yibai, his violet eyes, which always carried a hint of coldness, now clearly reflecting his appearance, filled with unquestionable seriousness and a kind of almost gentle certainty.
It turns out... he wasn't going to separate. He was simply adopting a different approach, using his camera to participate in and document the "healing" path he had chosen. What he wanted to record was the light in his eyes, the way he illuminated others.
This is more serious and more romantic than the agreement of "being in the same university".
Lu Panji clutched his chest and took a deep breath, then whispered to He Yunling, "It's over... The damage is too strong... I can't handle it..."
He Yunling silently took out his cell phone and pretended to be busy, but the corners of his mouth couldn't help but rise.
Jiang Yibai completely ignored the two background boards next to him. He looked at Lin Xiyan's slightly red eyes and lips slightly opened in surprise, and suddenly reached out and rubbed his cheek lightly with his knuckles.
The movements were quick, and they separated instantly, with a hint of soothing.
"Don't let your imagination run wild." He withdrew his hand, his tone returning to his usual simplicity. "Fill it and leave. I'm hungry."
As he spoke, he stood up and closed the application guide spread out on Lin Xiyan's desk. His movements were so natural, as if he was just packing up his things.
Lin Xiyan was still immersed in the huge shock brought by the previous sentence, staring at him blankly.
Jiang Yibai took two steps and found that the person had not caught up with him. He stopped and looked back at him with a raised brow: "Not leaving?"
"...Let's go." Lin Xiyan finally reacted, stood up hurriedly and followed.
Lu Panji and He Yunling immediately followed happily.
"Brother Jiang! Please explain! Who did you learn these sweet words from? Sign up for a class! I want to learn too!" Lu Panji shouted from behind.
Jiang Yibai didn't even turn his head, just threw two words at him: "Shut up."
He Yunling smiled and shook his head, saying to the still dazed Lin Xiyan, "Don't mind him, that's just how he is. He knows everything in his mind, but he's too lazy to say it. He really performed exceptionally well today."
Lin Xiyan looked at Jiang Yibai's tall figure in front of him. The sunlight filtered through the corridor windows, casting a golden outline around him. The haze in his heart caused by the different aspirations was completely dispelled by Jiang Yibai's simple yet weighty words.
Yes, who says that being together means we have to be in the same place all the time and walk exactly the same path?
He wants to be a glimmer of light that illuminates others.
And Jiang Yibai chose to be the one who recorded the light.
They are still on each other's track, closely connected in another way, and moving forward side by side.
This has a deeper meaning than simply being "together".
Walking out of the teaching building, the scorching sun hit her face. Lin Xiyan squinted her eyes, looking at Jiang Yibai's back in front of her, and suddenly quickened her pace, jogging to catch up with him, walking side by side with him.
Jiang Yibai glanced at him sideways without saying anything, but his pace slowed down slightly almost imperceptibly.
Lu Panji and He Yunling looked at the two figures standing very close to each other in front of them, glanced at each other, and saw the same emotion in each other's eyes.
"Okay, from now on I have to eat dog food from other disciplines." Lu Panji concluded his speech.
He Yunling pushed up his glasses, looked at the figures in the sunlight, and said softly, "It's fine."
Really, it’s pretty good.
The answer sheet of youth has been submitted, and the blueprint for the future is unfolding.
Some agreements have long transcended form and distance and have been integrated into every path forward chosen by each other.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
