Water collection
Time seemed to have been fast-forwarded, and in a flash I was in my third year of high school.
The air seemed to be filled with the heavy smell of test papers and chalk dust. The countdown numbers at the back of the classroom were getting smaller and smaller, making people feel nervous.
Although Lin Xiyan and Jiang Yibai still lived under the same roof, it felt like they hadn't had a proper conversation in ages. It wasn't that they didn't want to, it was that they didn't have the time.
The two rooms were separated by a wall. Before, the wall seemed nonexistent; Jiang Yibai would always find excuses to sneak over and stick around for a while. Now, the wall had become incredibly real.
Most of the time, the only sounds on either side of the wall were the turning of pages and the rustling of pens across paper. Occasionally, you could hear the movement of a chair next to you, or a very soft, tired sigh.
Lin Xiyan buried himself in a sea of practice questions, repeatedly doing them and sorting out his mistakes. He knew he had to work harder. Scholarships, a good university, a promising future... these all lashed at him like a whip, making him afraid to stop.
He knew very well that the pressure Jiang Yibai faced would only increase. The aura of being the top student in the class, the expectations of his family, and the early admissions to those top universities... Jiang Yibai's time was more precious than his.
So, when Jiang Yibai's room light often burned on until late at night, Lin Xiyan would quietly dim her own lamp and continue writing. When the two occasionally ran into each other in the hallway or kitchen, they would simply exchange a quick glance, say "Go to bed early" or "Remember to eat," and then return to their respective desks.
He felt this was the way it should be. This was how senior year of high school should be. Jiang Yibai was a dazzling star in the sky, with a wider sky to soar to. He couldn't always revolve around a dull little stone like him. All he could do was not disturb him and try to keep up, even if it was just to shorten the distance.
That evening, Lin Xiyan was once again stuck on a physics problem. Her thoughts seemed to be stuck in a knot, unable to untie it. The more anxious she became, the more her mind went blank. Beyond the wall, it was quiet; Jiang Yibai was probably also concentrating on his studies.
He stared at the question for a long time, until his eyes began to feel sore. The familiar doubt and frustration about his own abilities slowly surged up like an icy tide, about to overwhelm him.
He put down his pen, rubbed his temples exhaustedly, and felt a dull pain in his stomach. Then he remembered that he seemed to have only eaten a few mouthfuls of food that night.
Forget it, let’s go get a cup of hot water first.
He gently pushed the chair aside, trying not to make any noise, opened the door and walked out.
The living room was completely dark, with only a sliver of light coming from under Jiang Yibai's door. He tiptoed past, intending to go to the kitchen.
Suddenly, the door next door opened.
Jiang Yibai stood at the door, holding an empty water cup, looking like he had come out to get some water. He was wearing loose home clothes, his hair was a little messy, and there was a clear look of fatigue in his eyes, but when he saw Lin Xiyan, his purple eyes instantly focused and lit up.
"Are you still awake?" They both spoke almost at the same time, their voices low and hoarse.
After saying this, everyone was stunned.
Jiang Yibai reacted first and took a few steps closer. With the light coming from the room, he looked carefully at Lin Xiyan's face, frowning slightly. "Why is your face so pale? Is your stomach hurting again?"
Lin Xiyan subconsciously wanted to deny it, but under his insightful gaze, she nodded slightly: "...a little bit."
"Didn't you eat well again tonight?" Jiang Yibai's tone became a little heavier, with a hint of disapproval.
"...I forgot." Lin Xiyan lowered his head.
Jiang Yibai sighed and said nothing more. He reached out and naturally pulled his wrist, which was icy cold. His brows furrowed even more and he pulled Lin Xiyan towards the kitchen. "Wait."
He pressed Lin Xiyan onto the kitchen chair, turned on the light, and took out the millet from the cupboard, then dug out the brown sugar ginger. He boiled water and washed the rice, his movements smooth and unmistakable.
The kitchen was soon filled with the warm aroma of millet porridge and ginger candy.
Lin Xiyan sat quietly in a chair, watching Jiang Yibai's back as he busied himself at the stove. The light highlighted his shoulders and back, making him look a little thinner. Everyone had lost weight since their senior year of high school.
He felt a little bittersweet. Jiang Yibai was obviously more tired and under greater pressure, yet he still had to distract himself to take care of him.
"Actually... I can do it myself." He said quietly.
Jiang Yibai didn't look back, concentrating on watching the porridge bubbling in the pot: "Look at your questions. I'll be done soon."
The porridge was cooked quickly. Jiang Yibai filled a bowl and placed it in front of Lin Xiyan. He then handed him a spoon and said, "Eat it while it's hot."
Then he poured himself a cup of hot water, leaned on the cooking table next to him, drank it in small sips, and looked at Lin Xiyan.
Lin Xiyan lowered her head and ate the porridge in small mouthfuls. The warm porridge slid into her stomach, and she felt much better. Even the cold depression in her heart seemed to be dispelled a little.
Neither of them spoke, and the only sound in the kitchen was Lin Xiyan sipping porridge.
After finishing most of the bowl, Lin Xiyan felt much better. He put down his spoon and looked up, only to find Jiang Yibai still leaning over and looking at him. There was fatigue in his eyes, but more of a deep emotion that he couldn't quite understand.
"That question," Jiang Yibai suddenly said in a low voice, "how long have you been stuck on it?"
Lin Xiyan was stunned for a moment before realizing that he was asking about the physics problem he had been struggling with. He was a little surprised: "How... did you know?"
Jiang Yibai pointed to his ear. "You weren't turning the pages at the right frequency. Then there was no sound, the pen didn't move, and your breathing became heavier." He paused. "The kind of irritability."
Lin Xiyan was completely stunned. He thought Jiang Yibai was completely immersed in his own world, but he didn't expect that... he could hear even the slightest movement of his own clearly.
An indescribable heat suddenly rushed into his nose and eye sockets. He hurriedly lowered his head and scratched the edge of the bowl with his fingers.
It turns out...even though there was a wall between them, he wasn't alone either.
Jiang Yibai put down his water cup, walked over to him, and gently touched the back of his neck with his fingers. The skin there was taut. "Which question? Let me see."
His tone was so natural, so matter-of-fact, as if it was just a trivial matter, as if there had never been any estrangement or estrangement between them.
Lin Xiyan sniffed and said in a muffled voice: "...It's very late. You still have a lot of things to do..."
"It won't take a moment." Jiang Yibai interrupted him, pressing his fingers lightly on the back of his neck with a soothing force, "Give it to me. Or I can go to your room."
In the end, Lin Xiyan took the thick exercise book.
Jiang Yibai glanced at the question in the kitchen light, picked up the pen Lin Xiyan had placed beside him, and began to write quickly on the draft paper. His thoughts were clear and the steps were concise.
"Here, the auxiliary line is wrong. This point should be connected." He wrote and spoke in a low voice and steady pace. "This model was the last variation of the fill-in-the-blank question in the mock exam last week. Did you forget?"
Lin Xiyan looked at his profile, listened to his deep voice, and her tangled thoughts began to unravel bit by bit. Her stomach felt warm, and a corner of her heart seemed to be filled with the light and sound.
After explaining the question, Jiang Yibai put down his pen and looked at Lin Xiyan: "Do you understand?"
"...I understand." Lin Xiyan nodded.
"Don't force yourself if you get stuck next time." Jiang Yibai looked at him seriously, "Knock down the wall, or just come over here. Do you hear me?"
Lin Xiyan's heart felt like it had been gently bumped. He raised his eyes and met Jiang Yibai's. There was no impatience in them, no annoyance at being delayed, only clear concern and a calm, "I'm right here" tone.
"...Won't it bother you?" He said in a soft voice, uncertain.
Jiang Yibai seemed to be stumped by this question. He looked at Lin Xiyan silently for a few seconds, then suddenly reached out and rubbed his hair. His movements were a bit heavy, with a bit of helpless intimacy.
"Idiot." He whispered, his tone lacking any blame, but rather a hint of...distress? "When did I ever consider your business a bother?"
He withdrew his hand, picked up the bowls and spoons they had used, and walked to the sink to rinse them. His back still looked a little tired, but extremely reliable.
"That's just how senior year is. Busy, tiring, that's normal." His voice came over the sound of rushing water, still flat, but with a calming power. "But don't force yourself to handle it. Got it?"
Lin Xiyan looked at his back, then lowered her head to look at the clear and fluent problem-solving steps on the draft paper. The ice in her heart, which had been frozen by pressure and loneliness, seemed to crack with a click, and a warm crack appeared.
It turns out that even if there is a wall between us and even if we are all busy, some things never change.
He said "hmm" very softly.
The voice was small, but firm.
The night outside the window is still dark, but the light in the kitchen is warm enough to illuminate the way forward.
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