Chapter 52
When Lu Bai woke up, it was already dark. He was confused for a long time before he remembered that he had taken a day off to rest at home because he had a fever.
He had originally thought it wasn't that serious, and that his parents were overdoing it by asking him to take leave and medication. But he hadn't expected that once he touched the pillow, he'd slept all morning until now.
Lu Bai's phone rang appropriately. He opened it and saw it was from Lü Yibo. Lü Yibo greeted Lu Bai and expressed surprise at the fact that "Lu Bai could actually be sick." Lu Bai casually sent a middle-finger emoji back and put the phone down. Just as he was about to lie down for a while, Lü Yibo called again.
He answered the phone, turned on the speakerphone, threw it aside and lay down.
"Hello? Hello, hello, hello?" Lu Yibo's voice was penetrating even through the phone. "Lu Bai? Where's he? Why aren't you talking?"
"You... damn it!" Lu Bai wanted to scold him, but when he opened his mouth, his voice was so hoarse that he scared himself.
"...Fuck, you're really sick?" Lu Yibo was also surprised. "I thought you were pretending to be sick to skip class!"
"You piece of shit." Lu Bai grabbed the water cup on the bedside table and took a few sips. He cleared his throat for a long time before his voice became normal again. "I'm a model student. When have I ever skipped class?"
"Don't pretend, whose model student is last in the English class?"
"I'm no longer the last one, it's all because of my God..."
Lu Bai's voice suddenly died down the receiver. Lu Yibo was busy playing games and couldn't spare a moment to look, so he strained his voice and called out, "What happened to your Tian'er? Talk? Are you sick? Why can't you speak clearly?"
"...It's okay. Are you okay? If not, don't disturb me while I'm resting."
"I can't call you if nothing happens? I'll call you!"
Lu Bai was too lazy to pay attention to him. He turned over and closed his eyes again.
Lu Bai felt so tired. He had slept for almost the entire day, and now that he was awake, his mind still seemed hazy. His memories of the entire day were hazy, and he couldn't even remember his mother waking him up at noon to take medicine. He had thought he'd gone mad from the fever, but when Zhang Xiaotian was mentioned just now, he realized that he was actually clear and remembered everything.
Zhang Xiaotian is going to transfer schools.
He didn't even tell me that he was transferring schools...I'm so worried about him.
Lu Bai thought bitterly and lifted the quilt to cover himself completely.
"What are you doing?" Lu Yibo was busy operating but did not forget to talk to Lu Bai.
"sleep."
"Still sleeping?" Lu Yibo cursed after his crystal was flattened. He stopped fighting and turned to talk to Lu Bai. "What's wrong? Are you still upset? Can you still take the exam in the middle of the month?"
"Please use your brain! The college entrance exam is almost two weeks away!"
"No, big brother, listen to what you're doing now. I'm just worried that you'll recover slowly and affect your condition." Lu Yibo muttered, "You're sick right before the exam. You're really letting me down at the critical moment. I think Zhang Xiaotian hasn't been here for several days either. Is he sick too?"
"That's not why he asked." Lu Bai said listlessly, "Why are you asking him?"
"He's your buddy, so he's not my buddy? Can't I show some concern for him?"
"No! No way!" Lu Bai jumped up and yelled at him into the phone.
"Lu Bai?"
Mother Lu knocked on the door, came in and said to him, "Come out and eat something when you wake up. You still need to take your medicine!"
"I won't talk to you anymore. Bye!" Lu Bai hung up the phone without waiting for Lu Yi Bo to answer, got off the bed and walked out.
Lu Bai left the room and saw his mother sitting at the dining table in her pajamas. The table was set with tableware for one person and several dishes, which were obviously made specially for him.
"Where's my dad?" Lu Bai pulled out a chair and sat down.
"Your dad took on a big job today and is exhausted. He's already asleep." Mother Lu poured Lu Bai a glass of warm water and placed it in front of him. "I thought you'd been sleeping all day and it was time for you to wake up. How are you? Are you feeling better now?"
"Much better, Mom. It wasn't a big deal."
Seeing Lu Bai pick up the bowl, Lu's mother took another pair of chopsticks, sat opposite him, and added a chopstick of food to Lu Bai from time to time.
"That evening, a girl from your class came to give you a letter of commitment. I saw you were sleeping soundly, so I didn't call you."
"oh."
Lu Bai hadn't eaten anything all day, but he still had no appetite. He forced himself to eat a bowl of rice, then put down his bowl and chopsticks and took his medicine.
Seeing that he really couldn't eat any more, Mother Lu didn't ask for anything else.
"Put the dishes in the sink after you finish eating and go to bed early."
She stood up after she finished speaking and patted Lu Bai on the shoulder. Just as she reached the door of the room, Lu Bai called her again.
"Mom, wait a moment."
Hearing this, Mother Lu turned around and looked at him.
Lu Bai's cry was purely subconscious; he didn't actually know why he called out to his mother. He saw his mother looking at him, and suddenly felt like he had so much to say but couldn't. A feeling of grievance surged up from below, rushing straight to his throat, and the circles around his eyes suddenly became hot.
"Hey, why are you crying again?" Mother Lu was startled and hurried over. "What's wrong, son? What happened?"
"No, ouch, it's okay!"
Lu Bai raised his hand to wipe his tears, but the more he wiped, the more tears came. He stood up hurriedly and ran into the house. Mother Lu, worried about him, followed him.
Mother Lu closed the door gently, turned around and saw Lu Bai sitting on the bed, frantically covering his eyes with a tissue. She sat next to him and took out a tissue to help him wipe his eyes.
"What's wrong, son? Why are you crying for no reason?"
"It's okay, Mom. It's nothing serious." Lu Bai's nose was blocked from crying, and it looked more like he had a cold. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I suddenly... Maybe I've been under a lot of pressure lately."
"Why are you stressed out again?" Mother Lu was a little surprised. Her son had always been a big-hearted person, but this was the first time she'd heard the word "stressed" from him. Unable to contain her heartache, she reached out and touched Lu Bai's head.
"Take a break when you're stressed out. Nothing can be accomplished overnight."
Lu Bai's eyes were red.
"I thought you were going to say, 'Oh, you also know stress?'"
"You little ungrateful wolf!" Mother Lu twisted Lu Bai's ear fiercely after hearing this. "It's all in vain that I care about you!"
"Hehe..." Lu Bai laughed foolishly.
"So, you still don't plan to tell your mother?" Mother Lu asked when she saw him smiling again.
"Nothing, really."
Lu Bai sniffed, supported his arms behind his back, and looked up at the ceiling.
"I just suddenly realized that not everything will develop in the direction I want. This sentence is actually true. No matter how much I hope, it will not be as I wish."
"Yeah, there's no such thing as everything going as planned." Mother Lu also sighed along with his words.
"Then what should I do?"
Lu Bai felt a little jealous when he said this. He raised his arm to cover his eyes. "It's too sudden... and I feel like nothing I do is useful."
"Some things can't be forced." Mother Lu looked at him.
"Is there no other way? If this turns out to be something I don't want, is there nothing I can do?"
"Do your best and leave the rest to fate, Lu Bai."
Mother Lu touched Lu Bai's face and said, "Although some things may go in a direction you don't want, there may be unspeakable reasons, or it may be that fate has not yet arrived. You have done your best, so don't be too harsh on it. I believe that it is not that you didn't fight for it, but it's a pity that it didn't go as you wished."
"Should I believe it?" Lu Bai's voice was muffled from beneath his sleeve. "But I've discovered that I don't really understand what he's thinking."
"Try your best to do what you can." The bedroom was pitch black, but Lu's mother's eyes were full of light. "The most important thing is not the result, but not to regret it."
After resting for the whole weekend, Lu Bai was almost recovered when he came to school on Monday, but he still looked a little weak.
The college entrance exams are approaching, a major graduation event after all. Even the main subject teachers are giving way to the upcoming exams. Whether in regular classes or experimental classes, the school is a race against time. Arts students slog through physics and chemistry, while science students memorize politics, history, and geography. Students learn to the point of losing sight of the world, while teachers teach with the podium as their only home. Even Lu Yibo is diligently preparing for the exams, risking his image to the point of ruin. Only Lu Bai's style is different.
"I feel like Lu Bai hasn't been feeling well these past two days." Yin Li went to get some water after class. "Why does he seem so lifeless?"
Han Chengcheng was also holding a water cup. Upon hearing this, she turned around and looked at Lu Bai.
In fact, at first glance, Lu Bai looked no different from usual. In addition, everyone was focused on studying and no one was playing around in the class anymore, so people who were not familiar with Lu Bai really couldn't tell anything.
"Even if there was an exam the next day, Lu Bai would always make some noise in class, saying things like we need to relax before the test."
There were too many people waiting to get water, so Yin Li and Han Chengcheng stood side by side in line. Seeing that Han Chengcheng was listening to her, she continued, "During the evening study session before the final exam last semester, he was listening to music and reading novels. Do you remember?"
Han Chengcheng also remembered and nodded with a smile.
"I remember he was sitting at the same table with Xiaotian back then." Yin Li also laughed. "It would have been fine if he just listened by himself, but he even forced Xiaotian to listen with him. He wasn't happy when Xiaotian refused to listen, and they ended up arguing so much that they almost got caught by the teacher who was supervising the study session!"
After saying that, Yin Li couldn't stop laughing.
Han Chengcheng laughed along, and as she laughed, she couldn't laugh anymore. The scene of her talking to Zhang Xiaotian that night seemed to be right in front of her. She hadn't told Lu Bai about it until now, not only because she hadn't found the right time, but also because she couldn't explain to Lu Bai why Zhang Xiaotian didn't contact him but met with her through the window.
Seeing that the break was about to end and the two of them still hadn't connected to the water, Yin Li couldn't wait any longer and simply dragged Han Chengcheng back. Because they had just mentioned Lu Bai, the two of them went back to the class and even went to Lu Bai's side.
When Lu Bai saw the two of them coming, he didn't react much, just raised his eyes symbolically.
"Look, look, Chengcheng!"
Yin Lila pulled Han Chengcheng: "This is definitely not right! In the past, he would have at least given us the middle finger for a full minute!"
"I didn't provoke you, but you're still not happy?"
Lu Bai flipped a page in the book in his hand. "You definitely have a mental problem, Yin Li. Go get treatment."
Yin Li nodded.
"You still know how to insult me. It seems that you are not that abnormal."
"You're crazy." Lu Bai waved his hand, "Go back to your seats and don't disturb me while I'm studying."
"Hey, Lu Bai." Yin Li stood still. "You said in the group chat that day that you wanted to ask Lao Zhang about Xiaotian. Did you ask?"
"I won't tell you."
"Hey! Are you the only one worried about Xiaotian?" Yin Li hit him on the forehead and hit him hard, making Lu Bai cover his head and howl for a long time. "Hurry up and tell me, class will start soon!"
After urging her, Yin Li wanted to pull Lu Bai's hair, which frightened Lu Bai so much that he didn't even cover his forehead, but covered his entire head instead.
"I'm telling you, I'm telling you, stop it!"
Lu Bai said a little unhappy: "Tian'er is going to transfer schools."
"Ah? This skill?" Yin Li asked, "Could it be that they are college entrance examination immigrants..."
"You're kidding! The education level here is already poor enough."
"Then why..."
The class bell rang at this time. Yin Li wanted to ask more, but Lu Bai waved at her.
"Lao Zhang didn't tell me the details, let's go back."
However, this question did not bother Yin Li for too long, as Lao Zhang answered her in front of the whole class in the afternoon.
"Your exam rooms have been assigned. The exam is on Thursday. Li An, you will lead the team to set up the exam room on Wednesday afternoon. Take away any of your school belongings that you can take home as soon as possible to avoid throwing things around on exam day. If you lose something, there will be no one to help you find it. Li An, come here and get the exam room assignment sheet for our class."
Lao Zhang took out an A4 paper and scanned the class while waiting for Li An to come over. He then pointed at Zhang Xiaotian's seat.
"Whoever has time can help Zhang Xiaotian pack his things first. I'll ask him to pick them up before the exam."
"Brother Zhang, I just noticed it now that you mentioned it," Li An leaned against the podium like a boneless person, pointing at the table and asking, "Why isn't Zhang Xiaotian's name on it?"
"Zhang Xiaotian won't take the exam this time." Old Zhang was always more patient with Li An. "He's transferring. He'll take the make-up exam when he's in his third year of high school at his new school."
The students below were talking about it.
Li An strolled back with the paper and waved it in front of Lu Bai.
"Didn't you say he would be the first to tell you if he changed schools?"
Then I knew it before you.
Lu Bai turned his head away, ignoring Li An's harassment and starting to think about new things.
Just now, Lao Zhang said that Tian'er would come to pick up the things he left at school, so he must come to the school. Taking this opportunity, maybe he can see him. Even if it's not him who comes, but his mother or his secretary, Lu Bai thinks he can also take this opportunity to ask about Tian'er's situation.
Should I write a letter or something? If I can't see Tian'er, I can ask someone to bring it to him.
Lu Bai immediately opened a new page in his notebook, took off the pen cap, wrote the two words "Tian'er" at the beginning, and then could not write any further.
If we could meet again...
"Li An, Li An!" While Lao Zhang turned around to write on the blackboard, Lu Bai whispered to Li An, "Go tell Lao Zhang that you want to contact Zhang Xiaotian for him."
"Why contact Zhang Xiaotian?" Li An was a little confused.
"Contact him to come back to school to pick it up!" Lu Bai said again, "Just tell him that it's inconvenient during class time. Ask him to come back during morning self-study so it won't affect his classmates."
Li An uttered a "tsk". "No, did I promise you?"
"Last time you were blocked by Wen Gou and the others, who came to your rescue?" Lu Bai imitated him and made a "tsk" sound. "We rescued you twice!"
"I asked you two to save..."
"Lu Bai and Li An, I'm giving you face, right?" Old Zhang threw the textbook onto the podium. "If you two keep making such noises, get out of class!"
Zhang Xiaotian's last secret phone call to Han Chengcheng was discovered by his mother. Since then, Zhang Xiaotian has never touched a cell phone again. Even when Li An told him to go to school to pick up something, it was his mother who saw it and told him.
"I wanted to ask Secretary Wang to get it for you, but the company has something going on this week."
Zhang's mother has been extremely busy lately, but she still has time to check the surveillance cameras at home. She said to Zhang Xiaotian, "You'd better be home within half an hour and stop trying to trick me."
Zhang Xiaotian didn't say anything.
"Don't think I don't know what you're thinking." Mother Zhang couldn't stand his attitude. "You even agreed to transfer schools to prevent me from finding his family. How great! But does he know you've done so much for him?"
"I don't know why you're even saying this."
Zhang Xiaotian looked at his mother blankly: "Except for going abroad with you, I have agreed to all your requests. I don't know why you still treat me like this."
Mother Zhang's eyes were cold.
"You can't just rely on your youth to act on your own. Sooner or later, you'll realize how wrong your choice was."
She took the coat off the hanger and put it on. Before leaving, she pointed at Zhang Xiaotian with her handbag.
"When we get to the new school, you'll have to keep your tail between your legs. Once you finish the college entrance exam, I'll do as you wish and stop caring about anything else. From now on, I'll just pretend you're not my son!"
"Thank you." Zhang Xiaotian didn't say a single word.
He was notified to go to morning self-study, but Zhang Xiaotian arrived forty minutes earlier.
When he arrived at the school gate, it seemed to have only recently opened. Normally, when all the students were present, the campus would be nothing more than a backdrop. But now, with no one around, Zhang Xiaotian slowly walked among these half-new, half-old buildings, feeling a faint sense of melancholy.
The crumbling plastic track, the small shop next to the toilet, the grove where couples frequently hang out, and the teaching building. Even though he changed classes once in the middle, he has stayed in this place for two years. What's more, this place now has a different meaning to him.
Only when he stood at the door of Class 1 did Zhang Xiaotian finally realize he was about to leave. Thinking that this would be his last time walking through this door, he lost even the courage to push it open. It felt as if if he didn't push the door, he would be able to walk into this classroom and study with his classmates normally the next day.
It wasn't until he heard footsteps on the stairwell behind him that Zhang Xiaotian remembered that his mother didn't have much time left. Zhang Xiaotian didn't want to be seen here, so he gritted his teeth and pushed open the door, intending to go in and hide. But before he could even take a step inside, he bumped into Lu Bai, who was guarding the door.
"you!"
Zhang Xiaotian was so shocked that he even forgot to push him away. When he came to his senses, Lu Bai half-hugged him and brought him into the classroom.
"I've been waiting for you for a long time. I just saw you from the window, wandering around downstairs, and you didn't come up for a long time."
Lu Bai closed the door carefully, turned around and looked at Zhang Xiaotian. After looking at him for a long time, he uttered a word.
"It's so hard to see you."
Zhang Xiaotian didn't know how to answer him. He came so early because he wanted to avoid Lu Bai. Who knew Lu Bai would come so early too?
"Surprised? I've been getting up early for days straight just to catch you." A familiar expression flashed across Lu Bai's face, leaving only an unfamiliar loneliness. "Old Zhang originally said he wanted to contact you, but I specifically asked Li An to take the job. And if it was Li An who told you, you probably wouldn't have guessed it was me."
"Li An, is he actually willing to listen to you?" Zhang Xiaotian asked him.
Speaking of this, Lu Bai shook his head a little proudly. "Did you forget? He still owes us a favor."
All the cleverness is wasted on such useless things.
Zhang Xiaotian wanted to laugh, but was afraid it would look too ugly, so he sighed. It had only been a week, but he felt like he hadn't heard Lu Bai's voice so clearly. In the past, whenever he thought of Lu Bai, his mind was filled with his various smiles, but now, all he could remember were their rather awkward appearances.
Lu Bai begging him to answer the phone on the phone, Lu Bai with a choked voice in the receiver, Lu Bai leaning against the window calling his name, he thought about it all night long, until his thoughts almost overwrote all his previous memories, and when he mentioned Lu Bai, fear came faster than the longing.
But now that he saw Lu Bai, he found that he still missed him more.
"I..."
"I won't ask anything." Before Zhang Xiaotian could say anything, Lu Bai spoke first, "Although I really want to know, if you don't tell me, I won't ask."
Lu Bai tentatively approached Zhang Xiaotian until he was close enough to catch him, then he stopped.
"I don't know why you're leaving so suddenly, and I don't know why you didn't tell me first, didn't see me, and didn't reply to my messages. But I know you... must have a reason." Lu Bai took a deep breath, "I just want to say that transferring schools is not a big deal. When you get there, we can still keep in touch. We agreed to keep in touch when we get to college, right?"
"Shit..." Lu Bai suddenly covered his eyes and sniffed, "Don't think too much, I just... I'm fine, really."
Zhang Xiaotian looked at Lu Bai. He hadn't expected that this short year would be so important not only to him but also to Lu Bai. But he couldn't help it. He didn't have the energy or the confidence to let Lu Bai wait for him for a year without any contact. He wasn't that valuable to Lu Bai.
Maybe a complete disconnection is the right thing to do.
"When you get there, tell me if you have anything..."
"Lu Bai, there are some things I have always wanted to tell you."
Zhang Xiaotian avoided Lu Bai's eyes.
"Over the past year, you've been the closest person to me in the class. You've also said that I'm your best friend. I'm really grateful to you."
"I've had few friends since I was a child. I thought having you as a friend would satisfy me, but you've made me... even greedier." It wasn't until today, when Zhang Xiaotian said these words, that he realized his resentment was just as deep. "I can't accept myself like this, but I can't change anything either. If I were still with you, I'd probably keep forcing myself."
"What are you talking about, Tian'er..." Lu Bai was almost out of breath. He suddenly held Zhang Xiaotian's shoulders tightly, "I don't understand what you mean..."
"You don't need to understand, Lu Bai. I'm leaving soon anyway." Zhang Xiaotian looked at the tip of Lu Bai's shoes. "From now on, it may be difficult for us to meet again. I don't want to be just your friend today."
When he came out of the teaching building, Zhang Xiaotian felt that he was ready. No matter what the future held, it would not be worse than today. The only thing he could be thankful for was that he did not look at Lu Bai's face when he said those words today.
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