Chapter 54
Zhang Xiaotian looked at the closed door of the private room, feeling vaguely confused, but before he had time to think about it, he remembered that there was another Lu Bai in the room.
He looked back and saw Lu Bai still picking up food.
Lu Bai held his chopsticks, his eyes wandering. He picked up the food quickly, but he didn't seem to intend to eat a single bite. He piled all the food in the bowl in front of him. In a short while, the bowl was already filled to the point of a small mountain, and it seemed to be about to collapse.
Zhang Xiaotian hurried over and took his chopsticks away.
"If you can't eat, don't play around. You just want to make trouble." He held Lu Bai's hands tightly together. "Be quiet for a while. When Xu Yan and Zhou Bin come back, we'll leave."
Lu Bai let Zhang Xiaotian hold him motionless, not knowing if he had listened or not. He stared at Zhang Xiaotian with blurry eyes, and suddenly laughed foolishly, "Hey? Tian'er, you're here!"
It’s good to drink too much. After drinking too much, he even forgot that they were still in a cold war.
"You must be drunk." Zhang Xiaotian laughed at him. "Come back to me. If I had come now, who would you have bitten just now?"
Lu Bai didn't answer, but just laughed. When he was happy enough, it seemed as if his neck could no longer support his head, and he bumped into Zhang Xiaotian's shoulder, making Zhang Xiaotian hiss.
It looks like this shoulder will be blue tomorrow too.
"If you want to kowtow to me, kowtow to the ground." Zhang Xiaotian tilted his head to look at Lu Bai's face, "You are committing intentional harm."
"I've been waiting for you for a long time..." Lu Bai muttered to himself, "Why did you come just now...it's already cold..."
"Yeah, it's cold, so let's not eat it, okay?"
Zhang Xiaotian was afraid that Lu Bai would move around and dirty his clothes again, so he stretched out one hand and tried to push the dishes piled on the table away. However, when he was halfway there, Lu Bai stopped him and put his hand in his arms.
"Don't move! Put it there!" Lu Bai muttered, "My Tian'er hasn't eaten yet..."
Thank you. I can’t even recognize you now, but you still remembered to save food for me.
Looking at Lu Bai's red face from the alcohol, Zhang Xiaotian was speechless for a long time. It would probably be a problem to get him back to the dormitory at this moment.
"Tian'er, Tian'er, you're so sweet right now." Subconsciously pushing his shoulders over, Zhang Xiaotian let out a long sigh. "If I remember correctly, you didn't even glance at me during the day. Lu Bai, you're quite heartless."
Even on the day we met again, I couldn't bear not to talk to him.
Lu Bai seemed not to hear, and just kept humming, nudging Zhang Xiaotian's neck like a puppy. After searching for a long time, he couldn't find a comfortable position. Finally, he hummed in a bad mood, leaned back and didn't move, but still held Zhang Xiaotian's arm tightly and didn't let go.
Zhang Xiaotian let him stay close to him and even breathed more gently.
It hadn't been pleasant to keep a distance from Lu Bai these past few days. Zhang Xiaotian's plan had been to distance himself from Lu Bai little by little, so that it wouldn't be so hard on Lu Bai and wouldn't be so cruel to him either. However, things had changed suddenly, and he had no choice but to seize the opportunity.
Even though he knew this day would come, the pain was still there. It was completely different from not being able to see anyone before, and it could even be said to be more painful. Zhang Xiaotian felt a little uneasy. He had finally managed to get through so many days, but now his efforts had failed. How would he face Lu Bai tomorrow?
The phone rang. Zhang Xiaotian coaxed Lu Bai to let go of one hand and pick it up. It was a message from Xu Yan:
Xiaotian, I have settled the bill. Zhou Bin insisted on going to see his girlfriend, so I accompanied him.
Zhang Xiaotian checked the time. It was 11:20. By the time he carried Lu Bai back home, the dormitory building would be closed.
Looking at Lu Bai who was still talking nonsense beside him, Zhang Xiaotian decided to take him to a hotel to sleep for one night.
After dragging and pulling Lu Bai all the way, Zhang Xiaotian was exhausted. As soon as he arrived at the hotel, he threw Lu Bai onto the bed. He didn't even bother to check if the towels were clean. He washed two and wiped Lu Bai's face. He also helped him take off his shoes and coat and tucked him in. After all the work, Zhang Xiaotian was nearly exhausted, but when he looked down, Lu Bai was still sleeping soundly.
Damn it. Zhang Xiaotian cursed inwardly, unable to bear the sweat all over his body, and turned around and went into the bathroom.
It was not until the hot water hit his body that Zhang Xiaotian felt his sanity gradually returning. His brain started to work, automatically thinking about how to face Lu Bai tomorrow.
Zhang Xiaotian was so busy carrying people on his back just now that he just realized it. He hadn't even considered how to explain to Lu Bai tomorrow.
Tell him the truth directly? Just tell Lu Bai that you drank too much and I came to take care of you. It was too late and the dormitory was locked, so I brought you to get a room. Don't worry, I didn't do anything and I won't do anything... Damn it!
Damn it, damn it!!!!!!
Thinking of this, Zhang Xiaotian really wanted to knock himself unconscious, and then take care of Zhou Bin and Xu Yan along with him. Zhou Bin, that noob, if he can't drink, then don't drink! It's fine if he drinks it himself, but why drag others along? And Xu Yan, he just left without saying anything, leaving him and Lu Bai here like this. So everything I said to him that day was for nothing?!
None of them are loyal!
Zhang Xiaotian pinched his eyebrows hard and took a deep breath, but before he could relax, he heard a muffled sound outside the bathroom, followed by Lu Bai's groan.
What happened?
Zhang Xiaotian didn't care about anything else. He quickly wrapped a bath towel around himself and went out. When he opened the door, he saw Lu Bai sitting on the ground, half-supporting his body, holding his head and crying in pain.
"Kowtowing?" Zhang Xiaotian hurried over and squatted next to Lu Bai, "Let me see!"
Lu Bai was already a drunk, and now he had fallen off the bed and hit his head, making his head even more of a mess. He opened his eyes a crack, barely recognizing that it was Zhang Xiaotian in front of him, and then he dived into Zhang Xiaotian's arms.
"Tian'er, I have a headache~" He cried and asked for comfort, rubbing against Zhang Xiaotian's arms.
"Be quiet and don't move!"
Zhang Xiaotian was so busy pulling his hair that he didn't notice the bath towel loosened by Lu Bai. When he felt cold under his body, he realized that he was not wearing anything and was shocked.
"Eh? What is this..."
Lu Bai's eyes were hazy with drunkenness, and he couldn't control his hands, so he just touched Zhang Xiaotian. Zhang Xiaotian tried to hide, but who would have thought that a drunk could be so fast? Zhang Xiaotian had no time to react, and in the blink of an eye, Lu Bai's arms were around him, locking him in his arms.
"you!"
Zhang Xiaotian was about to scream when Lu Bai held him down and sucked hard on him. He froze and dared not move.
"You changed your shower gel..." Lu Bai sniffed Zhang Xiaotian's neck carefully and murmured, "The smell has changed... Why didn't you tell me..."
"...What's there to say?"
He had been so anxious that he hadn't felt the coldness at first, but now that Lu Bai was hugging him, Zhang Xiaotian finally realized how cold he was. Lu Bai seemed even hotter, burning his bones to the point of melting. He really didn't want to stay with Lu Bai like this, so he patted Lu Bai and said, "Go back to bed, you need to rest."
Lu Bai didn't move.
"Lu Bai? Let me go." Zhang Xiaotian patted him again, "At least let me put on some clothes. I'm cold."
"Um... cold?"
When Lu Bai heard Zhang Xiaotian say he was cold, he loosened his grip slightly.
"Why...are you not wearing any clothes..." He half-opened his eyes and looked at Zhang Xiaotian. After thinking for a while, he suddenly realized, "Oh, yes, you took a shower...No wonder you are wet..."
"Yes, so let me go before I get you wet too."
Zhang Xiaotian felt embarrassed by his gaze, so he wrapped the towel around him again and coaxed him, "Be obedient and let me go. I'll go put on some clothes..."
"Then...I want to wash too!"
Lu Bai let go of Zhang Xiaotian, stood up suddenly, and raised his hands to take off his clothes.
"Nonsense! Why are you taking a bath when you're so drunk?"
Zhang Xiaotian was completely overwhelmed. While he was speaking, Lu Bai had already taken off his shirt and was about to take off his pants. Zhang Xiaotian quickly grabbed his hands and pushed him onto the bed.
"What are you doing...I'm going to take a shower!"
"no!"
Zhang Xiaotian exerted force and finally pushed Lu Bai onto the bed, but he didn't notice that Lu Bai was still holding his arm. When Lu Bai fell, he also fell with him, and the two of them fell heavily on the bed.
"hiss..."
Zhang Xiaotian fell on Lu Bai, and was hit in the jaw by Lu Bai. He almost immediately tried to get up from Lu Bai, but was pulled back by the man.
Lu Bai's pants were halfway down, and he felt a little uncomfortable, so he arched his body against Zhang Xiaotian again.
"...I feel dizzy...Where are you going?" Lu Bai held Zhang Xiaotian tightly, "Where are you going again..."
Zhang Xiaotian struggled for a long time, but the more he struggled, the tighter Lu Bai held him. He simply gave up and sighed, "I'm not going anywhere."
"Where can I go?" Zhang Xiaotian soothed him, "It's the middle of the night, I can't go anywhere."
"You're lying."
Lu Bai buried his face in Zhang Xiaotian's neck, and felt hot and flushed as he spoke.
"My phone is unreachable, and I've been to your house... I can't find you at all..."
After hearing him say this, Zhang Xiaotian understood that Lu Bai was talking about what happened in the past.
"But you still found me now."
Zhang Xiaotian patted Lu Bai's back again and again.
"I'm not leaving, Lu Bai."
I originally didn't plan to meet again, but now that you've found me, I'll still be by your side until you no longer need me.
This is something I decided a long time ago.
"You are lying." Lu Bai still said.
The curtains were wide open, and moonlight streamed into the room, illuminating every corner like a searchlight. Though everything was different, Zhang Xiaotian still remembered the night he'd spoken to Han Chengcheng on the phone. He suddenly felt overwhelmed, and the words he'd been holding back for so long began to pour out like the moonlight.
"I didn't lie to you." He looked at the moon. "It was indeed very sudden, but I... I couldn't do anything..."
"Lu Bai, that's the only choice I have."
Zhang Xiaotian stroked Lu Bai's hair. "I understand. You were happy before you met me, so... it doesn't matter whether I'm here or not. I really intended to stay with you for a long time, but... given the circumstances at the time, if I had stayed any longer, I'm afraid we wouldn't even be friends anymore."
"When I think about the possibility that you might not be able to accept me, or even find me disgusting, I'm... so scared that I can't sleep." Zhang Xiaotian said to himself, "I'd rather you blame me, or forget me. I was prepared to never see you again, but I didn't expect to meet you here again, and then it would turn out like this... If I had known I would meet you again, I shouldn't have said those words to you, and I shouldn't have seen you..."
"Why?" Lu Bai suddenly asked.
Zhang Xiaotian lowered his head. Lu Bai, who had been listening obediently just now, suddenly raised his head. Zhang Xiaotian looked over and met his burning gaze. He seemed to be somewhat sober, but the smell of alcohol was still there, and he even stammered:
"...Think you're disgusting? Why would I think you're disgusting?"
"Don't you know everything?"
Zhang Xiaotian felt so hurt by this question, as if Lu Bai's gaze was cutting him. He smiled softly and said, "Because I like you, you straight guy."
"...What does that have to do with you leaving?" Lu Bai asked stubbornly, "You... like me, but you want to leave? If you like someone, shouldn't you pursue them quickly..."
"So you want me to pursue you?" Zhang Xiaotian laughed at him, "Stop it, you don't like men. Didn't you say before that you would find a girlfriend when you went to college?"
"If I find a girlfriend, will you leave?"
"Whether you find a girlfriend or not, I will..."
"No!" Lu Bai interrupted, "Then I won't look for it anymore."
"...What are you talking about?"
Zhang Xiaotian thought he was childish and cute: "You've drunk too much and you're not sober now. Go to sleep."
"I'm not drunk!"
"You like me, but you still want to leave me." Lu Bai looked at Zhang Xiaotian with dark eyes, "Then if I like you too, can you not leave me?"
Zhang Xiaotian shook his head: "This is unrealistic. You go to sleep first..."
"You mean, as long as I like you, you won't disappear suddenly again, right?"
"Okay then."
Lu Bai grabbed Zhang Xiaotian's face, his eyes blurred but precise as he spoke to him word by word:
"Zhang Xiaotian, I like you."
Zhang Xiaotian was caught off guard by these words. His heartbeat suddenly skipped a beat, and then a surge of anger rose up.
"You're really drunk."
He pulled up the quilt and threw it directly on Lu Bai's face.
"You talk nonsense after drinking a little! I'll pretend I didn't hear anything you said just now!"
"Don't stand in my way... Why do you think I can't accept it?"
Lu Bai also got excited, throwing back the quilt and grabbing Zhang Xiaotian. The two of them were dodging and grabbing each other, almost wrestling. Lu Bai's strength was amazing in his drunken state. He grabbed Zhang Xiaotian's wrist, which was wrapped around the bath towel, and his other leg shoved between his legs without any explanation, trapping him tightly between the headboard and his body.
"What's wrong with you tonight?!"
Zhang Xiaotian's breathing was unstable, and the towel had been largely untied during his struggle. His exposed skin brushed against Lu Bai's hot pajamas, causing him to shudder. "You've had too much to drink, and you're talking nonsense?!"
"I didn't say anything nonsense!"
"You haven't said anything yet? Do you know what you just said?" Zhang Xiaotian trembled slightly, his eyes red with anger. "Lu Bai, you treated me coldly when you were sober, and now you want to play tricks on me just because you had a few drinks? Why didn't I know you had such a bad taste before?!"
He was so angry that his voice choked, and even the hand holding Lu Bai was shaking: "Why are you torturing me like this? Is it because I like you?!"
"...I didn't." Lu Bai was stunned, but still said it.
Zhang Xiaotian had never been so disappointed with Lu Bai.
How else could he possibly despise his feelings? Why did he have to live such a miserable life? Zhang Xiaotian stared at Lu Bai with hatred, not moving away until his eyes blurred.
"You're saying you like me right now. Do you think that just by saying it, everyone will accept it?" He said sarcastically, "What do you think of my feelings?"
Lu Bai frowned, closed his eyes tightly, and then opened them again.
He had just rolled around with Zhang Xiaotian, and now he felt dizzy, his vision was shaking, and he vaguely saw two moons in Zhang Xiaotian's eye sockets.
"You... cried..."
He reached out to touch it unsteadily, but was pushed aside by Zhang Xiaotian.
"None of your business!"
The blow was so severe that the back of Lu Bai's hand instantly turned red. But he seemed to feel nothing and still reached out his hand towards Zhang Xiaotian.
"I was wrong, Tian'er..." Lu Bai wiped the tears from Zhang Xiaotian's cheek with his fingertips, "Don't cry..."
The hot fingers touched the side of his face, the movement was gentle, but for Zhang Xiaotian it was like torture.
Zhang Xiaotian felt extremely pathetic. He knew he had been deeply hurt and in great pain by this warmth, but he still clung to it and couldn't refuse.
Am I such a coward?
"Lu Bai."
Zhang Xiaotian pulled the corners of his mouth and wiped away his tears fiercely.
"Didn't you say you could accept it? I want to see if you can accept it!"
After saying that, he held Lu Bai's face, raised his head and kissed him.
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