Chapter 55
"Hello, Zhou Bin..."
Seeing Zhou Bin was about to leave, Xu Yan called out to him, but the squad leader happened to signal everyone to be quiet, interrupting him.
All the professional courses have been completed, but there is only one elective left. The teacher happened to be a very picky person and did not accept essays or group assignments. Therefore, in order to prepare for this final closed-book exam, the whole class had to stay in school for a few more days.
However, there was really nothing to review for the elective courses, and medical school itself had fewer entertainment activities than other colleges, so this was a good opportunity for the whole class to be together and have nothing to do. To seize this rare opportunity, the class monitor proposed a class dinner, and the bored students responded enthusiastically, and the dinner project was passed almost unanimously.
Except Zhang Xiaotian and Zhou Bin.
"I need to go back and review." Zhang Xiaotian said ruthlessly, "Even if it's an elective course, it's very important."
"Oh..." The squad leader scratched his head vigorously and asked Zhou Bin, "What about you, Zhou Bin? What's your reason?"
Zhou Bin tilted his head: "My girlfriend's car is coming today, I have to go and see her off."
"That won't delay it!"
"Don't think I don't know. Your boyfriend isn't leaving until tonight, and we're having lunch right after lunch!" The monitor spoke earnestly to Zhou Bin, and then stopped Zhang Xiaotian who was trying to sneak away. "Emperor Zhang! Don't leave either. It's rare that all the people in the class are here! Besides, even if you need to review, you still have to eat, right?"
"I can order takeout..." Zhang Xiaotian tried to insist on his opinion.
"Then you just don't give me face!" The squad leader looked at him with a smile.
In the end, the dinner project was passed unanimously. The squad leader waved his hand and a group of people headed to the reserved restaurant.
Xu Yan pushed through the crowd and stood next to Zhou Bin again.
"Hey, didn't you hear me talking to you?"
"Ah? Aunt Xu! No, I didn't hear it..." Zhou Bin wanted to run away again as soon as he saw Xu Yan.
“Don’t run!”
"Do you think I can't see?" Xu Yan grabbed Zhou Bin and refused to let go. "You've been avoiding me these past two days! Let me ask you, didn't you say last time that as long as they did what you said, they would definitely reconcile?"
"I didn't say I must..." Zhou Bin tried to pull back his clothes, but was held even tighter.
"Tsk, forget it."
Xu Yan gritted his teeth and said, "I'll think of another way."
"Mother Xu, why do you care so much?" Zhou Bin said helplessly, "We are just roommates, roommates! Do you understand?"
Yes, I know they are roommates, but...
Xu Yan was speechless for a moment and looked in the direction of Zhang Xiaotian. Zhang Xiaotian had been next to the squad leader. Perhaps the squad leader was afraid that he would run away, so he kept holding him to talk.
Forget it...it's his fault for being a worry-monger.
Xu Yan said, "Then...are you going to live in this dormitory atmosphere forever? Aren't you afraid of insomnia?"
"I'm not afraid." Zhou Bin shrugged and said nonchalantly, "My girlfriend is going to have an internship next semester, and I can rent a house with her."
"You kid!"
"Mother Xu, I can live in the dormitory, and so can you."
Zhou Bin said, "Your family is local anyway, why don't you just go home and live there?"
Xu Yan looked at Zhou Bin in confusion.
"I'm not stupid. The dormitory is only a few steps away from the teaching building. Do you want me to take the bus or squeeze into the subway every day just to attend classes? I won't suffer that! Don't act like it's none of your business now. Don't forget, you still live in the dormitory now, don't you?"
After saying that, he tugged at Zhou Bin's clothes.
"So, you have to think of a solution for me too! What if your partner doesn't want to live with you in the future?"
Zhou Bin opened his mouth wide when he heard this: "How is that possible? That's my opinion..."
"Hey Zhou Bin, you still call me Aunt Xu. As a son, don't you listen to your mother?" Xu Yan looked at him.
Zhou Bin stared at Xu Yan for a while, and finally gave in.
"Okay, okay..." He nodded, "What should we do now?"
"Let me think..."
Xu Yan looked at Zhang Xiaotian, and then at Lu Bai, who seemed to be eight feet away from Zhang Xiaotian, but his eyes were following him closely.
"Let's try this time and find a breakthrough from Lu Bai."
Lu Bai had always been on the fringes of the class. He'd been losing focus lately, and this time was no exception. In the blink of an eye, he found himself surrounded by classmates in groups of three or two. He'd intended to just slip into any group like he'd always done, but now he realized he couldn't even pronounce his classmates' names correctly.
It seemed like ever since he started college, all he could remember were Zhang Xiaotian, his roommate Xu Yan, Zhou Bin, the class monitor, Zhang Ting, who played Zhang Xiaotian's lover, Zhang Xiaotian, Zhang Xiaotian, Zhang Xiaotian...
When did it become like this?
Lu Bai was not surprised by his change. What surprised him was that he was so calm about this situation. It was as if the sociable and easy-going Lu Bai before college was just an act, and he was actually like this now.
The colorful college life he had imagined in high school no longer piqued his interest. He didn't know when it started, but Zhang Xiaotian was the only person he could think of.
This wasn't right, and he should have felt wrong about it. Why was this happening?
Lu Bai thought about it all the way but couldn't figure it out. When he reacted, the group had already arrived at the hotel.
"Those who want to order with me can stay, and the rest can go wait in the private room first!"
The squad leader took the menu, and the others automatically divided into several groups. Those who went to the private rooms went to the private rooms, and those who went to the toilet went to the toilet. Lu Bai wanted to follow the crowd, but was stopped by Xu Yan halfway.
"Go have a cigarette." Xu Yan said to Lu Bai, holding Zhou Bin's hand.
"I don't smoke..."
"Oh crap, go away!"
The two men attacked Lu Bai from both sides and took him to the alley behind the restaurant kitchen. As soon as Zhou Bin let go, he immediately lit a cigarette.
"Are you really smoking?" Xu Yan looked at him.
"You don't want to smoke?"
"Okay, go ahead..." Xu Yan waved his hands helplessly.
"Don't you smoke?" Lu Bai looked at him.
"I don't smoke." Xu Yan also looked back.
"..." Lu Bai was speechless.
Xu Yan didn't have any cigarettes, so he took out a pack of gum and gave Lu Bai a stick. "I called you out because I want to ask you about your relationship with Zhang Xiaotian."
"Hey, are you so direct?" Zhou Bin smiled and was choked by the smoke.
"I realized I was too nagging before. I should be more direct. I can't be so nagging just because you call me mom." Xu Yan looked at Lu Bai, "What's the matter with you two? Didn't you talk it out after drinking that day?"
Lu Bai lowered his head, staring at the toe of his shoe, not knowing what to say or how to say it. As he stared, he suddenly remembered that Zhang Xiaotian seemed to enjoy looking at the toe of his shoe like this as well. He couldn't help but smile, then his face darkened again.
Xu Yan and Zhou Bin, who witnessed the whole process: "..."
"No." Zhou Bin put the cigarette next to his mouth and forgot to smoke it. "This kid is crazy."
"Are you okay, Lu Bai?" Xu Yan stretched out his hand and waved it in front of Lu Bai's eyes. "Hello? Is anyone there? Somebody いるですか?"
"Look at what you learned from Zhou Bin. What country are these devils from?" Lu Bai shook his head and gently brushed away Xu Yan's hand. "We are fine."
"Tsk tsk, just like Xiaotian, I have to say you two have quite a tacit understanding..."
Xu Yan crossed his arms and looked at Lu Bai. Seeing that he had no intention of confessing, he simply laid it out: "I'm not afraid that Xiaotian will be angry with me. Has Xiaotian ever told you that he likes you?"
Zhou Bin also imitated him: "Yes, did Xiaotian say...wait?!"
He turned around and looked at Xu Yan in amazement.
"Is... is that what I thought it meant... Who does Xiaotian like? Who likes Lu Bai?"
Xu Yan was too lazy to answer him, and asked Lu Bai again: "Then do you know that Xiaotian has liked you for a long time?"
Lu Bai nodded.
He didn't lose his memory that night; it was just that his mouth wasn't controlling his brain. He still remembered everything he said and did, and naturally remembered that Zhang Xiaotian had confessed his love to him that night. However, what happened afterwards was beyond his tolerance, and he didn't know how to face Zhang Xiaotian for a moment.
"You still know!?" Zhou Bin was shocked.
"You know..." Xu Yan felt a little itchy when he saw Lu Bai nod.
"Since you already know everything, what are you hesitating about? I'm telling you, we've all seen how you two get along. At this point, don't tell me you don't have any feelings for Zhang Xiaotian at all?"
Feeling, what kind of feeling do you want?
Lu Bai admitted that he had never considered these things. His thoughts were simple. Initially, he considered Zhang Xiaotian his best friend, but after losing contact with him, he realized that Zhang Xiaotian meant far more to him than he had imagined. Although they hadn't been together for long, he could no longer endure the days without Zhang Xiaotian. The repetitive routine had become abnormal, and his usual life had broken down. Every day without Zhang Xiaotian felt like a part was missing. Although the system could barely function, it always felt very tiring.
Zhang Xiaotian said he liked him, but what did that even mean? He had never liked anyone before, and he had never felt the heart-throb described in movies or novels. But when he was with Zhang Xiaotian, he felt as if the colors before his eyes were flowing, and every step and every breath felt real. His days felt more vibrant than ever.
Does this count as love? If so, can he and Zhang Xiaotian continue to be together as before? But why did Zhang Xiaotian not accept him that night and even cry in front of him?
"Wait, wait, wait, can someone explain to me what's going on?" Zhou Bin was a little confused. "Xu Yan, Xu Ma, didn't you say you wanted to protect the relationship between roommates?"
"Are they indeed roommates?" Xu Yan looked at him.
"That's right... then you should have explained it to me in advance! Doesn't this dorm have anyone who cares about my feelings?!!!"
"So you can't accept it?" Xu Yan asked him.
Zhou Bin held his forehead with his hand: "A little bit...but it's okay if it's not me that likes it."
"Good son." Xu Yan turned around and looked at Lu Bai again. "What about you? You can't accept it either?"
"I don't understand..." Lu Bai said with some difficulty, "Is this something that is difficult to accept?"
"For most people who aren't here, it should be."
Xu Yan looked at Lu Bai hesitantly, as if sensing a hidden meaning in his words. Ever since that night, he'd noticed that, while the two were still in a cold war on the surface, a closer look revealed a significant difference. If Lu Bai had been the one in the previous cold war, now it felt like the opposite. As Xu Yan thought about this, he suddenly realized something.
"Wait, tell me, what did you talk about with Xiaotian that night? What exactly happened that night?"
Lu Bai omitted some of the content and only told them what he could. After listening to it, Xu Yan felt a headache.
"It seems you don't know as much as I do."
Zhou Bin also felt a little disappointed with his friend. He took a few steps forward and then walked back viciously.
"No, even if you don't quite understand the situation, a normal person wouldn't confess at this time, right? Lu Bai, what was your score in the Chinese language test on the college entrance examination? You're so bad at reading the atmosphere?"
"You talk as if you know everything." Lu Bai retorted unconvincedly.
"I wouldn't confess like this even if I didn't know better!" Zhou Bin retorted, "Do you know how I confessed to my boyfriend? I planned it for half a month, specially prepared the venue and flowers, and I almost..."
"Zhou Bin, I see you can't listen and read the atmosphere." Xu Yan said.
Zhou Bin, who was showing off his affection, was forced to stop. The three boys were speechless.
"So, what should we do now?" Zhou Bin looked at the expressions of the two men. "How about letting Lu Bai apologize?"
"An apology is a must."
Xu Yan pondered. "But before he apologizes, Lu Bai needs to know everything."
"Then just tell him!" Zhou Bin said.
Xu Yan shook his head.
"I'm afraid Xiaotian hasn't told me everything." Xu Yan said to Lu Bai, "I'm afraid asking him directly won't work. I remember Xiaotian said that when he was in the same class with you, someone knew he liked you. Why don't you think about who that person is? Maybe you can get a clearer understanding."
Zhang Xiaotian could feel Lu Bai's burning gaze all day long. The gaze fell on him from afar, but he didn't feel any intention of getting closer.
Maybe this is the answer.
Zhang Xiaotian's heart ached. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was the scene the day after Lu Bai got drunk.
That morning, they both woke up together. When Lu Bai opened his eyes and saw him, his eyes lit up for a moment, but then he must have remembered what they had done. His expression suddenly looked stiff, and he began to rub his temples with his head down.
"Nothing. I just drank too much and now I have a headache."
Zhang Xiaotian was worried that he had a headache and wanted to touch him.
But Lu Bai subconsciously dodged.
At that moment, awkwardness mixed with the smell in the room filled the air. Seeing Lu Bai's attitude, Zhang Xiaotian knew what he meant. His heart immediately sank, and his body became cold. He couldn't help but sneeze.
"You...go put on some clothes first."
Lu Bai said this to him.
Zhang Xiaotian didn't care about that. He felt he had never felt so embarrassed before, so he hurriedly grabbed his clothes and put them on. Unfortunately, the two strings of the sweatshirt got caught together. After trying for a long time, he couldn't get his head through, so Zhang Xiaotian had to take it off again. He wanted to untie the strings, but when he lowered his head, tears fell.
Looking at the two large water stains on his clothes, Zhang Xiaotian felt like something had triggered, tears streaming down his face. He couldn't hold them back, no matter how hard he tried. He put his sweatshirt back on, and while getting dressed, he turned his back to Lu Bai and said, "You and Zhou Bin...both drank quite a bit, and Xu Yan took him away...and locked the dormitory door, so...don't get me wrong..."
"I remember, I was..."
"Nothing actually happened."
Zhang Xiaotian remembered that as he said this, he didn't even have the courage to look back. A suffocating feeling gripped him, as if he would die if he stayed there for even a second longer. So, he said, "I'm leaving now," and left the hotel.
He was prepared to become a stranger to Lu Bai, but that night shattered his last fantasy, and he seemed to have lost even his last bit of dignity. This feeling of despair seemed to pull him back to the day when he had a showdown with his mother, but now no one would give him another way out.
When the monitor suggested a dinner, he certainly didn't refuse because he needed to review. He hadn't quite gotten his mind right yet, and he felt like he couldn't calmly be in the same room with Lu Bai unless there was something he absolutely had to do. But he couldn't refuse.
There was no one in the bathroom. Zhang Xiaotian looked at the dull and dripping face in the mirror and felt that the word "dead heart" was not enough to describe it.
Why don’t you wait a while and then sneak away.
That person wasn't hard to find. After all, Lu Bai could only think of one person who had been close friends with both Lu Bai and Zhang Xiaotian in high school and who had managed to keep the secret until today. After Xu Yan and Zhou Bin entered the room, he didn't hesitate, pulled out his phone, and called that person directly.
The phone rang for a while before it was picked up. Han Chengcheng was a little surprised when she answered it.
"Lu Bai?"
"It's me." Lu Bai heard the sound of a train coming from the other side. "Are you going home?"
"Yeah." Han Chengcheng asked him, "Aren't you guys on vacation yet?"
"There's one last exam left."
"It's really hard to be a medical student." Han Chengcheng sighed, and then asked, "Why did you suddenly think of calling me?"
Lu Bai was stunned by the question.
It seemed like he was only one step away from the truth, but at this moment, Lu Bai suddenly didn't know how to start. The sound of the train hitting the tracks reached his ears intermittently. Lu Bai opened his mouth and said vaguely, "I saw Tian'er. He is my roommate now."
On the other end of the phone, Han Chengcheng took a breath.
"Same school, same major, same class, and even in the same dorm? Is this fate..."
Hearing her say this, Lu Bai knew he had found the right person. "Do you know something, Han Cheng?" he asked anxiously, "How did you know? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I feel... given the situation back then, even if I told you, it wouldn't have been of much use." Han Chengcheng said apologetically, "Who could have imagined that you two would meet again one day?"
"So, what happened?"
Han Chengcheng told Lu Bai what happened that year as objectively and briefly as possible. Lu Bai was silent for a long time after listening.
"So, don't blame Zhang Xiaotian for not telling you." Han Chengcheng comforted her, "He couldn't do anything at the time. Now that you meet again, I think..."
"I didn't choose the school randomly when I applied." Lu Bai said suddenly.
"Ah?" Han Chengcheng was confused by this sentence.
"I admit that I took my chances a bit."
Han Chengcheng's words were like a heavy hammer, which not only woke Lu Bai up, but also shattered the window that separated the two of them every time Lu Bai went to Zhang Xiaotian's house.
"I know Tianer wants to study medicine, and I know he has a good impression of University B."
If he could go back to those days, Lu Bai knew that he would definitely smash the glass.
"So whether it works or not, I want to give it a try."
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