Chapter 16
Despite Chi Ran's repeated questioning, Song Yihuan ultimately did not reveal her birthday wish.
She said she wanted to keep it a secret.
After they finished eating the cake, Chi Ran and Qian Yu helped wash the dishes and clean the table. By the time they finished, it was almost nine o'clock, and the birthday party came to an end.
Chi Ran helped Qian Yu walk towards her front door, turning back to look at her and smiling as she said, "Happy birthday."
After saying that, he imitated her tone and added, "Are you coming again tomorrow...?"
I didn't receive a reply.
The light in the entryway was dim, and he couldn't see anything. Maybe she didn't hear him, or maybe she wasn't standing at the door.
"Bye-bye! I'm off with Ran-ge!"
After greeting him, Qian Yu led him through the corridor to the front door and entered the password.
Chi Ran listened intently, but still didn't hear the door close.
"Wait a minute!" Song Yihuan suddenly called out, followed by the sound of hurried footsteps.
"Hmm?" He turned to face her, tilting his head to indicate that he was listening.
She said very seriously, even solemnly, "I have something I want to talk to you about alone."
The last syllable of his voice trembled slightly.
Outside the corridor window, the sun was setting, casting a dim, yellowish light. Tree branches were hidden in the gloom, their cracks spreading across the twilight.
"What do you want to say?" Chi Ran asked, leaning against the window.
The light was too dim; he could only see a hazy grayness, but he still tried to tilt his head toward her.
“You just said that you should speak your wishes aloud,” she seemed nervous and swallowed several times, “and maybe they will come true. Is that true?”
"You want to make a wish?" Chi Ran raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you just say you wanted to keep it a secret?"
"Yes." She swallowed hard again. "Is...is it possible?"
Chi Ran became a little nervous at her tone. Instead of speaking in a half-joking tone as before, he replied cautiously, "I'll give it a try."
She remained silent for a long time, the only sound in the empty corridor being her slightly heavy breathing, as if she were making some important decision.
“My birthday wish is—” she paused for a long time before saying slowly and deliberately, “to sleep with you.”
Chi Ran wondered if she hadn't heard clearly, so she bent down slightly and leaned closer: "What?"
She clearly misunderstood, suddenly grabbing his shoulders and pulling him close, quickly kissing him on the cheek.
Then, as if he had nothing to lose, he said it again: "I said, my birthday wish is to sleep with you!"
Chi Ran didn't have time to dodge. He only felt a feather brush against his cheek. He took a half step back in a daze, his knuckles touching the spot where she had just kissed him.
"What are you doing?" he asked in surprise.
Song Yihuan repeated even louder, "My birthday wish is to sleep with you! Or if you don't understand, I'll call it making love to you." Then she pressed, "Do you want to?"
"I don't need you to explain this to me, you—" Chi Ran paused, calmed down for a moment before softening his tone and asking her, "What happened?"
He only realized halfway through his sentence that her current state and tone were very strange.
This strange feeling was inexplicably familiar to him.
Two weeks ago, she was in the same tense state when she asked him if he would sell his body.
"Nothing happened," she quickly denied. "I just want to sleep with you, to have sex with you, okay?"
Chi Ran frowned, but still patiently asked again, "Are you sure nothing's wrong?"
"You asked me yourself what my birthday wish is, and I'm telling you now." Her voice was somewhat sharp. "Don't tell me you don't want to, just tell me if it's okay or not."
Chi Ran's tone became more serious: "Song Yihuan, what do you think?"
"Does my word mean it's okay?" Her tone turned sharp. "Are you even capable?"
Chi Ran laughed in exasperation, "No... you, I really... why are you doing this?"
"From the moment I met you, I thought you were beautiful and sexy, and I've always wanted to sleep with you." She said in a defiant manner, "Didn't you ask me to make a birthday wish? This is my wish."
She knew perfectly well that he wasn't asking the right question, but she still insisted on answering it anyway.
If he asks again, it will probably be the same few questions repeated over and over.
"I don't know what's wrong with you. If that's how you are, then let's talk again when you're sober." Chi Ran leaned against the wall, turned around, and walked away.
Song Yihuan suddenly stopped him, standing on tiptoe and almost pressing her entire body against him; Chi Ran could even feel her trembling breath hitting him—
He opened his right hand, quickly covering the lower half of his face. The next second, her kiss landed on the back of his hand.
One bump wasn't enough; she rammed into him and kissed him fiercely several times, then grabbed his right hand.
Chi Ran was completely enraged. He grabbed both of her wrists with one hand, slammed them against the wall, and growled, "Are you crazy?!"
She struggled fiercely, her nails digging viciously into his hand, shouting, "I'm not crazy! I've made myself perfectly clear! Didn't you say you would grant my wish?!"
"Don't move!" He squeezed even tighter, and the next second he felt a sharp pain in his hand as she bit him hard. "Ouch!"
Chi Ran didn't let go, stretching out his arms to control her, letting her struggle and pinch and bite as she pleased, and just waited quietly.
She kept yelling, causing the motion-activated lights to flicker on and off, and making a constant clicking sound.
"It's either yes or no!! Let go of me!"
"Stop grabbing me! Are you sure you can handle this?!"
"Let go! Let go!! I'm going to bite you!!!"
…
For a moment, Chi Ran wondered if she heard a sob, but when she bit down again, her cheeks were dry and there were no tears.
He remained silent and waited.
After a few minutes of struggling, Song Yihuan started panting heavily, her movements gradually became smaller, and she leaned against the wall as if deflated, no longer biting him.
"Have you calmed down?" Chi Ran asked coldly. "Explain."
Song Yihuan pressed against the cold wall, unmoved by reason, and said, "There's nothing to explain. Didn't you wish me to enjoy myself to the fullest? If you hadn't thought about this at all, you wouldn't have come today."
Chi Ran suddenly let out a cold laugh, her tone even worse than when she had been bitten earlier: "I came to celebrate your birthday today, to give you my blessings, to go to such lengths... and this is how you understand me, how you understand those three words?"
He flung her hands away. "Are you blind or am I?"
Song Yihuan didn't say anything.
"I don't know what nonsense you're spouting," Chi Ran said. "I'll just take what you said today as you being drunk and acting crazy."
Song Yihuan rubbed her wrist and stubbornly insisted, "I didn't drink."
"If you hadn't drunk a pound of liquor or inhaled gas, you wouldn't be spouting this nonsense today," he said coldly.
Song Yihuan leaned silently against the wall.
I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
He leaned against the wall to walk to the door, pressed the fingerprint lock, and it beeped.
Clatter, clang.
Qian Yu stumbled out as the door opened, letting out an awkward laugh: "What...what are you guys talking about that's causing such a commotion?"
No one answered.
Song Yihuan leaned against the wall dejectedly, biting her lip, without looking at him.
Chi Ran walked past Qian Yu and went into her house without looking back.
He only left her with the words, "Don't come tomorrow."
Song Yihuan stood there for a long time without making a sound, and the motion-activated light quickly went out. Outside the window, it was completely dark, and she stood silently in the darkness.
The darkness heightened her hearing; she could even hear Qian Yu rustling and peeking from behind the door, and the sound of him tiptoeing away.
The taste of blood rose in her mouth; she had bitten his hand and the soft flesh at the corner of his mouth, and it was impossible to tell who bled more.
After a long while, Guoguo came out to find her and pulled her back.
"go home."
The remaining birthday cake was still on the table, just a blurry, shapeless blob. The cream had collapsed, and the words on it were long gone, no longer shiny.
I don't know if the remaining blurry strokes are missing or part of a page.
Guoguo sat down next to her and reached out to rub her head. "Why don't you cry for a while? I'll stay with you."
Song Yihuan didn't speak or cry. Guoguo didn't urge her, but stroked her hair.
After waiting a while, Guoguo said, "It's almost ten o'clock, more than an hour late."
Song Yihuan glanced at her phone; the alarm clock, which she had just silenced, was starting to ring again.
The alarm clock label is a bunch of exclamation marks interspersed with two words:
Take your medicine!!!
"Okay." Song Yihuan had just gotten up when Guoguo pressed her back down. "I'll go get the medicine. You can get some water."
The sound of pills being poured out came from the living room.
Guoguo came over carrying the caps of two medicine bottles. "Check if this is correct. Number 31, you take five kinds and I take three kinds. Anluo, you finish your medicine today and stop taking it tomorrow, right?"
Song Yihuan handed her a glass of water. "Yes."
She took the bottle cap; inside were white capsules, blue flat pills, yellow long pills… the bottle cap was full.
Song Yihuan tapped her bottle cap against Guoguo's, causing the pills to rattle and clatter.
She said, "Cheers."
"Cheers," Guoguo replied cooperatively.
There were less than ten pills of different shapes in the bottle cap. She tilted her head back and poured them into her mouth, then brought the glass to her lips and gulped down a mouthful of water.
I felt choked after swallowing.
Her record is swallowing thirteen tablets, including three huge capecitabine tablets. But for some reason, she just can't swallow these today.
She pounded her chest twice, then gulped down a large mouthful of water before finally swallowing the pill.
She felt a little acidic after drinking too much water, so she dipped her finger in a little bit of cream from the cake and put it in her mouth.
Before the cream had even melted, Guoguo closed the cake box.
"Don't eat it, it's too greasy and makes me nauseous." Guoguo put away the rest of the cake. "You just ate that most expensive medicine, which cost 155 yuan a pill. Throw it out again. If you throw it up and then don't eat it, it's a waste of money. If you eat it, it's too disgusting."
Song Yihuan paused for a moment, then suddenly said, "Guo, I think I messed up."
Guoguo sat down next to her: "Yeah. You just want to mess things up. If you were really determined to sleep with him, you wouldn't talk like that."
“I’m… a little too happy today.” Song Yihuan fiddled with the plastic on the medicine box lid that was about to break, and said, “I was a little angry when the alarm clock went off. Why did it remind me to do something for no reason? It’s also Chi Ran’s fault for wishing me to enjoy myself to the fullest. The blessing is good, but it’s still… too urgent.”
After the college entrance examination, Song Yihuan was, as usual, forced by Ms. Wang to go for a physical examination. The doctor immediately told Ms. Wang that there was a shadow on her pancreas. Ms. Wang forced herself to stay awake and took her to the hospital again and again, and she was eventually diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, specifically choriocarcinoma, a disease that was unprecedented and hopefully will never be repeated.
Panda cancer, a type of cancer.
After being diagnosed, Song Yihuan remained unusually calm. She obediently cooperated with the treatment and even chatted happily with the doctor who was about to insert a half-meter-long tube into her body.
Sometimes she even thinks she's awesome.
She spent all her adult life coexisting with panda cancer cells. She briefly triumphed, was eroded to the point of being emaciated by the cancer cells, and even had a few extreme moments when she thought about killing this unruly body and eliminating the panda cells by taking them all down with her.
Song Yihuan had felt pain during those times, but never as despairing as she felt today when the alarm clock rang.
That kind of despair that makes you want to tear something apart, to destroy something.
The moment the alarm clock rang, she realized that her composure when she was diagnosed was not composure, but ignorance.
She had no concept of what fate had taken away from her; she didn't know what was precious about her or what was wonderful about life, so she was fearless.
When you're about to lose something, it's best not to remember how you felt about having it.
Guoguo squeezed her hand, "You're young."
“You’re only eight years older than me,” Song Yihuan glanced at her.
Guoguo said in a low voice, "Eight years is a long time. I went to university, had a boyfriend, and even worked for a while."
Song Yihuan didn't speak, but stared at the repeating alarm on her phone and said, "After running away for a long time, I feel like I've forgotten about it."
Guoguo didn't say anything, but simply lifted the hem of her clothes and began to apply the fentanyl patch.
"Ouch." Song Yihuan gasped. "Why are you scratching yourself like this again?"
Guoguo had several transparent patches on her waist and abdomen, and the surrounding skin was covered with red scratches, which looked shocking.
"I always feel itchy when I put them on, and I can't help but scratch." Guoguo took them off one by one and then removed the patches again.
Song Yihuan frowned as she watched: "Then don't scratch it, what if you tear the patch?"
"How can you use such force? Am I Wolverine?" Guoguo complained.
Song Yihuan watched her change the patches with hissing noises, then opened the Xiaohongshu app on her phone.
"Before I get sleepy, shall we answer a fan's question together?" Guoguo asked. "Are you... still in the mood?"
Strangely enough, after chatting with Guoguo for a while, she suddenly calmed down and was no longer as inexplicably angry as before.
"I'm fine." Song Yihuan nodded. "I haven't logged into this account for a month. Let me switch to another account."
Guoguo asked, "Why do you need two accounts? You have to switch between them all the time."
"Sister, I usually use this app to look up recipes." Song Yihuan switched accounts and showed the discovery page to Guoguo.
The above content is precisely recommended by Xiaohongshu, and it is mostly posts from patients sharing their symptoms.
She complained, "With jaundice, wounds, and abscesses, how can I be in the mood to look at a recipe? I'll just starve you for three days."
Guoguo smiled ingratiatingly: "Thank you, Little Chef Yihuan. You've worked so hard, even though you don't like to eat yourself, you still feed me."
"I've received 99+ comments and private messages." Song Yihuan clicked into the profile page. "I'll pick a few that are frequently repeated."
Guoguo laughed as soon as she saw the homepage: "Why haven't you changed your name yet? Doesn't anyone scold you for having such an annoying name?"
Song Yihuan has another identity on her Xiaohongshu account, which is completely unrelated to her identity as a singer on a certain website.
Her account name is: Resurrection Armor Original Direct Delivery.
The details included a long, humorous passage:
A patient with immature pancreatic arthritis (AI) is a rare species with only one case recorded in oncology guidelines.
Escaped mice from a clinical trial group at a top-tier hospital;
I've tried almost all the medications you're taking—a veritable encyclopedia of side effects.
“Nobody scolded me for this,” Song Yihuan laughed. “They all scolded me for being selfish and unwilling to contribute to the medical field.”
She scrolled down the message list, and every now and then there were a few messages cursing her, but most of them were concerned about whether she was okay and why she hadn't updated in so long.
There are also some issues involving the patients themselves or their families.
"Someone came over to insult you? Are you bored?" Guoguo frowned.
Song Yihuan said, "No, it's not that. There was this guy who kept asking me why I terminated the clinical trial, how selfish he was. He got annoyed with my questions, so I said if you want to do the trial, then do it. Who would have thought that he wasn't sick and was just looking for trouble? He saw the message and exploded, posting that I was cursing him, and that's why a few people are chasing after me and cursing me."
“…Okay then.” Guoguo leaned over and swiped her screen. “Why are so many people still asking if they can eat grapefruit…”
“My profile picture and pinned post both say ‘Don’t eat citrus fruits,’ and I’ve replied to them several times already,” Song Yihuan sighed. “Who eats grapefruit for no reason? It’s such a niche fruit.”
Guoguo laughed: "You should also add 'Don't eat citrus fruits, including grapefruit' to your homepage description."
"Okay then." She raised her hand to change it.
“Most of the questions are about side effects, so I'll start a separate thread. I've used oxaliplatin and paclitaxel, so I'll write about those,” Song Yihuan asked. “You write about cisplatin.”
"Okay, I'll send it to you when I'm done." Guoguo opened the memo app.
“Someone asked me if I’ve ever taken Dolantin.” Song Yihuan asked. “I really haven’t taken it. Ms. Wang said it was addictive and wouldn’t let me take it.”
“I’ve never taken it either, and I see very few people using it in the patient support group,” Guoguo said. “People in the group either use regular painkillers or they’re all using morphine.”
Before she could speak, Guoguo stopped her: "Don't write this sentence. We're both half-baked doctors, let's just share some of our experiences."
"Oh." Song Yihuan frowned. "When did A Mao leave the patient support group? I was going to ask him that."
"He retired a long time ago, didn't he?" Guoguo said. "He retired without saying goodbye."
…
As soon as the post was published, Guoguo lay on the dining table yawning.
"Go to sleep." Song Yihuan switched back to her Xiaomoushu account. "Goodnight."
"Mmm." Guoguo slowly got up and went back to her room. "Goodnight."
After walking a few steps, Guoguo turned back and said, "Don't be too upset."
Song Yihuan shook her head: "It's nothing."
Guoguo's eyelids drooped, but she smiled and said, "Anyway, he's no good. Your birthday present will be here soon, and then..."
"Hiss—" Song Yihuan frowned and cursed, "Get up and go to sleep right now!"
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