Chapter 25
Chi Ran sat on the sofa, her hand still clutching Song Yihuan's sleeve.
“…Your knocking is so noisy,” she said.
"Why does your voice sound so weak?" Chi Ran asked without letting go of her hand, "Haven't you eaten?"
Song Yihuan nodded, then realized he couldn't see her, and whispered, "Mm."
Seeing how weak she looked, Chi Ran didn't dare ask her how many days she hadn't eaten.
"Have an avocado first." He handed her the avocado he had brought. "Take a spoon and eat it."
Song Yihuan took it and held it in her hand. The avocado had already been cut open, with a thin, long cut in the middle.
"...Why did you come here?" she asked.
Chi Ran sighed, "Guoguo is very worried about you."
As if grasping at a straw, Song Yihuan suddenly grabbed his wrist: "After she moved away, did she contact you?!"
Chi Ran remained silent for a long time.
The day Guoguo moved out, Chi Ran and Qian Yu happened to be out exercising and ran into her in the hallway.
The movers blocked the elevator with boxes and went back to move two other boxes.
"Wow, you're moving out?" Qian Yu asked. "Why didn't you tell me beforehand? I could have helped you move."
"It's just me, Huanhuan isn't moving," Guoguo said with a smile.
Chi Ran listened intently for a moment, then asked, "Didn't she see you off?"
Guoguo paused for a long time before answering, "She...she's a little unhappy because I moved out, she's in the house."
"Didn't you agree on the lease term?" Qian Yu asked.
“…I guess so,” Guoguo said.
After the mover finished moving all the boxes and blocked the elevator, he turned around and called to her, "Young lady, let's go down together."
"We're here," Guoguo said.
She walked to the elevator, then walked back: "Chi Ran, can I ask you for a favor?"
Chi Ran was taken aback when she called him, then nodded. "What is it?"
“She’s really unhappy. If… if anything happens to her, could you help look after her?” Guoguo said.
Qian Yu asked, "Huh? Why don't you just call her yourself?"
"Yes, I will go see her."
Before Guoguo could answer, Chi Ran agreed.
"And also..." Guoguo hesitated before saying, "If you're going to her house, try to go alone... Won't that be inconvenient?"
"No," Chi Ran said.
After Guoguo left, Qian Yu muttered to himself, "Why won't they let me go? They must think I'm unreliable..."
...
Song Yihuan listened intently to every word he said, his rusty brain slowly working, trying desperately to understand.
...So he didn't have Guoguo's contact information either.
She and Guoguo really have no connection anymore.
She was too frustrated to speak. Chi Ran frowned, grabbed her wrist, and gestured for her to eat an avocado. "Eat something."
Song Yihuan mechanically grasped the avocado, broke it in two, and then took a bite without using a spoon.
It was a bit greasy, so she didn't take a second bite. Instead, she placed the avocado on the coffee table. The movement was a little rough, causing the medicine box on the coffee table to rattle.
Song Yihuan subconsciously looked up, but Chi Ran probably didn't notice and frowned, urging her to eat some more.
She belatedly realized Guoguo's good intentions, and she made Chi Ran come to her alone so that Qian Yu wouldn't see the table full of medicine boxes.
These remain secrets that belong only to the two of them.
She closed her sore eyes and sighed softly.
"You need to eat something," Chi Ran said. "If you don't eat this... shall I make you something to eat?"
Song Yihuan was taken aback. "Huh? You're making it?"
“Yes, Omakase for the blind, do you want some?” Chi Ran asked.
The kitchen was filled with the sounds of hurried activity, the occasional sound of something falling, and Siri's voice announcements.
"A carton of eggs... soy sauce... a carton of eggs..."
Song Yihuan's mind went blank, and she sat blankly on the sofa.
Guoguo's departure brought her not only resentment and sadness, but also a great deal of confusion. Guoguo was her only accomplice in this escape, and after her accomplice moved out, the room was empty, and so was her mind.
She had never seriously considered the true meaning of this escape before, only feeling that being with Guoguo and doing what she wanted was freedom.
But from some point onward, the things she wanted to do became things Ms. Wang wouldn't allow her to do, and her freedom became a narrow path.
When Guoguo was around, the room was noisy every day, and she didn't spend much time thinking about meaning. Now that the room is quiet, confusion is like an elephant in the room, impossible to ignore.
The sound of clumsy egg-cracking came from the kitchen, intermittently accompanied by the sound of running water.
Guoguo instructed Chi Ran to take care of her, so he would inevitably ask her why they seemed to never see each other again, and why she was so dejected.
Not knowing how to answer, she could only repeatedly concoct ambiguous answers in her mind, waiting to deal with him.
However, Chi Ran didn't ask anything.
He made her a steamed egg in the microwave, but he added too little water and heated it for too long, resulting in many cracks on the surface of the steamed egg, and it tasted dry.
"Is it bad?"
This was the only question he asked, and after asking it, he rested his chin on his hand and waited silently for her to eat.
It tastes awful.
Song Yihuan ate the bland, dry egg custard in small bites, without saying a word.
Chi Ran tilted his head and put his ear towards her, seemingly listening to the sound of her eating to judge how much she had eaten.
She tried her best to eat, but only managed to finish half of the egg custard before putting it back on the table.
Chi Ran reached over, weighed it in her hand, and said, "It's good."
Then he didn't say anything more, and still didn't ask any questions.
He got up and slowly walked towards the door. He moved so slowly that he looked like he might trip over his toe at any moment, so Song Yihuan had to reach out and support him.
She escorted the person to the entrance, opened the door, and declared the inexplicable meeting over.
Before closing the door, Chi Ran suddenly blocked it and called her name: "Song Yihuan".
Song Yihuan slowly looked up: "Hmm?"
He suddenly smiled, a gentle smile she had never seen before. Light shone on his face, and his gray pupils shone with a faint luster.
"I'll come again tomorrow," he repeated, mimicking her tone, "I'll come again tomorrow~~"
He really came the next day, this time bringing some yam soup he had made.
"You can cook such complicated dishes?" Song Yihuan asked him, smelling the faint sweetness.
Chi Ran, resting her chin on her hand, said, "Praise be to the high-speed blender, Amen."
Then he didn't say anything more, just sat quietly and ate with her, like a human-shaped pillow whose main purpose was to keep her company.
After she put it down, he still weighed the bowl in his hand, frowned, and asked her, "Do you only eat this little bit every day?"
Song Yihuan didn't speak, and he didn't press further; the air fell silent again.
She didn't feel anything when she was alone, but it was a bit boring when the two of them were facing each other without talking.
If I don't say anything... I have to do something, right?
"I want to watch a movie..." she started to say but then stopped.
Chi Ran raised an eyebrow, but didn't mock her: "See? I'm listening."
Song Yihuan browsed on the iPad for a while, selected a few popular items, and opened her mouth as if to ask him to choose, but didn't say anything.
...Whether you let him choose or not, it seems offensive.
"Which one do you want to see?" he asked when she hadn't moved for a while.
After a moment's hesitation, Song Yihuan said, "...A spiritual journey?"
Chi Ran raised an eyebrow, revealing a somewhat surprised expression.
"Coincidentally, this is the last movie I 'watched'."
Song Yihuan: "Shall we still watch?"
“Listen,” Chi Ran replied meticulously, “This one will do.”
Soul is a wonderful animated film that explores the meaning of life and existence. In the film's world, each soul needs to find its own spark of passion in order to return to Earth.
At first, Song Yihuan was able to supplement Chi Ran with information not found in the lines, but later she became so engrossed in watching that she forgot to.
When the end credits rolled, Song Yihuan suddenly felt like crying.
Before the thought even clearly came to mind, tears had already streamed down my face, dripping onto the sofa fabric.
She saw her own confusion reflected in the confusion of Number 22 and Joey, but she couldn't find relief in their ease. After all, they didn't have to carry that ticking time bomb around them, relentlessly urging them on.
It's really stifling.
This stifling feeling turned into a broken rain, soaking her completely.
In the recording studio, she said Chi Ran was negative, that he was only focused on the ending, but wasn't she the same? It's just that at that time, she hadn't seen the ending, while Chi Ran was standing in the midst of it. She was just talking without understanding the situation.
Looking back from the end, everything seems predestined.
Chi Ran suddenly stretched out her hand in front of her, palm up, as if she was about to catch something.
"...What are you doing?" Her voice was very nasal.
"Put your face here," he said. "I'll wipe your tears."
She muttered, "No way."
Chi Ran didn't insist, withdrew her hand, and got up.
"I'll be going now," he said. "...I'll come again tomorrow."
Aside from watching the movie, they barely spoke a word.
He didn't ask anything until he left.
Chi Ran was somewhat familiar with the layout of the living room, so he didn't call her when he left and walked towards the door alone.
He tripped over an old cardboard box on the ground, his knee hitting the corner of the wall. He stood there for a long time, even his breathing stopped.
"...Was the impact very bad?" Song Yihuan asked quickly.
Chi Ran gritted her teeth and endured the pain: "It's not so bad as to break a bone... but it's not so bad as to be painless either."
After crying, Song Yihuan felt much more relaxed and shamelessly curled the corners of her mouth into a smile.
“I know you’re laughing,” he said.
She replied hesitantly, "No..."
He frowned. "When you deny it, at least don't grin like that."
After seeing the person off, Song Yihuan stood there looking at Guoguo's empty room and then at the mess in the living room.
The cardboard box was covered in dust and footprints, and the whole living room was a bit smoky.
She stared at the cardboard box that had tripped over the embers, then gathered all the boxes together and tossed them outside. Cleaning, once started, would continue indefinitely; she collected the trash, swept the floor, and then pulled out the mop.
Guoguo usually mops the floor at home, singing as she does so. She's tone-deaf, short of breath, and incredibly awful; it sounds like chanting, or rather, chanting by a cult…
While tidying up the refrigerator, she found half a huge box of black tiger prawns. Remembering her falling out with Chi Ran, Guoguo's biggest worry was whether she should return the box of prawns...
And then there are the medicine bottles on the coffee table. Obsessive-compulsive Guo strictly follows the order from tallest to shortest, from widest to narrowest, with tallest taking precedence over widest. If she puts them in the wrong order, she gets a lecture from this Mandarin-speaking teacher, who speaks fluent Mandarin, for being disorganized...
Song Yihuan silently cleaned the entire house inside and out, and also silently reviewed the memories of her time with Guoguo.
Those things I couldn't figure out were gradually washed away by the busy work at my hands and the overwhelming, specific memories, and they became less and less noticeable.
As the room became tidier and tidier, she felt more and more relaxed.
The moment it was finished, she looked at the tidy room and suddenly felt completely refreshed, inside and out.
I've figured it out.
The separation was real, but the year spent escaping with Guoguo was also real, and the courage and love were even more real than that.
That's fine then.
Look, even though we're at the end, every second that has passed counts.
Song Yihuan emerged from her daze and, along with the warm spring sunshine, moved back into the spotless room.
When Chi Ran returned the next day, she brought a pretty pink bagel.
"...Was this also made with a high-speed blender?" Song Yihuan asked suspiciously. "It tastes pretty good."
Chi Ran said, "You can't fill the blender too full."
Song Yihuan asked, confused, "What?"
“If it’s too full, it will burn out. Qian Yu is tidying it up. These are Tims.”
As Chi Ran spoke, she raised her finger and pointed, seemingly intending to point at the bagel, but the position she pointed to was completely off.
Song Yihuan slowly chewed the bagel and whispered, "Delicious."
Chi Ran slightly widened her eyes, turned her head, paused for a moment, and then said confidently, "You're all better now."
She pursed her lips, a subtle sweetness melting on her tongue.
On the first day Chi Ran came to see her, she thought that even if he didn't ask, he would still give her a long lecture. Rebellious as ever, she prepared a whole host of excuses and rebuttals in advance.
If he dared to say anything like "I'll stay with you" or "Everyone's just passing through this world," she would definitely shut him down and kick him out.
But from beginning to end, he didn't ask a single question or offer a single word of advice.
Chi Ran is truly pessimistic, and his pessimism makes him exceptionally clear-headed.
Each person is their own prison. People may be similar, but each prison is different.
Like a pioneer in the dark wilderness, he arrived at the end of the gloomy road ahead of others, knowing that the best way to guide the way was not through signal flares, but through waiting.
He waited silently for her to come out on her own and escape the predicament she had confined herself to.
When she came out, he stood at the finish line and said with a smile, "Hey, you're done."
That person is so annoying.
So, at the end of today's unexplained meeting, as the sun set, Song Yihuan took his hand.
"Don't go, stay with me."
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