Chapter 29
When their lips and tongues parted, Song Yihuan felt like she was about to ripen, her cheeks and back trembling and burning hot.
She didn't want to stop, but Chi Ran used a bit of force, lifting her face and forcing her to leave.
She was still nestled against him, and his body was clearly still not fully recovered; his chest was still heaving violently.
Why not continue? Clearly...
Thinking this, Song Yihuan whispered the question in his ear.
Chi Ran's breathing was uneven, but he laughed: "Continue what? There's no name or status involved."
Song Yihuan didn't speak, but pressed her face closer to his.
Chi Ran resisted her forcefully, preventing her from continuing the kiss, and sighed softly, "You don't know how."
After he finished speaking, he gently pinched her cheek and wiped her lips with his thumb to remove any remaining moisture.
"You can?"
Song Yihuan's face was already hot, and now it turned even redder. "You were just holding me, what's the difference between us?"
Chi Ran's ears turned red, and her hot breath carried a hint of a smile: "We're both short in action, about the same as each other."
He sighed deeply: "But... I really should invite you to take a look inside my head."
Song Yihuan, somewhat unconvinced, reached her hand towards his chest and awkwardly slid it down: "You're the short one, so I..."
"Hiss." Chi Ran stopped her from touching him, grabbing both of her wrists with one hand and pinching her chin with the other. "Don't touch me like that. I can't be a giant today. You're just torturing me."
After saying that, before Song Yihuan could do anything else, he pulled her into his arms and pressed her against his chest.
"You haven't been doing anything productive yet," his voice came from above his head. "We need to finalize the music first."
Song Yihuan buried her face in his chest, surrounded by his chaotic heartbeat.
"Shall we talk in this position?"
Chi Ran gently stroked and pressed her head with his hand, saying, "Hmm, let's chat like this, I'm afraid you'll take advantage of me again."
"oh."
The final chosen song was the ancient-style song she had sung harmonies for, "Ku" (枯). Chi Ran revised the composition and arrangement, customizing the style according to her aesthetic, adding a lot of vitality.
Later, they didn't strictly adhere to the rehearsal schedule, and Chi Ran stayed with her all day long.
Occasionally, when she needed to edit videos, Chi Ran would curl up on the beanbag chair behind her, wearing headphones and a gaming mat, and would occasionally offer a smug critique: "You didn't even sing that last line properly, you only had half a breath left, couldn't you..."
Song Yihuan turned her head and cursed, "None of your business!"
Chi Ran spread his hands in a gesture of surrender and said no more.
When the video was released, many fans commented that the last line sounded unpleasant, like someone was holding their breath.
Song Yihuan was even more frustrated and pressed down on Chi Ran, hitting him with a pillow. Chi Ran yelled: "You're beating a disabled person!"
But he only shouted; he didn't reach out to stop them, nor did he make any ambiguous or inappropriate moves like last time.
She could sense that Chi Ran was deliberately keeping his distance, even his kisses were brief and fleeting.
One time, she mustered up the courage to straddle his lap, but he quickly grabbed her hands.
"My little darling." He kissed each of her palms, his ears turning bright red. "You're making me feel uncomfortable."
His meaning was very clear: it wasn't that he didn't want to, but that he couldn't.
The words were phrased perfectly, neither making her feel embarrassed nor allowing her to ask further questions.
Why not? Is a six-year age difference really that important? Then why is kissing allowed?
She felt a mix of longing and disappointment, yet also a sense of contentment, thinking that maintaining the status quo wasn't so bad. After all, taking things a step further might bring unexpected burdens and costs.
She still couldn't figure it out.
She was so engrossed in her life that she forgot all about home until her phone reminded her that it was the anniversary of her father's death in the middle of the month.
“I’m going home on Friday, it’ll be about five days,” Song Yihuan said.
Chi Ran hesitated for a moment, then asked, "Should I stay with you?"
Song Yihuan refused: "I'll go back myself."
The refusal was so decisive that Chi Ran showed a hint of frustration and said sarcastically, "It's really inconvenient to bring a blind person along."
“No…” Song Yihuan quickly explained, “I’ve told you before, my hometown has no mountains, no sea, no rivers. It’s a rather boring little county town, and it’s rapeseed flower season right now, so it smells pretty bad.”
That's all nonsense. Her home is in the county town, but she quite likes it there.
Inside the low-walled brick houses, cured meats hung out to dry, while stray dogs and cats circled around, drooling with envy. Fruit trees covered the hillsides, and everyone knew each other well, so you could grab a handful of dried fruit to eat as you passed by.
She didn't want Chi Ran to accompany her, and the reasons were quite complicated.
It's probably because she always tries to separate Chi Ran from the overly real and raw things in her life.
For example, whenever she receives news related to her aunt, even if Chi Ran can't see her expression, she will deliberately hide in the bathroom to look.
Xin Xin never brings good news, so she always waits until she's calmed down before coming back.
She hoped that Chi Ran and other things would be two parallel lines in her life, never intersecting.
Only in this way can she continue to treat Chi Ran as a beautiful dream and indulge in it peacefully.
A beautiful dream doesn't need a beginning, an end, or to be logical; a beautiful dream is better suited to an abrupt end.
"Okay, I won't go." Chi Ran compromised, tilting her head to ask, "Where do you live?"
Song Yihuan said, "I won't tell you, in case you secretly come looking for me."
Chi Ran didn't ask any more questions, and said with a hint of resentment, "Then I won't tell you where I'm from."
“You’re a local,” she pointed out ruthlessly.
Chi Ran, with a sour face, said, "Song Xiaofen, are you still going to rehearse? Why do you love to chat so much?"
“If you don’t like to chat, how would I know you’re a local?” Song Yihuan muttered softly.
Chi Ran's hands landed on the piano keys, using the music to shut out her dissatisfied complaints.
She had just finished playing two sections when her phone rang.
"Yes...it's my mom, I'll take it."
As she said this, a bad feeling rose in her heart, and she even dragged her steps as she walked out.
Chi Ran grabbed her hand as she tried to pull away, saying, "I'll wait for you here."
He squeezed her hand, then let go.
She slipped on her slippers, walked to the balcony, and closed the door. She was so slow that the phone call had already automatically ended.
She quietly breathed a sigh of relief, staring blankly at her phone.
Before long, the screen lit up with a message from Ms. Wang.
I came back to see my aunt off.
Ms. Wang sometimes avoided the prophecy to an almost heartless degree. She didn't say that her aunt had passed away, nor did she say that her aunt had left. She didn't state any facts, but just told her to go back.
She said she was seeing her aunt off.
Sending her off is as if it could send death away with her.
Song Yihuan stood there for a long time, unable to tell whether what made her feel worse was her aunt's expected departure or Ms. Wang's words themselves.
The air was filled with the sharp honking of horns. Their balcony faced the road, and there was always traffic congestion downstairs, with drivers constantly honking their horns in a fit of frustration.
She and Guoguo used to love watching the drama unfold, always sticking their heads out and gesturing wildly as if they were playing a puzzle game with the terrible road conditions downstairs.
Such sounds are rare in her hometown; in her mind, this is the city's lament, like a noisy, immature baby.
She thought to herself, "I'll wait until the car that honked drives away."
Once the car was freed, she called Ms. Wang back.
Before the thought could even fully cross his mind twice, Ms. Wang called again.
Sigh, there's not a single trace of the unspoken understanding between mother and daughter.
She sighed and answered the phone.
"I've bought your ticket. You'll be back tomorrow, and I can visit your dad."
When the call connected, Ms. Wang didn't care whether she had seen the message or knew about her aunt's situation; she just blurted out that question.
Song Yihuan didn't have the energy to argue with her, and simply asked, "...When?"
"Why is this child so disobedient tomorrow?" Ms. Wang muttered to herself.
Song Yihuan opened her mouth, then closed it again, letting out a long breath before asking, "I was asking when my aunt left, not when I..."
"Don't talk nonsense, kid," Ms. Wang said quickly. "I've given you your ticket. Pack your things and hurry home."
She hung up immediately after speaking, leaving her bewildered, trying to recall what she had said wrong to elicit such a strong reaction from Ms. Wang.
It took Ms. Wang a while to realize that the last question she asked, which put herself and her sister-in-law in the same sentence, was somewhat ambiguous, and Ms. Wang neither wanted to hear it nor dared to.
After hanging up the phone, she kept her head pressed against the window.
The stuck, irritable car still hadn't gotten out. She waited for ages, her forehead turning cold and red from the heat, and the congestion downstairs hadn't been cleared either.
never mind.
Thinking this, she turned around and walked back, leaving the noisy and piercing horn behind, to go find her sweet dream.
As soon as the door opened, Chi Ran stood in the center, tilting his head to listen to her voice.
"My aunt..."
As soon as she spoke, she was startled by the indifference in her tone and stopped talking.
Chi Ran stretched out her arms and whispered, "I'll hug you."
The moment she nestled into his arms, she heard her own belated sobs.
The room was far from the noisy road, so there were no horns to be heard, only her own panting sobs, occasionally mixed with Chi Ran's very low breathing.
After a long time, the world returned to silence.
She said, "I have to go back to see my dad... and my aunt."
Chi Ran whispered, "Auntie...is your father's sister?"
She mumbled a vague "hmm".
When he suddenly mentioned this blood relationship, Song Yihuan, perhaps harboring a secret of inherited misfortune, felt guilty and suddenly became a little nervous.
Chi Ran took a breath and said softly, "Then... it's not just a farewell, it's also a reunion."
As he said this, she suddenly felt a chill on the top of her head.
She looked up in surprise. Before she could see, Chi Ran quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeve, and when he put them down, his eyes were still empty, clean, and grayish.
She reached out and touched his face. "Not only do you close your eyes to sleep, but you also cry?"
Chi Ran denied it: "A blind person can't cry."
"Alright," Song Yihuan said.
"Song Xiaofen," Chi Ran suddenly called her.
"Um?"
“But the blind man can play the erhu, and he can also play ‘Erquan Yingyue’,” he said.
Song Yihuan knew he was trying to make her happy, so she tried her best to force a smile.
He pinched her cheek and said, "I'll wait for you here."
I'll be waiting for you right here.
Song Yihuan had just boarded the high-speed train when she received a message from Chi Ran, containing the same phrase.
She really liked that sentence; it gave her something to look forward to, like when she was a child sitting on the bus on a school trip, or like when Chi Ran told her that she should look forward to her birthday present.
In this respect, Chi Ran has an innate romantic talent. He knows so well how to arouse other people's expectations and make them inevitably look forward to the beautiful things related to him.
When she was with Chi Ran, she could always sense the remaining traces of how he had been favored and pampered by fate in these little things.
This is terrible.
Once she snapped out of her reverie, her thinking suddenly became cold and realistic, devoid of that silly sweetness. All that remained was the overflowing fat of the chubby uncle next door, spilling over the handrail, and the greasy smell of instant noodles that made her nauseous throughout the carriage.
She sat by the window, propping her chin up as she gazed at the scenery that seemed to come and go, listening to the deafening roar of the train. For a moment, a fear mixed with guilt arose within her.
The train roared past, carrying her from here to there.
There is a debt here, and a debt there.
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