Chapter 36
Song Yihuan caught a chill.
Fortunately, she didn't have a fever, and based on past experience, it wasn't serious enough to require medication. Her main symptoms were fluctuating temperatures and a slightly itchy and sore throat, but nothing serious.
She messaged Chi Ran in the middle of the night, feeling dizzy, saying that she had caught a cold and was not feeling well. She had already informed the coordinator that she would be two hours late for the rehearsal, arriving at 7:00, and told them to go ahead first.
According to the original plan, he would see the message the next morning, but for some reason he didn't sleep and rushed over to be with her that night.
"Let's go again tomorrow afternoon." Chi Ran sat on the floor beside her bed, resting his chin on the bed, holding her hand. "Both of us."
Song Yihuan could see that he was still somewhat guilty, but she still greedily traced his outline with her eyes.
"It's not that serious, you'll be fine after a good night's sleep."
"There are only a few hours left until 7 o'clock, and I'm not getting enough sleep," Chi Ran said. "The band stars have to keep coming back and forth this morning, so we can't rehearse properly. We'll go this afternoon."
"All right."
Song Yihuan gently placed her fingers on the bridge of his nose, sliding them down repeatedly.
"Go to sleep," Chi Ran said, resting his chin on his hand.
"What about you?" Song Yihuan asked. "The floor is cold and hard. Go to Guoguo's room. I have a set of sheets and blankets."
Chi Ran shook her head, raised an eyebrow, and asked, "Can't I even stay with you?"
Song Yihuan thought for a moment, then moved closer and tugged at his hand, "I'll share half with you."
"He sat on the ground, and his pants were dirty."
Chi Ran stretched out his hand and held her hand, but didn't move.
"Then take it off..." Song Yihuan said without thinking much, and regretted it afterward.
"You've been chatting all day." Chi Ran smiled helplessly. "I'm going to change my clothes and then I'll come back and lie down with you."
He was already very familiar with her house, and he easily walked out after only a few attempts to brace himself against the wall.
Song Yihuan waited quietly in the darkness, where unease grew.
The more Chi Ran cared for her, the more uneasy Qian Yu would become, and the more likely he would let something slip.
With a mix of anxiety and a "what's the use" attitude, she waited.
After a while, the combination lock beeped, and Chi Ran quietly walked in.
"I didn't sleep," she said.
Hearing her say that, he quickened his pace and walked over, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
He changed into a dark green loungewear set, a look she had never seen before. Even when they met at home, he usually wore his usual clothes, rarely dressed like this.
The fabric of his loungewear was soft and draped beautifully. He must have taken a shower before bed, as his hair was still damp and soft from head to toe.
Seeing this tender side of him was so intimate that he felt a little embarrassed. His ears turned red as he sat on the edge of the bed, and he raised his hand to brush the hair behind his head.
After a few strokes, as if it were unbalanced, he started stroking her head again, with more force, in a strangely intimate way.
Song Yihuan looked at him with almost greedy eyes, her heart softening completely, leaving her with no rationality.
"Sleep with me." She moved further in, gesturing for him to lie down.
"You're sick, so I'll let you have your way."
He said it jokingly, but his ears turned red when he lay down.
Since he didn't have a pillow on his outside, he turned to his side and rested his head on his arm, facing her.
"Go to sleep."
His shallow breaths brushed against her face, a warm, ticklish sensation.
Almost instinctively, Song Yihuan followed the scent of pine wood and slowly approached.
As soon as she moved, the fabric rustled, and Chi Ran instinctively stepped back.
She stood frozen in place, supporting herself.
Chi Ran tilted his head as if to listen, and after listening for a while, he raised his hand to touch her face.
"Little pufferfish, don't be angry about this." He gently lifted her head and placed it back on the pillow, his breathing unsteady. "We really can't do anything else in this position. You're still sick, and I can't take it."
"Can't I even hug you?" Song Yihuan persisted.
"Especially not." Chi Ran sighed. "Go to sleep."
Song Yihuan blinked but didn't say anything.
Chi Ran touched her face, propped himself up, and pecked her cheek with a quick kiss.
"Go to sleep, my ancestor."
Chi Ran's voice was hoarse, devoid of any laughter.
She clutched his soft sleeve and gradually fell asleep to the sound of his deep breathing.
She woke up once in the middle of the night with back pain. She took her painkillers too late that night, so she figured it would take a while for the pain to subside.
When she woke up, she was facing away from Chi Ran, so she simply turned over to look at him.
Chi Ran was an unexpectedly good sleeper, still curled up with her arm as a pillow, looking pitiful in her rather short bed.
She was still holding onto the hem of Chi Ran's sleeve with her right hand. The sleeve had already slipped down to his elbow, and her hand was practically resting against his chest.
His heartbeat was very faint when he was asleep; she couldn't feel it even with her hand against his chest. She quietly flattened her palm and placed it against his chest.
one time......
One moment... one moment...
He was such an impatient person, yet his heartbeat was unusually slow, with intervals longer than a second; she found it almost drowsy to listen to.
The clock on the wall ticked away noisily, but my slow, simmering heartbeat was more gentle than the ticking of the clock.
His heartbeat gently blended into the ticking, like a lullaby. She greedily pressed her hand closer until her palm beat in sync with his heartbeat.
That day, beside the antique piano, the movement of his fingertips, transmitted through the vibrations of the piano, stirred up waves of passion that reached deep into her heart.
At that moment, his chest vibrated peacefully and powerfully, and without needing to use the piano as an excuse, her hand went directly to him.
"Hmm..." Chi Ran frowned, letting out a sigh-like hum.
Song Yihuan thought he was getting impatient from being harassed, so she quickly and gently withdrew her hand. But before she could even pull it halfway back, his hand covered hers again, pressing her hand back against his chest.
He used very light force, and his movements were sluggish, like someone half-asleep.
Then, he grabbed her hand and pulled it up, making a kissing motion on her hand.
Actually, I didn't get a kiss. He was still asleep. I was halfway through the kiss when I was overcome by sleepiness. My hands were clasped together, but I gave up halfway through.
"...You didn't get a kiss."
Song Yihuan spoke in a barely audible whisper, so naturally he didn't hear her.
Even though it was the first time they had slept in the same bed, his movements were as natural as an instinctive reaction.
A certain sour feeling slowly welled up inside.
"I'm sorry." Song Yihuan didn't say anything this time. "I'm sorry."
She said it twice silently, as if she were being coquettish.
Actually, it was useless; the reluctance, guilt, and grievances didn't lessen at all.
After dawdling for so long, the painkillers finally took effect, and an overwhelming sense of drowsiness washed over me.
The ticking of the needle and the rhythm of her heartbeat intertwined, and she was slowly pulled into a dream, unaware of anything.
When Song Yihuan opened her eyes again, it was almost eleven o'clock. She nervously cleared her throat and found that the pain in her throat had subsided.
It seems she didn't catch a cold; she was just very tired these past two days. A good night's sleep will do the trick.
Chi Ran wasn't beside her, the bed was empty, and last night's tender moments, devoid of passion, seemed like just a dream.
"Good morning." She sent a voice message to Chi Ran.
As soon as the voice message was sent, a "ding-dong" sound was heard at the door, followed by the sound of entering the door password.
"It's getting late. If your message had been even a second later, I would have started banging on the door."
As Chi Ran walked in, he took off his headphones. He had already changed into his outdoor clothes and was no longer wearing the soft, dark green pajamas.
Song Yihuan sighed softly with regret, then composed herself and asked with a smile, "Are we leaving yet?"
"Hmm, are you feeling better?" Chi Ran asked.
"I feel refreshed." She smiled and stretched.
Chi Ran waved the plastic bag in her hand at her: "Osmanthus cake and pig buns, want some?"
"Eat, I'm so hungry."
She reached out to take it, but even though Chi Ran couldn't see it, she still nimbly pulled her hand back.
"If you want to eat, hurry up and wash up. The coordinator has been scolding me for half an hour. I'll wait for you in my car downstairs. We can eat on the way."
Song Yihuan sniffed the fragrance, muttering resentfully, "You're the one who insisted on taking leave, and you're the one who kept nagging me..."
"What should I say?" Chi Ran shook his breakfast again.
"Eat," Song Yihuan said decisively.
Chi Ran was taken aback by her retort, then laughed: "What is this... is it that you should thank your brother Chi Ran for breakfast?"
Not content with just teasing him, Song Yihuan continued with a laugh, "You're the one who thinks being six years older is half a cycle, but you're the one who wants to call Chi Ran 'brother'..."
Chi Ran pretended to chase after her, but she rushed into the bathroom in a few steps, and laughter spilled out as soon as the door closed.
Song Yihuan turned on the tap, looked down at the water, and listened to the splashing sound.
Even without doing anything, the morning after sleeping head to head together carries a touch of warm, everyday comfort.
The plastic bag contained steaming hot breakfast, which he gripped tightly, leaving a few small wrinkles at the opening. His urging meant he was in a hurry, but his tone was lazy and playful. This was their playful banter, tinged with amusement, after getting up and before washing up…
These were all such ordinary little things, the kind of unremarkable things that are hard to remember. So she went through every detail in her mind again and again, quietly keeping this ordinary yet extraordinary morning to herself.
For dinner, Song Yihuan, as usual, didn't take the greasy boxed lunch, but instead ate the bagel that Chi Ran had bought.
Qian Yu sat at the table in the break room with his boxed lunch in hand, staring at her without saying a word, his face extremely unpleasant.
If Chi Ran hadn't been blind, he probably would have been exposed long ago.
Song Yihuan buried her head in eating her bagel, deliberately avoiding Qian Yu's gaze.
"Two teachers—"
There was a knock on the door of the lounge, and a girl with chestnut hair wearing a mask poked her head in. "We need to touch up my makeup for some footage later... Oh, are you guys still eating?"
She turned to another tall, thin girl and said, "Ah Jie, let's come back later."
"It's okay, I've finished eating." Song Yihuan saw Chi Ran slowly looking for the lid of his lunchbox on the table, so she reached out and took it to him to close the lid.
"Thank you, little sister," she said with a smile, wearing a chestnut-colored mask. "Now that we've finished repairing it, we won't have to run back and forth anymore."
The woman wearing the maroon mask is Chi Ran's makeup artist, named Jiu Jiu. Another woman, A Jie, is also her makeup artist.
Song Yihuan hadn't actually finished eating, but bagels don't matter whether they're hot or cold; she could just finish eating them in small bites.
She was always sweating, and her makeup would smudge quickly. A-Jie's workload was clearly greater than Jiu-Jiu's; Jiu-Jiu would come once, but she would have to come twice. She felt really bad about making A-Jie go through all that trouble.
Moreover, Qian Yu's stare was irritating her, so having two other people around would give her a break and make him more restrained.
"My makeup has smudged on my forehead again," Song Yihuan said in a guilty voice.
"It's no big deal." A-Jie smiled gently, her little finger resting on her face with the cushion.
When A-Jie smiled, it was obvious that her eyes were very red and swollen, and there was some transparency in the center of her lower eyelids.
"What's wrong? You don't think I'm too much of a hassle, do you..." Song Yihuan was just teasing her, and A-Jie burst out laughing as soon as she said it.
"You're easy to talk to and fun to be around. I'm always looking forward to coming to see you."
Since A-Jie didn't say anything, Song Yi-Huan didn't press her further. She followed her instructions to open and close her eyes, hold her breath, and look up, but she couldn't help but look into A-Jie's eyes.
After being looked at a few times, A-Jie smiled helplessly and whispered, "Let's break up."
A polite person would stop asking at this point, but Song Yihuan was really curious and couldn't help but ask after holding back for a while: "How were they divided?"
A-Jie was clearly surprised by her question. She paused for a moment before laughing and saying, "So curious? You've never been in a relationship, have you? Well, you're only twenty, you're not busy."
Song Yihuan subconsciously looked towards Chi Ran. He was being pressed down by Jiu Jiu to apply powder, so he wasn't looking at her, but he subtly tilted his head towards her.
Qian Yu raised his head and looked at her with a very complicated expression.
What are you looking at? Who cares?
Song Yihuan was so caught up in her curiosity that she didn't realize how many people were around. She whispered to A-Jie, "Sister, I'll come find you later. Can you secretly satisfy my curiosity?"
As A-Jie applied lip gloss to her lips, she laughed and said, "It's okay to talk about this here. My boyfriend and I had a good chat, and we realized we weren't a good match, so we broke up."
"Bullshit!" Jiu Jiu suddenly roared, "Don't try to make excuses for that scumbag! What do you mean 'not quite right'! It's been over ten years since you realized it wasn't right!"
Her voice was so loud that Chi Ran instinctively backed away.
Jiu Jiu immediately became embarrassed: "Ah... Brother Ran, I'm sorry, I was just too angry, I was a bit overreacting..."
Chi Ran shook her head and said, "It's nothing, let's talk about you guys."
He still wasn't used to it; the more people around, the more insecure he felt, and the less he talked.
Wow, they're talking about it for ten years.
Song Yihuan rode her wheeled chair closer to Chi Ran. She seemed to be going to gossip with Jiu Jiu, but actually she moved closer to him, pressing her knees against his through the fabric to let him know she was there.
Chi Ran let her stay close, and secretly smiled.
When she leaned closer, Qian Yu's expression indeed became even uglier, but she pretended not to notice.
A-Jie patiently chased after her and pressed her down on the chair to stop her from moving around.
"He's not exactly a scumbag, he didn't cheat or have an affair, he just told me we weren't a good match." As A-Jie spoke, she didn't stop working.
Jiu Jiu, who was already finished, put her hands on her hips and said, "I didn't think it was incompatible for ten years, but now that you're talking about marriage, it's incompatible? You're such a jerk!"
“…Jiu Jiu is even angrier than me.” A Jie looked haggard, and her smile made her look even more haggard. “He said he hadn’t thought it through before, but he’s come to his senses recently. Many people say that if you’ve been dating for a long time, you’re unlikely to get married. If you could get married, you would have done so already.”
Jiu Jiu angrily squeezed her beauty blender, frowning as she said, "Does it take ten years to figure out that I don't want to get married? To put it bluntly, he's a scumbag, using marriage as a carrot to dangle people around. Scumbag!!"
A-Jie and Jiu-Jiu didn't deliberately hide from them; they chatted back and forth.
At the beginning of their relationship, A-Jie's ex-boyfriend was a meticulous and considerate person, but when they broke up, he said they weren't compatible and there was no spark, and he decisively ended their long-term relationship.
Song Yihuan really wanted to join the conversation, but she simply didn't have any similar experience. Whether it was marriage, long-term relationships, or even relationships themselves, she had no insights whatsoever; her mind felt blank, filled with question marks.
She listened silently for a while before she couldn't help but sigh, "Ten years is too long... What was it like?"
After thinking for a moment, A-Jie smiled and said, "Maybe it's because holding hands is like holding your own left hand with your right. You feel that the other person is more like a decoration in your home than a partner. You don't need to pay special attention to them; they're always there."
Song Yihuan pressed further, "Then... from what moment did it start to become like this?"
"There's no such clear timeframe. You've really never been in a relationship, have you, little sister?" Jiu Jiu looked at her with a smile. "It all fades away slowly over time, it's hard to notice."
How could that be?
How could you not notice the huge difference between passion and indifference?
Every minute is spent by myself.
Thinking this to herself, Song Yihuan asked the question aloud.
"You're too young, little sister."
"So cute..."
Jiu Jiu and A Jie both laughed, and A Jie even reached out to pinch her cheek, but neither of them gave her an answer.
What does it feel like to be in love for ten years?
What does it feel like to go from intense excitement to calm?
They didn't give an answer until they left.
Song Yihuan was stunned for a moment, then turned to look at Chi Ran. He was frowning, seemingly lost in thought.
She reached out and placed her hand on the back of his hand.
She wasn't thinking about anything, she just suddenly felt a strong urge to hold him.
Chi Ran relaxed his furrowed brows, smiled at her, and squeezed his ten fingers between hers to hold hers.
Song Yihuan subconsciously looked up at Qian Yu sitting behind her. Whenever she was even slightly intimate with Chi Ran, Qian Yu's expression would turn very unpleasant.
If nothing unexpected happens, his gaze will turn reproachful again, and he will glare at her with annoyance.
But when their eyes met, it wasn't like that at all.
The moment their eyes met, Qian Yu lowered his gaze, turned his chair so his back was to her, and cleared his throat in a low voice.
The wheels slid along on their own, rolling around.
Qian Yu turned his face toward the wall, not daring to look at her.
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