newborn
Xu Ying stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, her fingertips unconsciously rubbing the scar on the inside of her left wrist.
The scar was very shallow, almost invisible, as if it had been lightly cut by something sharp and healed hastily. Only she knew that it was from a shard of a ceramic cup that Zong Heng had given her five years ago when she broke it.
Her silhouette was reflected in the glass window—a black turtleneck sweater, tailored suit trousers, long hair loosely tied back, with a wisp of hair falling beside her ear. Her features were sharper than five years ago, her jawline was defined, and her lips were very pale, almost bloodless.
"Director Xu, the client is very satisfied with the proposal, but hopes the logo can be a bit more 'lively'." Assistant Xiao Zhou pushed open the door, holding a stack of documents in his hands, his tone cautious.
Xu Ying didn't turn around, but simply hummed softly, her fingers still resting on the scar.
Xiao Zhou swallowed hard, then added with a forced smile, "The client said they wanted the color to be brighter, preferably with a touch of 'youthfulness'..."
The pen nib drew a sharp zigzag line on the paper. Xu Ying finally turned around, a faint smile playing on her lips: "Youthfulness?"
Her voice was soft, yet as cold as ice.
Xiao Zhou tensed up instantly.
Xu Ying slowly closed the pen, the metal cap making a soft "click" sound.
"Tell them to either respect the design with a professional eye, or replace them."
Xiao Zhou practically fled in panic.
The office fell silent again. Xu Ying walked to her desk and tapped her fingertips lightly on the surface. Five years ago, she would never have spoken like this—back then, she would carefully consider her words even when refusing someone, afraid of hurting their self-esteem.
But now, she's too lazy to accommodate anyone anymore.
Neon lights flickered outside the window, and cruise ships slowly passed by on the Huangpu River, their dazzling lights reflected on the water. She raised her hand to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, and a very thin silver chain around her neck swayed slightly, its pendant hidden under her collar, its true appearance concealed.
Nobody in the company knew what that chain was, just as nobody knew that this young, aloof design director would stand alone on the balcony late at night, raising a glass of red wine towards the California night sky.
"Did Director Xu lash out at a client again today?" Several interns huddled together in the break room, whispering among themselves.
"I heard the other party is the daughter of a real estate group, and Director Xu's single word 'replace her' left her looking ashen..."
"But the client eventually compromised and didn't even change the plan."
"Nonsense, who is Director Xu? She won the gold medal at last year's Milan Design Fair, is one of the top 3 emerging designers in China, and countless brands are lining up to take on her projects..."
"But she's so cold. I've been working here for three months and I've never seen her smile."
Shh—I heard she has someone in her heart.
Who is it?
"I don't know, but it's said that... it's been many years."
The glass door was suddenly pushed open, and everyone fell silent instantly.
Xu Ying stood at the door, holding a coffee cup in her hand, her expression unreadable.
The interns forced stiff smiles: "Hello, Director Xu..."
She nodded slightly, walked straight to the coffee machine, and pressed the button.
The bitter aroma of black coffee filled the air. She stared at the dark brown liquid in the cup and suddenly spoke:
"The design department doesn't tolerate idlers. If I hear you gossiping during work hours again—"
She paused, then looked up and scanned the crowd.
"Go directly to the HR department to pick up your resignation form."
One o'clock in the morning.
The rain outside the window looked like it was going to flood the whole city.
Xu Ying stood before the floor-to-ceiling window, her fingertips pressed against the cold glass. Rainwater swirled and twisted outside, reflecting her blurry shadow. She hadn't turned on the lights; only the cold light from her laptop illuminated her face. On the screen was the invitation to Milan Design Week she had just received—another peak in her career. Yet, she stared blankly at the email, her fingers hovering over the keyboard, unable to reply.
"bite."
The phone screen lit up, and a message from her mother popped up:
"Yingying, the young master of the Lu family has just returned from England. He comes from a good family and is very mature. You two are about the same age..."
The accompanying photo shows a well-dressed man smiling, looking impeccable.
Xu Ying didn't open the larger image; she dialed the number directly.
"Mom," she said calmly, "I've told you before, I have someone in my heart."
There was a two-second silence on the other end of the phone, followed by the mother's suppressed sobs: "Five years! Xu Ying, five years! If he really cared about you, would he not even make a single phone call? Would he not send you any news at all?"
Xu Ying didn't say anything, she just gripped her phone tightly.
"How much longer are you going to do this?" The mother's voice finally broke down. "Are you going to wait until you're thirty, forty? Until he gets married and has children, before you'll finally let yourself go?!"
Xu Ying's breathing paused slightly, but her tone remained calm: "Mom, I know very well what I'm doing."
"What do you know?!" the mother practically screamed. "You don't even know if he's still alive!"
These words were like a knife, stabbing sharply into my heart.
Xu Ying's fingers trembled slightly, but she simply said softly, "I'm hanging up."
The phone call ended, and only the sound of rain hitting the glass remained in the room.
She walked to the desk and pulled open the bottom drawer.
Inside lay a rusty iron box, its edges faded as if it had been repeatedly handled. She took a deep breath and lifted the lid—
A plane ticket with charred edges.
July 16, 2018, Shanghai → San Francisco.
That was the day she had originally planned to fly to see him.
But that day, his last email contained only one line:
"Xu Ying, wait for me to take care of everything."
Then, he disappeared completely.
There was also a dried cherry blossom specimen in the tin box, which Zongheng picked up from under the cherry blossom tree at school and gave to her during their senior year of high school.
“Xu Ying, cherry blossoms have a short blooming period, but they can last a long time if dried.” He smiled roguishly at the time, “Just like my love for you, it won’t be short-lived.”
She once thought that their relationship would be like this cherry blossom, never rotting even if it dried up.
Five years have passed, and the petals are now so fragile that they would crumble into powder at the slightest touch.
At the very bottom of the metal box was an old cell phone that had long been switched off.
She stared at it for a long time, but ultimately didn't have the courage to press the power button.
Xu Ying stood up, walked to the wine cabinet, casually picked up a bottle of red wine, and without even taking a glass, took a sip directly from the bottle.
The burning sensation in her throat from the alcohol made her frown slightly, but soon, the familiar numbing sensation spread, as if she could finally breathe.
She walked to the bookshelf, her fingertips tracing the rows of professional books, finally stopping at a book in the far corner called "A Visual History of Architecture".
She hadn't touched this book in a long time.
She slowly pulled it out; tucked between the pages was a yellowed photograph.
On the day of their senior year graduation ceremony, the whole class was having a blast on the playground. Someone bought a cream cake, and Zongheng, taking advantage of her inattention, smeared a piece on the tip of her nose.
In the photo, she glared at him angrily, while he laughed wildly, his fingers still covered in cream, as if he was about to launch another sneak attack at any moment.
Xu Ying gently stroked his face in the photo with her fingertips.
Snap.
A drop of water hit the photographic paper, blurring the boy's smile.
She paused for a second before realizing those were her own tears.
The rain outside the window was getting heavier and heavier, as if it would drown the whole world.
Xu Ying took a deep breath, stuffed the photo back into the book, and closed it again.
Then, I picked up the wine bottle and went straight to the balcony.
The cold rain lashed her face, mingling with her tears, making them indistinguishable.
She raised the bottle, facing the dark night sky, and softly said:
"Zong Heng, this is the last cup."
"To you."
"Respect us."
"That's enough for now."
She tilted her head back, downed the last mouthful of wine, and then smashed the bottle against the wall in the distance.
"Bang!"
The sound of shattering glass was drowned out by the rain, just like her five-year wait, which ultimately ended in silence.
——
Xu Ying's fingertips were gently tapping the rim of the coffee cup, but the customer's voice seemed to come through a layer of frosted glass.
"Zongshi Technology has been making great strides in the AI field recently, and their CEO, Zong Heng..."
"Smack—"
The porcelain cup slipped from her fingers and shattered on the marble floor, scattering shards everywhere. Black coffee spilled out, like a pool of dried blood.
"Director Xu!" the client exclaimed, quickly handing over a tissue.
Xu Ying felt rooted to the spot, her ears ringing. For five years, she had forced herself not to search that name, not to read any financial news, and even to avoid any occasions that might involve him. But now, he had unexpectedly crashed into her world through someone else's words.
"Are you alright?" the customer asked cautiously.
She looked down and found her fingers trembling slightly. A shard had cut her fingertip, and blood was seeping out, but she felt no pain.
"Sorry." She finally found her voice, but it was incredibly hoarse. "I'm going to the restroom."
She practically fled in panic.
Her pale face was reflected in the bathroom mirror.
Xu Ying gripped the edge of the sink tightly, her knuckles turning white. Cold water gushed over her fingers, diluting the blood into a pale pink, which then disappeared into the drain.
She looked up and saw that the woman in the mirror had red eyes, but stubbornly bit her lower lip, refusing to let the tears fall.
"Five years, give me five years."
Zong Heng's voice suddenly exploded in my mind, so clear it seemed to be right next to my ear. In that overseas phone call, his voice was hoarse and tired, yet it carried an undeniable firmness.
But five years have passed, and what has he given her?
There was only a cold email, a vague "Wait for me to sort everything out," followed by a long, suffocating silence.
She abruptly turned off the faucet, and the sound of water stopped abruptly.
The woman in the mirror twitched the corners of her mouth, revealing a smile that was almost self-deprecating.
"Xu Ying, you're ridiculous."
She said to herself.
When she returned to her seat, the client was anxiously flipping through the proposal. Seeing her return, he quickly stood up: "Director Xu, your hand..."
"It's nothing," she interrupted, her voice already calm, as if her earlier outburst had never happened.
She waved to the waiter and ordered another black coffee, without sugar.
The customer hesitated for a moment, then tentatively began to speak:
"You... know President Zong?"
Xu Ying's fingertips paused on the rim of the cup for a second, then she casually picked up the coffee and took a sip.
"Not familiar with her," she said casually.
The bitterness spread across my tongue, much like every sleepless night of the past five years.
The client seemed relieved and smiled, "That's perfect. He'll also be attending next week's cocktail party. If you're interested, I can introduce you..."
Xu Ying put down the cup, and the bottom of the cup collided with the porcelain plate, making a soft sound.
"I will be there on time for the party."
Her tone was eerily calm.
As I stepped out of the coffee shop, dusk was falling on the Bund.
Xu Ying stood by the street waiting for a car. The night breeze ruffled her hair, carrying the chill of early autumn. She subconsciously pulled her collar tighter, her fingertips touching the silver chain between her collarbones. The cold metal pressed against her skin like an invisible shackle.
In the distance, the huge LED screen suddenly changed its display.
"Zongshi Technology officially completed its acquisition of Yuanzhou Group today, with CEO Zong Heng attending the signing ceremony..."
Her breath hitched.
On the screen, the man wore a sharp-tailored black suit, his eyebrows and eyes still sharp as knives, but he had lost the arrogance of his youth and gained a more unfathomable coldness.
As he bowed his head to sign, the camera zoomed in—
He wore a platinum ring on his ring finger.
Xu Ying's world spun around in that instant.
The car arrived, and the driver honked the horn.
She opened the car door and left without looking back.
Behind her, the news on the big screen continued to play. Zong Heng raised her head, her gaze passing through the lens as if traversing five years of time, piercing straight into her heart.
"Xu Ying, you owe me five years."
His voice rang in her ears, like a judgment, or a curse.
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