Stargazing from the rooftop
Evening self-study at Nangang No.1 Middle School always starts at 6:30 pm and continues until 9 pm. In June, it gets dark late, and there is still a trace of twilight outside the window, but the incandescent lights in the classroom are already dazzlingly bright, nailing everyone's shadow to the desk, like a body whose soul has been drained by knowledge.
Xu Ying sat by the window, her fingertips unconsciously tracing the edge of the exam paper. The last big question on the math final exam had been troubling her for twenty minutes. The dense formulas on her scratch paper were like a tangled mess of threads, impossible to unravel. She gently bit her lower lip, her pen tapping the paper again and again, but she still couldn't find a breakthrough.
"Thud—"
A bead of sweat slid down her forehead, landing on the exam paper and spreading into a small puddle. There was no air conditioning in the classroom, only a few old electric fans creaking overhead, blowing hot air. Xu Ying raised her hand to wipe the sweat, her eyes unconsciously glancing to her side—
Zong Heng's seat was empty.
He skipped class again.
Since the homeroom teacher announced the final exam schedule last week, Zong Heng has been skipping evening self-study sessions more and more frequently. Sometimes he simply climbs over the school wall to leave, and sometimes he hides on the rooftop. In short, he always finds a way to avoid being watched by the teachers.
Li Xiao, sitting in the front row, turned around and lowered her voice: "Xu Ying, have you figured out the last question?"
Xu Ying shook her head and said softly, "Not yet."
“Zong Heng will definitely…” Li Xiao pursed her lips and glanced meaningfully at the empty seat. “He got a perfect score in math on the last monthly exam, and the teacher suspected him of cheating.”
Xu Ying didn't reply, but just kept her head down and continued working on the problem.
Cheating?
She recalled last week's math class when the teacher gave an advanced question, and only Zong Heng raised his hand. He stood lazily in front of the blackboard, tapping the chalk away, writing three lines of formula, and then simply throwing the answer down without even bothering to write out the steps. The teacher stared at him for a few seconds, finally managing to utter only, "The answer is correct."
He didn't need to cheat at all.
"Bang!"
The back door of the classroom was suddenly pushed open and slammed against the wall with a dull thud.
Xu Ying paused, her pen still, without looking up, but her back straightened involuntarily.
"Hey, Heng-ge's back?" A few boys in the back row greeted him with smiles.
"Get lost, stop bothering me." Zong Heng's voice was clearly irritated. His footsteps approached from afar and finally stopped next to Xu Ying.
Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of a hand—its knuckles were distinct, and there was a faint scar on the second knuckle of its index and middle fingers, a remnant of the last fight. The hand casually pulled out a chair, and Zong Heng sat down heavily, bringing with him a slightly warm breeze, carrying a faint scent of mint.
He didn't look at her or say anything. He just leaned back, stretched his long legs out into the aisle, and closed his eyes to rest.
Xu Ying's pen tip unconsciously drew a line on the paper.
"Hey, Heng-ge, are we going to the rooftop again tonight?" a boy in the back row asked in a low voice.
Zong Heng didn't even lift his eyelids: "None of your business."
"The teacher just came by and asked where you were."
"so?"
"Uh...we said you went to the bathroom."
Zong Heng chuckled, finally opened his eyes, and glanced at the other person sideways: "Thanks."
The boy immediately waved his hand, flattered, "It's nothing, it's nothing!"
Xu Ying's eyelashes trembled, but she still didn't look up, though she gripped the pen in her hand even tighter.
The bell rang suddenly, and the classroom instantly came alive with a cacophony of voices, the sound of chairs being pulled out, and books being closed.
Xu Ying slowly packed up the test papers, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Zong Heng stand up, pick up his school uniform jacket and throw it over his shoulder, and walk straight towards the back door.
"Heng-ge! Wait for me!" Several boys in the back row immediately followed.
Xu Ying's fingers unconsciously traced the edge of the test paper until the noise in the classroom gradually subsided, at which point she finally looked up.
He went to the rooftop again.
This realization stirred up a strange restlessness within her.
She took a deep breath, closed her notebook, stuffed the exam paper into the drawer, and then stood up.
The lights in the corridor were dimmer than in the classroom, and the night breeze slipped in through the cracks in the windows, carrying the warmth and humidity unique to a summer night. Xu Ying's footsteps were light, like a cat, silently crossing the empty corridor, finally stopping in front of the iron door leading to the rooftop.
The door wasn't locked.
She reached out and pushed the door, and the rusty hinges creaked.
The night breeze rushed towards me, carrying the scent of freedom.
Xu Ying stood at the door, hesitated for a second, and then stepped out.
A night breeze swept across the rooftop, carrying the warmth unique to a summer night and a hint of barely perceptible coolness. In the distance, neon lights painted the city skyline with vibrant colors, while the night sky above was dotted with only a few scattered stars, twinkling faintly.
Xu Ying's fingers unconsciously traced the cuffs of Zong Heng's coat. The fabric was somewhat rough, but it still retained his body heat, like some kind of secret comfort. She didn't dare look up at him, but stared at the distant lights, and softly asked, "What do you want to do in the future?"
Zong Heng turned his head to look at her, a slight smile playing on his lips, with his usual nonchalant expression: "What, the good student is starting to care about my future?"
Xu Ying pursed her lips, ignoring his teasing, but stubbornly asked again, "Seriously?"
Zong Heng paused for a moment, then turned his gaze back to the distance. His tone, unusually free of its usual cynicism, became calm and distant: "I don't know."
Xu Ying finally turned to look at him, her brows furrowed slightly: "You don't know?"
"Hmm." He shrugged, his voice low. "Maybe he'll go abroad. The old man has already made arrangements."
Xu Ying felt a slight clench in her heart. She opened her mouth, wanting to say something, but didn't know what to say.
Zong Heng suddenly smiled, reached out and ruffled her hair, the touch neither too light nor too heavy, as if teasing a kitten: "What, you can't bear to part with me?"
Xu Ying abruptly turned her head to avoid his hand, but the tips of her ears burned uncontrollably: "Narcissistic."
Zong Heng wasn't annoyed. He simply withdrew his hand, put it in his pocket, and leaned lazily against the railing: "And what about you? S University?"
Xu Ying was taken aback: "How did you know?"
"Didn't the homeroom teacher ask you to write down your ideal university and stick it on the back wall during the last class meeting?" He scoffed. "You were the only one in the class who wrote it down seriously."
Xu Ying hadn't expected him to notice such a small thing, and her heart skipped a beat for no reason. She looked down at the tips of her shoes and said softly, "Yes, the design department at S University."
Zong Heng clicked his tongue: "Indeed, this is the answer of a good student."
The night wind suddenly picked up, ruffling the stray hairs on Xu Ying's forehead. She instinctively reached out to brush them aside, but heard Zong Heng chuckle softly.
"What are you laughing at?" she asked, somewhat annoyed.
Zong Heng didn't answer, but suddenly reached out and gently brushed his fingertips across her forehead, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. His movements were very light, but his fingertips carried a burning heat, as if he had accidentally brushed against her skin, or as if he had deliberately touched her.
Xu Ying froze, her breath catching in her throat.
Zong Heng withdrew his hand, his tone still nonchalant: "Your hair is messy."
Xu Ying abruptly took a step back, her back almost touching the railing. Her heart was pounding wildly, as if something was raging inside her chest, about to break free of its restraints.
Zong Heng narrowed his eyes, then suddenly took a step forward, bracing himself on the railing beside her ear with one hand, and leaned down to get closer to her: "Xu Ying, why have you been avoiding me lately?"
His voice was low, carrying a hint of danger, like a cheetah closing in on its prey.
Xu Ying dug her fingertips into her palm, trying to make her voice sound calm: "I didn't."
“You’re lying.” Zong Heng’s gaze was fixed on her, a roguish smile playing on his lips. “Ever since the day I carried you on my back during the spring outing, you haven’t even asked me to copy your homework.”
Xu Ying's ears burned even more. Of course she remembered that day—his back was broad and warm, her heartbeat was so loud it felt like it was going to shatter her eardrums, and he carried her all the way down the mountain, his arms supporting her steadily, as if afraid she would fall.
"I wasn't avoiding you," she finally spoke, but her voice was so soft it was almost inaudible.
Zong Heng chuckled softly, then suddenly leaned closer, his nose almost touching her forehead: "Then why don't you dare look at me?"
Xu Ying looked up abruptly, only to be caught off guard by his gaze.
His eyes were exceptionally deep in the night, as if they held countless emotions she couldn't understand, yet they clearly reflected her image.
Suddenly, a firework exploded in the distance, its dazzling light instantly illuminating the entire rooftop.
In that fleeting moment of light, Xu Ying saw Zong Heng's eyelashes tremble slightly, his gaze slowly moving down from her eyes and finally settling on her lips.
Her breathing almost stopped.
"Xu Ying," he suddenly spoke, his voice deep and clear, "Do you like me?"
These words struck Xu Ying like a thunderbolt. Her pupils constricted, and almost instinctively, she pushed him away and turned to run—
Zong Heng reacted even faster, grabbing her wrist and pulling her back.
"Why are you running?" His palm was burning hot, and his grip was so strong that she couldn't break free, but his voice carried a hint of amusement, "I'm not going to eat you."
Xu Ying struggled for a moment but couldn't break free. She could only glare at him and say, "Let go!"
Zong Heng remained unyielding, his gaze fixed intently on her: "Answer me first."
Xu Ying's eyelashes trembled violently, and her breathing became rapid. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out.
Zong Heng's thumb unconsciously rubbed the inside of her wrist, as if in some silent urging.
Several more fireworks exploded in the distance, illuminating the two figures pressed close together.
Xu Ying finally turned her face away, her voice so soft it was almost drowned out by the sound of fireworks: "I don't know."
Zong Heng stared at her for a few seconds, then suddenly let go of her hand and took a step back: "Fine, I won't force you."
His tone returned to its usual nonchalant manner, as if the interrogation from before had never happened.
Xu Ying stood there, stunned, the warmth of his palm still lingering on her wrist.
Zong Heng had already turned and walked to the other side of the rooftop, his back looking particularly lonely in the night.
Xu Ying stood there, the night wind dispelling the heat from her face, but it couldn't dispel the inexplicable sourness in her chest.
She took a deep breath, turned and headed towards the stairwell, but just as she was about to push open the door to leave, she heard Zong Heng's voice coming from behind her—
"Remember to bring 2B pencils for the exam tomorrow!"
His tone was as casual as a casual joke, as if everything that had just happened was just her imagination.
Xu Ying didn't turn around, but simply hummed in agreement and pushed the door open to leave.
Xu Ying practically fled in panic.
She stumbled down the stairs, her footsteps echoing in the empty corridor like a startled bird. She stopped abruptly at the corner, her back against the cold tiled wall, gasping for breath.
My heart is beating too loudly.
Thump, thump—it felt like her chest was about to burst. She covered her ears, but the sound leaked out through her fingers, making her eardrums ache.
"Xu Ying, do you like me?"
Zong Heng's voice still echoed in her mind, carrying his unique roguishness and certainty, as if he had already seen through her. She bit her lower lip, her fingertips unconsciously clutching the hem of her school uniform skirt, the fabric crumpling into a ball in her palm.
--yes.
The answer was almost out of his mouth, but he swallowed it back at the last second.
The motion-activated lights in the corridor suddenly went out, plunging the room into darkness. Xu Ying slowly slid down to the floor, burying her face in her knees.
She likes Zong Heng.
When did it start?
Perhaps it was when he kicked over the desk in English class to shield her from the ridicule; perhaps it was when he held her wrist tightly when he had a fever, his palm burning hot but refusing to let go; or perhaps even earlier, when he first pushed the extra breakfast he bought in front of her, but turned his head away, unable to look at her...
"Remember to bring 2B pencils for the exam tomorrow!"
Zong Heng's voice suddenly came from upstairs, lazy and with a hint of a smile, as if the interrogation just now had never happened.
Xu Ying looked up, her eyes feeling a little hot.
He's always like that.
When she was on the verge of collapse, give her a way out.
On the rooftop, Zong Heng stared in the direction where Xu Ying had disappeared, and after a long while, he let out a sneer.
"coward."
He took out a cigarette from his pocket, put one in his mouth, but hesitated to light it.
Xu Ying hates the smell of smoke.
This realization made him click his tongue in annoyance, but he eventually took the cigarette away and crushed it between his fingers.
A summer breeze, carrying its heat, brushed against his cheek as he looked up at the sky. The city's neon lights were too bright; the stars were barely visible, with only a few scattered ones stubbornly shining.
Like Xu Ying's eyes.
He suddenly remembered something and took a mint out of another pocket.
—It was given to him by her last time.
The candy wrapper was already a little wrinkled, but he carefully peeled it open and popped the candy into his mouth.
A refreshing sweetness explodes on the tip of the tongue.
"Damn..." he muttered under his breath, but couldn't help but curl the corners of his mouth into a smile, "...So sweet."
It sounded like self-mockery, but also like resignation.
He turned to leave, but kicked something.
A copy of "Stray Birds".
The pages rustled in the wind, finally settling on one page—
"The world has kissed me with pain, and I must repay it with a song."
Zong Heng squatted down and ran his fingertips over the line of words.
In the blank spaces of the book pages were notes he had jotted down casually before:
She asked me why I liked Hai Zi.
I didn't tell her—
Because he said that the distant place has nothing but remoteness.
And now, I have someone I want to take to faraway places.
His fingers tightened slightly, causing the edges of the pages to wrinkle.
The school bell rang in the distance, and the rooftop door slammed shut with a bang in the wind.
When Xu Ying returned to the classroom, evening self-study had already ended.
The students left in twos and threes, and no one noticed her reddened earlobes and disordered breathing.
She slowly walked back to her seat and packed her schoolbag.
She paused when her fingertips touched a small box deep inside the drawer.
—It was a jar of hand-folded stars.
Each piece of colorful paper was carefully folded and placed into a clear glass bottle.
On one of the blue stars, there is a character "珩".
She originally planned to...
"Xu Ying".
The sudden noise startled her so much that she slammed the drawer shut, almost knocking over her water glass.
He looked up and met Lin Wei's probing gaze: "What's wrong? Your face is so red."
"N-nothing." Xu Ying lowered her head in a flustered manner. "It's probably just too hot..."
Lin Wei glanced thoughtfully at the drawer handle she was gripping tightly, then suddenly smiled: "Zong Heng came looking for you earlier."
Xu Ying's heart skipped a beat: "What did he say?"
"He didn't say anything, just asked where you went." Lin Wei shrugged. "Oh right, he asked me to give this to you."
She handed me a 2B pencil with a sticky note attached to the barrel:
"Don't fail the test, good student."
The handwriting was messy, as if it had been written in a hurry.
Xu Ying took the pencil, and as her fingertips touched the edge of the sticky note, she noticed a line of small print on the back:
"You can answer the rooftop question when you're ready."
Her earlobes suddenly burned.
Lin Wei blinked: "You two..."
"We have nothing!" Xu Ying suddenly stood up, her backpack strap getting caught on the corner of the table, almost tripping her.
Lin Wei smiled without saying a word, waved, and left.
She was finally the only one left in the classroom.
Xu Ying slowly sat back down in her chair and buried her face in her palms.
—She's finished.
When Zong Heng got home, it was almost midnight.
He kicked off his shoes, walked straight to his desk, and pulled a brown paper envelope from deep inside a drawer.
What came out was a stack of photos.
—It's all Xu Ying.
The way she looked at her book in the library, the way she stood lost in thought by the playground, the way she sipped her soup in the cafeteria...
The latest photo is from this evening, showing her standing at the entrance to the rooftop, hesitating whether to push the door open.
The date is written in the bottom right corner of the photo: June 15th.
Zong Heng stared at the photo for a long time before finally stuffing it into the pocket of his wallet.
My phone suddenly vibrated; a message from my father popped up:
"I've booked your plane ticket. Don't make me go to the school to get you myself."
He locked the screen expressionlessly and threw the phone onto the bed.
Outside the window, the city lights still shone brightly.
But his distant future remained only distant.
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