Chapter 1 Fengdu Nail House When the night is midnight, by "cross-cultural communication...
In the past thousand years, Si Ling met Xie Bian once a year, but in previous years it was just a formality. This year, Xie Bian seemed to be serious.
They had arranged to meet at the Higanbana Café on the first floor of the Soul-Snatching Division's office building. When Si Ling entered, Xie Bian was already waiting. This ghost messenger, known as "White Impermanence," had always been portrayed in the human world as a wry smile with a long tongue hanging out, but the last time he used that terrifying image on official business was decades ago.
As time went on, the underworld began to promote "civilized law enforcement." The current Bai Wuchang has a chestnut-colored side-parted hairstyle, and most often wears a white suit, though he opts for a white round-necked robe for formal occasions. This elegant and dignified appearance makes it easier for souls to follow him, even making the shackles that capture souls less necessary.
"Good morning." Si Ling sat down across from Xie Bian, who had been busy replying to messages. Xie Bian closed the latest tri-folding Tongming disk in his hand, took out a small pure white box from his chest pocket and pushed it in front of Si Ling. "The latest limited edition Bai Wuchang brooch, you know, it still has those four words, 'First sight brings wealth'①. The specific effect is related to the merits of the holder, but it is guaranteed to bring in one million yuan a year, and it also works after reincarnation."
Si Ling's heart skipped a beat, and he said without any emotion, "I don't wear brooches."
"..." Xie Bian froze for a moment, then pushed the coffee he had ordered in advance to her. "The latest Emperor's Latte②, drink it to relieve your worries. I ordered a little less sugar according to your taste... want to try it?"
Si Ling shrugged lightly: "I don't have any worries to solve."
She adopted an unyielding attitude the moment they met, and Xie Bian's heart unsurprisingly collapsed. "Big sister!" He rested his elbows on the table, clasping his hands together. "Ancestor, I beg you, can you please reincarnate? We only allow a maximum stay in the underworld of two thousand years, and yet you—you've been here since the underworld was founded eighteen thousand years ago. Now it's 2025, and your fellow ghosts have been reincarnated hundreds of times. We, the ghost messengers, have been replaced several times, and you're still here! We can't do our job anymore!"
Si Ling took a deep breath, lowered his eyes and remained silent. Xie Bian said earnestly: "You can ask for any conditions for reincarnation! Do you want to be the daughter of the richest man or the richest man himself? Even if you want to be a superstar with stunning beauty, extraordinary talent and an IQ of 140... I can apply for such an outrageous personality for you! Even if you want to go to the West to become a queen, I can use diplomatic channels to negotiate for you! But you really can't stay in the underworld anymore!"
Xie Bian finished speaking, looking at her with a pleading expression. He didn't expect Si Ling to nod directly. As long as she could soften her stance a little and show a little willingness to negotiate, it would make him happier than getting a year-end bonus.
Si Ling raised his eyes: "Actually, I never wanted to stay in the underworld, you know that."
She paused and said, "I want to become an immortal."
Those two words sent Xie Bian tumbling onto the table. Si Ling stared at him, unmoved. He took a moment to straighten himself up and weakly explained, "I've told you this many times... The underworld doesn't allow for direct immortal ascension. Wouldn't it be better if you could reincarnate as a human first and then cultivate? I can arrange a destiny for you that will guarantee you immortality!"
Si Ling had heard this rhetoric for a thousand years. She frowned, a little impatient. "I've said it many times before. I can't bear to give up my thirty thousand years of cultivation."
Xie Bian was furious: "You can't want everything!"
"Lord Bai Wuchang." Si Ling said this ancient honorific that sounded respectful, but the mockery in his eyes and eyebrows was not concealed at all.
She stood up, resting her pale ghostly hand with bright red nails on the table. She leaned forward and stared at Xie Bian, her eyes devoid of emotion. "I existed before Fengdu. I'm willing to sit here and talk to you out of courtesy. If you can find a way to help me become an immortal, I'll be very grateful. If not, I'll accumulate a few more tens of thousands of years of cultivation, then I'll kill some heavenly soldiers and generals and throw a banquet. I'll still have a place in heaven!"
“…” Xie Bian was so frightened by the strong ghost aura that he couldn’t utter a word.
Si Ling stood up expressionlessly, turned around and left.
It was not until she reached the door of the coffee shop that Xie Bian suddenly stood up as if he had just woken up from a dream.
"Hey... Si Ling!" He hurriedly chased after her in fear, not because her ghostly aura frightened him, but because he discovered that she had a terrifying plan in mind: she wanted to take the exclusive promotion route for Bi Ma Wen...
"Si Ling!" Xie Bian blocked her way in the lobby outside the cafe. After much hesitation, he finally had to reveal his trump card. "Okay... I have another idea." He glanced at the cafe behind her and said, "Shall we sit down and talk?"
Si Ling's expression didn't improve: "Let's talk about it here."
"It's a long story..." Xie Bian was a little embarrassed, but thinking of Si Ling's "trump card", he didn't dare to delay. He picked up the three-fold Tongming disk, found her dialog box in the Yinxin app, and sent her a file, "You can read the file yourself."
"Ding Dong--" Si Ling's Tongming Plate rang. She clicked on the file. The document was very formal and contained a lot of long content.
She flipped through the pages hastily and looked up in surprise: "Ghost Academy?"
"Yeah." Xie Bian nodded. "Okay... I admit, this isn't an easy task. Originally, our Heavenly Court was supposed to collaborate with their Heaven to bring down some divine punishment on the wicked on earth, but the people in Heaven didn't want to take on the job and found an excuse to pass it on to the Underworld. The Western side, as the party seeking cooperation, couldn't be too forceful, so for ease of coordination, they handed their portion of the task over to Satan, who then passed it on to Lucifer, who runs the Ghost Academy."
Si Ling lowered her head and continued to look through the documents. Xie Bian saw that although she frowned, she did not intend to refuse directly, so he continued carefully: "You go there and participate in some learning and exchanges between Chinese and Western horrors. The period will be up to three years. After you come back, you will be directly ranked in the immortal class. If you like their positions in heaven, there are also discussions. You can become an archangel or something..."
He tried his best to show more temptation, but Si Ling raised his head and said, "Deal."
"?!" Happiness came so quickly that Xie Bian almost couldn't react.
Si Ling continued, "But I also have conditions."
Xie Bian's smile was harder to suppress than the box office curve of "Nezha 2": "You say!"
Si Ling pondered and said, "Arrange someone to contact me specifically to provide my daily needs. I don't mind spending my own money, but some things may not be easy to get in the West."
"That's easy!" Xie Bian waved his hand. "I'll personally contact you and guarantee I'll be there whenever you need me. If you can't spend the money yourself, we'll reimburse you!"
Si Ling nodded: "We agreed that the maximum period is three years. We need to sign a contract."
Xie Bian's finger reached over the screen of her Tongming disk and quickly scrolled the document to the bottom. "Of course. We're very particular about leaving a record of our work right now. Here, this is the contract. Go back and take a close look at it. If you need any changes, tell me directly... I'll add the connection issues I mentioned earlier when I get back."
"That's great." Si Ling finally smiled a little, "And the most important thing."
Xie Bian's heartstrings tightened, and he subconsciously held his breath: "What..."
Si Ling said, "Ask someone in the mortal realm to burn some foreign language books for me. They need common Western languages. They need the latest editions, with audio for listening and speaking exercises. Also, a few dictionaries, and books on folk culture and myths and legends. The more specialized, the better. I only have a few hours to study, and I don't have time to waste on junk textbooks."
Xie Bian, who had just been facing a formidable enemy, asked: "That's it?"
Si Ling raised an eyebrow: "Not satisfied?"
"No, no!" Xie Bian waved his hands quickly, "Give me an hour, and I'll burn the books in your house."
"No rush." Si Ling nodded kindly and extended his hand to him. "It's a pleasure to work with you."
"...It's a pleasure to work with you!" Xie Bian hurriedly shook her hand, feeling flattered.
.
In the next few hours, Si Ling witnessed Xie Bian's work ability as a senior ghost catcher.
The book she'd requested appeared on her bookshelf thirty-seven minutes after they'd parted ways. About forty minutes after that, the revised contract arrived. Si Ling carefully read through all the clauses, large and small, and then had a lawyer friend who specialized in underworld labor disputes review it. After confirming everything was correct, he signed it and sent it back to Xie Bian.
Three hours later, her customs clearance document was ready. It was stamped with the seal of Emperor Dongyue and attached with invitation letters from Satan and Lucifer, the principal of the Ghost Academy, to ensure that she had smooth entry and exit.
At midnight that night, the cross-border channel managed by the "Intercultural Exchange Affairs Department" was opened.
This passage is composed of the "Naihe Bridge" and "Ghost Gate" well-known to people in the world, but in fact, people have some misunderstandings about it.
Neither of these is a bridge or a gate, but rather a category. Twelve groups of gates lead from the living world to the underworld, collectively designated "A," with one opening every hour. The gates from the underworld to the living world are "B," also opening every hour.
Now Si Ling is traveling from the east to the west in the "Gui" category.
Due to the extremely limited communication between different cultures, this is the least used set of bridge gates.
Si Ling dragged her suitcase and followed Xie Bian's instructions to Guizi Bridge. She handed her clearance documents and invitation letter to the management office at the bridgehead. The staff at the window stamped her documents swiftly. As they handed her back the documents, the scarred, ghostly face gave Si Ling a complex look. "You're Si Ling... I actually saw a real ghost! I wish you a pleasant journey and a speedy ascension to heaven!"
"Thank you." Si Ling smiled, put away the things in his hands and left the window. Not far from the management office was the Guizi Naihe Bridge, and the Ghost Gate stood in the center of the bridge.
The door frame of Ghost Gate is made of obsidian, and inside the door frame is a vortex-shaped barrier cast by magic.
Thousands of years ago, the doorframes of Ghost Gate were all carved with green-faced, fang-toothed demons from hell. But now, in order to motivate employees, the Emperor of Fengdu has recast Ghost Gate and carved outstanding employees on it, replacing them every ten years.
...Also, because the staff of the underworld have now changed to the civilized style of Xie Bian, and everyone has given themselves a gentle appearance, the new version of the Ghost Gate looks quite pleasing to the eye.
Si Ling saw the familiar Xie Bian on the right side of the door frame, and on the opposite left was the Black Impermanence Fan Wujiu.
She curled her lips and handed the stamped pass in her hand into the barrier. The barrier quickly completed the verification, and the vortex began to rotate. The huge suction force pulled Si Ling and pulled her into the vortex.
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【Notes】
① [Lifelong Fortune] These four words are traditionally written on Bai Wuchang’s official hat. However, it’s 2025! With such popular words, Bai Wuchang would definitely use them to create limited-edition merchandise!
By the way: the name Xie Bian is not original. In the legend, Bai Wuchang is called this.
②【Emperor Latte】Emperor Latte is a plant in the Classic of Mountains and Seas. Legend has it that eating it can relieve thirst.
③ Regarding Satan and Lucifer: Various versions of the legends differ. Some describe them as one person, while others claim they are not. This article adopts the view that they are not one person, and that Satan is superior to Lucifer.
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I will give red envelopes to all the comments on this chapter before the next chapter comes out, muah
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