usually
"Do not lean alone on the railing, for the boundless rivers and mountains stretch before you."
My loved ones have passed away, but life must go on.
Parting is easy, but meeting again is difficult.
She hadn't heard from Wen Yushen for two whole years, deliberately avoiding all contact. The last time she heard of him was right after their parting, when she learned he had left the dance troupe and would no longer dance pas de deux.
Years have passed, and Jiang Moyun has become a shrewd businesswoman. She is intelligent and shrewd, and no one can easily gain any advantage over her.
Like her father, she could stir up trouble with just a few words; like her sister, she could skillfully navigate social situations; like her mother, whom she had never met, she harbored ideals. She had grown into a mature adult, carrying the shadows of many people... except that Jiang Moyun was not among them.
She leaned against the window, a pear tree behind her, its blossoms exuding a pleasant fragrance. In the center of the dance floor ahead, flowing robes and melodious music drifted by. The beautiful woman smiled radiantly, the pear blossoms a backdrop, fame and fortune her companions, her presence tinged with the stench of money amidst the clinking of glasses.
The dramatic changes in her left Wen Yushen stunned. He never imagined that their reunion would be at a boring banquet, a reunion amidst the intoxicating glamour of the world of fame and fortune.
Jiang Moyun seemed to be a little drunk, so when Wen Yushen approached, he raised his glass, his smile as bright as the fine wine in the glass, and said with a smile, "Long time no see."
Wen Yushen also raised his glass, swallowed the wine, and all his senses went numb. The mellow taste on his tongue turned into a bitter taste in his mouth. His smile was more like a grimace as he struggled to speak, "Long time no see. How are you...?"
His words surprised Jiang Moyun a little. She looked up and saw that his once bright eyes were now filled with sorrow, tears welling up and bringing to mind old wounds that were now painful.
So she could only sigh softly, smile gently, and, as she had done many times before, answer in a helpless tone, "Why be sad? I'm doing just fine."
Yes, why be sad?
Wen Yushen's tears fell like pearls from a broken string, and after several sobs, she said, "You lied to me."
Jiang Moyun just smiled, handed him a handkerchief, gesturing for him to wipe his tears, and shook his head again, "I'm really doing very well now. The company is thriving, and Ciqing is well-behaved and sensible. I'm very... happy."
Wen Yushen didn't answer, her eyes red, but she stubbornly said, "Moyun, we haven't won the gold medal yet."
Jiang Moyun could only sigh again, gently take his hand, fold the handkerchief and place it in his palm. Her fingertips brushed across his palm through the handkerchief, and she quickly let go, leaving only a slight tingling sensation that spread throughout his body.
Wen Yushen subconsciously clenched her fist, but only managed to grasp the last bit of warmth remaining on the handkerchief. In her daze, she heard her speak, "Yushen, stop being so stubborn. We should both look forward."
Yu Shen, I can no longer be the embodiment of your ideal.
Yu Shen, you must look forward.
Yu Shen, please don't stay for me.
Jiang Moyun walked past him and forward.
The two crossed paths, each navigating the treacherous world of fame and fortune.
Their souls intertwined in the spring of their fourteenth year, and pledged their lives to each other in front of a hall full of guests at their twenty-first, only to be separated at the end of their twenty-third year… And now, at twenty-five, Jiang Moyun finally recognizes the hopelessness of this fate. The connection of flesh and blood brings a new round of numb and unbearable pain when they are finally separated, and the lovers are left with only a silent end.
It was late spring, the transition between spring and summer. The wind blew, and the pear blossoms outside the window had already fallen all over the place.
"The flowing water and falling flowers mark the passing of spring, a world apart from heaven."
Heaven and earth...
Jiang Moyun was just a passerby.
Time continues to move steadily forward.
Jiang Moyun is now thirty-three years old.
The tiny child from back then has quietly grown to her chest, and Jiang Moyun can hardly carry him anymore. Now, she is often knocked off balance by a figure suddenly rushing towards her. But she will still smile and open her arms again and again, gently catching the child who rushes into her embrace.
"How strange! It seems like just yesterday you were a tiny, sleeping baby nestled in my arms, and now you've suddenly become a lively and adorable toddler?"
Ten years had passed in the blink of an eye, so long that she had learned, without being taught, how to respond with a smile to every "Mom" Jiang Ciqing called out.
Time truly is the most versatile medicine in the world; even the deepest pain will gradually become numb over time.
She continued to dance, putting on melodious music during her moments of solitude and then gracefully dancing to the rhythm. Her dancing wasn't as good as before, but she was content. "This is good enough," Jiang Moyun always thought.
Turning thirty-three was no different from any other year; every day was just an ordinary one.
But if I had to find something worth recording...
There are indeed two such items.
The first thing Jiang Moyun discovered after years of repeated observation and verification was that her daughter genuinely enjoyed dealing with numbers and especially liked managing accounts. She was simply a good prospect to inherit the family business.
She was utterly shocked. Could it be that people actually liked such a ridiculous thing?! It turned out that drawing the abacus during the lottery back then really wasn't an accident.
She didn't understand, but she respected and supported her.
The second thing was that when Jiang Moyun was thirty-three years old, he met a "little dog" with a very cute name, Lin Bairan.
He was a very young man, just graduated with a doctorate, only twenty-three years old. He was a professional talent that the company specially recruited to do research and development in order to enter a new field.
Jiang Moyun valued this business very much and was worried about things going wrong in the initial stage, so she directly transferred it to her own management. For convenience, she even temporarily moved her office.
The newly recruited technical staff were all very young, especially Lin Bairan, who was the youngest among those with the same educational background. Perhaps these geniuses, far exceeding their peers, were all a bit arrogant, and many were somewhat aloof. Lin Bairan was one of the more lively and adorable ones. Jiang Moyun had bumped into him several times during breaks, seeing him wandering around the company with a cup of coffee.
Jiang Moyun observed quietly for a while and felt that the work atmosphere wasn't quite right; a group of young people should have more fun and excitement. So, she chose a suitable time and took them on a team-building trip on a quiet Friday.
"Go ahead, the company will reimburse you today."
"Mr. Jiang is so generous!" A group of young people in their early twenties were having a great time. First, they had a barbecue outdoors for half a day, then, finding the sun too strong, they went indoors to play billiards for two hours. After that, they all rushed to the screening room to watch a movie. After finally having a quiet moment for less than two hours, they rushed off to a bar to drink until they were drunk. In just one day, the group, who were initially somewhat polite, became as close as if they were inseparable. Lin Bairan, needless to say, had already joined in and was determined to win at billiards.
"In the end, they're just a few introverted kids," Jiang Moyun couldn't help but think as she watched them play and joke around.
Young people are indeed full of energy; they are so vibrant that Jiang Moyun felt a pang of nostalgia for the past—she hadn't really experienced so many forms of entertainment before. As a child, she wasn't allowed to, and she was always busy with school, so her father and sister rarely had time to take her out to play. Later, she started dancing day and night, maintaining a regimented lifestyle for ten years, almost like becoming a nun, which further diminished her opportunities. But all of that was so long ago… Thinking of this, she couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness. The warm sun gently enveloped her, and her heart no longer ached.
Perhaps she's gotten used to it—at least that's how Jiang Moyun feels.
This was the first time in many years that Jiang Moyun had such a good time, but for some reason, she still felt a bit tired, so she declined the group's invitation to go to the bar and told them to go have fun on their own.
"Alright, alright, you're all more comfortable if I don't go. Remember to be careful and send me a message when you get home to let me know you're safe. If any of you get too drunk and can't get home, the rest of you should call my assistant, and she'll arrange a car to take you home. Don't call me, or you'll wake up my Ciqing, and I'll see if I don't deal with you next Monday."
"Okay, Sister Jiang. Yes, Sister Jiang." After getting to know each other better over the day, the group naturally became much bolder, and they walked away making a ruckus as they played around.
With more than an hour left in her rental period, she decided to stay a little longer, browsing through the videotapes, trying to find something interesting to pass the time... Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of familiar words. She picked it up and saw that the label read "The Dream of the Yellow Millet"—it looked like it had been there for a long time, the writing was already a bit blurry, and several pieces were missing.
She was startled, and as if possessed, she reached out and played the video—it wasn't just a coincidence that it had the same name; the video on the screen was of her first dance when she was fifteen.
"The affairs of the world drift away like flowing water; in the end, life is but a fleeting dream."
It turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Jiang Moyun mechanically watched it over and over again, and finally, without realizing it, she got up and started dancing along with the videotape.
She danced with abandon in the dimly lit screening room, gradually losing her sense of time, as if she had truly returned to that summer when she was fifteen… Back then on stage, apart from a beam of light shining on her, the surroundings were exactly the same darkness as now, with the audience hidden in that silent darkness. With each spin, she could only see her own fingertips and the fluttering hem of her skirt; nothing else surrounded her except for the melodious music.
Through dance, she briefly became a character in the song, experiencing a fleeting dream. Afterwards, she remained immersed in the performance for a long time, her eyes brimming with tears, finally taking her final bow amidst prolonged and enthusiastic applause.
The videotape had finished playing; it wouldn't loop automatically if no one operated it. Her consciousness slowly returned amidst the imagined applause and the silence of reality, leaving only a touch of loneliness in the end.
There will be no more applause...
Facing the empty screening room, Jiang Moyun stubbornly finished the curtain call, but the voice in her mind strangely had not disappeared.
With tears in her eyes, she looked up and saw Lin Bairan standing in the backlight at the entrance of the screening room.
He is clapping.
Lin Bairan stood there quietly and watched the entire performance, becoming the only audience member for the thirty-three-year-old Jiang Moyun.
Jiang Moyun stared blankly as he walked forward, pulled out a rose from somewhere, and offered it to her.
After a while, she heard Lin Bairan speak again, "Sister, you danced so beautifully."
Lin Bairan has very typical puppy eyes, with slightly drooping corners, round and bright. He has a sincere smile on his face. Although his actions are somewhat frivolous, the way he holds up the flowers for her to accept makes him look very cute.
Jiang Moyun stood on a step a few steps higher than him, looking down at the few tufts of hair on Lin Bairan's head that swayed with his movements, and couldn't help but be lost in thought—it looked like a puppy…
Like a cute, fluffy puppy.
Fifteen-year-old Jiang Moyun enjoyed enduring applause and a full house, with countless flowers and praises; while thirty-three-year-old Jiang Moyun had none of those, but she met a little dog carrying flowers, who became her only audience.
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