Chapter 54 Love
How much do you have to like someone to call it love?
Li Xianyue stood quietly in front of Chen Huai's tombstone, lost in thought.
It felt like a dream as she reminisced about the past.
When spring arrived in Jizhou, a girl carrying a basket saw the governor of the prefecture in the woods.
She hurriedly greeted him, and the honeysuckle she had just picked accidentally fell to the ground. A strong spring breeze blew by, scattering the flowers all over the ground. Feeling embarrassed, she looked down and saw the man trying to pick up the flowers.
His fingers were beautiful, with distinct knuckles against a pale white background. The black and gold-trimmed sleeves accentuated the man's refined elegance, while the honeysuckle in his hand was extremely ordinary—seemingly mismatched, yet strangely unsettling.
He rose in the soft spring light, still gently twirling an ordinary honeysuckle in his hand.
The girl spoke haltingly, saying that the governor was well, that she had disturbed him, about the flowers, and that she didn't know what to say.
When she looked up again, the man gave her a simple smile and left her with a faint remark.
"The flowers are beautiful."
Before she could speak again, the man's dark robes disappeared into the shadows of the trees.
Only a young girl, her heart fluttering, remained, gazing absently at the honeysuckle.
It's all so unbelievable. I heard that the governor's wife passed away in the winter, and her newborn child was crying for milk. How could someone like that be in the woods on the outskirts of the city? It's so strange.
That's so strange...
She was thinking about it constantly, her mind was filled with it.
Why would he pick up a fallen flower and say it's pretty?
The girl was neither a smart person nor a stupid person.
She knew her thoughts were ridiculous, but she just thought, since no one knows, what harm can she do if she dreams?
She never imagined that her dream could come true—in such a ridiculous way.
...
During that period, rumors circulated throughout Jizhou that the daughter of the Li family blacksmith shop was too old to marry, that she was destined to bring misfortune to her mother, and that she was going to marry into the governor's mansion as a second wife to match the fate of the young master who was also destined to bring misfortune to his mother.
The rumors spread so fast and fiercely that Li the blacksmith was so angry that he cursed people in front of his door every day, swinging his hammer with great force, even driving away his apprentices.
The father couldn't eat, and neither could the daughter.
Finally, Li the blacksmith's eyes reddened with anger, and he said, "Child, do you really want to marry him?"
Li Xianyue remained silent for a long time, her hands clenched tightly. She said, "Father, it's alright. Maybe they're right..."
"What do you mean!"
"What are they talking about!"
"What they said is correct! Li Xian Yue!"
"How many times have I told you? How many times have I told you since you were little!"
“Your mother passed away because your father was ignorant and poor! She didn’t have enough to eat and was too young! Your mother didn’t blame you, she didn’t blame your father, so why would your father blame you! Why should those people blame you!”
"Child, I won't stop you from getting married, but listen to what those people are saying! What governor, what fortune teller... Once you're married into that family, you'll have to accept it!"
"...Li Xianyue, your father will ask you just one question: do you want to get married?"
"If you don't want to get married, Dad will take you somewhere else to live—"
"father!"
Li Xian Yue interrupted her father with an even louder voice. The girl's eyes showed a struggle mixed with determination. Finally, she whispered, "I want to marry, Father, I want to marry..."
"Father, I...I want to marry him..."
"...I don't know...Father..."
She spoke softly, her voice growing softer and softer, but her tears flowed more and more fiercely. Li the blacksmith couldn't bear to look at her like that.
The tall, middle-aged man turned his head away. After a moment, he spoke, his voice unusually low, as if choked with emotion, "Jia, Father will go to the Prefect's residence tomorrow..."
"Child, don't worry. No matter what, those lies are all false."
"Look, your dad has been in good health all these years..."
"My child..."
My child, he's not a governor, he's a demon! My child, what should we do? What... what should we do... ah...
In the blacksmith's shop late at night, a huge butterfly shadow spread out, and the long black shadow pressed against a father's internal organs.
With a clang, the blacksmith's hammer finally fell to his hand. Li the blacksmith stared blankly at the distant moon, just staring at it.
Countless objects on the wall gleamed coldly, reflecting the moonlight in lines and dots.
The blacksmith didn't close his eyes in the end; he was thinking, "Child, what will you do?"
Look at your father, he's never given you anything good in his life.
Your mother died early, and your father had a loud voice and was busy forging iron. You were so small, you didn't cry.
You've finally grown up, but your father still hasn't been able to find you a good marriage.
Dad can't protect you...
It's all Dad's fault, it's all Dad's fault.
Dad is leaving...
My child, you must never think of your father... You must live well, and live a long life...
...
"father!"
Li Xianyue woke up with a start, only to find the bedside empty.
The woman stood up blankly, gazing at the moonlight outside the window, a silvery expanse on the ground, desolate and cold.
She naturally walked to the corner, opened a box, and there sat a longbow with a silver-black sheen and a beautiful curve.
She gazed for a long time, until Chen Huai was about to return.
In the early morning, Chen Huai inquired about her health, giving her detailed instructions on everything from clothing and food to shelter and transportation.
It's always been like this; he's always been very good to me.
Occasionally when they argue, he would say, "Moon, I'm much older than you, so I should give in to you."
Li Xian Yue laughed, "That's right, you should always give way to me..."
Many times, she would hold Xiao Chen and watch Chen Huai leave, then turn around and gently and meticulously raise the child.
She dared not think about what the child's real parents were like before; she was afraid, afraid that her father would appear in her dreams.
She had seen it before.
She had seen heavy snowfalls, a festive atmosphere in the governor's mansion, the governor's wife waking up, and the governor rushing around with a smile on his face. What she had seen were truly loving couples, truly governors and their wives.
They would feel sorry for this child, their newborn son, the son of a governor who should have been loved by his parents and had a bright future ahead of him.
He was a treasure in his parents' eyes, a treasure they would look back at even after reincarnation.
She was too.
She was also her father's most beloved daughter.
Will my father think of me when he dies? He definitely will.
Countless days and nights, accompanied by the fragrance of flowers and the moonlight, Li Xian Yue kept thinking, what should I do?
She used to love Chen Huai, and even if it meant accepting his reputation for being a stubborn man and becoming his second wife, she still wanted to marry him.
She thought that she was actually very lucky. When she was little, when the wind and snow blew across her face, it was her father who shielded her.
After they got married, Chen Huai always doted on her. When her father fell seriously ill, everyone said that although he died of illness, it was because of her. Chen Huai severely punished those who gossiped. Everyone in the mansion knew that although Li Xianyue was a second wife, the governor treated her with great care, and the young master was very attached to her. She was very lucky.
Is she lucky?
At that time, she genuinely believed that she was lucky.
Until her father's funeral, a strange chill spread, a wind blew by, and yellow paper filled the air. Suddenly, she saw a butterfly.
A black butterfly that used to appear in her dreams.
It's beautiful, but also terrifying.
For some reason, Li Xian Yue chased after it like a madwoman. A whirlwind swept by, and she saw a demon.
Father's coffin was empty.
The blacksmith's remains lay in the shop, watching over the moonlight day after day.
She laughed silently, tears streaming down her face. "Father, I knew it. Someone must have harmed you."
But what can she do? How can she get revenge?
What should we do...?
Another winter has arrived.
The wind and snow brushed against her face. Chen Huai helped her fasten her cloak and said, "My lady, the wind and snow are heavy. Let me cover you up."
Li Xianyue nodded with a smile, her eyes bright, her heart at peace.
She was not a lucky person; her life was full of hardship.
In the past, her father had shielded her from the road ahead.
Later, a butterfly gently fluttered its wings, stirring up the biggest blizzard in her life.
Her father collapsed.
In front of her.
What should we do, Father? What should we do?
Countless days and nights she kept her eyes open, and Li Xianyue thought, "I'll go and be with you, Father. Your daughter misses you."
But the next day, she saw little Chen Rang, the child reaching out and kicking his legs as he smiled at her.
She thought again, "Dad, wait for me."
Because of her "love affair," many things have come up, and she has let many people down.
But as someone still alive, she felt she had to do something.
Whether she seeks revenge or not is her business, but this child must, absolutely must, be safe and sound.
In the autumn of August of the sixteenth year of Tianchen.
Uncle Wang sent a servant over and told him some things.
Li Xianyue listened quietly, thinking, and amidst the fragrance of flowers, she picked up Chen Rang, the woman gently coaxing the child.
"Be good, don't cry..."
"Mother, we must go avenge us."
"Rang'er, Mother will take good care of you, don't be afraid..."
"Don't be afraid...don't cry..."
"Rang'er, actually... I don't even know his name yet..."
"That's fine, that's fine..."
...
Finally, the autumn wind blew, and the bright moon hung high in the sky.
Li Nu'er stood on the rooftop, and the woman slowly drew her bow, aiming at his heart.
Without the slightest hesitation, he shot the arrow.
Chen Huai turned to look at her, and their eyes met for a moment, his eyes still holding affection.
Li Nu'er was the same; day and night, her love and murderous intent waxed and waned, cycling endlessly, causing her immense torment.
Finally, with tears in her eyes, she avenged herself.
The moment the arrow pierced the cold wind, all her love, hate, sorrow, and joy were released, as if the wind and snow in the sky called fate had finally stopped.
A short, sharp pain is worse than a long, drawn-out one.
Then what?
The pain spread endlessly in the days that followed, etched into her heart and soul, silently and without a sound. Her soul lay forever in the snow of the past, quietly buried.
That was a pain only she knew, a mark that would last forever and could never be erased.
Li Xianyue stood quietly at Chen Huai's grave.
The fallen leaves were blown to the ground by the wind, leaving a desolate and cold atmosphere. There was no fragrance of flowers, nor moonlight.
"I've arranged everything."
"The corpses in the blacksmith's shop were all killed by demons."
"I also asked someone to retrieve my father's remains and buried them peacefully."
"The transfer to Shengjing should be coming soon. Although Chen Rang and I are widows and orphans, we are still relatives of the governor, so we will be fine in the future."
"I came here to say one last thing to you."
"Actually, I'm a little disappointed in the end because I don't even know your name."
"After thinking about it, it's actually quite good. I also have a nickname. Back then, I had just married you and was a little insecure, so I never told you."
"It's fine... I mean, I'm fine..."
"I avenged myself. As for the rest, there's the bond between husband and wife..."
"...You've taken good care of me these past two years, you...go now..."
"I won't be coming anymore, and don't wait for me."
"..."
"I'm leaving..."
"I'm leaving."
The woman murmured intermittently, and finally she slowly stood up. There seemed to be fallen leaves on her dress, but she didn't care much. She turned around and let out a tear, but her steps were unwavering.
As if a breeze was blowing, a tiny black butterfly flew over. It fluttered its wings slightly, as if trying to brush away the fallen leaves and wipe away the woman's tears... It spun around a few times and then quietly stopped on the tombstone.
The black butterfly's wings trembled as the wind grew stronger.
It flew away.
...
In the sixteenth year of Tianchen, in Jizhou.
Liu Nian fell in love with Li Xianyue.
Li Nu'er killed Chen Huai.
Thus, their names remain unknown, and they have spent half their lives in love and suffering.
In the Land of Reincarnation, before Lord Taishan, they could not utter each other's names.
Even if we brush past each other in the next life, our souls will not hesitate.
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