Chapter 77
As the sun dipped low, the adobe buildings at the educated youth settlement were scorching hot. When Qian Fangyan stumbled into the women's dormitory, it was empty except for the coarse cloth blankets on the large bunk bed, which swayed gently in the draft. Like a frightened rabbit, she dove into her own bunk, pulling the blanket over her head. Her teeth chattered uncontrollably, making a soft, clacking sound.
Xiao Li's words were like icicles, piercing her heart again and again—"It's not difficult to make someone disappear quietly." She could almost see herself buried in the black earth, corn roots entwined around her fingers, never to see the sun again. The fear of struggling at the bottom of society in a past life, the luck of rebirth in this one, all mixed together in a sticky, cold sweat that soaked through the back of her coarse shirt.
After an unknown amount of time, footsteps and laughter could be heard outside the door. It was the other educated youth returning from work. Qian Fangyan quickly huddled under the quilt, trying to pretend to be asleep, but she couldn't stop trembling all over.
"What's wrong with Fang Yan?" A clear voice rang out. It was Li Aifang, who lived with her. She came over and nudged Qian Fangyan's shoulder. "It's almost dark, and you're still sleeping?"
Li Aifang was startled by the burning sensation on her touch and quickly lifted a corner of the quilt: "Oh my! Fang Yan's face is completely red from the fever!"
Her cry was like a stone dropped into water, instantly startling everyone inside. The male educated youth who were wiping their sweat also rushed in, crowding in at the doorway and peeking their heads in. Wang Jinhua, the elder brother at the educated youth site, pushed through the crowd, squatted down, and touched Qian Fangyan's forehead, his brow furrowed in knots. "She has a high fever. I'm afraid we need to call a doctor."
"I'll go!" A tall, thin young man, Liu Jianjun, the fastest sprinter, responded. "I'll go to the village to find the barefoot doctor right now!"
"Aifang, go boil some water." Wang Jinhua instructed them methodically. "Xiao Zhao, fetch some water and wipe her with a cloth. Then stay with her. The rest of you go cook dinner first. After dinner, we'll take turns taking care of her."
Unlike those who later reluctantly went to the countryside, this group of educated youth came voluntarily, carrying a deep desire to build their country. They toiled in the fields by day, and at night huddled on large bunk beds, discussing their ideals, caring for each other like a family. Looking at Qian Fangyan's expression, no one had the heart to joke.
Qian Fangyan was in chaos, as if she had fallen into another time and space.
She became a bystander, watching her past self struggle in the mud. That woman in patched clothes, who argued over a white steamed bun, who flattered her neighbors for a few feet of cloth coupons, who died of illness in a leaky rental apartment. Before she died, she cursed, "Why do others get to live in mansions and drive luxury cars? Why don't I have one?"
Qian Fangyan wanted to rush over and wake her up: "Don't blame me! It's you who doesn't want to live a good life!" But her hand passed through the body of that "self" and she couldn't catch anything.
The scene suddenly changed and she arrived in the "future" of this time and space.
She abandoned Xiao Ming and, despite his persistent efforts, married him. But Xiao Ming was only a reporter; he never joined the army, never became a general. Xiao Li's reputation within the army plummeted for "allowing his younger brother to steal a comrade's girlfriend." Xiao Li's parents were so enraged that they published a notice severing ties with him. The name "Xiao Ming" was circled in red in the newspaper, like a bloody wound.
She still lived in a mud house renovated from a youth settlement, and Xiaoming's salary was barely enough to make ends meet. She counted her food coupons every day, and watching others wear Dacron shirts, she felt like she was being scratched by a cat. "Why do you think I married you?" she finally yelled during an argument. "Without the Xiao family, who are you? A lousy reporter! What can you give me?"
Xiao Ming squatted in the corner, holding his head in his hands without saying a word, his shoulders shaking like leaves in the autumn wind. Qian Fangyan looked at his thin back and suddenly wanted to apologize, but the self in her dream sneered and slammed the door and left.
Later, during the Special Period, Xiao Ming was labeled "□□" for a report and imprisoned in a cowshed. Fearing he would be implicated, she took the initiative to expose his "reactionary thinking," published a divorce notice in the newspaper, abandoned their three-year-old son in a nursery, and married Director Zhang of the Revolutionary Committee.
Director Zhang gave her silk clothes and fine food, but he also left her covered in scars. When drunk, he beat her and called her a "bitch." To climb the corporate ladder, he even offered her to higher-ranking officials. She cried in the dark, missing Xiao Ming, the man who would leave her dried sweet potatoes, but it was too late.
After the reform and opening up, Director Zhang was arrested, leaving her homeless. She secretly visited her son and discovered he had been taken in by the Xiao family, raised strong and healthy. Xiao Ming returned from the countryside, lame, but still carrying his old camera, taking photos of his son and a woman. The woman, wearing a tweed coat, smiled with two faint dimples—it was Qi Xiaoxue.
The sunlight fell on them, the warmth blinding them. Qian Fangyan stood on the street corner, watching Xiao Ming adjust Qi Xiaoxue's scarf, and suddenly understood: some fate, like rice in a field, belongs to whoever it belongs to. It can't be snatched away, nor can it be hidden.
Later, she ran into Xiao Ming at the market. He'd been discharged from the army and had opened a grocery store. His temples were graying, but his smile remained innocent. "What would you like?" he asked, his eyes as pure as mountain spring water, but he didn't recognize her.
Qian Fangyan looked at him and suddenly remembered Xiao Li's words—"Cherish the one in front of you." Tears welled up without warning, and a salty taste washed over her tongue. Could dreams have flavors?
"Wake up! Wake up!"
The call in her ear seemed to rise from the depths of the water. Qian Fangyan struggled to open her eyes, squinting against the glaring sunlight. She saw Xiao Ming's anxious face, sweat still smearing his forehead, his army green uniform soaked in a large patch. Several educated youth gathered around him, all wearing relieved smiles.
"Finally he woke up!" Li Aifang patted her chest. "He had a fever for a whole day and night. We were terrified!"
"The barefoot doctor said you're just tired and have a slight cold, but it's nothing serious." Wang Jinhua said, "You should rest first. We'll go out and let Comrade Xiao talk to you."
The educated youths hurried out, the last one even considerately closing the door behind them. The room instantly fell silent, save for the chirping of cicadas outside the window and Xiao Ming's slightly rapid breathing.
"How...how are you feeling? Still feeling sick?" Xiao Ming rubbed his hands, looking somewhat bewildered. He pulled a glass bottle from his pocket and carefully placed it beside the kang. "I asked someone to buy some canned yellow peaches in town. If you're sick, these will definitely help."
The label on the glass bottle was a little wrinkled, showing that it had been touched many times. Qian Fangyan looked at the can and suddenly remembered the time Xiao Ming gave her some dried sweet potatoes. Tears suddenly fell.
"Why are you crying?" Xiao Ming panicked and reached out to wipe it away, but then felt something was wrong and stopped mid-air. "Is the canned food not to your liking? I'll buy something else."
"No." Qian Fangyan shook her head, looking at him through tearful eyes. The Xiao Ming before her slowly began to resemble the middle-aged man who ran the grocery store in her dream. She suddenly felt fortunate that she still had a chance.
"Comrade Xiao Ming," she sniffed, her voice tearful but remarkably firm, "Let's get married."
Xiao Ming was stunned, his eyes wide open, as if he had been struck by lightning.
Qian Fangyan smiled, but her tears flowed even harder: "Actually, you're not my savior." She paused and revealed the secret that had been hidden in her heart for a long time, "It was Brigadier General Xiao's younger brother who saved me. You have the same name, and I only realized later that I recognized the wrong person."
She looked at Xiao Ming's gradually dimming eyes and quickly added: "But I've thought it through now. I want to live a good life with you. Do you... still want to marry me? If you are willing, nod your head."
Xiao Ming's head suddenly began to shake up and down as if it was equipped with springs, the amplitude was so large that it almost hit the edge of the kang: "Yes! Yes! I do!" The light in his eyes was brighter than the sun outside the window, "I already knew that you might have recognized the wrong person, I don't care!"
Qian Fangyan's heart felt soft as if it had been soaked in warm water.
"When you recover, let's go thank Comrade Xiao Ming." Xiao Ming scratched his head and smiled innocently, "If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have met you."
"Yes." Qian Fangyan nodded heavily, "I also want to thank Brigade Commander Xiao."
Thank him for waking me up.
The cicadas outside the window were still chirping noisily, and the sunlight filtered through the window lattice, casting mottled shadows on the ground. Qian Fangyan watched Xiao Ming's back as he busily went to heat up the canned food, and suddenly felt that this summer in her life seemed brighter than all the summers in her previous life combined.
She no longer pursued those illusory dreams of wealth and glory. She wanted to be with the man before her, on this black earth, planting corn, harvesting wheat, and raising children. Even if life was hard, even if she could never become a "general's wife," as long as he was by her side, it was enough.
After all, being able to live again and having the opportunity to choose the right path is already a great blessing.
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