Give it a try
The weekend breeze, wrapped in the distinctive chill of early autumn, carried the scent of paper and ink from the used bookstall at the corner of the alley, drifting towards the "Shiyi Bookstore." Xie Mo stood in front of the bookstore's faded bluewood door, his fingertips unconsciously stroking the strap of his shoulder bag. Tucked into the small side pocket was a dog-eared copy of "Border Town," which Li Huaizhou had lent him last week, saying, "There's an old bookmark inside. Remember to return it to me when you're done." Also nestled inside the bag was a red bean cake wrapped in oil paper, which he had bought this morning from a time-honored shop at the corner of the alley. Li Huaizhou had stared at the window display for a long time the other day, saying, "My mom used to buy me that when I was a kid."
The wooden door of the bookstore creaked open with the rusty creak of its hinges. The owner, who had been dozing off behind the counter, suddenly looked up, his reading glasses sliding to the tip of his nose. He squinted and looked at Xie Mo for a long time before slowly speaking, "Looking for that tall guy in the black T-shirt? I haven't seen him today. He usually comes by this time, but today he hasn't even set foot inside."
Xie Mo hummed, his steps so light as if he was afraid to disturb the dust accumulated on the bookshelf. He walked slowly along the bookshelf against the wall, his fingertips brushing against the gilded or faded spines of the books, but even after walking around the bookstore twice and even rummaging through the cardboard boxes of old magazines in the corner, he still didn't see anyone. Xie Mo took out his mobile phone, and when the screen lit up, his slightly pale face was reflected first - he dialed Li Huaizhuo's number three times in a row, and there were first two weak electric current sounds in the receiver, followed by a steady and cold reminder from a mechanical female voice: "The number you dialed is currently unavailable, please call again later." When he called for the third time, the call was directly disconnected, leaving only the "beep" busy tone, like a thin needle
So annoying...
He stood at the door of the bookstore as the wind blew over again. This time, without the scent of paper and ink, it carried the familiar aroma of cigarettes and alcohol—a scent wafting from the "Neon Bar" down the dark alley. Xie Mo's fingers tightened around his phone, remembering last week when Li Huaizhou, rubbing his temples, said, "I'll have to stay at the bar more often." He hadn't asked much at the time, but now he couldn't help but glance toward the dark alley. The plane tree leaves at the entrance of the alley were scattered all over the ground, making a "crunching" sound when stepped on. He walked slowly, each step a struggle, until he saw the dusty "Neon" sign. The pink-purple light bulb was half broken, the last stroke of the "rainbow" character dimmed, leaving only the "neon" character alone. Even in the daylight, it looked indescribably dilapidated.
The bar's rolling shutter door was pulled up to waist height, with a red brick underneath to prevent it from sliding down. The warm yellow light from inside streamed onto the ground in a narrow streak, like a crumpled ribbon. Xie Mo bent down and was about to get in when a voice from behind the bar stopped him: "What are you doing? It's not even opening time yet."
He looked up and saw the bartender, Old Chen, standing behind the bar, clutching a checkered cupcloth, gazing at him, an unfinished cigarette tucked between his fingers. Seeing Xie Mo, dressed in a clean white shirt and looking like a student, and also feeling familiar, Old Chen's frown relaxed a little and asked, "Looking for Li Huaizhou?"
Xie Mo nodded quickly, his voice a little anxious: "Yes, I didn't find him, and no one answered the phone... Is he here?"
Old Chen lowered his head and wiped the water stains on the edge of the cup. His movements were slow but careful. After a long time, he spoke: "I just went upstairs with the boss." He raised his hand and pointed in the direction of the stairs, his voice lowered a bit, "Go up, it should be over, go quietly and don't make any noise." After speaking, he lowered his head to wipe the cup again. The water droplets on the rim of the cup dripped onto the wooden bar counter, making a "tapping" sound, which was particularly clear in the quiet store.
Xie Mo hummed, and walked towards the stairs with light steps. The iron handrail of the stairs was cold and prickly. When the palm of his hand rubbed against it, he could feel the fine rust, which was astringent and painful, and had a unique metal smell. There were some black stains on the steps of the stairs, like the marks left after spilled wine dried. There were a few old posters on the wall, of pop singers from three or four years ago. The corners of the posters were curled up, and there were some light brown wine stains.
Reaching the second floor, the corridor grew even darker, its light filtered only by the window at the far end, casting long shadows on the ground. The hallway was thick with the stench of cigarettes and alcohol, mingled with a hint of cheap perfume. It was nauseating... and a bit irritating. The door to the innermost room was indeed ajar, leaving a tiny gap, the width of a finger. Smoke could be seen drifting out, like a thin white snake, slowly emerging from the crack and spreading out across the hallway.
Xie Mo stood at the door, his fingertips suspended in mid-air, just a few centimeters from the door, when he suddenly stopped. He could hear a soft sound from inside—the sizzle of a cigarette butt falling into the ashtray, and the gentle breathing of Li Huaizhou. But the next second, he gently pushed the door. The hinges, probably having been out of oil for a long time, creaked softly, a sound so soft, but like a pebble dropped into the quiet corridor.
The door slowly swung open half an inch, and the scene inside fell clearly into Xie Mo's eyes - Li Huaizhou was sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to the door, the collar of his black T-shirt tilted, revealing an eye-catching red mark on his collarbone, like a large patch of sunset falling on his body, but it was painful, and these bruises were faintly visible. He held a half-burned cigarette in his hand, and the smoke curled upwards, dispersing in the warm yellow light. The ashtray on the bedside was already half full of cigarette butts, some of which were still emitting faint blue smoke. In addition to the smell of cigarettes and alcohol, the air also had a lingering fishy, salty, and disgusting smell.
Li Huaizhou's shoulders were a little stiff, as if he hadn't recovered from the stagnation just now. His eyelashes drooped, and a long shadow fell on his eyes. He even seemed to have lost the strength to raise his head. It was not until he heard the sound of the door hinge that he turned around suddenly, and the cigarette in his hand almost fell to the ground, and the ash fell on his black T-shirt.
When he saw Xie Mo standing at the door, he froze, cigarette between his fingers, forgetting to smoke, even his breathing paused. His eyes were full of panic, like a child with a secret, whose secret was suddenly uncovered by someone else - Wen Juzhi was still here just now, those greasy touches, the drunken words, and the weight he was forced to bear, seemed to still linger on his skin, even the smell of his sweat still lingered in the air, choking his throat.
Xie Mo was standing at the door, wearing an off-white hooded sweatshirt, carrying a light gray shoulder bag, his ponytail lazily hanging down his back, his face still slightly flushed from having just walked out of the sun. He was like a beam of light that suddenly burst into the dark room, illuminating everything that Li Huaizhou had hidden in the shadows—the untidy collar, the ashtray full of cigarette butts, the ambiguous mark on his collarbone—all clearly, leaving no room for concealment.
The two looked at each other in silence. The only sound in the room was the sound of smoke slowly dispersing, and the occasional sound of bicycle bells coming from outside the window. The "ding-ling-ling" sound was very crisp, but it made the room even quieter. Li Huaizhou's Adam's apple moved.
I don't know what to say
He stared at Xie Mo's clean white shirt, then looked at his hands stained with cigarettes and alcohol. He suddenly pulled the corners of his mouth, his smile full of self-mockery, his voice hoarse as if covered with dust: "...You saw it all?" Seeing that Xie Mo didn't say anything, just stood there quietly, with no disgust or surprise in his eyes, only a kind of calmness that made him panic, Li Huaizhou spoke again, with a tone of impulsiveness: "Don't you want to like me? Do you want to give it a try? The friendship price is two hundred."
The moment he finished speaking, Xie Mo walked in and gently closed the door, moving very lightly, as if afraid to disturb something. He didn't touch Li Huaizhou's outstretched hand, nor did he say a word - he knew that it was useless to say anything now. Those words of comfort seemed too pale in the face of the scene before him. He walked in front of Li Huaizhou, squatted down, and then reached out, gently wrapped his arms around Li Huaizhou's waist, and buried his face in the sweaty crook of his neck.
"Okay, I'll give it to you later."
The kiss was very light, first touching the corner of his lips that smelled of cigarettes, with a bit of cautious tenderness, as if treating something fragile. Li Huaizhou's body stiffened, and the cigarette in his hand fell to the ground with a "click". When sparks flew, he reacted and raised his hand to grab Xie Mo's back. His knuckles turned white because of the force, and his nails almost dug into Xie Mo's flesh. Xie Mo's kiss slowly moved to the end of his trembling eyes, gently licking the moisture in the corners of his eyes - Li Huaizhou didn't want to cry, it was too embarrassing, but tears quietly slid down and fell on Xie Mo's fingertips that were caressing his face, feeling cool. Then, the kiss fell to his neck, rubbing the marks on his collarbone, as if using body temperature to wipe away the marks that made him sick. Li Huaizhou's body slowly relaxed, no longer stiff. Instead, he reached out and hugged Xie Mo's waist tightly, burying his face in the collar of his clean shirt. His breath was filled with the faint smell of laundry detergent from Xie Mo, which was clean and refreshing, forming a sharp contrast with the smell of cigarettes and alcohol in the room.
The sky outside the window gradually darkened into inky black. People began to come into the bar downstairs, but the noise was blocked outside by the thick door. The only sounds in the room were the intertwined breathing of the two people and Xie Mo's gentle kiss.
Xie Mo's kiss was fierce, from his forehead to his brow, from his cheek to the corner of his lips, over and over again, as if to comfort him. Li Huaizhou's hands slowly loosened, no longer tightly grasping Xie Mo's shirt, but gently stroking his back, his fingertips rubbing the texture of the fabric on his shirt, with a bit of dependence in his movements. He would occasionally respond to Xie Mo's kiss, clumsily knocking his lips
The small table lamp at the head of the bed was on, and the warm yellow light wrapped around the overlapping shadows of the two people, casting it on the mottled wall, like a flowing painting. The cigarette butts in the ashtray slowly cooled down, and the smell of tobacco and alcohol in the air was gradually overwhelmed by the smell of laundry detergent on Xie Mo's body, leaving only a faint warmth. When Xie Mo kissed Li Huaizhuo's collarbone, he bit it lightly, not hard, but just a soothing lick. Li Huaizhuo's body trembled, but he did not dodge, but leaned a little closer to his arms.
He didn't remember what happened after that. He seemed to have fallen asleep, but he could still feel Xie Mo's lips coming towards him intermittently. He reached out and gently touched Xie Mo's cheek. His voice was hoarse, but very clear: "Don't go."
Xie Mo didn't say anything, but hugged him tightly again, resting his chin on his shoulder, breathing gently on his neck. The warm light in the room was still on, and the overlapping shadows of the two people swayed on the wall, like two small islands.
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