haven't seen you for a long time
At 6:30 in the evening, when the taxi stopped at the entrance of Wutong Lane, Li Huaizhou's fingertips were still unconsciously rubbing the zipper of his guitar bag. The metal zipper head was shiny from his touch, reflecting the orange-pink sunset in the sky. He pulled the brim of his hat and buried half of his face in the shadows. The blue highlights on his hair were added last month. Ji Jiancheng always said that the color "didn't match the milky white walls of the cat cafe", but he didn't change it. Xie Mo said it looked good back then, and even if it was a memory left by Wen Juzhi, he didn't want to change it.
"We're here!" The driver's voice brought him back to his senses. Li Huaizhou looked up and realized that he had been staring at an old photo of Xie Mo on his phone the whole way. The photo was a blurry one. It was taken under the evergreen tree at school in the evening. Xie Mo was holding Li Huaizhou's schoolbag. The photo was taken when Li Huaizhou was playing with him. It was very blurry, and his face could not be seen clearly. The focus was on the tree next to him. It was also the only photo, and Li Huaizhou had used it as a wallpaper for eight years. When he regained consciousness, he quickly turned off the phone, paid the fare and got out of the car.
The back door of the private club exudes grandeur. The black carved iron gate is covered with forget-me-nots. The light from the street lamp shines on the petals, like a layer of broken diamonds. Li Huaizhou clenched the invitation letter in his hand, his fingertips sweating slightly. The letter paper was gold-stamped, with intricate patterns printed on the edges. It was completely different from the wrinkled performance list in the small venues he usually went to. He took a deep breath, walked forward to identify himself to the security guard, and his hands were shaking a little when he handed over the invitation letter. When the security guard checked the information, he couldn't help but glance inside. He could see the string lights by the swimming pool were on, like stars falling on the water. He couldn't help but mutter in his heart: "This is too exaggerated. Three thousand yuan for singing a song. It turns out that rich people really don't understand the world."
Entering the backstage area, a noisy atmosphere hit us. A makeup artist was retouching the model's makeup, a lighting technician was adjusting the equipment, and several waiters in black suits hurried by with trays. Li Huaizhou was standing there in a daze when he saw Chen Ningyuan standing in the corner, talking to a girl. Chen Ningyuan was wearing a red dress today, her curly hair draped over her shoulders, and a pair of pearl earrings. She looked more fashionable than the last time they met. She frowned slightly, as if she was explaining something important, and her expression was a little serious.
Li Huaizhou hesitated for a long time, then stepped forward and called out softly, "Sister Yuan, what should I do?"
Chen Ningyuan turned around and saw him. Her brows instantly relaxed, a smile appeared on her face, and her tone became much gentler. "You're here. Is there no traffic? Go wait in the lounge first. I'll have someone bring you a bottle of water. Someone will come to call you on stage at the time." She pointed to a room not far away. "There's a sofa in there. You can rest for a while. If you need to tune your guitar, there's a tuner inside."
Li Huaizhou nodded, said "Thank you, Sister Yuan," and then shouldered his guitar bag into the lounge. The room wasn't large, but it was tidy. The sofa was off-white, and a plate of fruit candies sat on the coffee table. He placed his guitar bag on the sofa and sat down. He didn't feel like resting. He pulled out his phone and started scrolling through short videos, his eyes glued to the time. He felt increasingly nervous—this was his first time performing at such a large-scale gala, and the audience was filled with wealthy people. What if he sang wrong? What if he forgot the lyrics?
Time flew by, and before he knew it, it was eight o'clock. Someone knocked on the door, saying it was his turn to go on stage. Li Huaizhou stood up, took a deep breath, put on his guitar bag, and followed the person out. As he reached the stage entrance, he could hear the applause and laughter from the audience, and his heart beat faster, almost as if it would burst out of his throat. He adjusted his breathing, gripped his guitar strap tightly, and walked onto the stage the moment the lights came on.
The stage was huge, and the spotlight shone on him, making him a bit blinding. He gathered himself and looked down at the audience. The dense crowd made him feel a bit dizzy. He quickly lowered his head, adjusted the strap of his guitar, and placed his fingers on the strings, ready to play. Only when the prelude sounded did he slowly relax. He had practiced Xu Song's "Best Singer" countless times, and the melody was already ingrained in his bones.
"Our best chance to meet is in an April like this..." He began to sing, his voice clear and youthful, unchanged from the past. He lowered his eyes, intently concentrating on the strings, his fingers dancing nimbly across them. His mind was focused solely on the lyrics, not daring to glance at the audience. But when he reached the chorus, he subconsciously glanced toward the main table—there sat the host, the center of attention.
This glance made him completely frozen.
The man sitting at the main table wore a dark gray suit and a burgundy tie. His long hair was casually tied up, but it was clearly styled. He was holding a glass of red wine and talking to the girl next to him with his head tilted to one side. The outline of his face was particularly clear under the light. Li Huaizhou's heart suddenly sank, and he almost dropped the microphone in his hand. His voice trembled a little - it was Xie Mo, it really was Xie Mo.
How did he get here? Wasn't he in Paris? Why was he back? Was he the one who hosted this party? Did he invite him here on purpose? Countless questions flooded Li Huaizhou's mind like a tide, almost making him forget to sing. He quickly averted his gaze, forcing himself to focus, but his fingertips trembled uncontrollably, and the strings sounded a little off-tune. He took a deep breath, tried hard to recall the lyrics, and finally managed to finish the rest of the song.
When he left the stage, his legs were weak and he stumbled all the way back to the lounge. He sat on the sofa and picked up the water cup on the coffee table, but his hands were shaking violently. He stared at the water in the cup, his mind full of Xie Mo's appearance - he had changed, but he seemed to have not changed. His features had grown, and he had lost his youthful immaturity, becoming more mature and steady, but his eyes were still the same, gentle with a hint of smile, like the boy who had explained the problem to him seriously back then.
Then who is the girl next to him... Li Huaizhou suddenly thought of the girl at the main table, and his heart tightened. The girl was wearing a white dress, with long hair draped over her shoulders, and she smiled gently. She looked very compatible with Xie Mo. Is she his girlfriend? But doesn't Xie Mo like boys? Memories pierced his heart like needles, making him breathless. He thought eight years was enough time to forget Xie Mo, enough time to bury those sweet memories deep in his heart, but the moment he saw Xie Mo just now, he realized that he hadn't forgotten at all. Those memories were like seeds, taking root and sprouting in his heart, but he had never dared to admit it.
After the party, Li Huaizhou packed up his guitar bag and tried to leave this place that had made him so flustered. He went to the bathroom to wash his face and calm down. The cold water splashed on his face, making him feel a little more sober. But just as he raised his head to wipe his face, his steps suddenly stopped - Xie Mo was standing in front of him, holding a suit jacket in his hand, looking at him.
Li Huaizhou's heart began to beat "pounding" again. He subconsciously wanted to hide, but he didn't know where to hide. He opened his mouth and squeezed out a sentence after a long time: "Thank you... Mr. Xie." After saying that, he wanted to turn around and leave, but was grabbed by Xie Mo's wrist.
Xie Mo's hand was warm, with a familiar temperature on his fingertips, just like eight years ago when he grabbed her hand and asked, "Let's not break up, okay?" Li Huaizhou's body froze, not daring to look back or speak.
Xie Mo's voice came through the wind, low and a little hoarse: "Long time no see, do you want to... catch up?"
Li Huaizhou's nose felt sore and tears almost fell. He bit his lip and said in a trembling voice, "I'm a little tired." "Then let's go have a meal?" Xie Mo's voice was tentative. "There's a Cantonese restaurant nearby. The food is pretty good. I remember you used to like shrimp dumplings."
Li Huaizhou's heart suddenly tightened. Xie Mo still remembered what he liked to eat... He knew he couldn't hide anymore, and didn't want to hide anymore, so he said "hmm" softly.
Xie Mo's grip loosened, but he didn't let go of his wrist. He simply pulled him out. Li Huaizhou followed him, looking at his back, feeling a mixture of emotions. Xie Mo's suit fit him perfectly, and his back was straight and straight. He looked completely different from the boy in school uniform and carrying a schoolbag. However, his walking posture was still the same, gently shaking his shoulders, like a child who had not grown up.
Arriving at the Cantonese restaurant, it was bustling with people and filled with the atmosphere of everyday life. Xie Mo found a seat by the window, picked up the menu, and expertly ordered two baskets of shrimp dumplings, a serving of roast meat, a bowl of preserved egg and lean meat congee, and a serving of tomato beef brisket—all Li Huaizhou's favorites. Li Huaizhou sat across from him, watching him ordering, and felt a pang of bitterness in his heart. He remembered that Xie Mo didn't like the preserved egg and lean meat congee before, saying it "tasted weird," but he would always eat with him.
The dishes arrived quickly. Xie Mo pushed the shrimp dumplings in front of Li Huaizhou and said with a smile, "Eat them quickly. They won't taste good if they get cold."
Li Huaizhou picked up his chopsticks, picked up a shrimp dumpling, and put it in his mouth. The familiar taste spread on his tongue, reminding him of the past. But he had no appetite. He just lowered his head and ate the porridge in his bowl. His mind was full of the scene of the day they broke up - Xie Mo stood in the back alley of "Neon", with red eyes, and Gushen reached out to hug him, his voice tinged with tears: "Baby, let's not break up, okay?"
He was the one who pushed Xie Mo away. He said, "Two boys together, how disgusting," and "I took your dad's money." He watched Xie Mo's tears fall like beads from a broken string, but he didn't dare look back. He was afraid that if he looked back, he would be unable to resist and follow Xie Mo, afraid that his puddle of mud would dirty Xie Mo's clean sky.
"How have you been these years?" Xie Mo suddenly spoke, breaking the silence.
Li Huaizhou's hand paused, his voice trembling a little: "It's good, life is pretty stable." He didn't say how difficult it was when he opened the store, nor did he say that he always had nightmares at night, nor did he say that every time he saw the snow pear milk lollipop, he would think of him. Fortunately, in the third year after Xie Mo left, the snow pear milk flavored Alps was discontinued. No one knew why, but suddenly one day it disappeared from all the stores in the city. It disappeared silently, just like him.
Xie Mo looked at him with tenderness and a little distress in his eyes: "I heard that you opened a cat cafe called 'Mint Fluff Tail', is that right?"
Li Huaizhou nodded, not daring to look him in the eye. He had chosen the name "Mint Velvet Tail" on purpose - "Mint" was the smell of Xie Mo, and "Velvet Tail" was the name of the first cat he adopted. The cat's tail was furry, like a small ball of fluff. He thought this name would bring him closer to Xie Mo, but he didn't expect that eight years later, he would mention it.
The two of them didn't say much the entire time. Li Huaizhou just lowered his head and ate the rice in his bowl, just wanting to quickly end this meal that made him anxious. Xie Mo, on the other hand, ate slowly and leisurely, occasionally putting a piece of roast meat in his bowl, just like in the past.
After dinner, Xie Mo offered to take him home. Li Huaizhou did not refuse or agree, but just followed him out of the Cantonese restaurant silently. Xie Mo's car was parked on the side of the road. It was a classic Rolls-Royce, and the black body was shining under the street lights. Li Huaizhou sat in the passenger seat, and his hands were still shaking when he fastened his seat belt. The air conditioner was on in the car, which seemed very comfortable in the hot summer. Xie Mo started the car, but did not drive it immediately. Instead, he was silent for a while and suddenly spoke
"You think we..."
Li Huaizhou's heart suddenly tightened. He knew what Xie Mo wanted to say, but he was afraid he would say it. He quickly interrupted him: "No."
Xie Mo's grip on the steering wheel tightened, his knuckles turning white, but he didn't say anything. The atmosphere in the car instantly became awkward, with only the sound of the air conditioner ringing in his ears. The car soon arrived at the door of "Mint Velvet Tail". Li Huaizhou unbuckled his seat belt, picked up his guitar bag, and wanted to get out of the car quickly. But just as he pushed open the car door, Xie Mo suddenly said, "Can I come in and sit down?"
Li Huaizhou paused. He looked back at Xie Mo, then at the lights in the shop—the cats inside were probably still waiting for him to feed them. He hesitated for a moment, then shook his head. "It's almost closing time. I'll close the shop after I feed them..."
Xie Mo's eyes darkened, but he didn't insist anymore. He just smiled and said, "Then come and see when I'm not busy? Boss Zhou..."
The three words "Boss Zhou" were teasing, with a slightly sticky ending, just like when he'd called him "baby" back then, making him blush. He hurriedly said "hmm," pushed open the car door, and ran to the store, forgetting even to say "thank you."
When he entered the store, the cats in the store heard the noise and gathered around. The calico kitten rubbed his trouser leg like a "puppet" and butted his hand with its head. Several kittens jumped onto the sofa and meowed around him. Li Huaizhou squatted down, hugged the calico kitten in his arms, buried his face in its soft fur, and his cold fingertips finally felt a little warm. He poured cat food for the cats, and watched them eat it voraciously, and he felt a little relieved. He went upstairs, lay on the bed, looked at the chandelier on the ceiling, and his mind was full of Xie Mo's appearance. What does he want to do? Does he want to get back together with himself? But they have been separated for eight years, and many things have changed. There is no need to go back.
Just as he was lost in thought, his phone suddenly vibrated. He picked it up and saw an unfamiliar text message. The content was simple: "I'll visit you tomorrow and check out the cats." The sender's profile picture was a photo of a hand holding a candied strawberry haws, with snow falling in the background and a large electronic clock pointing to 12:16. This was a photo taken by Li Huaizhou after the Spring Festival kiss, and it left a particularly deep impression on him.
Li Huaizhou stared at the text message, his finger hovering on the screen, not moving for a long time. He knew that he could no longer hide. Eight years had passed like a long dream, and now it was time to wake up. He picked up his phone and typed a text message back: "OK"
The moonlight from the window shone in, falling on the bed like a layer of silver frost. Li Huaizhou turned over and looked at the white down jacket piled on the bedside. This down jacket of Xie Mo had been carefully hidden by Li Huaizhou for eight years. It was also one of the few things Xie Mo left behind. Li Huaizhou would still wear it in winter. From being too big to fitting, and then to being unable to wear it, it had always been well protected. Ji Jiancheng had also ridiculed it several times, saying "You are your own boss, but you are still so stingy." Later, he would still pile this down jacket on the bed, as if he was still there.
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