I Almost Killed You (I)
The morning light streamed through the window, casting a pale golden glow on the floor. When Xie Mo opened his eyes, he found someone curled up in his arms. Li Huaizhou lay on his side, his face buried in the crook of his neck. His breathing was light and even, and the loose hair on his forehead trembled slightly in the breeze. Even the fading kiss mark on the back of his neck seemed soft.
Xie Mo glanced down at his phone. The screen showed six fifteen, leaving him with less than three hours until boarding time. It would take at least forty minutes to get from Mint Velvet Tail to the airport, and with the check-in and security checks, time was already tight. His fingertips gently rubbed the back of Li Huaizhou's neck, the touch delicate and warm, and memories of last night instantly flooded back: it was almost eleven o'clock when they returned to the store. Tiandou had been making a fuss twice more, and Xie Mo had squatted by the cardboard box to accompany it for over half an hour, while Li Huaizhou was beside him, adding food and changing water for the other kittens, mumbling to himself. By the time they had settled their cat sons, it was almost midnight when they went upstairs. Li Huaizhou slumped on the sofa and refused to move, insisting on dragging Xie Mo to watch the movie that had been put aside for half a month.
The movie's dialogue wasn't even half over when Li Huaizhou dozed off on his shoulder, his head nodding like a sleepy kitten. When Xie Mo carried him to bed, he was still drowsily clutching at Xie Mo's clothes, mumbling, "I haven't finished watching it yet." It was only with gentle coaxing that he finally fell into a deep sleep.
"Baby, it's time to wake up." Xie Mo's voice was very soft, and his fingertips slowly stroked along Li Huaizhou's back, trying to wake him up. But the person in his arms just hummed, snuggled into his arms again, buried his face deeper, and even hid the tips of his ears in his collar. Xie Mo smiled helplessly, lowered his head and pressed a light kiss to the top of his head: "Don't miss the plane again, baby."
"Sleepy..." Li Huaizhou's voice was muffled, with a hoarseness that came from just waking up. The ending tone was long and trembling with a bit of grievance. He stretched out his arms, wrapped them around Xie Mo's waist, and almost hung himself on him. "Sleep for ten more minutes, just ten minutes..."
"No." Xie Mo gently pinched his waist, which was surprisingly thin and could almost be completely wrapped with one arm. "I told you to go to bed early last night, but you insisted on finishing that movie. Now you're sleepy?" Although he said so, there was no blame in his tone. He propped himself up and sat up, carefully holding Li Huaizhou in his arms, letting him lean on his chest. "Get up and wash up first. I'll go get you a cup of hot milk. After you drink it, we'll leave."
Li Huaizhou closed his eyes and shook his head, rubbing his head on Xie Mo's chest. "I don't want to move... my waist is still sore..."
Xie Mo paused at these words, his eyes instantly filled with heartache. He looked down at the man in his arms. Li Huaizhou had become much thinner than he had been in high school. Back then, though thin, he had a youthful vigor, broad shoulders, and arms with thin muscles developed from basketball. But now, leaning against him, he could clearly feel the outline of his shoulder blades through the thin pajamas. The lines of his back were too smooth, and even his waist and abdomen had lost the firmness they once had, as if they could break with the slightest force.
Xie Mo's fingertips gently brushed against Li Huaizhou's waist, feeling the thin layer of muscle, and his heart felt like something was tugging at him. How had he gotten through all these years? Xie Mo lowered his head and kissed the top of Li Huaizhou's head, secretly vowing in his heart: This time when I come back, I must make him fatter, at least back to the size he was in high school, so that his waist and abdomen can have some flesh again, so that when he smiles, his cheeks can bulge out a little soft flesh.
"Be good, get up." Xie Mo patiently coaxed, reaching out to straighten the collar of Li Huaizhou's pajamas, "I'll accompany you to wash up, and I'll help you put on your clothes, okay?"
Li Huaizhou always had a bad temper when he woke up. If it were anyone else, they would have been angry and sullen by now, but with Xie Mo, he was just dependent and aggrieved. He slowly opened his eyes, the corners of his eyes were red, and his eyelashes were wet, as if he had just cried. He looked at Xie Mo and stretched out his hand, "Then carry me to wash up."
"Okay." Xie Mo didn't say anything and picked him up by the waist. His arms were able to hold him steadily without any effort. He carried him into the bathroom, put Li Huaizhou on the sink, turned around, squeezed the toothpaste, filled the bowl with warm water, and then handed the toothbrush to him.
Li Huaizhou sat on the stage, swinging his legs and slowly biting his toothbrush. His eyes were not yet fully focused, and there was a little toothpaste foam on the corner of his mouth. Xie Mo stood in front of him and reached out to help him wipe the foam off the corner of his mouth. His fingertips accidentally touched his lips, and the soft touch made his heart tremble. Li Huaizhou flinched at his touch and mumbled with the toothbrush in his mouth: "Stop it..."
"No." Xie Mo smiled and took back his hand, helping him to tidy up his messy hair. "Brush it quickly, and change your clothes after you're done."
By the time Li Huaizhou finished washing up, Xie Mo had already brought his clothes over: a light blue short-sleeved shirt and a pair of loose khaki trousers, both of which were Li Huaizhou's usual styles. He walked to the sink and carefully helped Li Huaizhou take off his pajamas. He then picked up the short-sleeved shirt and gently put it on him. Li Huaizhou cooperated and raised his arm, allowing Xie Mo to help him adjust his collar. His fingers unconsciously grasped Xie Mo's wrist, as if seeking a sense of security.
"Can you put on your pants by yourself?" Xie Mo squatted down and looked up at him. Li Huaizhou shook his head and stretched out his legs. "No..."
Xie Mo reluctantly reached out to help him put on his pants. When he pulled them up to his waist, his fingertips touched that slender waist again, and his heartache increased a little more. He helped Li Huaizhou tie his belt, then squatted down to help him put on his shoes. Li Huaizhou cooperated obediently throughout the whole process. After packing up, Xie Mo went to the kitchen to heat a cup of milk. After watching Li Huaizhou drink it in small sips, he picked up their suitcases and walked out holding his hand. Li Huaizhou's hand was slightly cold, and Xie Mo subconsciously put his hand in his pocket, holding it with the warmth of his palm.
"Is it cold?" Xie Mo asked.
"A little." Li Huaizhou leaned beside him, walking slowly, with a lazy look as if he hadn't woken up yet.
Xie Mo turned around and closed the door of the Mint Velvet Tail, then saw a familiar car parked not far away. Ji Jiancheng was leaning over and shouting, his voice filled with anxiety: "Brother Zhou! If you dawdle any longer, the plane will be taking off! We've been waiting for you for half an hour!"
Xie Mo led Li Huaizhou over, opened the car door, and let him get in first. Ji Jiancheng, who was sitting in the passenger seat, turned around and saw Li Huaizhou's listless appearance. He couldn't help but tease, "Brother Zhou, are you so exhausted by Mr. Xie that you can't get up? Why is your face so pale?" Li Huaizhou was already lacking energy due to waking up early, and after being teased by Ji Jiancheng, he glared at him and said in a voice that was a bit grouchy: "Shut up."
Ji Jiancheng shut up tactfully and winked at Xie Mo secretly. Xie Mo got into the back seat and naturally hugged Li Huaizhou into his arms, letting him lean on his shoulder: "Sleep a little longer, I'll call you when we get to the airport."
Li Huaizhou hummed, closed his eyes, and soon fell asleep again. Shen Qitang glanced at the two people in the back seat through the rearview mirror without saying a word. When they arrived at the airport, there were only twenty minutes left before boarding. Xie Mo gently woke Li Huaizhou up and half-carried him to the check-in gate. Li Huaizhou was not fully awake yet, his steps were unsteady, and he relied entirely on Xie Mo for support. Ji Jiancheng and Shen Qitang followed behind, carrying several people's luggage in their hands, and kept muttering: "Fortunately, Brother Shen drove fast, otherwise we would really miss the flight."
When going through security, Li Huaizhou finally regained consciousness. He watched Xie Mo help him take the security basket and put his phone and keys in it one by one. He couldn't help but whisper, "I can do it myself."
"It's okay." Xie Mo smiled and ruffled his hair, "Just stand there."
By the time they boarded the plane, Li Huaizhou's mood had improved a lot. He followed Xie Mo to find his seat and yawned as soon as he sat down. Xie Mo took out headphones from his bag and gave one to Li Huaizhou: "Put them on and sleep for a while."
Li Huaizhou took the headphones and put them on. Familiar melodies came from the headphones. The top one was a song Li Huaizhou sang in junior high school, and the next one was a song he later posted on his social account. He glanced at Xie Mo with a hint of surprise in his eyes. "Do you listen to it often?"
"I haven't deleted it." Xie Mo helped him adjust the position of his headphones. "Go to sleep quickly. I'll call you when we get off the plane." Li Huaizhou nodded, leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. Although it was a bit strange to listen to himself singing, fortunately, the people around him were so reassuring. After a while, his breathing became steady and he fell asleep completely.
Ji Jiancheng and Shen Qitang chatted for a few words, then leaned back in their chairs and closed their eyes to rest. The cabin was very quiet, with only the faint sound of the air conditioner and the distant voice of the flight attendant. After an unknown amount of time, Shen Qitang suddenly opened his eyes, turned his head to look at Xie Mo, and lowered his voice: "Has your family agreed?"
Xie Mo was helping Li Huaizhou pull up the blanket that had slipped off. He paused when he heard this, turned to look at Shen Qitang, and said calmly, "I guess so." "I guess so?" Shen Qitang frowned, a hint of worry in his eyes. "Xie Mo, Huaizhou and I have been friends since junior high school. I know what kind of person he is better than anyone else. His condition has been obvious in recent years. He can't stand being separated for the second time. If you're just coming back for fun this time, don't delay him any longer."
Xie Mo's fingertips gently brushed across Li Huaizhou's cheek, his movements incredibly gentle. He lowered his eyes to look at the person sleeping peacefully in his arms, the emotions in his eyes were complex and difficult to discern: heartache, guilt, and unquestionable determination: "I had no choice back then, and now I won't let go."
Chen Qitang was silent for a moment, as if he remembered something, his voice was a little heavy: "The year you left, in the middle of the night on November 7, Huaizhou suddenly called me crying, saying that he couldn't find you. I have never seen him like that, crying so hard that he couldn't even speak clearly, and his words were intermittent, all "Where is Xie Mo?" "Does he not want me anymore?" Xie Mo's body suddenly stiffened, and the movement of his fingertips stopped instantly. Li Huaizhou's birthday... He had promised to spend every birthday with him.
"Later, his mental state has been bad." Shen Qitang's voice continued to come, like a blunt knife, slowly cutting Xie Mo's heart, "Insomnia, unable to sleep all night long, sometimes he would have hallucinations, always saying that he saw you waiting for him downstairs. He couldn't eat, only a few bites at a time, he was so thin that he was just a bag of bones. Ji Jiancheng took him to the hospital, and the doctor prescribed medicine, but he refused to take it..."
Xie Mo's eyes instantly turned red. He lowered his head to look at Li Huaizhou's sleeping face. His face was pale and thin, with a faint dark blue under his eye sockets. It was obvious that he had not been sleeping well in recent years. A warm tear slipped from the corner of his eye and disappeared silently into Li Huaizhou's hair, leaving no trace. He reached out and gently hugged Li Huaizhou, his voice trembling with an imperceptible "I'm sorry..."
Chen Qitang looked at him and didn't say anything more. He just sighed softly and closed his eyes again. The cabin was quiet again, with only the melodies flowing gently in the headphones, accompanying Li Huaizhou to sleep.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
