We don't break up
The words "Let's break up" were like shattered ice frozen in the cold wind. As soon as they landed in the alley, Xie Mo's outstretched hand suddenly stopped. His knuckles were still curled up, wanting to touch Li Huaizhou's cheek, but his fingertips were only millimeters away from the blood-stained skin, but they froze in mid-air, and even his breathing stopped for a moment. Before he could retract the heartache in his eyes, it was covered by a thick layer of astonishment. His originally red eyes seemed to suddenly freeze, and even the emotions that had been surging just now became stagnant.
Subconsciously, Xie Mo tried to grab Li Huaizhou's hand. He saw Li Huaizhou's fingers curled up on his knees, his nails bluish-white, clearly frozen. But as soon as his fingertips touched the back of Li Huaizhou's hand, it was violently swatted away. Li Huaizhou's movements were swift and fierce, with a bit of uncontrolled force, and the back of his hand collided with Xie Mo's wrist with a soft "snap" sound.
"Don't touch me!" Li Huaizhou's voice was even colder than before, even with a hint of deliberately feigned ruthlessness, but the trembling arc in the tail tone was still not hidden. He suddenly lowered his head and buried his face in his knees. The mud and water on his school uniform pants rubbed against his cheeks, and the cold touch made him sober up a little - he didn't dare to look at Xie Mo, not even a glance. He was afraid of looking up and meeting Xie Mo's incredulous eyes, afraid that Xie Mo would frown and ask "Why", and even more afraid that Xie Mo's eyes would slowly show disgust, disgust for his cowardice in front of He Yanbin just now, disgust for his cowardly look now covered in mud and not even daring to look up.
The distance between him and Xie Mo was never something that could be measured by academic performance. Xie Mo was a boy basking in the sun, his notebooks always neatly arranged, his uniform always clean, even his eyelashes glistening with light when he smiled. And he, on the other hand, was a bastard from an alley, burdened with the stigma of being a "Neon" and held captive by Wen Juzhi. Even the thought of resisting was a matter of debate. When he'd said he wanted to break up, his heart ached like a knife, but he was even more afraid that if he dragged it out any longer, Xie Mo would see his true colors and walk away. It would be better for him to speak first, at least he could still maintain some dignity.
Xie Mo shrank back after being pushed by him. His wrist still felt slightly numb from being hit. The wind in the alley was still blowing, blowing snow particles onto the two of them. Xie Mo's mind was filled with Li Huaizhou's words "Let's break up" and the way he pushed her away fiercely (cute...
After a long while, Xie Mo slowly squatted down. His voice was a little lower than before, but it was filled with a seriousness that could not be refused. He reached out and gently touched Li Huaizhou's arm with his fingertips. This time, the movement was very gentle, as if he was afraid to startle anything fragile. Then he slowly moved under his chin and carefully cupped his face. "Baby, be good, look at me."
"Let go..." Li Huaizhou struggled to turn his head, trying to avoid his hand, but Xie Mo's fingertips, though light, were firm and held his head steady, preventing him from burying it any further. He twisted his neck awkwardly, his Adam's apple rolling, but he dared not open his eyes. He was afraid that if he did, tears would fall, and that the defense he had held for so long would completely collapse in front of Xie Mo.
The alley fell silent again. Heavy metal music could be heard faintly from the neon lights, intermittently. Xie Mo didn't force him to open his eyes. He just slowly withdrew the hand that was supporting his chin, and instead reached out to the top of his head, gently rubbing it. "Baby, we won't break up." Xie Mo's voice was very soft, but it was like a stone that landed steadily on Li Huaizhou's heart, "Unless you look at me and tell me clearly that you really want to end it."
Li Huaizhou's body suddenly stopped, and hot tears flowed down the corners of his eyes like beads with broken strings, hitting the back of Xie Mo's hand that was holding his chin, and the heat made Xie Mo's fingertips tremble slightly. Xie Mo did not speak again, nor did he force him to look up. He slowly withdrew his hand, turned and walked towards the books scattered on the ground, and carefully picked up the math key points. He first used his fingertips to brush off the mud spots on the cover. Li Huaizhou lay on his knees, secretly opened his eyes, and looked at his back through the gap in his arms. There were several mud marks on the back of Xie Mo's down jacket, which were rubbed when he squatted down just now. He usually cares about the cleanliness of his clothes, and even has a little anatomy, but now, he doesn't care at all. He just picks up the books that were stepped on and holds them in his arms.
"Don't pick it up..." Li Huaizhou's voice was muffled, with a hoarseness from crying, "It's all dirty and useless."
Xie Mo paused as he picked up the book, then turned his head, his eyes serious as he said word by word: "It's useful. These are all proof that you're getting better. We summed them up together, how could they be useless?"
His words were like a fuse, instantly igniting the grievances Li Huaizhou had been holding back for a long time. The pain of being beaten by He Yanbin, the humiliation of being called a "bastard", the shame of almost accepting dirty money, and the heartache of saying goodbye, all came flooding back. Li Huaizhou could no longer hold it in. His shoulders began to tremble uncontrollably, and a small whimper escaped his throat. He didn't dare cry out loud, it was too embarrassing...
He wanted to throw himself into Xie Mo's arms and tell him all his grievances, but he looked down at his clothes - his school uniform was covered in mud and even his hands were stained with mud. He was afraid that if he threw himself over, Xie Mo's clean down jacket would be dirty, so he could only clutch his pants tightly and suppress his crying. Xie Mo heard his sobs, and his heart seemed to be pulled. He carefully put the book in his arms aside, then turned around, slowly walked to Li Huaizhuo, bent down, stretched out his arms, and held him steadily in his arms. He deliberately avoided Li Huaizhuo's injured left arm, and gently protected his back with his palm.
"I'm here." Xie Mo's voice was close to his ear, a little hoarse, but very gentle. He patted Li Huaizhou's back gently and said, "It will feel better if you cry."
Li Huaizhou buried himself in his arms, breathing in the familiar scent of soapberry, finally unable to contain himself any longer. He stretched out his uninjured right hand, tightly grasped the hem of Xie Mo's down jacket, pressed his face against his chest, and burst into tears. His tears soaked Xie Mo's down jacket, but Xie Mo paid no attention. He simply patted his back gently, repeating, "I'm here," over and over again, until Li Huaizhou's sobs gradually faded, leaving only intermittent gasps.
After an unknown amount of time, Li Huaizhou finally tired of crying, and leaned his head on Xie Mo's shoulder, his breathing slowly becoming steady. Xie Mo gently rubbed his cheek and said, "Are you feeling better? Let's go take care of the wound."
Li Huaizhou nodded, his voice still a little muffled: "Yeah."
Xie Mo helped him stand up slowly, then carefully put the books on the ground into his own bag. Li Huaizhou's left knee had just hit the ice puddle, and now it hurt when he moved. Xie Mo simply put his arm on his shoulder and half-supported, half-carried him towards the alley entrance. The snow was still falling. Li Huaizhou turned his head to look at Xie Mo's profile. The tip of his nose was red from the cold, but he would still lower his head from time to time to ask him "Does it hurt?" and "Do you want to rest for a while?" His heart felt like it was filled with something sore and soft.
After exiting the alley, there were shops just outside. Xie Mo helped Li Huaizhou into the nearest one. The warm yellow light washed over them, dispelling the chill. The clerk behind the cashier glanced at them, perhaps noticing the injuries on Li Huaizhou's face and the dirt on his body. A hint of surprise flashed in her eyes, but she didn't ask any more questions. She just lowered her head and continued scanning the code.
Xie Mo asked Li Huaizhou to sit on a high stool by the window and told him "Don't move, I'm going to buy something" and then turned to walk towards the shelf. He quickly took a bottle of iodine, a pack of sterile cotton swabs, a roll of elastic bandage, and also took two boxes of hot milk and a snow pear milk flavored lollipop.
After paying, Xie Mo came over with the bag and stuffed the hot milk into Li Huaizhou's hand: "Warm your hands first." Li Huaizhou took the milk, and the warm touch spread from his fingertips to his palms, slowly dispelling the coldness in his hands. He watched Xie Mo sitting on the high stool next to him, taking out the things in the bag one by one, his movements orderly. "Deal with the wound on your face first." Xie Mo opened the bottle cap of iodine tincture, and a faint smell of disinfectant wafted out. He picked up a cotton swab, dipped some iodine tincture, then looked up at Li Huaizhou with a little caution in his eyes: "It may be a little painful, bear with it, I'll be gentle."
Li Huaizhou nodded and raised his face obediently. Xie Mo's fingertips gently pinched his chin, and then used a cotton swab dipped in iodine to gently touch the bloodstain on his cheek. The stimulation of iodine came instantly, with a little sharp pain, but Xie Mo's movements were very light, and the cotton swab just gently rubbed the wound without any force, for fear of hurting him.
"Does it hurt?" Xie Mo asked in a low voice while gently applying iodine.
"It doesn't hurt." Li Huaizhou shook his head, his eyes falling on Xie Mo's fingers - Xie Mo's fingertips were very clean, and his nails were neatly trimmed. When he helped him pick up the book just now, his fingertips were stained with some mud, but now it has been wiped clean, leaving only a faint trace of iodine.
After treating the wound on his face, Xie Mo went to look at his hands. The back of Li Huaizhou's hand was covered in mud, so Xie Mo took a wet towel and carefully wiped it. His movements were gentle, and afterward, he dipped a cotton swab in iodine and gently applied it to the small scratch on the back of his hand.
Just as Xie Mo lowered his head to help him apply iodine, Li Huaizhou suddenly spoke in a very soft voice, as if afraid of being blown away by the wind: "I'm sorry... I don't want to break up."
Xie Mo paused while applying iodine, then slowly raised his head, looked into his eyes, and nodded gently: "I know." He reached out and gently touched the corner of Li Huaizhou's eye with his fingertips, which was still a little red. "It's okay." Li Huaizhou's eyes suddenly turned red. He clenched the hot milk in his hand and muttered softly: "I'm afraid... I'm afraid that you will dislike me, afraid that you will think I'm a coward..."
"Silly boy." Xie Mo smiled and reached out to ruffle his hair. "Why should I dislike you? You were in so much pain just now, but you didn't cry. You were very brave. This is not cowardice."
As he spoke, he unwrapped a lollipop and stuffed it into Li Huaizhou's mouth, slowly suppressing the smell of iodine in his nose. He lowered his eyes to look at Li Huaizhou with a hint of smile in his eyes: "Besides, it's great that you tried to resist." Li Huaizhou held the candy in his mouth and looked at Xie Mo's smiling face. The grievance in his heart slowly dissipated. He stretched out his uninjured right hand and gently touched Xie Mo's cheek - Xie Mo's cheek was a little cold. He rubbed it lightly with his fingertips and whispered: "Xie Mo, I was so afraid that you would agree to break up."
"No." Xie Mo held his hand and placed his fingertips in his palm to warm them. "Unless you look me in the eyes and clearly tell me that you don't love me anymore and want to end it, I will never agree." He paused and added, "I will organize the notes for you again, in more detail than before, and you are not allowed to say such things again."
Li Huaizhou winked at Xie Mo, "But I cried like that just now, isn't it embarrassing?" Xie Mo was amused by his deer-like appearance and pinched Li Huaizhou's cheeks, "No...very cute." Li Huaizhou blushed for a moment because of his intimate behavior, and felt like his head was smoking, and pushed his hand away.
"It's sick, there are so many people here."
Xie Mo patted the back of his hand gently, and said softly: "After you finish drinking the milk, I will take you to the hospital for an X-ray to see if your arm is okay."
"Yeah." Li Huaizhou responded, leaned his face into Xie Mo's arms, and closed his eyes. He finally didn't have to pretend to be strong anymore, and didn't have to worry about being rejected, because he knew that Xie Mo would hold him firmly.
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