Chapter 282 Wishing me happiness is the best compensation for me
When Lin Yan saw him like this, she suddenly felt an indescribable feeling in her heart.
It was disgust, vigilance, and a hint of confusion.
She always felt that Song Yanzheng was weird.
It's a little different from usual.
"Why a few months?" she asked. "What's the point of a few months?"
"Because I can't bear to leave you..." Song Yanzheng smiled and didn't tell her the truth: "I will turn myself in in a few months. But before that, I just want to stay with you..."
"Yan Yan, there's a Li Island in Lantai with beautiful scenery... I remember you told me in college... that you wanted to go somewhere by the sea and live there for a while..."
"Back then, I promised you... I'd take you there once I passed the bar exam and made some money... All these years have passed... It's time I kept my promise..."
"Don't mention the past." Lin Yan: "It's over, it's really over."
Song Yanzheng was still squatting on the ground, his legs had long been numb and lost all feeling. He was still looking at her, his face showing a calmness that had settled everything.
"Yan Yan, do you know? Actually, our life trajectories and growth experiences are very similar..."
Lin Yan: "So?"
Song Yanzheng remained silent for a long time, as if wandering in his memories, before he spoke softly: "Yan Yan... We have known each other for so long, and there are many things about me that I have never told you..."
Lin Yan didn't respond, she was not interested.
Song Yanzheng spoke to himself, as if he was chatting with her.
"Yan Yan, my family is actually very poor... so poor that even a car can't reach the remote rural area. My parents are not well educated and are farmers who rely on the weather for their livelihood..."
"My father was diagnosed with a malignant tumor when I was nine years old. Being ill for a poor person is like being sentenced to death. Because we couldn't afford treatment, we could only lie at home and wait to die... My mother had no other choice but to go to the county town to work alone to earn money for his medical expenses..."
"After that, I was responsible for all the farm work at home. Cutting grass for the pigs, breaking corn... After school, I had to clean my dad's body, feed him, and give him a massage..."
"Luckily, I have several plum trees at home. They bear fruit in the summer, and during my holidays I carry baskets to the market in town to sell them and earn some money to supplement the family income..."
"At that time, my mother always told me that only by studying hard could I change my destiny, get out of the mountains, and earn money to treat my father's illness..."
When he said this, his smile gradually faded and he paused for a long time, as if he was calming down the emotions that had arisen for no reason.
The cabin was very quiet, with only the slight rocking of the ship and the sound of their shallow breathing.
"But before he even earned any money, my father couldn't hold on any longer... Cancer cells tormented his body... He cried out in pain countless times in front of me... A strong man weighing over 180 pounds was gnawed away by the disease, leaving only skin and bones... I knew he was in pain, but I didn't expect he would be in so much pain that he would voluntarily give up his life..."
Lin Yan didn't respond or interrupt.
At this moment, she just listened quietly as if she was listening to a stranger telling her a story.
"After my father passed away, my mother's health deteriorated. The already bare, empty adobe house seemed devoid of life... My mother repeatedly told me that the only way to change my fate was to study hard. So I put all my energy into studying, and in the end, I really became the only person in the village to be admitted to a key high school in Qingyang."
There was finally a subtle hint of pride in his tone, and he deliberately said in a relaxed tone: "Yan Yan, look, I'm also a top student! Am I as good as you?"
Lin Yan looked at the smile on his lips, and for some reason, she felt depressed.
She remained silent, listening to him continue his story.
"Yan Yan, my high school life was actually quite monotonous. In order to get into a good university, I immersed myself in textbooks all day long. It wasn't until I met you that summer that my world gradually began to become more colorful... Do you remember? Our first meeting."
Lin Yan's heart felt like it was pricked lightly by a thorn.
How could she not remember?
That was the night she was reborn. It was Song Yanzheng who stopped her and saved her from death.
"Yan Yan, I remember it very clearly. It was mid-July that night, and it was very hot. You were wearing a long-sleeved shirt and light-colored jeans, with your hair loose, standing on the overpass..."
Song Yanzheng's eyes never left Lin Yan's face, as if he wanted to engrave every expression of hers into his heart.
His voice was filled with the warmth of memories: "I accidentally saw you standing by the railing, and you seemed to be crying... I stopped for a few seconds, ready to quickly return to the dormitory to do the test, but I saw you trying to climb over the fence..."
"I rushed over to stop you, but you staggered and froze in your tracks, your eyes red as a rabbit's. You didn't struggle, but simply slid down the railing, squatting on the ground and crying with despair..."
"You said... life isn't good at all... You said this world is too dark, without a ray of light... You said people without power and influence, living at the bottom of society, are just pawns that can be manipulated at will by those in higher positions..."
"Later I learned that you had been bullied for a long time during that period..."
"After that night, we got to know each other like that... I saw my own shadow in you, the shadow that was being pressed to the ground by life, but still struggling to breathe."
"Gradually, we became friends, and you let down your guard towards me. We got closer and closer, and our relationship became more and more subtle..."
"During my senior year of high school, I suggested that we apply to universities in northern Beijing together. You agreed without a second thought. You said that as long as we were with you, you would go anywhere as long as we could leave Qingyang."
"Yan Yan, you became more and more dependent on me, and smiled more and more in front of me... I could feel that you had already fallen in love with me back then..."
When Song Yanzheng said this, he stood up from the ground, his legs trembling as they went numb.
He didn't dare look at Lin Yan again. He walked to a stool nearby and sat down, his eyes slightly lowered. He thought for a long time before continuing in a low voice.
"Yan Yan, deep down, I have an inferiority complex... so inferior that I dare not face your love for me... so inferior that I can only avoid it and pretend to be confused. I can't give you anything, not even a stable job... so I can only emphasize that we are brother and sister, using this method to clarify our relationship..."
"Later, I graduated from the University of Political Science and Law as I wished, passed the bar exam, and joined the best law firm. I worked until the early hours every day, taking on every case I could. I worked hard to make money and build up my confidence, hoping that one day I would become stronger and confess my love to you..."
His voice suddenly trailed off. "But in the process... I was gradually corrupted by fame and fortune. I watched those around me live in villas and drive luxury cars, and saw how those who relied on their family backgrounds could easily obtain what I had fought so hard for. I began to feel unbalanced."
"So when Xing Yingxue approached me, I admit, I was attracted to her. But it wasn't her as a person that attracted me. It was the Xing family behind her. The power and resources that could save me ten or even twenty years of hard work."
"I know what it means for me to be with Xing Yingxue... I always felt that you had loved me for so long without asking for anything in return, and that you would be there waiting for me no matter what happened... I don't know why I was so sure that you wouldn't leave me back then. Now I think I was overconfident."
"I even had this ridiculous thought: as long as I become strong enough, as long as I have money and power, and I rely on Xing Yingxue to gain a firm foothold, I will break up with her completely and come back to find you. Then I can give you a good life..."
"But in the end, because of this decision, I completely lost you..."
He raised his eyes and looked at Lin Yan steadily, the regret and pain in his eyes almost overflowing.
"Yan Yan... I'm sorry... I regret it so much... If I had..."
"Song Yanzheng." Lin Yan finally spoke, her voice even and uneven. "My feelings for you were already shattered in your pursuit of power. Let's not talk about the past anymore. It's meaningless."
"Besides, there are no ifs in life, only results and consequences. If you really feel sorry for me, then stop pestering me. Wishing me happiness is the best compensation for me."
Song Yanzheng said nothing and didn't respond to her.
He stared at her for a moment, said "Have a good rest" and left the cabin...
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