Chapter 2 Zhou Sui
My name is Zhou Sui. The character Sui comes from the Book of Songs, which says "福履绥之" and means longevity.
His given name was Sui Sui, and he was born in the ninth year of the Jianyuan era of the Southern Zhou Dynasty.
She was given the title of "Princess's Beloved," holding a position equivalent to that of a prince, and enjoying the privilege of having a fief.
Before I was even born, my father granted me the lands of Liangjiang and the granary of Nanzhou as my fiefdom.
After I was born, my father assigned me 50,000 personal guards to protect me.
On the day I was born, my father granted a general amnesty, and the Southern Zhou Dynasty celebrated.
I am the only princess of Southern Zhou, a human-shaped ornament of my father, who steals from me wherever he goes.
That's right. I heard that when I was still an infant, my father would steal me away from my wet nurse every day.
Because of hunger, I often woke up crying on my father's dragon throne during court assemblies, and then my father would hurriedly send me away.
I heard that because my father's trip was too unruly, he was severely reprimanded by the censors.
However, even after being reprimanded, he didn't change.
When I was a little older, my father would hold me and sit me on his dragon throne so we could go to court together.
The ministers complained to the Empress Dowager about various matters of social order and morality.
His mother beat him with a feather duster before he behaved himself a little.
He greatly admired his second aunt's husband for this.
My second aunt's husband would take my cousin A-Yue wherever he wanted to go.
Sure enough, my cousin A-Yue sent me some dried purple flowers from the Alps.
I also envy my cousin A-Yue.
My cousin Yue is an only child. It's not because my aunt didn't want to have younger siblings, but because my aunt's husband didn't want any other children.
My second aunt's husband said, "There is only one moon in the sky, the moon of Ah Yue."
I envy my cousin A-Yue, not because she is an only child and receives the exclusive love of my second aunt and uncle.
She envied her parents for spending every day with her.
My father and mother were extremely irresponsible.
Hmph (｀Δ′)!
They gave birth to me and then left me with the wet nurse and the royal tutor.
Every day is either attending court or attending court!
The Empress Dowager was even more despicable than the Emperor.
My father would lift me up high every day to play with me.
My mother would only call me by my full name while holding a feather duster.
"Zhou Sui! Did you cut the Prince's hair?!"
It's just a haircut, why the spanking?
I hid behind my father: "A gentleman uses words, not fists. Mother, you're not a gentleman! It's not normal for your daughter to cut people's hair!"
"Master Wang is a learned scholar, proficient in all six arts. Your mother went to great lengths to invite him to be your tutor, to provide you with one-on-one instruction. And what did you do? You cut off his hair, which he had maintained for fifty years!"
There was a strong sense of disappointment and frustration, like someone gritting their teeth in dismay.
"How dare you speak ill of the Empress Dowager! Zhou Sui, even if you hide behind your father today, you won't escape this beating."
I was held in my father's arms, hiding in his embrace, giggling as he carried me away. My mother couldn't catch up with us.
Enraged, the Empress Dowager shouted, "Zhou Junren, you're finished!"
The palace maids chuckled to themselves.
*
The Emperor always managed to appease the Empress Dowager.
I peeked.
The Emperor would wash the Empress's feet, massage her legs, and hold her in his arms while listening to her nagging.
The Empress Dowager would get angry and then start laughing, and as she laughed, the Emperor would kiss her.
I heard that I was born after my mother kissed my father.
I don't know why, after I was born, they kissed each other, but I never had any younger siblings.
Is it because the one who took the initiative was the Emperor?
I really want them to give me a younger brother or sister.
Because I'm so bored.
My elder brother, the Crown Prince, is ten years older than me.
My cousin A-Yue is nine years older than me.
My cousin from my aunt's side is older than me.
The children of my two uncles' older brothers and sisters can all call me Imperial Aunt now!
Look, my little darling, as beautiful as a flower and as lovely as the moon, is being called so old by them.
I don't want to play with them.
I like my second aunt's husband and my cousin A-Yue.
I also want to catch toads to scare people.
It would be hilarious to scare those ministers at the court meeting.
Hahahaha.
We've gotten off-topic. I was saying I wanted a younger brother or sister, but somehow we ended up talking about my second aunt's husband and my cousin, A-Yue.
*
I told my father that I wanted a younger brother or sister.
The Emperor said that the Empress Dowager had palace affairs to attend to every day and that childbirth was very hard.
He said that he was already content with having a daughter like me, and had no regrets in this life.
We cannot let Mother suffer any longer.
It made me mature.
I need to play with my study companion.
Being a tutor isn't fun at all; they don't dare cut Master Wang's hair—they're too timid.
I went to my mother and begged her to give me a younger brother or sister to play with.
My mother told me to go to my second aunt and ask her to give me a child so that I could bring the child into the palace to keep me company.
I went to see my second aunt again.
My second aunt asked me to talk to my second aunt's husband.
So annoying!
I burned my father's hair, released the little fish from my mother's glass fish tank into the lake, and hid in my grandmother's arms.
I don't look like my mother, but more like my father.
My grandmother said my eyes were exactly like my father's, and I looked unhappy, which made me seem a little cold-hearted.
My grandmother favored me greatly, as if she gave me all the love she hadn't given to my father.
She protected me, and I was indeed carefree.
But three months later, my mother's feather duster still landed on my bottom.
I cried and begged my brother, the Crown Prince, for help.
The Crown Prince brought his aunt to the palace.
My aunt got pregnant after five years of marriage, and it was a rare case of twins. My mother was afraid of startling my aunt, so she let me off the hook.
My aunt rubbed my head and said that when her baby is born, she will send him to the palace to be my little follower.
My aunt is very beautiful, and my beautiful mother thinks that no man in the world is good enough for her.
Later, my aunt married a man from the Cui family in Xiyang.
This is not the Xiyang Cui Zhiyan you've seen before.
He was his older brother, a learned, upright, and ascetic man who almost became a Buddhist monk.
The love, hate, and grudges between them seem to be very complicated.
Some say that the uncle was pushed out by the family to save the day.
Some say that the aunt's husband had been plotting against her for a long time.
It's too complicated. I'm too young to understand these things.
I waited quietly for my aunt's baby to be born, and behaved myself for a year.
Later, I saw the paintings that my second aunt's husband had drawn for my cousin A-Yue. Some of them were riding on Bactrian camels, and some were standing amidst mountains and rivers.
I'm so envious.
I want to go out and play too!
The Emperor and Empress were very busy. They said that the foundation of Southern Zhou was weak, so they made one five-year plan after another to improve the lives of the people of Southern Zhou.
They seem to love the people more than I do.
"If you don't love me, why did you give birth to me!"
I cried as I made my accusations.
My father felt extremely guilty and comforted me all night.
I rarely stayed overnight in my father's and mother's bedroom because we had different schedules.
My mother held me in her arms and sang me a lullaby that I could only hear when I was very young.
Later, the emperor came up with a solution.
She summoned her second aunt's husband back and dumped the National Medical Bureau's operations on him, keeping him so busy he wouldn't have time to show off his daughter.
But who is my second aunt's husband?
He suffers from intermittent deafness, occasional blindness, and frequent bouts of dementia.
He pretended not to receive the letter, refused to come back, and even sent me double the amount of paintings.
Later, my mother had no choice but to pack me up and send me to my second aunt's husband.
*
I traveled all over the country with my second aunt's husband for half a year, and then went back to his parents' home with him.
I met a very kind and handsome uncle.
He patted my head and called me Sui Sui.
He showed me the gems he had stored for me, saying they would be used to make jewelry for me.
He was dressed in purple, and his fox-like eyes smiled warmly.
He would carry me, six years old, on his shoulders and take me through the evening market to buy me anything I liked.
He said that when my mother was six or seven years old, she loved to go to the evening market.
The sunset was brilliant. When he said goodbye to me, he squatted on the ground and cried like a child.
I asked him to come with me to Southern Zhou, but he said he was a nuisance and that he would stay in the capital to protect us.
I couldn't quite understand it.
But I feel very sad.
I think he is a very, very good person.
*
I also spent a few days visiting the royal palace in the north.
I met the traitor Xiao that my father had mentioned.
He doesn't look like a thief at all.
He is very handsome.
And she's very gentle.
He would squat down and talk to me like my father would.
He satisfied all my curiosity, and would hold me on his dragon throne, asking me which was more comfortable to sit on, his dragon throne or my father's dragon throne.
He would braid my hair and take me to release sky lanterns.
The way he looked at me was strange.
They were looking at me, but it wasn't just looking at me.
I felt a pang of sympathy for him.
I asked him, "Uncle Xiao, did you lose something very important?"
He said, "Yes, it's lost, and I'll never find it again."
"What is it? If you need help, Sui Sui can help Uncle Xiao find it."
He looked at me for a long time, then asked, "Are you... alright?"
"Sui Sui is doing very well. Father loves me very much. Although Mother sometimes hits me with a feather duster, it's only because I've done something bad..."
He really enjoys listening to me talk.
It makes me feel very accomplished.
"My mother always says I'm a chatterbox."
He smiled.
When I left, Uncle Xiao gave me a bracelet that he made himself.
The bracelet later disappeared.
I suspect that my father stole it.
Because that bracelet disappeared after he had seen it.
But I have no evidence to accuse him!
Later, my father also made a bracelet for me.
It's just that it's not as good-looking as the ones Uncle Xiao makes, so I've never worn it.
*
When I was seven years old, my grandmother fell seriously ill.
I've been afraid of old ladies since I was little; their disfigured faces were terrifying.
Even though she was very nice to me.
The old woman dismissed everyone and pulled the Empress Dowager aside to explain the cause of her illness.
I pretended to be asleep in my mother's arms and overheard a bit.
The old woman said her mother's surname was Shui. She was a relative of an official who committed a crime and was relegated to a lowly status, but she became the top courtesan in the brothel.
Later, she was kept by someone for a large sum of money for two years and gave birth to her.
By the time she had memories, her biological father had already disappeared into the sea of people.
She and her mother lived together in the brothel, relying on each other for survival.
When she was five years old, her mother passed away, and she naturally stayed in the brothel.
She was a product of a distorted living environment, a lowly person of her time.
Therefore, she never mentions her background.
She didn't mention what happened to her afterwards.
She only instructed her mother to secretly retrieve her mother's body, so that she could be buried with her mother after she died.
She said she didn't want her mother to be lonely.
That day, my mother's tears fell on my face, and they were very hot.
She may be feeling sorry for women in this era.
Therefore, throughout her life, she strived to create a better living environment for women of this era.
(over)
*
Author's Closing Remarks:
A sudden inspiration led to a book that uses words to depict the entanglements of emotions.
Grateful for the encounter.
There are many shortcomings, thank you for your understanding.
The insects are a pity.
His autobiography wasn't well written because I felt a sense of regret that it didn't express (I'll revise it if I have the chance).
When I was writing about him, my eyes welled up with tears because of his unrequited love.
He liked her, but he couldn't stop and let himself lose. Moreover, she hadn't tried to change his native values. Their social status was vastly different when they met, and his noble lineage had made him used to being superior. All these reasons, coupled with his restraint in his feelings, led her to believe that he valued profit above all else.
The last time he went to take her away, she stabbed him to pieces.
The side story, which concerns the male protagonist's psychological journey, is already quite detailed in the main text. Writing another one wouldn't be as good as the main story.
I feel the description of the insects wasn't as good as the main text.
Xiaobai is a guardian.
I cried my eyes out when I wrote about him.
Everyone has their own feelings, but I feel good about Xiaobai. The insects won't mistreat him; they're not cruel.
The male protagonist is like the sunlight breaking through the clouds, the fruit that comes with perseverance, the reward for hard work, love that transcends time and space, a savior, and a sweet act of bowing down for love...
See you in the next book!
Thank you for your kind words; I am truly flattered.
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