Chapter 5 My Relationship with Xiao Cong
The young nobleman, somewhere between maturity and naivety, had an uncontrollable lust in his eyes, which was gradually extinguished by the girl's tears.
He kissed away my tears, helped me up, and tied my disheveled belt.
He sat down beside me and tenderly wiped away my tears with a handkerchief.
His fingers, gripping the handkerchief, tightened slightly.
He looked at me with that incomprehensible yet cherished gaze.
His silence made me feel that if I cried at this moment, I would be letting down his sincere feelings.
He asked me, "Sweetie, do you not like today?"
His methods were so skillful that I didn't know how to respond.
I was utterly defeated and fled in disarray, clutching my skirt.
I stepped down from the platform and bumped into Lin Wanru, who seemed to want to kill me with her eyes.
She was like a sharp sword, suddenly severing the enchanting yet contradictory magnetic field that stretched down from the high platform and enveloped me.
I gasped for breath, like a drowning person suddenly coming into contact with air.
I lifted my skirt and fled, determined not to look back.
*
I went home, locked myself in my room, and helplessly grabbed my hair.
You can hide from the first day of the month, but you can't hide from the fifteenth.
What should I do?
I can barely see where I came from.
I had a sleepless night.
The next day, Xiao Cong came to pick me up in person.
I don't know how to face him.
I felt like a ripe fruit in front of him, sweet and fragrant.
I sat in the corner of the carriage furthest from him, avoiding his gaze.
He pushed a box toward me as an apology for his recklessness the night before.
I looked at the pair of matching mother-daughter necklaces in the box, took out the one worn by the adult, and slowly moved towards him.
I need to make amends for last night's refusal.
He reached out and put it on me, then casually hooked my fingers into his palm.
He began to slowly erode my defenses.
When he taught me to draw, his palm would gently touch my waist.
Slowly, his hand began to linger freely on my waist.
Inch by inch, little by little.
He started off with a tentative look, asking me for a kiss.
Later, naturally, he pinned me against the pillars, doorframes, and windowsills, and took the initiative to kiss me.
He was no longer the aloof, dignified, and well-mannered young nobleman.
When we were alone, he would always call me "darling" and look at me with an indescribable gaze, making no attempt to hide his desire to drag me down into the mortal world.
He asked me for that farewell kiss again.
Every time I kissed him and stepped back, he would chase after me and lower his head to press his lips to mine, expressing his affection.
He even started asking about my daily schedule.
He gradually tightened the opening through which I was escaping.
Countless times I've thought, maybe I should just let it go.
He gave me 20% of Xianbaozhai's shares, took meticulous care of me, and even made jewelry for me by hand. He seemed to have some sincerity towards me. He was also good-looking and so gentle and considerate. He was quite good.
Isn't this how people live these days?
But I have personally witnessed concubines being passed around among those in power like objects.
What impressed me most was that the Prince of Yan casually bestowed his disfavored concubine from the Western Regions upon a military general who had curried favor with him.
Xiao Cong's apparent sincerity was something I had to exchange for my dignity, freedom, and human rights.
Without dignity, freedom, and human rights, how can I have a future?
There is no future.
Furthermore, how long will that apparent sincerity of his last? A few months? A few years?
So how can one willingly say "let it go"?
*
With the arrival of spring and the weather warming up, his marriage to Lin Wanru was set for the summer.
I secretly let my hair get wet in the rain, and secretly got sick.
I wanted to quietly avoid his advances.
But when I was sick, he stayed by my side even more frequently.
He would examine my pulse, watch me drink my medicine, and feed me sweet and sour pickled plums to mask the bitterness.
They might even disregard my illness and come close to my lips to taste the plum flavor on my skin.
He was very perceptive: "Aqu, you're not happy."
"Your Highness's wedding is imminent, how can Aqu be happy?"
This was an awkward topic.
He spoke after a long silence: "The Lin family assured me that they would not harm you in the slightest in the future."
"If Your Highness believes her, then any future disputes will surely be caused by A-Qu?"
"A-Qu~"
I turned my face to the side: "Your Highness prefers her."
He remained silent for a long time before handing me a document.
As I looked at the three words "taking a concubine" on the sign, tears welled up in my eyes and streamed down my face.
I lay down, my back to him, and tears streamed down my face.
"With the addition of the word 'noble,' she won't be able to touch you at will in the future."
"I will leave you plenty of manpower to protect you."
I closed my eyes, tears streaming down my nose: "It's good that Your Highness has made arrangements."
The irreconcilable conflict between us is that he will not marry me.
He needs to consolidate his power through marriage.
I need human rights, freedom, and respect.
Our pursuits are different, and we go in opposite directions, which is destined to lead to a poor outcome.
Unfortunately, I had no chance to escape.
Fate seems to be making things even harder for me.
I once thought that my final destination might be Xiao Cong.
When people from Pancheng arrived, Lin Wanru, relying on her family's influence, slapped me to the ground.
"A lowly woman who uses her beauty to serve men, His Highness may grant you the position of concubine today, but he may depose you from that position tomorrow!"
I covered my face, sat on the ground, and looked up with a mocking smile: "If the Emperor can depose the Empress, why can't Your Highness divorce his wife?"
"Let's give it a shot; the outcome is uncertain!"
I provoked Lin Wanru in an extremely provocative way.
"If you're so capable, Miss Lin, then kill me."
"Oh, even if I die, there will be another me."
"If Miss Lin does not win His Highness's heart today, she will never win it in the future."
"On the contrary, we are shameless and rely on our beauty to seduce people."
I mocked Lin Wanru: "Your Highness married a wife and then took a concubine right afterward."
"It's not certain whether the eldest son or the legitimate son will be born first."
*
A calm person would know that my words have no offensive power. Etiquette and law cannot be broken. Xiao Cong is a beneficiary of etiquette and law, so it is impossible for him to do something to break etiquette and law.
However, Lin Wanru was not calm.
She called me a slut and said I had ulterior motives.
The matter was blown out of proportion by Madam Lin, and Xiao Cong made a promise to Madam Lin that he would not take a concubine before the birth of his legitimate son.
I breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing this, thinking I was safe.
Unexpectedly, the day before the wedding, Xiao Cong carried me to his bed.
His long eyelashes were half-closed, his cheeks flushed with desire, and he whispered a kiss on my earlobe.
"Sweetie, this is the first time I've wanted to be with you."
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