Chapter 9 Chapter 9: Mismatch In a way, knowing...
It turned out that the paint on Xu Wen's hands was quite difficult to remove. Hoss first went to the kitchen to get some olive oil and applied it to the painted area. He rubbed it gently for a while to allow the oil to fully soak into the paint, and then washed it with soapy water.
Although it helps a bit, it can't completely remove the paint, and some of the paint still can't be washed off.
At that moment, Xu Wen saw that Hoss's face turned very bad, and the murderous intent in his eyes almost overflowed, mixed with obvious heartache.
"Brother?" Xiu Wen asked tentatively.
"Um,"
Hoss took Huven's wrist and touched the red paint on his hand that had not yet been completely washed off with his fingertips.
Xiu Wen was born with a fair complexion and no matter how much sun he was exposed to, he could never get tanned. The red on the back of his hand was as obvious as blood.
After a long silence, Huo Si finally spoke.
"sorry."
In fact, when it comes down to it, all this is because of Hoss.
It might be a bit far-fetched to say this, but Hoss really felt that he had failed to protect Xu Wen.
"Brother! You haven't done anything wrong to me, and this isn't my fault either."
Xiu Wen said quickly.
Hoss shook his head and sat in a wheelchair, a head shorter than Hugh Wen. His sharp brows revealed his guilt under the bright light. His apology just now was not an excuse, but he really felt guilty in his heart.
It was his fault that he did not handle Xu Bufan's matter properly. If he had handled it three years ago, or a little later, at least before Xiu Wen ran into Xu Bufan, then nothing that happened afterwards would have happened. So in the final analysis, it was still his fault.
But now it's useless. Things have already happened. All we can do is to save and make amends so that things don't get worse.
Hoss never felt that he was favored by the god of fate. He was an orphan, and later received financial support from the federal government, which allowed him to go to school and avoid freezing to death on a snowy day. So after saving the homeless Hugh Wen that day, Hoss's compassion was touched, and he took Hugh Wen home.
Home is a very private space and also represents absolute privacy. The choice he made at that time actually opened up some of Xu Wen's closed inner authority.
So why did you do that in the first place?
Complete sympathy and compassion? Actually, not completely. It is definitely selfish.
Because of my selfish motives, I feel even more ashamed.
Xu Wen lowered his head and looked into Huos's eyes and frowning brows in silence. Xu Wen stretched out his other hand and used his index finger to smooth Huos's frown, which was like a hill in a wheat field.
He knew without a second thought that Hoss must have gotten stuck in a dead end again.
"Brother, don't think too much. Don't think that everything is your fault."
"Because this was the choice I made, even if I knew at the time that doing so would lead to a series of events later, I would still do it."
"Brother, do you know what expression you had at that time?" Xiu Wen asked softly.
Hoss was stunned: "What?"
Seeing Huos's reaction, Xu Wen smiled.
"The look on my brother's face at that time made me feel a pain in my heart."
"So, I don't want my brother to be sad, and I don't want him to be hurt in any way."
This statement is completely ambiguous. Any male insect saying this to a female insect is equivalent to confessing his true feelings. No matter who sees it or what the situation is, it is a sign of flirting.
Besides, Hoss had never heard such words in his life.
Of course, he never imagined that he would hear such words one day.
"Stop talking nonsense."
Hoss was a little at a loss for a moment, the tips of his ears suddenly turned red, and he didn't know how to react, so he could only forcefully change the subject.
"I'll get some potion water to wash you."
Then he almost fled in his wheelchair, but he had no idea that even his ears were red, steamed red like boiled shrimps.
Seeing this, Xiu Wen blinked, laughed darkly, and tried hard to suppress his voice, not daring to let Huos hear it.
——
Later, Hoss brought some potion water and the paint on Xu Wen's hands was completely washed off.
The bathroom door opened and closed.
Xu Wen planned to take a shower, and Huos had already put his clothes aside.
Soon, the sound of dripping water came from the bathroom. As the bathroom door opened gently, a fresh stream of water vapor gushed out along with Xu Wen's footsteps.
He was wearing Hoss's clothes, which at least covered everything he needed to, although the clothes were a little short, making him look a little tight.
Xu Wen was wearing Hoss's spare slippers, which fit him well. He was covered in moisture, and his short, slightly curly black-brown hair was covered in mist, with a few playful clumps of hair hanging down.
As a result, Xu Wen had broad shoulders and long legs, so even Hoss's spare clothes looked a little small on him. The buttons on his chest were a little tight, showing a very healthy chest muscle shape, and his trouser legs were much shorter, exposing his ankles and half of his strong calves.
It feels like I'm forced to wear clothes that are too small for me.
Huos was reading a book outside. When he heard the sound, he looked up with some surprise in his eyes, and then a smile flashed in his eyes.
He realized that his clothes didn't fit Xu Wen well, so he quickly suggested:
"It seems a bit different. I happen to have a bathrobe at home. Would you like to change into it? It will be more comfortable."
As he spoke, he pushed his wheelchair to the closet, took out a soft bathrobe and handed it to Xiu Wen.
"Yeah, well, I'll go in and change now."
After Xu Wen took the bathrobe, he turned back to the bathroom and changed into it.
The door closed and opened again.
The bathrobe itself was a size too large for Hoss, but it fit him perfectly.
Xiu Wen scratched his head a little embarrassedly.
"Um, brother, although I can wear a bathrobe as pajamas today, I don't think I will have anything to wear tomorrow."
Huos sat in a wheelchair, looking at Xu Wen in front of him, his eyes full of smiles, and he said softly:
"I've placed an order for you. I bought new clothes according to your size. It will be delivered to the express locker at your door in about an hour.
That way you won't have to wear my clothes tomorrow."
"Thank you, brother!" Xiu Wen felt even more embarrassed. "Well, I'll transfer the money for buying clothes to you, brother."
"It doesn't matter."
Hoss shook his head.
"We haven't seen each other for three years. Consider this as a meeting gift from me to you."
It is true that Xu Wen does not have to pay it back, or in other words, if Xu Wen really agrees to the adoption agreement, then everything in Hoss will belong to Xu Wen, and there is no question of not having to pay it back.
Hoss's rigidity has become very serious. He feels increasingly cold and even has convulsions accompanied by pain. His right leg, which was injured by a stray bullet, trembles with pain in the middle of the night. His health is deteriorating and it is unknown how long he can live.
Maybe it will be soon, or maybe it will take a few years, the doctor can't say for sure.
However, in a way, knowing that you won’t live long is actually a good thing.
Many things that he thought he could not let go of before can now be let go. The figure in his heart that he wanted to see but did not dare to see, the thing that Huos had been avoiding for three years, suddenly, Huos had the courage to meet and contact it.
Although, even now, it seems that they are even more mismatched than they were three years ago.
Even though Hoss has been successfully promoted to the commander of the First Legion, even Hoss himself doesn't know how many years he can live. A dying, old, silent and boring female soldier seems particularly unsuitable for a vigorous, enthusiastic and cheerful male insect like Xu Wen.
Therefore, the most suitable ending for this secret and invisible thought is to wait until the moment of death.
"elder brother,"
Xu Wen squatted down seriously and looked at Huo Si at eye level.
"How can you give clothes as a meeting gift? Shouldn't you give something more meaningful or do something more meaningful?"
Hoss looked at Hugh Wen patiently and tolerantly:
"If you want anything, you can tell me."
"I want to spend more time with my brother and do more things together that we haven't done before. He passed away three years ago. In these three years, I have remembered many things that I want to do with him."
Xu Wen smiled at Hoss, his eyes shining.
"Three years... three years is actually a very long time."
Hoss simply lowered his head to look at his legs, his fingers unconsciously curled up, a cowardice that grew out of the dark crevice:
"You might feel disappointed if you stay with me."
"Whenever I'm with my brother, just looking at him, I feel very interesting and happy."
Xu Wen said this very seriously, and put his hands on the armrests of Hoss's wheelchair, holding them tightly. The wheelchair seemed to be locked in place and could not move.
"Maybe you'll find it boring later. It's just because we haven't seen each other for so long."
Hoss said self-deprecatingly.
"Later... maybe you'll regret saying this."
“How could it be!”
Xu Wen couldn't bear to hear such extremely sad words, and in excitement, he suddenly grabbed Huos's hands on his thighs.
Those hands were neither fair nor beautiful, but had been dyed darker by time and wind and frost. They were as simple and heavy as the earth, and covered with intricate scars. Xu Wen couldn't even imagine that behind each scar was a bleeding moment, and how painful it must have been for Hoss at that moment.
With Hoss's personality of never crying out in pain, it seemed as if he swallowed all the suffering easily.
"elder brother……"
There was a deep pain in Xiu Wen's eyes.
His eyes were fixed on those unattractive hands.
His hand gripped Hoss tightly.
Until the moment Xu Wen suddenly grabbed his hand, Hoss didn't even react - the severe rigidity reaction made his nerve pain and touch extremely dull.
But when it really touched Xu Wen's palm.
That moment.
All the senses seemed to come alive.
The frozen heart began to beat again at this moment.
Hoss's senses, long silenced by his paralysis, suddenly felt a surge of unprecedented vitality, like a long-drought land finally revived by a downpour. Hugh Wen's palm was warm and powerful, more than just a simple touch; it felt like a warm current, penetrating the numbness and stiffness of his body and reaching deep into his heart, like the tremor of thunder.
It is not only a tactile revival, but also a vibration from the outside to the inside.
Hoss could feel the warmth coming from Xu Wen's palm very clearly, so warm that he instantly forgot the pain and restraint brought by rigidity.
From the very beginning, Xu Wen was the little sun in Hoss's eyes.
It made him feel unprecedented warmth and light in this absolutely cold world.
The body's instinctive reaction was the most real, and all the manifestations of rigidity were relieved for a moment at this moment - Hoss didn't dare and didn't want to guess how well they matched.
What if it’s too high? What if it’s too low?
What good would it be if he knew? It would be better not to know. After knowing, Hoss was afraid that he would only become more greedy.
"…It's getting late, go back to your room and rest."
After a long silence, Hoss finally pulled Xiuwen's hand away.
What to do? What else can I do? With a male insect so much smaller than me, do I really want to develop anything?
"elder brother…"
Xu Wen wanted to say something, but he saw Hoss turn around and control the wheelchair back to his own room.
The room seemed to have transformed into a giant beast that had been sleeping for a long time. Its outline was vague and huge, and the dark entrance was like a bloody mouth. Hoss entered the room without hesitation.
Xu Wen stood at the door, staring at the slowly closing door. He knew clearly that Hoss had once again chosen to imprison himself in the cage woven of loneliness, fear and self-doubt.
The door slammed shut.
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