Chapter 72: The Pact of Submission
Don't you find yourself annoying?
Xie Huailing was genuinely asking this question, and she was also genuinely curious about how Gong Jiu's thought process worked. Just as others couldn't understand her, she was finding it difficult to understand Gong Jiu as well. But then again, if she could understand Gong Jiu, her life would be pretty much over anyway.
She sat upright before her dressing table, slowly and deliberately removing the dart from her wrist. With a soft thud, the blood-splattered dart fell onto the table, which she then picked up and wiped away, completely ignoring the horrific scene behind her. Intermittent breaths and gasps of pain and endurance flowed through the extremely quiet night.
It seemed that every trace of red had been wiped away. Gong Jiu didn't reply to her during the gap. Perhaps it was because the medicine she chose was too harsh, or perhaps he was pleasantly surprised.
Sometimes it's like that; if you're going to slap someone, you have to worry about your own hand.
Xie Huailing spoke again, looking indifferently at the mirror, and said, "If you shout again, I'll throw you out."
The sound then faded, leaving only the smell of blood in the air. Blood trickled down from the wound, like droplets of water rolling from a crack, carrying the owner's pain and the agonizing cry of life. Fortunately, the wound wasn't large, and the bloodstains only spread to Gong Jiu's robes, a patch already as red as spilled ink. Only a few drops flowed onto the ground, beside the plain white porcelain bottle, which he stared at intently.
Only he himself knew what he was thinking as he gazed at those few drops of blood.
Gong Jiu took two deep breaths, and found her own voice in the choked air, her breath barely a whisper: "...You said there would be no story between us, but I have to try to find out."
Xie Huailing didn't take it seriously, put down the hidden arrow, and gently wiped her face with a handkerchief. The handkerchief was also wet with water sprinkled with fragrant dew. She wiped her cheeks, not wanting the smell of blood to taint her: "Just say you can't understand human language. You should know that I'm not afraid to kill you, right?"
"I know." Gong Jiu answered quickly. The effects of the drug were still lingering deep within his flesh and blood, having already damaged his entire body. After he finished speaking, he gasped and continued, "...Of course I know, but it's also because of this."
"Because of this, I like you even more."
It's hard to judge, after all, Xie Huailing isn't really from this circle.
She rarely felt like talking, but Gong Jiu was a naturally gifted individual. She couldn't help but think of the useless person on the dragon throne, and then traced the river of history back to the founding emperor, back to that moment when he donned the yellow robe. Was there some kind of explanation in their genes, or was the "vibrant" offspring a price that had to be paid?
She didn't really want to figure it out, and she didn't want to go back to the beginning. She said, "Just tell me what you like about me, and I'll change anything."
Gong Jiu spoke softly and precisely: "I like you but you don't like me. I like that you don't even care about me."
To reiterate, it's difficult to evaluate, since Xie Huailing isn't from this circle.
"I'll take that as a compliment," she said, then leisurely wiped her nose.
Then, as if he had just remembered, he casually and nonchalantly reminded Gong Jiu, "The medicine on the hidden weapon is something special. If you want to live, don't waste your energy. Until I give you the antidote, you're no different from a cripple. Just listen to me and leave to save your life."
Gong Jiu did not answer her again. He curled up and trembled. The so-called golden age and jade, the picturesque scenery, were nothing but empty talk at this moment.
Once he had recovered, Gong Jiu spoke: "Why? Was there anything ungenerous about the terms I offered you?"
He was like a child facing a problem he couldn't understand, muttering to himself, still patiently negotiating with Xie Huailing: "Everything I have can be yours, and you can ask me for what I don't have. What's wrong with that? I can do everything you want and get it for you—"
"I don't need it."
Xie Huailing tucked her hair behind her ear. Lost in her own actions, she didn't care what Gong Jiu had said again, and coldly interrupted him: "I don't need it."
Her voice was calm and undisturbed, as if she couldn't hear him at all, nor did she intend to: "I can use anyone, I can rely on anyone, I can travel with anyone, but only I can do what I want, and only I know what I want. You speculate about me from your perspective, and in the end, you're just speculating about a figment of your imagination."
The cold jade seemed to return to his mouth, and Gong Jiu inexplicably recalled the first time he met her. She was calm and composed, and he thought he could surpass her, but in the end, she was self-assured and few could compare with her. If one truly regarded her as weak and fragile, one would only end up being broken by her.
"You think you're better than me, but are you really that good? How do you know you're not just a frog in a well? Do you know what I'm going to do? Do you know how many people in this world think they're better than me? Do you know that in the end they wouldn't even dare to think about what I'm going to do? What's the difference between you and them?"
“I am not anyone you have ever met, and I never will be anyone you have ever met. You see me as a bird sees a cloud, but after a thousand sails have passed, who knows if you will look at me as a woodcutter looks at Luo Ze? Do you understand this principle?”
As she finished speaking, Gong Jiu lowered her eyes, as if waking from a deep dream.
However, after hearing her words, his palms trembled, and he clenched them into fists with all his might. She was wiping behind her ears; just a few steps away, it was a completely different world. He strained to look into the distance, then touched his still-bleeding wound, his own blood seeping between his fingers, still warm, digging into his palm along with his nails. His heart pounded like a dying drum.
Gong Jiu said, "Every time we meet, I like you more than the last time."
Then, he suddenly changed the subject: "Then let's make a deal. How about a deal between Golden Wind and Fine Rain Pavilion and Prince Taiping's Mansion? You shouldn't refuse me anymore."
His senses returned, resonating with his desires. Gong Jiu swallowed all the pain, though he still lacked strength, his breathing gradually became steady.
“If one day I ever look up to you as much as I look up to Luo Ze, let me see you first. In exchange, I can certainly offer what you want and do what you ask,” he said. “Making such a deal would be a win-win situation for both of us.”
Xie Huailing was somewhat surprised and turned her head to glance at him.
She removed the last hairpin from her head, letting her long, black hair fall loose. Xie Huailing picked up a wooden comb from the side and began to comb her long hair inch by inch. In a casual glance, she was surprised by something else.
“You really think too highly of yourself,” she said.
Gong Jiu didn't care much and let her say what she wanted. Perhaps subconsciously, he felt that, after all, he came from such a high background, and his talent and appearance were not inferior in any way. Most people would be grateful to have even one of the things he possessed in their entire lives, but he had everything and lived a life of unbridled madness.
Xie Huailing asked again, seemingly finally showing some interest and discovering something new: "When did the heir of the prestigious Taiping Prince's Mansion become like this?"
He replied, "I don't remember very well, and it's not important. Everyone has their own way of living, and I'll just do what I want to do. What about you? What do you think of the deal I proposed?"
Gong Jiu desperately wanted an answer. He stared intently at Xie Huailing, his hand on the wall as he tried to stand up. However, waves of dizziness created an endless void. In the center of this void, he failed to rise and knelt back down. His torn wounds bled again and again. In the sharp pain, he was dizzy and disoriented. The center of his vision was a constantly expanding halo of light, the color of the lamps hazy and indistinct, and her outline was no longer clear.
What was she doing? She was probably still combing her hair. She ignored him, as if she had abandoned him there. All he could see was a pale, shadowy figure, and a pain arose somewhere in his body. She was truly willing to use such drastic measures on him, but how could that not be considered caring?
An extremely long wait, a wait that she herself had given him. He used to lock himself in a box and stay there alone, in the pitch-black box where he couldn't see his own hand in front of his face. He would lock himself in for three or four days at a time. He searched back and forth in the silence and the passage of time, searching again and again, just as he constantly searched for pain and pleasure.
But it wasn't like that, it was completely different, a world apart from then. There was no longer the feeling of being confined in the box, the feeling of dying at the bottom of the sea, the suffocating feeling of being bound, nor was it the endless endurance like a snail. It was as if something had sprouted inside his body, something crawling in his flesh, enticing him to struggle in a completely unseen world, and his soul was slowly emptying away in the waiting.
The more he wanted to fill the void, the more unbearable it became, and the more unbearable it became, the more excited he became.
With his blood-stained palm open, Gong Jiu sighed softly, reflecting on his long wait.
When the effects of the medicine wore off a little and he could focus his vision with difficulty, Xie Huailing put down the comb.
She looked at herself in the mirror, then turned around, no longer just tilting her head, but facing him directly. She still didn't say whether she agreed to the deal or not; she gave him action, and then her movements seemed to slow down in front of him—what did she do? A very simple action, so what did she do—she raised her hand and then gently patted it.
She was calling him.
He realized almost instantly that she was calling him.
And then what? Then he passed away. He really had no strength left. Maybe next time she would save some strength for him, but this time he really had no strength left. He couldn't stand up, but he still passed away.
A trail of blood snaked across the ground as Gong Jiu's face pressed against Xie Huailing's hand.
He couldn't see clearly, so many things were told to him by his senses: she disgustedly wiped the sweat from his face, she pressed his lips open, "Open your mouth, the antidote," she said. Gong Jiu couldn't remember how much blood he had lost, or how much pain he still felt. The pain and confusion were all brewed by her, and at the heart of both was her feigned gentleness.
The combination wasn't the intense, or agonizing kind he usually desired. But it wasn't bad either; he liked this new thing.
Gong Jiu asked her, "...Am I the first person you've ever treated like this?"
Xie Huailing's eyes couldn't reflect him; it didn't matter, she was as beautiful as she was. She forced the antidote into Gong Jiu's mouth: "I don't treat you like a human being."
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I've always felt that Kudo Kankuro's, well, minor flaws, stem from an underlying egoism and arrogance. Just like in the original work, he loves himself the most, and it's also similar to that classic line, that the latter generally dominates the relationship between Ace and Em.
However, if his bad habits get out of control, he can easily get himself into trouble. If he encounters someone who won't guide him at all, he'll likely end up like this, becoming so immersed in his art that he can't extricate himself.
As for what this art is, and how the others in the article got there, I'll leave that as for you to know...
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