Chapter 37: A Compassionate Heart
Chu Liuxiang led Xie Huailing through several increasingly narrow and secluded alleys, finally stopping in front of an inconspicuous gray courtyard gate. The door was mottled, bearing the marks of time and dampness. He raised his hand and knocked lightly three times, two short knocks and one long one. The door opened silently a crack, revealing Su Rongrong's gentle face. Upon seeing Chu Liuxiang, the tension in her brows eased slightly. When her gaze fell upon Xie Huailing behind him, and Shaman behind Xie Huailing, a fleeting look of surprise crossed her gentle expression, quickly transforming into a composed calm.
"Miss Xie?" Su Rongrong stepped aside and said softly, afraid of disturbing the tranquility of the courtyard, "What brings you here today? Please come in."
The courtyard was tidier than when I last visited, exuding a deliberately maintained simplicity and solitude. A few autumn chrysanthemums were blooming listlessly in the corner of the wall. Su Rongrong must have tried her best to revive this bleak scene, but unfortunately, as long as the smell of medicine lingered in the air, the flowers felt out of place.
Chu Liuxiang briefly explained his purpose, saying that Xie Huailing had already told him on the way, "Rongrong, Miss Xie would like to see Xiaoyan."
Upon hearing this, Su Rongrong looked at Xie Huailing's veiled face. Her heart tightened slightly, not because she doubted Xie Huailing's intentions—the reputation of Jin Feng Xi Yu Lou and Chu Liuxiang's trust were enough to dispel such doubts. She was just worried about Xiao Yan.
Seeing her worry, Chu Liuxiang gently reassured her, "Miss Xie just wants to say a few words to Xiao Yan, it's alright."
"What are you saying?" Su Rongrong sighed softly, a knowing smile curving her lips, but the worry in her eyes remained. "Of course I trust Miss Xie, and I am even more grateful for the help from Jin Feng Xi Yu Lou."
Her voice was softer and more cautious, genuinely showing her unease: "Miss Xie, Xiao Yan has become increasingly quiet these past few days. Apart from news about those who harmed her, she hardly asks anything anymore, nor does she chat with me. I'm afraid Miss Xie won't be able to get anything out of her."
"It's alright." Xie Huailing interrupted her unfinished worries. "I've come prepared to talk to her. Please lead the way, Miss Su."
She clearly had never possessed any special skills, and was as frail as a willow tree, only able to walk gracefully with the help of a breeze. Yet, Su Rongrong felt that every word she uttered was correct.
Having received her assurance, Su Rongrong took a deep breath, suppressed her anxiety, and finally nodded: "Okay. Miss Xie, please follow me."
She walked to the door, gently pushed it open a crack, and gestured to Xie Huailing to "please," but she didn't go in herself. She just whispered, "Xiao Yan, an older sister wants to come and see you and talk to you."
There was complete silence inside the door; there was no response.
Xie Huailing did not hesitate and stepped inside.
.
The room was darker and quieter than the outside. A small oil lamp flickered on a low table in the corner, making the rest of the room, which was perpetually dark, seem even more gloomy and secluded. The heavy smell of medicine reached its peak here, fermenting into the stench of a dead heart—nauseating, sticky, and suffocating. A thin figure was curled up on the bed against the wall, covered with a thin blanket. She faced the wall, leaving only a lifeless back view in the doorway, her long hair scattered messily on the pillow.
Xie Huailing stared at the retreating figure without making a sound immediately. She slowly walked to an old wooden stool not far from the bed, simply standing there as if she were an extra piece of still life in the room. After looking at it for a while, she went to the bedside, squatted down, and positioned her gaze at the level of the person on the bed.
Xiao Yan seemed to sense the stranger's approach, her body tensed up in a moment of collapse, and she subconsciously buried her face even closer to the wall, leaving the back of her neck, covered with a long centipede-like scar, facing Xie Huailing.
Xie Huailing didn't try to touch her, nor did she rush to speak. She ignored the silent resistance, knowing she needed to give Xiaoyan time to process it. She looked at the hideous scars, and at the shattered soul within that body. Lying on the bed was a girl who should have been very happy; her skin was so fair, her figure so well-proportioned, and she possessed an indomitable will. She should have had a smooth life. Why had she become this inhuman, ghostly figure? Xie Huailing and she herself both knew the answer.
After a long while, Xiao Yan turned around and faced Xie Huailing. She had looked even worse than before; her face was shockingly thin, her cheekbones high and prominent, and two dark brown scars permanently lurked on them, replacing her eyes, making her look like a demon from hell. She "stared" at her.
It was a terrifying sight; if Xie Huailing had let out a single scream, the poor girl's soul would have been shattered. Fortunately, Xie Huailing spoke as if she were seeing an ordinary face, using her rarely used, soothing tone, saying, "My name is Xie Huailing, from the Golden Wind and Drizzle Pavilion. I've seen you before, but you were sleeping when I came to see you. Chu Liuxiang and Su Rongrong may have mentioned me to you; in any case, they want to help you find the person who harmed you, and I'm helping them investigate as well."
When the words "the person who harmed you" were mentioned, Xiao Yan's curled-up body felt as if it had been pricked by an invisible needle, followed by a violent tremor. She experienced her own earthquake; even her thin fists clenched tightly, her grayish-white fingernails digging into her flesh.
Xie Huailing caught all her reactions. She took a small step forward, closer to Xiao Yan, and took one hand in Xiao Yan's, gently removing Xiao Yan's fingers that were about to pinch herself, letting her pinch them until they bled. Having prepared herself for this tenderness, she continued, "I know you can hear me, and I know you don't want to talk. It's okay, I just wanted to tell you that after so much effort, we're almost there for those people."
Xiao Yan's face, covered in terrifying scars, stared directly in Xie Huailing's direction. Although she had no eyes, the deep-seated hatred beneath her stitched-up eyelids was palpable, conveying itself even without her eyes open. Her lips were tightly pressed together, and her withered fingers gripped Xie Huailing's hand tightly. Due to her loss of control, the strength she unleashed was almost overwhelming, and Xie Huailing bore the brunt of it all.
Xie Huailing calmly met the terrifying face. Her expression remained unchanged, and she didn't flinch even when Xiao Yan pinched her palms. The dim light flickered in her unfathomable eyes: "We are looking for him, and we will find him soon. It will only take a while, just a few more things."
She leaned down, close to the thin shoulders that trembled slightly with agitation and hatred, and embraced her. Xie Huailing was cold and could offer nothing, but all Xiao Yan needed was a hug. She treated Xiao Yan like any other ordinary girl, as if nothing had happened, and embraced her. Xiao Yan held her tightly in return. She had no tears; all the tears in her life had left her. She was someone who couldn't even cry.
But she would still scream, she would still sob. The oil lamp in the room crackled and burned, and the girl in Xie Huailing's arms breathed heavily and suppressedly, her voice churning with a raging sea of hatred.
"I need your help." Xie Huailing's voice carried a heavy weight, but she wasn't inciting Xiao Yan. She didn't utter a single word about "making them pay for their crimes in blood," because Xiao Yan was different from the others.
She spoke very frankly and didn't hide anything, saying, "This requires you to be willing to go all out. It may be very painful, it may be very difficult, and it will expose you to everyone's gaze, stripping away your most vulnerable and painful side for others to see. This is a method that I feel very sorry for you."
For the first time, Xie Huailing's tone revealed a sliver of fairness: "Of course, you can refuse me. You are the most innocent victim, and they are the ones who deserve to die. Even if you want revenge, once we take on this matter, you have no obligation to do anything more for it. The choice is yours."
"The right to choose...?" Xiao Yan spoke.
Her voice was hoarse. She hadn't expected that someone would give her a choice after she had become like this. She raised her hand and reached for her "eyes," intending to gouge out her eyeballs, but she no longer had any, and could only sadly dig out bloody marks.
“What choice do I have? I’ll do anything, even die. I don’t care, I’m not important, I’m not important at all!” She gasped for breath, becoming like a dying fish, her own blood dripping from her fingers. The disaster had truly turned her into a ghost. “As long as I can get revenge, as long as I can send them all to hell, I’d rather die right now. Anyway, I couldn’t go on living long ago! If I can’t get revenge, what’s the point of living? It’s better to die! Cleaner!!”
The roar exhausted her remaining strength, and Xiao Yan's body slumped down, lying on the bed coughing. Her thin shoulders trembled, as if she was about to go out. Her body had lost everything.
Xie Huailing watched her collapse, and only after her breathing had calmed down a little did he reach out and gently place his hand on Xiao Yan's blood-covered face, wiping the blood onto his sleeve.
Her palms were cold. This person had no humanity, like a walking corpse. Her actions showed little mercy, but as long as there wasn't too much scheming in her actions, it was rare to find someone like her.
Then, she leaned close to Xiaoyan's ear, so close she could feel the other's rapid breaths. Her lips pressed against Xiaoyan's earlobe, her voice so low it was like a chilling wind that could reach the underworld, audible only to the two of them.
She spoke a few words quickly.
Xiao Yan's body, weakened by pain, stiffened abruptly upon hearing the whisper. Then, she actually smiled—a smile tinged with innocence.
Without hesitation, Xiao Yan nodded her head heavily: "Good, good!"
“You can think about it again; this is not a small matter,” Xie Huailing said.
"No, I have to do it." Xiao Yan refused. She desperately needed to do something like this, because her hatred was about to burst out of her body, and she was about to be overwhelmed.
.
Once outside, Xie Huailing finally asked Su Rongrong for the medicine. The blood on her sleeve couldn't be hidden, so she figured she might as well show it herself. Bloodstains from Xiao Yan's withered fingers snaked across her palm, several deeper wounds still slowly oozing blood. The large patches of red on her sleeve resembled a few abruptly blooming, withered plum blossoms.
Shaman took her hand, her brows furrowed tightly, her fingertips carefully avoiding the edge of the wound, and said, "Is this what you call nothing? How can chatting result in your hands being covered in blood? Does it hurt? How did you get yourself into this state by a patient? Let's go see a doctor."
Xie Huailing let Shaman pull her along, and she even had the leisure to glance at the bloodstains on her sleeve, and bantered with Shaman: "What could have happened? It's a good thing. She's quite strong, which means she's not completely broken. It's better than lying there all limp."
"What's so good about it? It'll make your hands bruised?" Shaman said bluntly when she heard that Xie Huailing didn't care. Xie Huailing had no authority as a superior. "Your neck isn't fully healed, and your hands have been bruised again. You don't care at all. You should go and explain to the landlord yourself what's going on."
Xie Huailing told her, "That's alright, my cousin probably doesn't want to see me these next few days."
Before Shaman could even roll her eyes, Su Rongrong hurried over with a medicine box. Seeing Xie Huailing's wound, she gasped softly, her eyes filled with apology and reluctance. She gently cleaned Xie Huailing's wound, applied a cooling ointment, and carefully bandaged it with a clean cloth. However, after a few apologies to Xie Huailing, she was sent off to apply medicine to Xiao Yan, whose wound was far more alarming than hers.
Once everything was settled, they should leave. Chu Liuxiang's gaze lingered, and he spoke gently, "Miss Xie, may I speak with you in private? The fragrance of osmanthus outside the courtyard is pleasant; it's a good way to relax."
Xie Huailing pondered for a moment, then nodded. Ignoring Sha Man's disapproving look, she followed Chu Liuxiang out of the courtyard filled with the smell of medicine and an atmosphere of despair.
The alley outside the courtyard was deep and secluded. As dusk settled, a few osmanthus trees peeked out from over the wall, their delicate golden blossoms quietly releasing their sweet fragrance in the fading light, trying to wash away the dust in the alley. The two walked side by side, their footsteps scattering a carpet of fallen fragrance, the sound of their footsteps particularly clear in the silence.
What did Miss Xie and Xiao Yan talk about just now?
Chu Liuxiang's voice broke the silence. He spoke gently, turning his head to look at Xie Huailing. The moonlight had not yet risen, and her veiled profile was only a blurry and cold outline in the dim light.
Xie Huailing didn't look at him, her gaze fixed on the winding path ahead, seemingly unconcerned that he might perceive her as cold and heartless: "We discussed some things, but it's just part of the plan. We need to let her know that the shadow of our enemy is about to be exposed, to give her a reason to..." She paused, carefully choosing her words, and then changed to a more fitting one, "a reason to keep her going and cooperate with the subsequent actions. Secondly, I also need to use her, so I need to ask for her consent."
Chu Liuxiang chuckled softly, “Every step is meticulously planned, each step intricately linked. Miss Xie, it is truly a blessing for Jin Feng Xi Yu Lou that Master Su has received your assistance.” There was no flattery in his words, only pure appreciation for this intellect.
Xie Huailing's lips twitched upwards. This assessment sounded quite absurd at first, but she immediately and shamelessly agreed: "I know everything. My cousin just doesn't say it. In fact, he is still very proud of me. It's only a matter of time."
Chu Liuxiang's smile deepened, as the setting sun sparingly cast a few rays of light onto his smiling eyes and brows: "That makes sense. Master Su simply hasn't fully understood someone like Miss Xie yet. Once she truly sees her clearly, she will surely find that everything I've said today is absolutely true."
Xie Huailing didn't stop walking. She immediately grasped the key point from his words, and her voice was devoid of emotion: "You know me very well?"
His tone remained unchanged, or rather, Chu Liuxiang's tone remained completely unchanged.
Chu Liuxiang remained calm under pressure. He was well aware that her question was fraught with danger, and he shook his head frankly, adding a touch of sincere self-awareness: "No. I'm afraid there is no one in this world who can truly understand Miss Xie. I have only seen some traces of compassion in Miss Xie, and that is why I dare to make this conjecture."
"Compassion?" Xie Huailing repeated the word, her tone almost as subtle as when Shaman said she had a conscience. "Master Thief, tell me about it?"
Chu Liuxiang didn't explain immediately, but quietly accompanied her for a while longer. The alley became increasingly secluded, but the fragrance of osmanthus grew stronger, sweetly lingering around their noses.
"In this world," his voice rang out again, deep and soothing, speaking eloquently, "there are all sorts of complex people; there is shadow under the light, and even saints have selfish thoughts. As long as one judges by actions, not intentions, and acts with a clear conscience without being inclined towards evil, that's fine. Similarly, some calculations and schemes also depend on what people do. In that case, Miss Xie is a compassionate person, so what's wrong with what she said?"
Xie Huailing stopped and faced Chu Liuxiang directly. The alley was almost dark, and her figure was shrouded in deep shadows, but the shadows did not dare to hold her back. The eyes that were visible above her veil, even in the dim light, possessed a power that allowed her to see through everything.
“Chu Liuxiang,” she said, “you really think you’re starting to understand me now.”
It wasn't a question, but a statement; she easily punctured his slight smugness and probing that stemmed from vaguely discerning something.
Chu Liuxiang, instead of being annoyed by her pointing out his mistake, let out a clear and pleasant chuckle. The laughter echoed in the narrow alley, startling a crow perched on the wall, which flapped its wings and flew into the deeper night.
He admitted it, his laughter subsiding but not quite gone: "Looks like there's no need for modesty anymore. Miss Xie saw right through me. You're a bit smug about your half-baked knowledge, aren't you? But what I said else is true too."
He gazed at her, and the moonlight illuminated them both. They were under the same sky, the clear light spreading across the moonlit water, and it was another magical night.
"Miss Xie, this sea is something that no one can see through or fathom, at least not right now."
He admitted his limited understanding and subtle sense of pride, and also clearly recognized the complex emotions Xie Huailing was experiencing, like an iceberg on the surface of the sea. This honesty was more sincere than any explanation.
Because on this topic, no one in the world truly understands it better than Chu Liuxiang.
He had seen all sorts of girls, some beautiful, some not, some passionate, some aloof. Each girl was both the same and different. What they had in common was that they had their own thoughts, and what made them different was also that they had their own thoughts. All the girls were unique and fascinating because of these thoughts, and he often wanted to find out more about them.
Some of them are like insurmountable mountains; upon meeting them, he can immediately recite a poem about the difficulty of the Shu Road, yet also marvel at their boundless beauty. Others are as gentle as water, their shy and timid eyes like those of a fawn in the forest, requiring him to gently coax them. Still others are fiery and passionate, like a blazing fire, their light visible from afar… So, since there are such girls in this world, it is natural to accept a girl who is a bit unconventional, a girl who is difficult to understand. She may never be understood, but what is so strange about that?
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Ms. Xie: (Unmoved) (Exclaims, "A prodigal son truly lives up to his name!")
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