Chapter 17 The first person to trust you... is you

Chapter 17 The first person to trust you... is you

I am dead.

But I don't know.

I walked across the Naihe Bridge and drank the Yellow Spring Water, but those complicated memories were still turning around in my mind, so I chose to return to the human world.

...It's fake. In fact, I don't even know whether Jing Yuan has a supernatural script or a rebirth script in his hand! There are so many possibilities that Yanqing alone could come up with more than a dozen versions.

So I didn’t intend to guess any further and just said truthfully: “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

And committing suicide again and again sounds painful, and it's totally not something I can do.

Jing Yuan seemed to know that I would deny it, and he continued speaking almost without stopping: "Then how do you plan to explain your apology to Bai Lu, your disgust for Master Long, and your extraordinary recovery ability?"

apology? I almost couldn't find any memory of this, and finally I remembered that I did say sorry - for Bai Lu's medical consultation.

The disgust towards Dragon Master is a personal emotion of the player, but the recovery ability...it turns out that this level of recovery speed is also abnormal among the Celestial subspecies?

I pressed my chest in confusion. The wound there had already healed completely, without even a scar left.

Bai Lu said: "If it weren't for the abundant power in your body that neutralized the struggle between hunting and destruction, you would have long ago..."

Why is it neutralization by abundance? I thought maybe the power of abundance was gentler, but maybe... the abundance in the body was more abundant.

Abundant... I was shocked by my own thoughts, and even my breathing was disordered for a moment.

But, I can't feel it, I still can't feel anything...

A few seconds later, Jing Yuan suddenly asked: "What did Master Long do to Bai Lu? Is your body... the product of Master Long's experiment?"

I looked at him blankly, then shook my head, "Nothing, you don't have to care."

Even if there is something abnormal with my body, it can only be the sequelae of time travel. Or maybe you could say... welfare?

Otherwise, I would have been sleeping forever in Changletian with such injuries.

"But you are repeatedly experiencing death with this body." Jing Yuan seemed to have made up his mind to put an end to everything today. He pointed out the key points in detail and perfection: "You regard every existence after death as a new life, clearing away your accumulated emotions like clearing weeds. This is one of the reasons why you can still suppress it until now."

"Suppress what?" I asked subconsciously, and then I realized in an instant, "No, I haven't reached the level of a demonic body, so I don't need to suppress it."

However, Jing Yuan has already confirmed this point, "Many times, you will unconditionally follow their advice. Because whether it is "Yan Qing", "Dan Heng" or "Ren", they are the guarantee to prevent you from sliding into the abyss. ”

"And if things get to the point where they can't be helped, they will be your defense against killing you. That's why you dared to promise me that it would never come to that."

Jingyuan could never forget the relaxed tone of "Jingyuan" at that time. He said, "What else? You're welcome to kill me?"

This was originally said as a joke, but the rising tone at the end was full of joy.

He longed for death from the bottom of his heart.

Jing Yuan even specially simulated his words and actions to analyze his psychology.

Why does a man who carries billions of lives deliberately appear so relaxed? Because he has experienced failure thousands of times, that taut string... had long since broken.

So, that's not ease, that's fear. He was extremely scared, so scared that he dared not show his concern, so scared that he did not want to reveal his past to anyone, and even so scared that he refused to take on the title of Shen Ce.

"You refused to accept your status as a general and were unable to even respond to some simple matters." This time, Jing Yuan paused for too long, as if he was going to let me "confess and be lenient." But in the end, Jing Yuan, who didn't get a reply, still asked the question: "Did you fail to prevent the destruction of Luofu, or did you actually destroy Luofu?"

What? ! I looked at Jingyuan in shock, but was also somewhat glad that my emotions were so obvious.

You see, I just found out about this, so it’s impossible!

However, the fact that Jing Yuan could say this already indicated that he had a guess. "When you were in the Scaled Abyss, you clearly expressed your fear. I thought you were afraid of me, but now I think you are not only afraid of me. You are afraid of every Jing Yuan who might cause the destruction of Luofu."

The sad gaze fell squarely on me, and I subconsciously took a step back, trying to avoid it.

——This concern is too heavy, it should not belong to me, and I am destined to not be able to give an answer.

If you treat me with sincerity, I will return it with sincerity. I should respond, at least I should tell him: "Don't be sad, after all, I have never experienced that. I didn't work as hard as you did, and I didn't even protect the immortal boat like you did. I am just a..."

A strong shock surged up at this moment. It was just three simple words "ordinary person", but I couldn't say it out loud.

The blood was surging in my body, but I felt a chill and severe pain all over my body. I even shed some physiological tears and my vision was blurred.

I heard Jing Yuan ask me, "Are you a sea patrol ranger now, or a Luofu general?"

No, no, I don't have a second personality. I answered in my heart, I am just me, I am...

The restricted name was like a taboo. Those two words kept circling in my mind but could never come to my lips.

"Ha." I couldn't help but laugh at myself, and said word by word against my will that didn't belong to me: "I am just me, different from you. You will always be Luofu's general, the sun of Luofu."

If he says I'm afraid, then isn't he afraid too? Responsible for the lives of all living beings on Luofu, he must control and eliminate all hidden dangers.

As bright as the moon and stars, as bright as the sun.

"You have your own opinion, so there is no point in rejecting your guess. But I believe that you will never become like that." I smiled at him reassuringly, "You will always be Jing Yuan."

Jingyuan's hand trembled slightly, and I think I might have guessed right. He was also afraid that he would become the "Jing Yuan" he guessed, abandoning everything, destroying everything, and eventually becoming the real murderer who destroyed Luofu.

"You and I both know it." Jing Yuan's voice was dry, and he looked at me intently, "Qing Tu has an emergency plan in his hand. It is designed to counterattack as soon as possible after something unexpected happens to me."

Counterattack? I suddenly realized what he meant.

"But for you, this plan obviously didn't have the desired effect." Jing Yuan continued, with undisguised sadness in his tone, "Or was it that this plan was never implemented in time?"

If it is the latter, it can only mean that during the same period when "Jingyuan" lost control, Qingdun was... gone.

Therefore, "Jingyuan" failed to hand over the plan to others, and was not countered in time.

Jing Yuan closed his eyes and suppressed the emotions in his eyes, and his tone was a little sharp, "But no matter which one it is, you let yourself be different. It is impossible for you not to notice the changes in yourself, so this leads to the next question: Why didn't you commit suicide?"

I was shocked, not because of Jingyuan's speculations, but because of the measures Jingyuan took for himself.

The tone of his words clearly indicated that if an irreversible accident occurred before he fell into the devil's body, he would take care of himself first!

These concerns, which do not exist in the game, have always lingered in Jing Yuan's mind in reality, and he even made special plans for them.

"...I'm sorry." I don't even know why I'm saying sorry, but the endless heaviness pressing on my heart makes me say only these words.

Jing Yuan ignored the apology, because he wanted to know more: "Did you allow yourself to survive, or did you fail to commit suicide?"

I know that Jing Yuan asked this because he still suspected that this body had been tampered with by Master Long, but I also remembered what "Yan Qing" said that I would not die.

If so, the abnormal recovery speed is an effect of not dying. So, what will happen if the injury is so severe that it far exceeds the ability to recover?

I subconsciously picked up the dagger on the ground. It belonged to the assassin. Perhaps the place where it fell was too close to us, or perhaps the place where it was thrown out by Jing Yuan's formation knife was in the blind spot of Yunqi's vision. In short, it was not disposed of along with the assassin's body.

The tip of the silver-white dagger was stained with an ominous dark color. Although no one knew what it was, it was definitely a deadly poison.

If it pierces the heart and the poison circulates throughout the body through the blood, can I still achieve the so-called immortality?

I thought about it uncertainly, and then I realized that my hands were empty.

Jing Yuan snatched the dagger from my hand and handed it to the side, "Yanqing, do me a favor." ”

The silent "Yan Qing" pursed his lips. He knew that this was a way to get rid of him, but he still reached out his hand and said, "Send it to Dan Ding Division for testing?"

After getting a positive answer, he looked at me hesitantly, and finally said to Jing Yuan solemnly: "General, please keep an eye on him for me."

...I'm not some kid who will disappear in the blink of an eye!

However, not only Yan Qing, but even Jing Yuan responded solemnly, "Don't worry, as long as he is in Luofu, I will keep him safe no matter what."

I don't know why, but I had the feeling that these words were directed specifically at me. It wasn't something I was told, but a firm promise to show that no matter what I did, Jingyuan would never give up on me.

In this way, if I really want to do something dangerous, I always have to consider the price Jingyuan will have to pay.

This is an open conspiracy, he is betting on my concern. I don't like this kind of constraint, but it's all for my own good.

This inevitably made me feel a little irritated, but I had to suppress this feeling and tried to calmly say, "I am just an outsider. There should be no connection between us. Be vigilant or test me, even if you send me to the prison, but you don't have to pay too much for me."

"Everything we have so far was provided by you. We are all very grateful and feel guilty for not being able to help you more. But you don't have to go any deeper. There is absolutely no benefit in investing so much in me!"

Although I don't think I would do anything dangerous, I find it hard to accept the thought that Jingyuan might have to bear the consequences of my actions.

If something really happened to Jingyuan, what should Luofu do? You can't let me, a person who can't do anything, take over, right?

The consequences of this are terrifying just to think about. I couldn't help but say with emphasis: "Luo Fu needs you. You must live well."

"Luofu needs you, you must live well." He said this very seriously, but it seemed more like he was talking to himself.

——Just like what he said, "I want to survive" and "I will definitely survive."

This is his entire motivation for survival.

But... "Benefits?" Jing Yuan couldn't understand the thought process behind this. "Why do you think so? Do you think I care about you so much for some purpose?"

“No, of course not.” I don’t doubt Jing Yuan’s motives, and I can feel his enthusiasm, but the key point is, “It’s not worth it.”

"Not worth it?" If this was said by anyone else, Jing Yuan would be able to find an argument to respond immediately, but it was him who said this. "Then, can I understand that you think everything you do is worthless?"

What? I was stunned for a moment, then I realized something was wrong. These are two completely different things! I'm talking about investment and return, you're talking about the value of life!

But Jing Yuan didn't give me time to refute, and continued to ask, "Do you think the lives you saved are worthless? Do you think Luofu's continued existence is worthless? Then why do you come back again and again?"

"This is a stealth!" Although I do feel that I am of little use, but... "I'm saying that it's not worth investing in me, not myself and my actions!"

...No, I didn't die repeatedly to save Luofu as Jingyuan said!

I took a deep breath and told myself not to follow Jingyuan's line of thought any further: "Jingyuan, you don't have to care about this at all."

I know I've said something similar, but Kyung-won's persistence makes me have to repeat it again. But when I met those bright eyes, all the following words were choked in my throat in an instant.

"I know that you will continue to do this even if no one agrees, even if no one cares." He looked at me gently, as if he was comforting a soul that was about to collapse. "It makes no difference. It is you who brought the warning of danger, and it is you who are moving forward on the road to salvation. Those who carry firewood for everyone should not be allowed to freeze to death in the wind and snow. "Jingyuan", you deserve it. ”

...But that's not me! The unspeakable truth catalyzed strong guilt and irritability. I turned around and punched the wall hard.

The numbing pain was conveyed, but it didn't bring me any clarity.

"What if your guesses are all wrong?" I clearly heard myself say this, "You think I failed to protect Bai Lu from Master Long and ruined myself. Then why can't it be that I used Bai Lu and Master Long to achieve my own goals?"

"You know that I destroyed Luofu, but you are sure that the purpose of my continuous death is to save people?" I stared at Jing Yuan and smiled mockingly, "What if I am just destroying every layer of time and every node?"

But Jing Yuan remained unmoved, "You said 'if' and 'what if'. Since this is a hypothesis, how can there be any guilt?"

Before I was about to speak, Jingyuan raised his hand to interrupt me: "Jingyuan, I'm not forcing you, but you should know what you are doing. ”

I may be a little irrational. I judged my actions in my mind, but I still didn't think there was anything wrong with it.

"I know what I'm doing, and I know what I'll face if I say this." I feel particularly calm inside, and I can even give advice from Jing Yuan's perspective: "You should also know that trust is not something that can be given casually."

I don’t know if this can be considered intimidation. Maybe I should make some more threatening moves towards Jingyuan and then tell him: See, this is the consequence of trusting me.

But considering that Jing Yuan could subdue me with one hand, I gave up the idea. Anyway, he certainly won't throw me into prison for this, so there's no need to bother.

Thinking of this, I was suddenly overwhelmed by an inexplicable feeling of fatigue.

What's the point? I felt like a drowning person who had lost all his strength. I just stared silently at the calm sea and allowed myself to fall deeper.

What broke the calm sea was the hint of surprise revealed by Jing Yuan. This was the first time in this conversation that he showed a reaction that was out of control. You know, even if I said something like the mastermind, Jing Yuan wasn't surprised at all.

I thought this time would be different, but the first words he said were: "Are you really unaware of the temptations you've been facing?"

He was silent for two seconds, and then continued as if confirming this guess: "This shouldn't be the case. What are you avoiding?"

I should have thought more deeply about the words "always being tested", but the fact is that Jingyuan's last words kept echoing in my mind: "What are you running away from?"

I should have told him that I was indeed unaware of his temptations and had no idea why he mentioned escape.

But all those abnormal scenes in the conversation flashed through my mind and connected together, telling me clearly and unequivocally: Yes, Jing Yuan made more than one or two attempts.

That's why he identifies himself with his own identity; that's why he makes everything clear.

Because he already got the answer.

"You see, it's not that you don't know." Jing Yuan said at the right time, "You just evasively ignore those details, just like the past that you try to cover up but are trapped in."

"Jing Yuan, the first person who trusted me... was you. ”

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