My name is Qin Huairu.
Lying in bed reminiscing about my life, even now, it feels like a dream.
I grew up in Qin Family Village, and I didn't have many worries when I was a child.
When she was old enough to work in the fields, she helped tidy up the house. As she got older, she went out with her brother to collect things to bring home.
The hustle and bustle outside doesn't really have much to do with our little village.
He lived a mediocre life and was carefree.
I am just an ordinary country girl.
When I reached a certain age, I never expected that my parents would give me such a big surprise.
They found me a husband from the city.
The old capital city (Sijiucheng) wasn't actually far from Qinjiacun. Later, Qinjiacun was incorporated into Sijiucheng, and could even be considered the city center. But back then, I only had one feeling about Sijiucheng: awe. Everyone knew Sijiucheng was the capital. What was in the capital? I didn't know. I only knew that the villagers said city people had it good.
City dwellers are cultured; they eat well and dress well.
Even the village schoolteacher said the same thing. He told me that only by going to the inner city could I truly live a human life.
Looking back, although what the gentleman said was a bit extreme, it wasn't entirely wrong.
Life in the countryside back then was truly tough; it was common to wake up hungry at night.
It's hard to get enough to eat, let alone eat meat.
I remember that night, I was so hungry I couldn't stand it anymore. I got up and sneaked outside to dig for something to eat. I don't know what came over me, I didn't care what I was doing, I just stuffed whatever I could find into my mouth, whether it was wild grass or dirt. I was crying as I ate. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I was so hungry.
Fortunately, after eating, I went to sleep. My stomach ached for several days, but nothing too serious happened. Looking back now, I was really lucky. What I learned later told me that if I had eaten those things and couldn't expel them, I probably would have died from bloating. I didn't make a fuss when I was a child because I knew that everyone experienced this.
Until my mother said she would marry me off to someone in the city.
I am overjoyed.
I have only one thought: city dwellers can at least eat their fill, right?
In fact, after marrying into the city, I was indeed able to eat my fill. It was just that my mother-in-law looked down on me and found fault with me, but I didn't dare to tell my husband and could only silently endure it every day.
Oh, perhaps, in my current view, it was endurance. Actually, I was probably grateful back then, because once I got to the city, I could actually get some food and wouldn't starve to death. It's just that I can't tolerate that now, and as for my thoughts back then, I'm too old to remember.
The days passed by amidst all this noise and commotion.
As usual, I ran outside to do laundry amidst my mother-in-law's angry scolding. The time I spend doing laundry is the happiest time of my day.
But on this day, a piece of bad news ended my happy mood.
My husband is dead.
The mother-in-law angrily berated the messenger, accusing him of lying to her.
But I know that someone would come to our house for no reason at all to lie and say that Jia Dongxu is dead? Why?
At that moment, my world collapsed, and I didn't know what to do.
It wasn't until an old man rushed back that I realized Jia Dongxu was gone.
what do I do?
I have no idea.
I don't even know what to do in the days to come.
Just as I expected, from that day on, my mother-in-law became even fiercer towards me. She even went so far as to say that I was a seductive vixen who had brought death to her son. I had no choice but to secretly wipe away my tears. After giving birth to Xiao Huaihua, I took over Jia Dongxu's job and went to work in the factory.
My mother-in-law told me that those were the Jia family's workstations, and that I needed to understand that the reason I was able to work was because the Jia family had given me those positions, and that they could take them back anytime.
I knew, but for some reason I felt relieved because I thought that as long as I worked hard, I would eventually get a raise.
But... I'm so tired...
After coming home from work every day, I still have to do laundry, cook, and take care of the children.
My mother-in-law does nothing, and I'm so tired. I don't even have the energy to go to the factory anymore.
I don't know how much longer this kind of life will continue.
Until... he appeared.
He was like a ray of light that shone into my world.
When I first met Wang Shouren, he had just arrived at the courtyard house. He was just a country boy, with all the characteristics of children from our village. Seeing him, I felt as if I were seeing myself back then—anxious, uneasy, and constantly anxious. I couldn't help but feel a little close to him, and I would try my best to help him with anything. Little did I know that my help would also bring him trouble.
I don't understand. I'm already married, so why are the young men in the neighborhood still competing with me? What's the point? Do they think I'd cheat on them?
Actually, I said that too early.
I really cheated on you.
No, to be precise, I am no longer a chaste wife for my husband.
He helped me when I was most lost, not in the kind of way where he just gave me some money and tried to take advantage of me. He genuinely wanted to help me out of my predicament. He told me how to solve my family problems, how to study, and how to earn money. Suddenly, a ray of light shone through my despair for the future.
Let me stop living for others.
If I could, I really want to rely on myself and live a good life.
He gave me this opportunity.
And he said he likes me...
I don't know if this is true or not, but I love him...
I was fascinated by everything about him, and from that day on, I truly fell in love with him.
I want to be his wife, but I know it's impossible. I can't marry him.
At the factory, I overheard the older women discussing how being unmarried by a certain age could negatively impact their future. I don't know what got into me, but I introduced Qin Jingru to him. I originally thought that once he married Qin Jingru, things between us would end, and we'd go our separate ways.
But to my utter surprise, he disagreed...
He disagreed with my leaving, and even on the very first day of his date with Qin Jingru, he revealed our affair to the world.
Good heavens! How dare he!
If this gets out, and Qin Jingru tells everyone, then... then both he and I will be ruined!
But for some reason, after learning about this, besides a little fear, I also felt a sweet feeling in my heart.
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