Sincerity or pretense
Chu Yiqi looked at Xi Ai, who seemed to be in a bad state as well, but remained motionless in place.
Xi Ai originally intended to tell Fu Jingchu so that Chu Yiqi could finish speaking first, but Chu Yiqi remained silent for a moment before saying, "Let's go."
Chu Yiqi looked as if he had taken a sip of wine, his whole being as if he had been marinated in plum wine.
Xuan Yanyue and Fu Jingchu cut the cake together.
Since everyone present was close to her, Xuan Yanyue took advantage of the chaos to smear a smear of rouge-colored cream on Fu Jingchu's face and then gave her a kiss.
This scene was particularly blatant, so Nie Chuiying held Shi Yunshan's hand and asked her with a smile, "In your circle, when you ask someone to perform a superstitious ritual, are there any heterosexuals?"
"Who knows? It's all Xi Ai's fault." Shi Yunshan shrugged and said, "She set a precedent."
"Yeah?"
"Um."
Nie Chuiying smiled and asked her, "But they say you liked me back in college."
"Don't listen to Xi Ai's nonsense."
“It wasn’t Xi Ai who said it.”
"Shh." Shi Yunshan didn't like sweets, so she fed Nie Chuiying a piece of cake and then looked at Chu Yiqi and Xi Ai on the other side.
Chu Yiqi had a smile on his face. If Xi Ai hadn't known him so well, she might not have noticed that he was daydreaming.
Xi Ai withdrew her gaze, exchanged a glance with Fu Jingchu from afar, signaled to each other, and then answered the phone and went out.
Chu Yiqi watched as that graceful figure disappeared around the corner.
She also felt confused. She was the one who said she wanted to break up, but she was also the one who suddenly came back. She was the one who said she was just friends, but she was also the one who hoped that Xi Ai would treat her specially. She was the one who said she wanted to avoid suspicion, but she was also the one who didn't reject the good intentions or even gave ambiguous responses.
From Xi Ai's perspective, isn't it like being aloof and distant, giving people hope but refusing to respond, hooking them up but not allowing them to cut their losses in time?
Xi Ai held her phone in one hand and a cake specially prepared by Fu Jingchu in the other. It had no mango and was only half-sweet.
It was Xu Zhaoshi calling, asking about Gu Yu and saying he hoped she wouldn't approve Gu Yu's application.
Xi Ai said a few words, and through the dim light, the person in the banquet hall was wearing a long dress, with her long hair half-loose, a few strands falling by her temples, and her eyes were too beautiful, like the beautiful woman in the poem who smiled and turned her starry eyes, but there was also an indescribable loneliness.
He shifted his attention and replied, "I'll come over and meet Jennifer tomorrow morning."
Finally standing together again, Chu Yiqi couldn't say what she had wanted to say earlier. When Xi Ai asked her, she simply said, "It's nothing."
Xi Ai actually had a premonition, but she was no longer like before, able to fill in all the things Chu Yiqi didn't say. She simply asked her, "Are you going back to Grandma's tonight?"
"Yes, we agreed to have wontons tomorrow morning." Chu Yiqi paused before saying, "Grandma told me to remind you that you can't leave until you've finished eating."
"That won't do, I'll leave at five."
Chu Yiqi pursed her lips: "Explain it yourself."
"Um."
The next time we met was the day after we recorded a song.
After recording, Su Luo asked Xi Ai, "Let's get together tonight, remember to come."
Chu Yiqi looked at her and heard Xi Ai say, "Okay, I'll come right after the meeting."
...
Xi Ai held the glass; the iced wine emitted a faint aroma, and the ice cubes clinked crisply against the glass, making the sound all the more distinct since no one was around anymore.
She lowered her eyes, making it impossible to discern her emotions. Chu Yiqi looked at her, and after a moment, raised her hand and grabbed Xi Ai's wrist, saying, "Don't drink anymore."
Xi Ai actually has a good alcohol tolerance, so she was quite sober. She had a slight smile on her lips and showed no intention of putting down her glass.
Chu Yiqi didn't speak, but simply reached out and took the cup from Xi Ai's fingertips.
Xi Ai leaned back, adopting a more casual and relaxed posture. Her gaze lingered on Chu Yiqi's wrist, which was covered by his shirt, before she looked up at him again after a while.
Xi Ai chuckled and said, "Chu Yiqi, don't you think you're contradicting yourself?"
Chu Yiqi remained silent, listening to Xi Ai finish speaking.
"You're the one who's so determined to break up with me, leaving so decisively. But you always give me this illusion that we're actually... and you're the one who makes me feel like things aren't so bad. But you always have to emphasize from time to time that we've broken up, and that you're the one who's not right for me."
Xi Ai took a breath, took a sip of the wine she had picked up again at some point, and said, "What exactly do you want me to do, and where do I want to stand?"
Perhaps it was the alcohol; people always do things that they rationally know are wrong. Just like Xi Ai's uncontrollable excitement.
Just like when Xi Ai finished speaking, she slammed her wine glass heavily on the table.
Xi Ai paused for a moment, then suddenly noticed that Chu Yiqi had been cut by shards of glass when he tried to pull her up.
Even though her palm was bleeding, Xi Ai didn't notice. She just sighed, took out a band-aid from her bag, and handed it to Chu Yiqi.
Chu Yiqi said, "I'm sorry."
In that instant, Xi Ai almost simultaneously said, "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."
The room was warm and inviting, yet there seemed to be an indescribable distance between the two of them.
Chu Yiqi wanted to help Xi Ai with this—because she wasn't actually noticing her own fingers; she only saw the bloodstains on Xi Ai's palm.
But Chu Yiqi had just opened his mouth when Xi Ai interrupted him by getting up. Xi Ai said, "I'm going to wash my hands."
"Are you... in pain?" Chu Yiqi had no choice but to change her words.
Xi Ai stopped and chuckled silently, but her tone remained cold and indifferent as she spoke: "It's nothing."
Xi Ai walked back into the room and saw Chu Yiqi coming out, holding her coat in his hand.
Xi Ai took it and said, "Thank you."
After saying that, Xi Ai turned to leave, but Chu Yiqi grabbed her. When Xi Ai's gaze fell on her hand, she hesitated for a moment and then quickly let go.
As if possessed, she asked Xi Ai, "So what were you trying to ask during the truth or dare game?"
Xi Ai looked at her and vaguely felt that Chu Yiqi wanted to say the answer she most wanted to hear.
"Forget it."
Xi Ai stood at the door, looking at Chu Yiqi in the warm light.
For some reason, Chu Yiqi felt a little flustered, as if her heart was being squeezed. She wasn't sure if it was Xi Ai's tone or her eyes.
She couldn't even find a suitable description for her eyes; they were somewhat forlorn, yet seemingly calm, with a gentleness she couldn't understand.
"The truth I want to know, the things I want to see, have never changed. There are only two things. I've asked you, and I've received the answers, more than once."
For a moment, Chu Yiqi seemed about to say something, so Xi Ai waited a moment, and seeing that Chu Yiqi was speechless, she breathed a sigh of relief and said, "So you see, why bother? Is there any point in asking about something that makes both parties unhappy?"
Chu Yiqi reached out, but suddenly hesitated to pull Xi Ai. She heard Xi Ai say, "Let's go back."
Xi Ai said "go back", but did not leave with them.
She said, "I have to go on a business trip the next day, so I won't be going back there. Be careful on the road."
"You've been drinking. Do you have a driver?"
Yes, bye-bye.
Nie Chuiying was the most sensitive to the change in atmosphere between them, and almost immediately she quietly asked Chu Yiqi, "What's wrong with her and you two?"
Chu Yiqi lowered his head and seemed to react after a while, saying, "It's nothing, it was just like before."
It's like my identity has changed.
The one she intended to avoid became Xi Ai.
Chu Yiqi actually wanted to tell Xi Ai what she truly wanted, regardless of whether Xi Ai was truly indifferent.
—She still wanted to say something.
I want to tell that person face-to-face what she wants to hear, a heartfelt answer.
The next morning, Chu Yiqi had no plans, so he quickly ate breakfast and went out.
The four people were left looking at each other in bewilderment. Finally, Nie Chuiying slowly spoke up: "I bet a hundred that Qiqi is going to pursue Xi Ai this time."
"One hundred."
“I’m not betting anymore. It’s a fact that it’s obvious,” Shi Yunshan said. “I’ll bet a hundred. Xi Ai is definitely deliberately trying to hook us up.”
Yu Nianxi remained silent for a long time before finally speaking: "What's the difference between you two? I think that's an obvious fact."
Nie Chuiying said, "That's not necessarily true. Our Xi Ai just has a bit of a temper. So what if she's tired? I'll still contribute a hundred."
The remaining four people stared at her and all chose to stand with Shi Yunshan. So another bet was made. Shi Yunshan, Nie Chuiying, and Meng Yike all agreed that it would take at least a month for them to reconcile. Nie Chuiying even bet two hundred.
Regardless, Chu Yiqi went straight to Lanxie as soon as he left. When she had work, Xi Ai actually preferred to stay here, but she would often go to the old man's place when she had free time.
The security guard recognized her—she used to come here often, and she and Xi Ai walked in hand in hand, chatting and laughing. So as she went in, he asked, "Long time no see, how have you been?"
"It's alright, thank you."
"But Miss Xi doesn't seem to be here. She went out yesterday and hasn't come back."
Chu Yiqi was stunned for a moment, then smiled and said, "It's okay, I'll go in for a bit."
For some reason, she just wanted to go and see, even if it was just to see something about Xi Ai.
She had actually called Xi Ai before leaving the house, but Xi Ai's phone was off.
As she reached the door, she saw the aunt coming out. The aunt smiled at Chu Yiqi and said, "Miss has been away lately. She said she wanted to go out for a walk and asked me to pack up the vegetables."
Chu Yiqi nodded and entered the password—3579.
A long time ago, she joked with Xi Ai, saying that this password was great because it was the story of how they met and got together when read backwards, and their birthdays when read forwards.
So it hasn't been changed yet.
Chu Yiqi smiled faintly.
But once inside, every step she took seemed incredibly difficult for her.
She noticed that the butterfly-shaped sticky notes that had been pasted on the refrigerator had disappeared.
—In the past, Xi Ai would often forget to eat when she was busy, so Chu Yiqi would always make sure she ate properly.
On several occasions when Xi Ai was sick, I wrote down some dietary restrictions and suitable foods, and simply marked the recipes. Each time, Xi Ai would stick the paper on the refrigerator.
Sometimes when Chu Yiqi was in a hurry to attend an event, she would leave him a note or something, and Xi Ai would usually stick it on the note.
Chu Yiqi had tried to dissuade her, saying that she wouldn't even look at all the stickers, and that they didn't match her minimalist decor. But Xi Ai insisted, "I'm going to stick them on anyway. These butterfly sticky notes are so pretty."
"Just stick them on, it's your house anyway, stick them on, stick them on."
Actually, they didn't put up many stickers, because in the future, they would be living in another house they bought together.
Chu Yiqi felt a tightness in her chest. She turned around and carefully placed the preserved flower she had carried all the way on the entryway cabinet.
If she comes back... then you'll see her.
Although Chu Yiqi did not leave his name.
Chu Yiqi didn't see anyone, so he returned to Luzhou Island.
Chu Yiqi curled up on the sofa for a while, and even showed signs of falling asleep at one point.
In her hazy state, she thought, Xi Ai…
Where could it possibly be?
She repeated the words "take a break" several times, but became increasingly at a loss.
It was supposed to be a perfectly normal separation, but perhaps because their recent interactions had been too awkward, or perhaps because Xi Ai's attitude had suddenly become unpredictable, Chu Yiqi just couldn't bear it for even a moment longer.
They insist on saying something from the bottom of their hearts, to confirm something.
On the other side, Xi Ai happened to pick up Mu Jin at the airport and they were having a coffee talk.
Why aren't you with Chu Yiqi?
Xi Ai said, "I'll just take this opportunity to relax. I hope we can finalize this collaboration within an hour. Then I'll head out."
Mu was somewhat surprised, but he subconsciously didn't believe that Xi Ai really didn't intend to care about Chu Yiqi. He said, "A business trip?"
"No, it's my private trip."
"What are you thinking? Aren't you afraid she really won't contact you anymore?"
Xi Ai was quiet for a moment, then said, "I can't possibly take every single step."
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