The beginning of winter
The group quickly put away their cards. Meng Yike thought for a moment and said, "Actually, this scene is perfect for us to watch a movie."
Xi Ai breathed a sigh of relief: "Finally, our post-production team can have something to edit."
Nie Chuiying laughed as she retorted to Xi Ai, "How presumptuous of you to say that! Are we really that uncooperative?"
"No, but the turnover isn't enough." Chu Yiqi propped his head up, sat down next to Xi Ai, and acted like a god in control of the remote control.
"Shh—" Meng Yike said, moving the camera a little closer, "Is this something we can talk about? Why are you all so loud?"
"Okay, let's talk about something else, like why Xi Ai and Yi Qi weren't there for that wonderful hot pot dinner a few days ago." Shi Yunshan turned her attention to Chu Yi Qi this time, "Right, Qi Qi?"
Chu Yiqi subconsciously looked at Xi Ai, who looked at her openly. Chu Yiqi had no choice but to bite the bullet and answer, "Actually, it's to encourage the four of them."
Xi Ai followed up: "Actually, it's because of discord within the team. They couldn't stand each other as soon as they came back, and it was uncomfortable to even sit down to eat together."
Nie Chuiying and Shi Yunshan exchanged glances, and somehow Nie Chuiying took control of Shi Yunshan's right to speak. So the two of them said in unison, "Oh dear, it's final week, we need a quiet place to study."
Chu Yiqi: "..."
Xi Ai: "..."
The culprit—Nie Chuiying—smiled to herself after speaking with Shi Yunshan, then looked at Chu Yiqi, then at Xi Ai, and finally stared at the remote control.
"Okay, what are you looking at, Qiqi? You've already scrolled to a rating of 8.0 and still haven't found anything you like?" Yu Nianxi asked.
At this moment, Meng Yike felt that she was the matchmaker in charge of the red thread of fate, comparable to Cupid. She said, "Come on, let's watch 'The Thirteenth Month' instead."
"..."
Xi Ai took a breath and said, "It's been almost a year, hasn't it? Anyone who hasn't seen it, step forward."
“I…” Chu Yiqi blinked, looked at Xi Ai, and said.
Xi Ai opened her eyes and then closed them again.
“I’ve actually been waiting for you to see it in person.” Nie Chuiying silently raised her hand, and Shi Yunshan echoed her.
"Okay, okay," Xi Ai said, as if she were particularly understanding. "What about Chu Yiqi?"
"Sure, I haven't had time to watch it yet."
As soon as the title card for "The Thirteenth Month" appeared, Xi Ai subconsciously glanced at Yu Nianxi.
After all, the screenwriter is her brother.
Yu Nianxi's reaction was relatively normal; she hugged a huge whale-shaped pillow and was still able to say a few words to Meng Yike.
The film opens with a scene on a windowsill bathed in the setting sun, where a shattered glass flowerpot lies. Early autumn dew hangs suspended, gathering its strength before finally dripping.
"Tick-tock—"
The silent film finally introduced sound, and the camera then shifted to a girl sitting in the corner with her knees drawn up to her chest.
The incessant sounds of arguing gradually entered the room.
That frail and lonely figure gradually merged with my memory.
Many years ago, Chu Yiqi would often stay alone in her room, wrap herself in the blankets, and hug herself, trying to isolate herself from her parents' arguments.
Later they stopped arguing, and Chu Yiqi stayed with her mother, but she would still often sit alone in her room, curling herself up in a ball, trying to make herself feel a little safe.
It looked more like an injured kitten, huddled in the corner of its cat bed, licking its fur.
Xi Ai noticed that Chu Yiqi was lost in thought, so she pretended to casually put her hand down and "casually" touched the back of Chu Yiqi's hand.
She no longer covered Chu Yiqi's hand as before, nor did the latter turn his palm over to hold her hand.
But that was enough for Chu Yiqi to remember that those years had all passed, and at most, there were just some flowerpot fragments that couldn't be cleaned up.
Then Chu Yiqi remembered when Xi Ai was choosing scripts.
*
It was the beginning of winter, and the heating in the house was on full blast, so Xi Ai was only wearing a slightly fleece-lined sweatshirt and flared pants.
A stack of scripts was piled up in front of Xi Ai.
The choices Su Luojian gave were all pretty good; some had interesting plots, and others were new works by well-known directors.
Xi Ai got tired of picking things out, so she pulled Teacher Chu along with her.
Chu Yiqi frowned slightly upon seeing a campus drama. Xi Ai seemed to linger there deliberately.
"You don't like this?"
Chu Yiqi looked up. The two were very close, with Chu Yiqi resting her head on Xi Ai's shoulder. She paused slightly upon hearing this and said, "No, you can choose the role you want to play."
Xi Ai stopped talking and put the book aside.
Chu Yiqi glanced at it and judged that it was the option that Xi Ai had directly ruled out.
"Won't you stay a little longer?"
Xi Ai looked up at her, her tone indifferent: "Didn't you say you didn't like it?"
"No," Chu Yiqi retorted instinctively.
Xi Ai said, "Well, you don't. It's because I don't like it and don't want to act out any deep affection with anyone else."
Chu Yiqi didn't say anything, but helped Xi Ai open another script. Just as he was about to withdraw his hand, Xi Ai grabbed it.
After Xi Ai grabbed it, she placed her hand on Chu Yiqi's wrist. The hoodie he was wearing today was the same style as Xi Ai's, and it was rather loose, so Xi Ai's hand landed on Chu Yiqi's wrist.
Chu Yiqi's breath hitched. Actually, because of those old injuries, the inside of her wrist wasn't very sensitive. But in that instant, she felt as if she could feel Xi Ai's palm lines brushing against the scars.
After a while, Xi Ai finally found an excuse for her momentary pity: "Don't move your hand, don't disturb me."
Chu Yiqi snorted and said, "Then I'll go to the music room."
"Hey, hey, hey—" Xi Ai grabbed Chu Yiqi's arm, placed Chu Yiqi's hand on the script, and quickly tried to stop her, "Okay, okay, you can flip through it however you like—"
"Okay, okay, I'll take a look with you. Be serious."
Perhaps it was because Chu Yiqi's tone was too gentle, yet carried a hint of an older sister's unquestionable authority, that Xi Ai obediently read the script for a long time.
The sun slowly crept through the window and fell on them. Xi Ai finally chose a script—"The Thirteenth Month".
For some unknown reason, the two of them skipped the part about the campus drama, and Chu Yiqi also glanced at the general plot.
The protagonist's family background was far from happy, and her parents were overly controlling. Amidst a series of tragedies, she chose to live on with a Romain Rolland-esque heroism.
The opportunity for her redemption and self-redemption was simple, but interesting—it was precisely the jacaranda tree that had been buried in the sparse soil in the flowerpot that had been broken at the beginning, which sprouted in the autumn frost.
Thus, a self-imagined best friend, a fleeting redemption, begins in late autumn, and teaches her to embrace herself again and look forward to the sunrise.
What Chu Yiqi saw was the hopelessness and oppression in such a life, as well as the indelible hope that existed in the future.
Chu Yiqi's breath hitched. Logically speaking, this plot wasn't exactly new, but Xi Ai made the decision almost without hesitation.
Whether there was any ulterior motive involved, or what kind of selfish motive it might have been, she dared not delve into.
Xi Ai opened the script again and began making some annotations. Finally, she gave Chu Yiqi a meaningful look.
Although this might not be a good solution, she still wanted to try and get Chu Yiqi to take even half a step out.
Chu Yiqi almost wanted to ask Xi Ai "Why did you choose this?", but then felt it was inappropriate, and also anticipated that Xi Ai might answer - "I like it."
*
Chu Yiqi asked Xi Ai in a low voice, "So, you were the one who added that jacaranda?"
Xi Ai looked up at her, her eyes reflecting a faint light that shone brightly and beautifully in the night.
"yes."
*
In Yu Qinglin's script, Ye Ruqing was trying to achieve self-redemption. The loneliness she had since childhood and the lack of anyone to confide in made her imagine a second version of herself, allowing her to love herself.
However, Xi Ai always felt that a certain opportunity was missing.
She asked Chu Yiqi about this, and he said, "Teacher Chu, if one day, while Ye Ruqing is listening to the arguing, she happens to look up and see spring growing in that broken flowerpot, perhaps she won't be lonely for so long."
“I thought…” Chu Yiqi was silent for a moment, then suddenly chuckled very softly and said, “I thought you would say that Ye Ruqing would really meet a bright and cheerful person at that time.”
"No way."
Why?
Xi Ai swayed from side to side, finally leaning on Chu Yiqi's shoulder. It was already winter then, and Chu Yiqi's clothes were always fluffy, which felt very comfortable against her skin.
"Because Ye Ruqing is actually quite conflicted. She longs to communicate with the outside world in order to forget that lonely, helpless, and unaccepted self."
"So even when she was able to earn a relatively stable income through writing, she still chose to open a bookstore, a job that would involve meeting many people." Chu Yiqi turned to look at Xi Ai and smoothly continued the conversation.
Xi Ai nodded, turned a page of the script, pointed to her own annotations, and said, "But she was also afraid. She didn't dare to reach out and take the initiative to interact with people. Moreover, she was more sensitive at that time and was resistant to the outside world. She was unwilling to believe or accept kindness from the outside world because she had never seen it since she was a child."
“Yes.” Chu Yiqi leaned on Xi Ai’s head and suddenly felt a little relieved. She said, “So when she suddenly sees someone like that, she will feel repulsed, or even disgusted.”
It was as if I had just met Xi Ai.
Chu Yiqi continued, "But Han Yixin is different. She and Ye Ruqing have things in common, but she is like the person Ye Ruqing hopes to become but dares not, and she is braver than her real self. So... only at this moment has she become her own guide."
"So, what do you think? Was my suggestion good?"
Chu Yiqi lowered his eyes, looked at Xi Ai who was leaning on his shoulder, flipping through the script and memorizing her lines, and said, "I think it's great."
She suddenly recalled how she and Xi Ai had gotten to know each other, and it was exactly like that: an instinctive aversion to kindness, followed by a tentative acceptance after discovering common ground, and an irreversible dependence like a frog being slowly boiled in water.
It seems that at some point, she herself had forgotten the difference between herself and Xi Ai.
If it weren't for those people constantly reminding her lately—telling her that she and Xi Ai were never meant to be from the same world, that they were mismatched and unsuitable, and that her mental state and abilities were no match for Xi Ai's—she would have been a different story.
She could have walked out, but she suddenly hesitated.
Chu Yiqi raised his hand, paused in mid-air, and finally only touched the end of Xi Ai's hair.
She seemed to know what Xi Ai wanted to say, but there were always other voices in her mind.
That was her own voice, expressing self-doubt, denial, and discouragement.
*
Chu Yiqi said, "That jacaranda tree that finally sprouted was actually Ye Ruqing at that time, who had already figured things out a little, right?"
“She’s been trying ever since she left those fragments, so coincidentally, her favorite flower can grow in suffering.” Xi Ai placed her hand next to Chu Yiqi’s.
Heat radiates, then is transmitted, and spreads.
In that instant, it seemed as if something had melted away. Chu Yi stared blankly for a moment before looking at the screen again.
Much later, when Chu Yiqi recalled it, he realized that the first warming of the southern sky was triggered here.
At this moment, as winter transitions into spring, the first drop of frost and snow melts into water.
It nourishes the budding of Phalaenopsis orchids and the emergence of butterflies from their cocoons.
As the movie ended, a monologue followed, and Chu Yiqi froze the moment she heard that voice.
That was Xi Ai's voice.
Xi Ai said, "Behind every person, there is such a self, which is the fundamental reason why we achieve self-redemption."
"Behind every hardship lies the promise of a new life and a sunrise, carrying hope."
"But all of this is predicated on learning to embrace yourself."
Chu Yiqi looked at the subtitles and silently repeated them.
"Chu Yiqi".
Chu Yiqi smelled a faint scent of mugwort: "Hmm."
"Is there anything you want to ask?"
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