Chapter 34
On a Saturday afternoon, sunlight streamed through the tall windows onto the familiar floor of the Xihe Dance Club. The air was filled with the unique aroma of old wood and sweat. As Feng Ling pushed open the heavy black door, she felt a bit dazed.
There were already quite a few people sitting in the classroom, mostly core members of the dance club and some old friends who had left long ago but had rushed in after hearing the news. Even Jia Jia was there, waving excitedly at her. The atmosphere was warm and nostalgic.
Qiqi stood at the front of the classroom, wearing no fancy stage costume but a simple black sportswear. Yet, he exuded a calm aura, commanding the audience. Instead of engaging in intense instruction, he engaged in a dialogue, sharing his experiences abroad, his reflections on the essence of dance, and the "dance therapy" project he is currently exploring.
His voice was low, but clear enough for everyone to hear. He spoke of how dance can help people release repressed emotions and connect with their inner selves through movement. He even invited a few students to a simple, eyes-closed improvisation, focusing solely on their breathing and the subtlest sensations of their bodies.
"Forget the techniques, forget the movements, just feel your body and what it is telling you." His voice was like gentle guidance, caressing everyone's heart.
Feng Ling sat in a corner, watching the scene unfold before her. The once overly loud music, its rhythms striving for ultimate explosiveness, was now replaced by a deeper, more internal power. She watched Qiqi wander among the students, occasionally gently straightening someone's shoulder and whispering, "Feel the power flowing here." His profile, framed by the light and shadow, appeared focused and peaceful.
A strange sense of tranquility enveloped her. Here, she was no longer Director Feng, who needed to strategize and maintain professionalism at all times. She seemed to have transformed back into the schoolgirl who first walked into this place, full of curiosity and desire for the world of street dance.
Her thoughts gradually drifted away, and a warm memory that had been forgotten, belonging to her and Qiqi, suddenly flooded into her mind without warning.
***
It was a typical evening after class at the Xihe Dance Club. Most of the students had already left, leaving only the two of them. She sat on the floor, sulking in frustration over a complex hip-hop rhythm she couldn't quite grasp. Qiqi didn't lecture her; she simply smiled and walked over, extending her hand.
"Come, I'll show you how to feel."
He played a soothing blues song, completely different from the intense beats she usually practiced. He stood behind her, gently holding her waist and arms with both hands, guiding her body, and doing the most basic up and down movements slowly, over and over again, to the music.
"Don't think about movement, close your eyes," his voice rang in my ears, low and gentle, "feel the flow of the music, let your body be like water, follow it... Yes, that's it..."
His palms were warm, and the force of his guidance was gentle but firm, with an unquestionable professionalism and reassuring tolerance. In the empty classroom, gilded by the afterglow of the setting sun, and to the lazy music, her tense body finally relaxed completely, as if it had truly melted into water and merged with the rhythm. At that moment, there was no pressure of assessment, no anxiety of competition, only pure joy and tacit understanding born from the dance itself. When it was over, he ruffled her hair, his eyes full of admiration and smile: "See, it's not that you can't do it, you were just too nervous before. When dancing, you have to enjoy it first."
That evening, that gentle guidance, the feeling of being understood and patiently tolerated, planted a seed of dependence and admiration in her heart.
***
The class ended in an immersive atmosphere, with enthusiastic applause from the audience. Many people gathered around Qiqi to chat, but Feng Ling didn't approach. She simply sat quietly, taking in the familiar yet unfamiliar scene before her. Qiqi spotted her figure in the crowd and silently mouthed, "Wait for me."
The crowd gradually dispersed, and even Jiajia was pulled away by her friends. Only the two of them were left in the classroom, with the sunlight streaming in.
Qiqi saw the last person off, closed the door, turned around, and walked towards her. He had a gentle smile on his face and sat down casually on the cushion beside her, just like they had chatted after class many years ago.
"How do you feel?" he asked in a soft voice, as if afraid to disturb the tranquility.
"Very different." Feng Ling answered honestly, his eyes wandering across the smooth mirrored wall. "It feels... deeper, and also... wider."
Qiqi smiled and didn't say anything. She just looked at her silently, her eyes so deep that it seemed as if she could see into the depths of her soul.
After a long while, he slowly spoke, his voice low and frank: "Feng Ling, in the past few years I was away, every day was a preparation for today."
Feng Ling's heart trembled slightly and she looked at him.
"I left before," he met her gaze, his eyes clear and resolute, "because I couldn't give you a stable life, nor could I give you... a true spiritual dialogue of equality. So I went to study, to see the wider world, to settle down, to make myself worthy of you and your parents' standards." He paused, his tone solemn, "Now, I have done it."
His words were like a warm current and a huge rock, sinking into Feng Ling's already troubled heart. She opened her mouth, wanting to say something, but found that she couldn't make any sound.
"I understand the path you've chosen now," Qiqi continued. There was no accusation in her tone, only deep understanding and a subtle hint of heartache. "Ankhsu is outstanding. The love he gives you is passionate and pure, like a fire, wanting to bring the best in the world to you. I have no doubt about his sincerity."
His tone suddenly changed, becoming sharp and direct, revealing the hidden worries she had been reluctant to consider. "But, Feng Ling, is that kind of life, living in the spotlight, requiring caution at every turn, even requiring meticulous planning of relationships, keeping you constantly 'invisible', really what you want deep down? Where is the Feng Ling who only wanted to pursue pure freedom when she was dancing with Xihe?"
Every word struck at Feng Ling's most sensitive and fragile nerves. She subconsciously curled her fingers, a feeling of panic and... grievance of being completely seen through welling up in her heart.
Qiqi looked at her slightly pale face, his eyes softening and his tone becoming gentler, yet carrying an undeniable allure: "With me, we can live in the sunshine. No paparazzi, no excessive fan attention. Together, we can open a dance club that truly blends art and education. You can run it with your expertise and ideals, realizing your true value. We can visit your parents anytime, have dinner together on weekends, and receive their unreserved blessings." His voice grew softer, painting a tangible blueprint. "Our child will grow up in a stable, artistic, yet ordinary, free environment."
A ready-made, easy, blessed future that returns to our original intention.
This is in stark contrast to the "Ankhsu-style future" she is experiencing, which requires her to overcome many obstacles, hide her identity for the next few years, and live under tremendous pressure.
Feng Ling's heart was torn apart at that moment.
On one side is the fiery, adventurous sea of stars that belongs to Ankhsu and is closely tied to her current career.
On one side is a warm, stable, peaceful harbor that belongs to Qiqi and allows her to return to her true self.
How should she choose?
Qiqi didn't force her, but just sat there quietly, like a steady mountain, giving her silent support and waiting for the storm in her heart to pass.
Feng Ling lowered her head, looking at her fingers, which had become dry from days of typing, and remained silent for a long time. The afterglow of the setting sun shone through the window, stretching their shadows very long, interweaving them together, as if reflecting her own confused and indecisive heart.
She needs time and space, and needs to carefully re-examine her heart and what she really wants.
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