Chapter 88
One autumn rain brings a chill. Yesterday's rain lasted all night and only stopped in the early morning. The misty sky carried a damp and cold chill.
Zhan Xian pushed open the gate to the courtyard, hesitated for a moment, but still did not lock it.
She didn't live in this house for long; it contained very few belongings, so she wasn't worried about anyone stealing. Besides, once she left, she probably wouldn't have the chance to come back.
Anguo was about to go to war with Xili. Upon hearing this news, she took the initiative to seek out Gu Shu'an for the first time since returning to Mingzhou, telling him that she wanted to lead troops there. Gu Shu'an naturally refused, something Zhan Xian had already anticipated. She was still a criminal and had not yet cleared her name; how could Gu Shu'an entrust her with the military command? But even if he refused, she still had to go to Xili. If she couldn't lead the troops, she would go secretly on her own. Thanks to the Miss Qiu, she raised a considerable amount of money, recruiting soldiers and horses along the way westward, like rivers flowing into the sea. By the time she reached the border of Xili, she had formed a well-disciplined and highly motivated army.
Thinking of this, Zhan Xian tightened the bundle on her body.
Dying on the battlefield, wrapped in a horse's hide, is the best end for the Zhan family. If she's lucky enough, she might even uncover the truth behind the framing of the Zhan family for treason. That would be an explanation to her father, brothers, and the Zhan family army. She just doesn't know if that day will ever come when the injustice is redressed…
Zhan Xian exhaled a soft breath of white air, then turned around swiftly as if making a firm decision. This would be the last time she experienced the damp chill of Mingzhou City.
She took only one step before stopping. Not far away, Qiu Qing was standing in the corner, smiling and greeting her.
Good morning.
Zhan Xian walked to her side and asked, "Did you need something?"
Lin Yi gently shook his head: "I've come to see you off."
How did you know I was leaving today?
Lin Yi wasn't actually sure it was today; she only heard from Xie Chengnan that Zhan Xian had actually gone to see Gu Shu'an yesterday, saying she wanted to lead troops to the battlefield. Gu Shu'an naturally wouldn't agree, but Zhan Xian wouldn't give up so easily either; she would go to the border alone, just like in the original story. Lin Yi remembered it was a morning, and considering Zhan Xian's personality, it was probably the day after Gu Shu'an rejected her.
So as soon as the rain stopped, she was already waiting at the door, her clothes soaked through.
But she didn't mention it at all, only reminding Zhan Xian to be extra careful in everything she did.
Zhan Xian felt a subtle stirring in her heart. She never would have imagined that the only person to see her off before her departure would be Qiu Qingye, who had regarded her as an imaginary enemy for more than ten years.
It can only be said that fate plays tricks on people.
Lin Yi seemed to suddenly remember something, rummaged through his pockets, and pulled out a palm-sized silk handkerchief containing a porcelain bottle. "Actually, you still need one more acupuncture session, but there's no time. This is medicine to treat your old ailment. It's troublesome to cook the decoction, and you might not be able to find a pot on this journey where you'll be exposed to the elements, so I made it into pills. Just take one pill with water every day."
"……Thank you."
"It was nothing, no need to thank me." Lin Yi maintained a gentle smile throughout, but Zhan Xian felt that something seemed different about her.
But she didn't know Qiu Qingye very well, so she couldn't quite put her finger on what was different about her.
They didn't have much to talk about. Daylight was breaking, the hazy mist was beginning to dissipate, revealing a diluted blue hue. They exchanged farewells and then headed off in opposite directions.
Changning said she had a way to get Gu Shuan to allow her to come along, but Lin Yi waited for two days without any progress.
This matter cannot afford the slightest mistake. After much deliberation, Lin Yi decided that he should ask Gu Shuan in person.
She could use the contact methods Zhan Xian taught her to arrange a meeting, just like last time, but Lin Yi was worried that Xie Chengnan would get jealous and sulk, so she decided to talk to him first.
Recently, Gu Shuan has been busy preparing for his personal expedition, while Xie Chengnan has had a few days of leisure. He doesn't have much to worry about; he only needs to accompany Gu Shuan. Actually, Gu Shuan originally intended for him to stay in the city to keep a close eye on the court's movements and, incidentally, to expose the spies within the court who are secretly colluding with Xili. However, Xie Chengnan has his own selfish motives. The deaths of Xie Yanzhe and his mother are very likely related to Xili—this is what Yao Niang told him.
He secured a spot for Xili from Gu Shuan, but he hasn't told Lin Yi yet, afraid that she would worry, and also afraid that danger is indiscriminate, and what would she do if he really didn't come back.
So yesterday, I tentatively told her that Zhan Xian was going to the battlefield, just to see her reaction.
Lin Yi showed no surprise upon hearing this, her words revealing admiration for Zhan Xian's courage. This was entirely expected; Xie Chengnan knew she wasn't a coward, and though a woman, she was far from being as weak as she appeared. He figured she wouldn't object if he went to the battlefield too…
Xie Chengnan was always impulsive, doing whatever came to mind. Even someone as carefree as him had his moments of hesitation and fear. The young man finally felt the weight of being a husband, realizing he owed Lin Yi and the Xie family a great debt. But with the situation pressing, he didn't know how to make amends. He remembered Xie Yanzhe telling him that soldiers on the march never knew which battle would be their end, so they wrote a will before setting off, keeping it close to their bodies. If they died in battle, their surviving comrades would deliver it to their relatives upon their triumphant return.
When Xie Chengnan was young, he only felt sad when he heard this, but Xie Yanzhe said that he had also written for his mother. In a child's eyes, the affection between parents is always warm and deep, so he also felt that this practice was really elegant.
So, after a flurry of random thoughts, he wrote a letter. In the first seventeen years of his life, aside from a few moments of childhood innocence, Xie Xiaohouye had only been carefree and reserved; he truly didn't know how to put the words "romance" into words. He racked his brains, finally explaining his "final arrangements." Besides the Xie family mansion and enough money to support Xie Chengfeng for the rest of his life, he gave Lin Yi all of his annual princely stipend and pension, and attached a divorce agreement, signing his name. He was quite satisfied, yet also a little heartbroken. If he truly couldn't return, this divorce agreement would set her free.
The letter was carefully folded and put into an envelope. He hadn't given it to Lin Yi yet, subconsciously feeling that she might be angry, so he planned to delay it as long as possible.
This made him feel a little guilty. Although he was jealous, he still agreed to Lin Yi's request to see Gu Shuan.
He personally led the person to Gu Shuan, while he himself stopped outside the door. Although he was curious and concerned, he wouldn't eavesdrop on what the two were saying. If Lin Yi wanted to talk, he would listen; if not, he would just make a few teasing remarks and leave it at that. However, while waiting for the person, Xie Chengnan looked at the two scattered sycamore leaves blown down in the courtyard, gave a bitter smile, and thought that there was probably no husband more magnanimous than himself.
It is unknown what methods Changning used, but Lin Yi told Gu Shuan that he also wanted to go to Xili. Gu Shuan listened to such an absurd request without expression and agreed without saying anything.
He looked visibly haggard, and his hair under his crown was a bit messy, with a few stray strands not even properly tied up.
Lin paused for a moment, then told him, "Zhan Xian has already set off for Xili." Without waiting for his reaction, she strode out to find Xie Chengnan.
The rain had stopped and the sky was clear; apart from a slight chill in the air, the weather was perfect. For the two of them, this was a rare moment of peace before their trip. Without anyone rushing them, they walked side by side down the street.
As the weather gets colder, the street vendors have become lazy, and the area is less bustling than usual, with only a few vendors around, making it look rather deserted.
"Are you cold?" Xie Chengnan asked.
"A little."
Xie Chengnan then took her hand and held it in his palm.
Lin Yi's hands were very cold. People say that only those who are uncared for have cold hands and feet.
An impulse flashed through his mind, but he quickly scoffed at himself. How could Qiu Qing not be loved? Even without him, she still had her loving father and mother, Xueya, the entire Qiu family, and the Imperial Concubine Shu.
Located just two street corners from the Yong'an Marquis's residence, Xie Chengnan began packing his bags after returning home.
Some things, if you don't say them now, you might never have the chance again.
After much hesitation, all it takes is that fleeting moment of courage to speak. Xie Chengnan told her that he would be going to the border as a deputy general with Gu Shuan, departing soon. He said, "Gu Shuan is a good-for-nothing; he can't handle anything without me," and "Marquis Yong'an will achieve great success there, and his value will surely rise." He even half-jokingly said that if Lin Yi couldn't wait for his return, she could remarry and divorce while he was away…
His voice was low and gentle as he rambled on and on, sounding relaxed and cheerful, as if going to the battlefield with a knife tomorrow was nothing more than sitting in a brothel with a fan.
Lin Yi listened, watching his eyes and brows as he whispered, but remained silent.
Xie Chengnan finally ran out of things to say and fell silent.
Lin Yi asked, "Do you really have to go?"
"Um."
Lin nodded, and after a while, said, "I will go with you."
Xie Chengnan grabbed her, and the light-hearted mask finally cracked and shattered: "What do you mean?!"
"I've already spoken with Gu Shuan, and I'll go with him as a female healer," Lin Yi said softly, looking him into the eyes.
"no!"
"What are you going there for? The battlefield is no joke. Oil mixed with poisoned arrows are flying everywhere, and there are countless wounded. We don't need another medic like you!"
"Amidst the trampling of horses and hand-to-hand combat, there's no time for bandaging. By the time you reach a healer, your body will be covered in festering sores, with pus and blood oozing out along with your intestines. You won't even be able to hold a scalpel properly—"
"I can hold it steady." Xie Chengnan was about to tell her some horrifying scenes to scare her away when Lin Yi interrupted him.
"Xie Chengnan, even if it's rotting corpses and dried bones, my blade will still fall. I have things to do there. I won't stop you, and you shouldn't stop me. Besides, whatever happens, wouldn't it be better if we faced it together?"
"This is bad!" Xie Chengnan's eyes were bloodshot and red. "Damn it, this is bad at all!"
This was probably the first time Lin Yi had seen him so out of control. She was momentarily stunned, feeling a mix of emotions, a bittersweet ache, and difficulty breathing.
Xie Chengnan gripped her shoulders with both hands, still trying desperately to persuade her, "Listen, you and I are different. The battlefield is not a place for you. Stay in the manor and wait for me to come back. I promise I'll be back soon... Will you listen to me?" By the end, his tone had become somewhat pleading.
Since returning from the last palace banquet, during the several days of cold war between the two, Xie Chengnan understood that once Lin Yi made a decision, no one could influence it, not even him.
Xie Chengnan quickly regained his composure, though his voice still sounded urgent. "Listen to me, stay home for the next two days and don't go anywhere. Don't force me to lock you up."
Lin Yi kept watching him, taking in his panic, loss of composure, anger, ruthlessness, and the fear hidden behind it all.
Then she cruelly said to him, "Xie Chengnan, I will not listen to you."
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