Chapter 99
There were still a hundred wounded soldiers waiting for treatment in front of the tent. Even though there was no way to bring them back to health, cleaning, bandaging, and comforting them all needed to be done one by one. By the time everything was arranged, it was already night.
Lin Yi came out of the medical tent and looked up at the few bonfires burning in the distance in the dim light, and was momentarily dazed.
“Madam—” Jiang Ji had been waiting for her outside the tent for quite some time. “The General sent me to fetch you. The victory celebration banquet has already begun.”
Jiang Ji did not participate directly in this battle, but the young man's words showed a lot more composure.
"Don't call me 'Madam' while we're in the camp."
"yes……"
The sky here is shrouded in sand and dust during the day, a pure white expanse even under the blazing sun, with few clear or bright spots in the vast expanse. Yet, the stars at night are exceptionally bright. The raging sand quietly recedes, leaving only an almost bone-chilling cold.
Lin Yi rubbed his arms vigorously.
"Dr. Qiu, is there any hope for those people?" Jiang Ji asked abruptly as he led the way with his head down.
"There is hope, there will be a way."
Seeing her so confident, the young man finally felt a little relieved. He turned around and finally showed a smile on his face. "Tonight, the commander-in-chief will reward the three armies. There will be wine and meat soup to drink. After drinking the soup, we can play dominoes. There's no need for drills."
Although the battle was perilous, they had ultimately won. Marching through the Gobi Desert was inherently difficult, and after successfully crossing the pass, the An army set up camp. Gu Shu'an then ordered a reward for the troops. This "reward" was really just a gathering where everyone was given some sake and cooked dried meat, with some enthusiastic soldiers spontaneously organizing small entertainment. Lin Yi wasn't particularly interested in these things, but for these soldiers thousands of miles from home, it was a welcome respite from their long march. Seeing the boy's expectant expression, Lin Yi didn't say anything to dampen the spirits.
There are many talented people in the army. One infantryman took out a suona (a traditional Chinese wind instrument) from his luggage and played a war tune unique to the Anguo army. The soldier next to him tapped the rim of a bowl with chopsticks to match the drumbeats.
The mournful sound of the suona, combined with the dim firelight, evoked a sense of bitter cold and desolation, as if the person was guarding the frontier alone.
Someone suggested changing to a more cheerful tune, and after thinking for a moment, Bu Bing played a folk song that every household hums during the Chinese New Year.
...
"Hey Lao Wang, stop bragging. You're making such a fuss, like you're giving us a funeral!"
Old Wang smiled shyly. The suona playing on a cold night was hardly a festive occasion, so he carefully put the instrument away and took a big gulp of wine.
After drinking, they started humming.
Drinking alcohol is forbidden in the military camp, but at today's victory celebration, an exception was made and each person was given two bowls of sake. The sake wasn't very old and wasn't particularly intoxicating, but the atmosphere was intoxicating, and some soldiers still got drunk.
Jiang Ji brought Lin Yi to the banquet, but upon seeing this scene, he couldn't help but feel disappointed.
This was far removed from the image of war and conquest in the young man's mind. His vision of going to war was one of chivalrous courage in defending his country, of a true hero dying on the battlefield. The war drums thundered, their energy reaching the heavens; the victory celebrations should have been a joyous occasion of raising bowls in celebration, accompanied by the sounds of reed pipes and whirling dances, with laughter and conversation about the spoils of war around the campfire. Instead… it shouldn't be so desolate. The sky was cold, the ground was cold, the wine was cold, and his heart seemed unable to warm up.
He swallowed a mouthful of sake, his Adam's apple bobbing. The sake was very weak, like it had been diluted with water, and it left him feeling neither satisfied nor pleasant.
His Highness the Crown Prince, as the commander-in-chief, did not leave his seat, as if he intended to sit with the soldiers until the banquet ended. However, he had not yet learned how to communicate effectively with his soldiers as the commander-in-chief. When he sat alone, no one dared to speak to him, and he simply watched the soldiers drink and play drinking games quietly.
Zhan Xian had already become one with the cavalry archers. As the female lead, she possessed such courage; her character and abilities were enough to convince everyone with just one battle. Lin Yi thought aimlessly that, compared to Gu Shu'an, she seemed more suited to be a commander.
Lin Yi didn't notice Xie Chengnan at first; he wasn't sitting at the table, but hiding in the shadows.
Every time Lin Yi saw him alone, she felt inexplicably uneasy, afraid that he was all alone, and even more afraid that the ending would come true.
Jiang brought Lin Yi to Xie Chengnan's side. The mission was complete, and it was time for him to leave.
Xie Chengnan suddenly called out to him. Perhaps the boy's dejection was too obvious. Although Xie Chengnan was not much older than him, he unusually reached out and patted the boy's head, taking out a packet of oil paper from his chest.
Inside were a few coarsely made sugar melons, a specialty of Liangzhou, made from sesame seeds.
Jiang Ji was surprised. He looked at Xie Chengnan, then at Lin Yi: "You gave it to me? Not to my husband... not to Doctor Qiu?"
“She doesn’t like to eat this,” Xie Chengnan said.
"Thank you, General!" After expressing his gratitude, the boy still held the candy melon, seemingly at a loss for what to do.
"Stop being so polite, eat up. There's not much good food in the camp, and you're getting too thin, you're still growing."
Jiang Ji sniffed, "Thank you..." The conditions on the march were harsh, and he wasn't the only one who had lost weight.
"Don't keep thanking me. I haven't thanked you for taking care of me yet," Lin Yi said.
"I...it's all what I should do."
Xie Chengnan turned his gaze to Lin Yi, but still spoke to the young man: "War is not as great as you might imagine, nor is it filled with so much joy and revenge. If possible, no one would want war to break out, and no one would want to experience the life-or-death struggle again and again. We are here simply to defend Mingzhou and every city of Anguo."
So, don't overthink it.
Jiang Ji opened her mouth in surprise, then closed it again, asking unwillingly, "Is it that obvious?"
"Yes, your worries are written all over your face," Xie Chengnan said.
Jiang Ji, unwilling to give up, went to see Lin Yi.
The latter decided to save face for the child: "It's not that obvious."
"..." The child no longer believes it.
"General..." Jiang Ji hesitated, "I also want to go into battle and kill the enemy."
"It's not that I don't want to protect Madam, nor that I don't like my current job!" he hurriedly explained. "I just don't want to keep hiding in the back—no, I'm not saying that Doctor Qiu is bad in the rear, I just—oh, my clumsy mouth!" Jiang Ji collapsed, covering his face and squatting down.
Xie Chengnan just looked at him without saying a word.
Lin Yi stepped forward to help the person up, but Xie Chengnan shook his head at her.
It wasn't until Jiang Ji lifted his head from his palm that a hint of guilty awkwardness appeared in his eyes.
Xie Chengnan asked him, "Have you thought it through?"
"...I've thought it through."
"Alright then." Xie Chengnan walked to his side and reached out to ruffle the boy's hair. "If you've thought it through, then go. Don't cry."
"I guarantee it won't!" the boy said with a beaming smile.
Xie Chengnan slapped his head: "Alright, hurry up and go, or they'll steal all the food."
Young people are passionate and energetic, but their emotions come and go quickly.
Lin Yi and Xie Chengnan watched as he ran back into the crowd and said, "Actually, you don't want him to go to the front line, do you?"
“He’s simple-minded…” Xie Chengnan paused for a moment, “but perhaps what I thought was for his own good wasn’t what he wanted.”
"And what about you?" Lin asked.
"I?"
"You've avoided the crowds and stayed here alone—it must have been a tough experience going into battle for the first time, right? Can you tell me about it?"
The moon tonight is crescent-shaped and bright, its silvery light reaching far and wide. Lin Yi only turned her gaze away from the moon after saying this, thus missing Xie Chengnan's momentary surprise as he listened to her speak.
He rarely spoke so frankly: "It's not pleasant." Unlike Jiang Ji, he didn't have a romanticized view of the battlefield. He had his own goals and knew clearly what he had to do. So when blood splattered on his face and he ended one life after another with his own hands, he didn't back down. But when he was truly on the brink of life and death, he realized with absolute clarity that he could die, anytime, anywhere, in any corner of the world.
Lin Yi looked at him, her eyes full of seriousness.
Xie Chengnan didn't tell her what it felt like to kill someone, but instead brought up another topic: "Haven't I told you about the Marquis's mansion? Do you want to hear it?"
"I'd like to hear it," Lin paused, "if you're willing to tell me."
"There's nothing I'm unwilling about. I only recently learned about many of these things myself..."
The Yong'an Marquis's residence was not always deserted; its decline began when Xie Chengnan was six years old. His mother was from the southern border region and, under the alias Duan Ke, infiltrated Anguo on a secret mission. However, she fell in love with the Yong'an Marquis at first sight during a flower festival.
Marquis Yong'an, Xie Yanzhe, who was also his father, was already engaged to the Lin family at that time. Xie Yanzhe insisted on breaking off the engagement and wanted to marry Duan Ke. General Lin lost face and took the initiative to break off the engagement in a fit of anger.
Although Xie Yanzhe was the Marquis of Yong'an at that time, the old lady was still in charge of the Marquis's mansion. Duan Ke's identity was unclear, and he fought for a long time before finally agreeing to bring her into the mansion as a concubine. However, after a long time in the mansion, she had no children. In order to continue the family line, the old lady of the Marquis's mansion forced him to take another concubine. The concubine gave birth to a baby boy in the second year after entering the mansion, but it was later discovered that the child was mentally challenged. Because of these two unhappy marriages, the conflict between Xie Yanzhe and the old lady continued to intensify, and not long after, the old lady passed away. Xie Yanzhe finally took control of all the affairs of the Marquis's mansion. Two years later, Duan Ke gave birth to Xie Chengnan.
Because of her low-key, approachable and gentle demeanor, Duan Ke was very popular among the noble ladies. Occasionally, she would enter the palace to meet the concubines, and over time, she became acquainted with Consort Jing, who is now the Dowager Consort Jing.
"Later I learned from the Dowager Consort that she was using her position in the inner palace to gather information. My father was aware of her intentions back then, but since her actions had not yet endangered Anguo, he did not intervene..."
It wasn't until Anguo suffered a defeat in a border skirmish with the Southern Frontier that the Marquis of Yong'an became suspicious and finally began to suspect his wife.
It was later confirmed that the failure was just a misunderstanding, but what had happened could not be erased. Without that tacit understanding, the opposing identities between the two were clearly visible.
Feeling guilty, Marquis Yong'an volunteered to go to the southern border to fight the enemy. Duan Ke, worried about him, secretly followed him and eventually died in the southern border to protect Marquis Yong'an.
Marquis Yong'an suppressed the matter and Duan Ke's identity, returning to Mingzhou alone. Six-year-old Xie Chengnan was left without a mother. Marquis Yong'an, burdened by grief and wounded in the southern frontier, also passed away only three years after his return.
"During that time, rumors were rampant, and everyone in Mingzhou was talking about it. The most common rumor was that she was from the Southern Frontier and came to Mingzhou to turn my father against his will." Xie Chengnan smiled, seemingly finding it somewhat amusing. "The Xie family was already small, and after that, it fell into a deep depression. My father's other concubine, Xie Chengfeng's birth mother, seeing that she had no husband to rely on and no hope for her son, tried to commit suicide with him. Later, Xie Chengfeng was saved by the old steward, but the concubine died."
The Marquis's mansion was in complete chaos, so I simply dismissed the remaining servants, leaving only Cang Xie and Xie Chengfeng to live together.” He spoke as usual, but Lin Yi would never forget that Xie Chengnan was only nine years old at that time. Having lost his father and mother, he single-handedly supported the entire Marquis's mansion, raising his mentally challenged older brother.
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