Chapter 153 "By the way, I heard you and Yuanjiang..."
The man holding the sign was in his early thirties, and a younger woman was standing next to him, holding a hard-covered notebook.
Xiao Zhao strode over and took out a letter of introduction: "Hello comrade, we are from a border province to attend the education work symposium. This is Comrade Shu Ran, and I am Zhao Xinping, your accompanying staff."
The bespectacled man took the letter of introduction, glanced at it quickly, and immediately became enthusiastic: "Comrade Shu Ran, Comrade Zhao Xinping, you must be tired from your journey! I am Wang Jianhua from the conference organizing committee, and this is Xiao Li. The car is waiting outside; let's go and settle in first."
Xiao Li nodded to Shu Ran, her eyes filled with curiosity as she looked at her.
"Thank you for your trouble, Comrade Wang," Shu Ran said.
Wang Jianhua helped Xiao Zhao carry a bag, and Xiao Li tried to take Shu Ran's handbag, but Shu Ran politely declined. The four of them followed the flow of people toward the exit.
The exit passage is long and wide, with large posters and slogans on the walls.
The group walked out of the station gate and arrived at the square.
"This way," Wang Jianhua said, leading them towards the east side of the square. Several jeeps and a mid-sized van were parked by the roadside. Wang Jianhua opened the van's door: "Get in this one. There are a few representatives from other regions coming along too."
There were already five or six people in the car, men and women, all over forty years old, dressed in the uniforms commonly seen on cadres in various places. When Shu Ran and Xiao Zhao got in, everyone turned their attention to them.
Wang Jianhua gave a brief introduction: "These are Comrade Shu Ran and Comrade Zhao Xinping from the border provinces." He then said to Shu Ran, "These are representatives from the Northeast, North China, and Central China regions."
Shu Ran nodded in greeting and sat down with Xiao Zhao in an empty seat at the back. The car started and slowly drove away from the square.
Shu Ran looked out the window. The street was wide, with a constant flow of bicycles and few cars, mostly jeeps or sedans, with the occasional truck passing by. Pedestrians mostly walked hurriedly, dressed in clothes mainly in blue, gray, and green. The buildings along the street were mostly three or four stories high, brick and concrete structures, square and neat. The walls facing the street were covered with the marks of big-character posters, layer upon layer.
"Comrade Shu Ran is from the Xinjiang Production and Construction Corps, right?" A woman in her fifties in the front row turned around and asked.
"Yes," Shu Ran replied.
"You're young and promising," the woman smiled. "This meeting is of a very high standard, and the ministry attaches great importance to it. Conditions are harsh in the border regions, so it's not easy to achieve such results."
"It's all thanks to the hard work of everyone," Shu Ran said.
"I heard you came up with something like... the Spark Mode?" another male representative wearing a forward-facing cap interjected. "I've seen it in the materials; it's quite interesting. But, young comrade, in our line of work, having an idea isn't enough; we also need to see if it can be widely adopted."
These words had a slightly condescending tone. Xiao Zhao frowned, wanting to say something, but Shu Ran gently nudged his arm from below.
“You’re right,” Shu Ran said calmly. “That’s why we came here this time to learn from our predecessors and colleagues across the country, to see what shortcomings our exploration has and how to improve it to better suit the actual conditions of different regions.”
The representative from Northeast China paused for a moment, then burst into laughter: "Alright, young comrade, you're quite the talker. Let's exchange ideas more at the meeting!"
The others in the car laughed, and the atmosphere eased a bit. The woman glanced at Shu Ran again.
The van drove through several main streets and turned onto a relatively quiet, tree-lined avenue. Tall locust trees lined both sides of the road, their branches and leaves lush and dense. Behind the trees, one could see some courtyard walls and gates of various organizations, with guards standing at the entrances. The van stopped at the gate of one of the courtyards, and Wang Jianhua got out to speak with the guard and show his identification. The van then drove in.
The courtyard is very large, with several four- or five-story red brick buildings. The buildings are spaced far apart, and there are trees and flower beds in the open space.
"This is the Fourth Guesthouse, where all the delegates for this conference are staying," Wang Jianhua said as he led them out of the car. "The conditions are limited, so please bear with it. Comrade Shu Ran, your room is on the second floor; Xiao Li will take you there. Comrade Zhao Xinping, you're staying on the third floor. Please settle in first, wash up, and rest. Lunch will be served in the canteen at noon. At 3 p.m., please go to the conference room in Building One for the preparatory meeting to collect the conference materials and schedule."
Xiao Li picked up where Wang Jianhua left off and said to Shu Ran, "Comrade Shu Ran, please come with me."
Shu Ran nodded to Xiao Zhao and followed Xiao Li into one of the buildings. The lower half of the walls in the stairwell were painted green, while the upper half was whitewashed. The cement floor was very clean.
"This is the area where the women live," Xiao Li said as they walked. "Two people per room. Your roommate is Comrade Lin Jing from the Southwest Province, who is also an advanced representative of the education front. She arrived yesterday."
She stopped in front of room 208, took out her key, and opened the door. The room wasn't large; it contained two single beds, a desk by the window, two chairs, and a wardrobe. There was a small ensuite bathroom, but having one was already considered quite good. The window was open, and the white sheer curtains fluttered slightly in the breeze.
One bed was already made up, with a black faux leather handbag at the head of the bed. The other bed was empty, with the bedding neatly folded and placed at the foot of the bed.
"This is your bed," Xiao Li said, pointing to the empty bed. "The bedding has all been freshly washed. The thermos is on the table; you can get water in the hot water room on the first floor. The canteen is behind Building 1, a five-minute walk away. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. I live in the duty room on the first floor."
"Thank you, Comrade Li." Shu Ran placed her handbag on the table.
"Then you can rest first, I'll go now." Xiao Li closed the door and left.
Shu Ran stood in the center of the room and looked around. The environment was better than she had expected. She walked to the window and looked out. Below were cypress trees and flower beds, and in the distance, she could see the courtyard wall and the rooftops of buildings further away.
She took off her coat and hung it in the closet, then took out a towel and a toothbrush cup to the bathroom. She turned on the tap and washed her face with cold water, feeling a bit more refreshed.
Back in her room, she didn't rush to make the bed; instead, she checked the doors and windows first. The window latches were intact, and the door locks were secure. She took her notebook out of her bag and placed it under her pillow before starting to make the bed. The bedding smelled of sunshine and was fairly fluffy. After making the bed, she sat on the edge, briefly letting her mind wander. After six days and six nights of travel, the sudden stillness was a little unsettling, and she could almost hear a ringing in her ears.
Footsteps and voices echoed in the corridor; the other representatives had returned. The sounds drew closer, stopping at the door as a key was inserted into the lock.
The door opened, and a woman in her forties walked in. She was carrying an enamel basin containing towels and soap.
Upon seeing Shu Ran, she paused for a moment, then smiled and said, "You must be Comrade Shu Ran from the border region? I am Lin Jing from the Southwest Province."
"Hello, Comrade Lin Jing." Shu Ran stood up.
"Sit down, don't be shy." Lin Jing put down the basin and naturally walked to sit down by her bed, looking Shu Ran up and down. "You must have had a long journey. I came from the southwest and took a train for four days. My bones are about to fall apart."
Her tone was cheerful, with the straightforwardness characteristic of a grassroots cadre.
"It's alright, I'm getting used to it." Shu Ran sat down as well.
"It's so good to be young," Lin Jing laughed. "When I was your age, I could handle it too. I can't anymore; my back hurts after sitting for a while. By the way, have you eaten yet?"
"Not yet, they said the cafeteria will open at 12 o'clock."
"Let's go together in a bit." Lin Jing said, taking out a tin tea box from her bag and then finding two enamel mugs. "I brought some local tea. It's not anything fancy, but it'll quench your thirst. Have some water first."
Without saying a word, she filled both teacups with tea and handed one to Shu Ran.
Shu Ran thanked her and accepted the tea. The hot tea was indeed refreshing.
"I just inquired," Lin Jing lowered her voice, "This conference is quite large, with representatives from all provinces, municipalities, and autonomous regions across the country, as well as several key universities and research institutions. There must be quite a few people in total. Several key leaders from the ministry will be attending. How many of your side are coming?"
"I was the only one among the cadres who accompanied me to other meetings, but I was the only one who spoke at the formal meeting," Shu Ran said.
“Then you must be under a lot of pressure.” Lin Jing looked at her. “I heard that your ideas have attracted a lot of attention, but there are also some different opinions. We’ll probably have a lot to discuss at the preparatory meeting.”
Shu Ran's heart stirred slightly. Lin Jing's words were both a reminder and a test. She took a sip of tea and said, "Discussion is a good thing. Education itself has many possibilities. Only by listening to different opinions can we think things through more clearly."
Lin Jing nodded, not continuing the topic, and instead talked about some specific situations regarding literacy campaigns in the southwest region. Shu Ran also shared some experiences from the northwestern frontier.
The two hit it off immediately. Although Lin Jing was older than Shu Ran, he was approachable and spoke frankly. Shu Ran could sense that he was someone who had truly worked at the grassroots level.
At 11:30, the two went out to the cafeteria together. They bumped into representatives coming from other rooms in the corridor and exchanged nods. On their way downstairs, they met Xiao Zhao, who was talking to a young male representative. Seeing Shu Ran, he came over to greet her: "Comrade Shu Ran, how was your rest?"
"It's alright. This is Comrade Lin Jing from Southwest Province."
Xiao Zhao and Lin Jing introduced themselves to each other. The three of them walked towards the cafeteria together. On the way, Xiao Zhao whispered to Shu Ran, "I just found out that this conference has been divided into several groups, possibly by region or by topic. Since there are fewer of us, we might be assigned to the Northwest group."
The canteen was a single-story building, quite spacious, with dozens of round tables. Many delegates were already queuing for their meals. The food was a standard working meal: rice and steamed buns as the staple, and dishes included braised cabbage with vermicelli, stir-fried shredded potatoes, and tomato and egg soup. Each person also received a small dish of pickled vegetables. The portions were generous.
Shu Ran, Lin Jing, Xiao Zhao, and two other representatives they didn't recognize sat at a table. During the meal, everyone briefly introduced themselves; they were all education officials or outstanding teachers from different provinces. The conversation naturally revolved around the conference.
"I heard that this time they're going to discuss the overall plan for the next phase of the national literacy campaign," said a male representative wearing glasses. "There might also be new guiding documents to be issued."
“There should have been a unified plan a long time ago,” another female representative chimed in. “Right now, each region is doing its own thing, with no uniform standards, which is a waste of resources.”
“Even with unification, local differences must be taken into account,” Lin Jing said. “Can the situation be the same for our mountainous southwest region and your plains of East China?”
"That's why there needs to be categorized guidance..."
Shu Ran ate her meal quietly, listening to their discussion. She could sense that each person represented a set of local experiences and working logic, and each had their own demands and concerns. This meeting was less about listening to reports and more about a game of strategy.
After lunch, back in her room, Lin Jing said she wanted to take a nap. Shu Ran wasn't sleepy, so she took out her notebook and jotted down a few notes about what she had seen and heard that morning, as well as the key points of her conversation with Lin Jing.
At 2:50 PM, she and Lin Jing went out together to the conference room in Building 1. Xiao Zhao was already waiting downstairs.
The conference room could accommodate over a hundred people. Long tables and microphones were placed at the front, and rows of chairs were at the back. Many people had already arrived, sitting and chatting in small groups. Wang Jianhua and Xiao Li were distributing materials at the door, giving each person a manila envelope.
Shu Ran collected the materials and sat down with Lin Jing in a seat near the middle. The document bag contained the meeting schedule, a list of attendees, several background documents, a blank notebook, and two pencils.
She first checked the schedule. The conference lasted five days: the first day was the opening ceremony and leaders' reports, the second day was group discussions, the third day was the plenary session for presentations, the fourth day was more group discussions and a summary, and the fifth day was the closing ceremony. The schedule was very full.
The list of attendees was quite thick, and she quickly skimmed through it. She saw the names of many leaders, as well as scholars from well-known normal universities and educational research institutions. At the end of another list of attending leaders, she saw an unfamiliar department name and a leader surnamed Zhou, whose position was listed as "Central Security Department."
The conference room filled up and became increasingly noisy. Shu Ran saw Wang Jianhua leading several leaders to sit in the front row. One of them, with gray hair, she recognized as Vice Minister Sun, the top official in the education sector, whom she had seen in a photo before. There were a few others she didn't recognize, but judging from their demeanor, they were likely leaders from the ministry.
At 3:00 PM sharp, a middle-aged cadre walked to the microphone in the front row and tapped it: "Comrades, please be quiet. The preparatory meeting for the National Education Work Symposium is now beginning."
The venue gradually quieted down.
"First of all, on behalf of the organizing committee, I would like to welcome all the delegates to Beijing..."
Although Shu Ran was listening, her attention was also observing the meeting room. The leaders in the front row were exchanging hushed conversations, while representatives from various regions were looking down at their materials or whispering with their neighbors.
The speech lasted about twenty minutes. Then there was a free discussion period, during which the organizing committee hoped delegates would offer suggestions on the meeting arrangements. Several delegates raised their hands to speak; some asked about the specific group assignments, some inquired about post-meeting tours, and some raised questions about certain statements in the materials. The organizing committee responded to each question.
Shu Ran sat quietly, her gaze sweeping across the venue. In the back row, she saw the representatives from her car.
As the free exchange was about to end, Vice Minister Sun, who was in the front row, suddenly took the microphone and said, "I'd like to add a couple of points."
The room immediately fell silent.
"For this meeting, we have specially invited some comrades from the grassroots level who have made innovative explorations and outstanding achievements in education..." He called out the names of five or six people. Shu Ran sensed the whispers that began to circulate around her.
"We hope that this meeting will not only convey the spirit of the meeting and assign tasks, but also serve as a platform for exchange," Vice Minister Sun continued. "Comrades at the grassroots level understand the actual situation best. Your experience, the difficulties you have encountered, and your thoughts are crucial to our policy-making and work promotion. Therefore, I urge all representatives, especially those from the grassroots, to speak freely and openly. What we want to hear is the truth and the facts."
Applause erupted in the hall. Shu Ran clapped along with her.
The preparatory meeting ended, and the delegates left one after another. Shu Ran and Lin Jing walked out with the crowd. At the door, Wang Jianhua called out to her, "Comrade Shu Ran, please wait."
Shu Ran stopped. Wang Jianhua walked over and said in a low voice, "Vice Minister Sun would like to have a brief chat with you. Is now a convenient time?"
Shu Ran's heart skipped a beat, and she nodded: "Convenient."
"plz follow me."
Wang Jianhua led her to a small meeting room on the side of the conference room. Lin Jing glanced at Shu Ran, signaling her not to be nervous, and then left with Xiao Zhao.
Vice Minister Sun was talking to Minister Zhou. When Shu Ran entered, Vice Minister Sun stood up with a smile: "Comrade Shu Ran, come, have a seat."
Minister Zhou nodded to Shu Ran, and the sharpness in his eyes reminded her of Chen Yuanjiang when they first met.
"Minister Sun, Minister Zhou," Shu Ran greeted politely.
"This is Minister Zhou from the Central Security Department," Vice Minister Sun introduced. "Minister Zhou is very concerned about border work and came here today specifically to listen to his thoughts."
Minister Zhou nodded to Shu Ran. "Comrade Shu Ran, hello. Please sit down, don't be shy."
The name of the Central Security Department immediately reminded her of Chen Yuanjiang's job. She remained expressionless and sat down on the empty single sofa as instructed.
"Don't be nervous, we're just chatting," Vice Minister Sun said in a friendly tone. "Was the ride in the car alright? Are you settling into your accommodation?"
"Everything is fine, thank you for your concern, leader."
“I’ve read your document,” Vice Minister Sun said, getting to the point. “Minister Zhou has also read the summary. The ideas are very clear, and the approach is solid. In particular, your point about ‘starting with survival education’ is very insightful, and the positioning is very accurate.”
"It was an idea forced out by the realities at the grassroots level," Shu Ran said. "The masses are the most pragmatic; if they don't see the practical benefits, they won't be willing to learn it, nor will they be able to absorb it."
“Yes, the people are the most practical,” Vice Minister Sun remarked. “Therefore, when we conduct education, we cannot detach ourselves from the actual needs of the people. Your ‘Spark’ model is on the right track.”
Minister Zhou then spoke up, asking directly: "Comrade Shu Ran, you mentioned in your materials that many of your seed teachers are employees of the Xinjiang Production and Construction Corps or local youths. After they have learned the culture and taught others, won't they also have the idea of leaving? The conditions in the border areas are harsh, and it's difficult to retain people."
This question immediately piqued Shu Ran's interest.
“Minister Zhou, we have indeed encountered and considered this issue.” She answered cautiously, “Retaining staff is difficult, and simply emphasizing dedication is not enough. Our approach is two-pronged. On the one hand, we ensure these teachers receive genuine respect and a sense of value in their teaching. On the other hand, we also strive to secure some very practical incentives. More importantly,” she paused to organize her thoughts, “we try to more closely link their personal growth with the development of the frontier. Making them feel a sense of accomplishment and belonging is sometimes more effective in retaining staff than simple material benefits.”
She gave some examples, and Minister Zhou listened attentively, tapping his fingers lightly on the armrest of the sofa: "Combining personal development with the needs of the frontier... this is a very good idea. The stability and development of the frontier ultimately depend on the people living there, especially the younger generation, who sincerely stay and build it. If education can play such a connecting role, then it is more than just teaching people to read and write."
These words carried a deeper meaning. Shu Ran vaguely sensed that Minister Zhou's focus seemed to extend beyond the realm of simple education.
Vice Minister Sun continued, “Yes, education in the border regions has a special significance. It is both a matter of people’s livelihood and a national policy. Comrade Shu Ran, you may feel this more deeply at the grassroots level. For the long-term stability of the border regions, it is not enough to rely solely on border guards standing watch; it also requires people’s peace of mind, cultural identity, and hope for the future. The spark you have ignited is not only a lamp of knowledge, but perhaps also a lamp of stability for people’s hearts.”
Minister Zhou nodded, his gaze falling on Shu Ran again, a deeper meaning in his eyes: "I heard that Comrade Shu Ran, in the border region, not only ran education programs, but also helped handle some emergencies? And that she had a good relationship with the local people, including ethnic minorities?"
Shu Ran felt a chill run down her spine. Minister Zhou clearly knew a lot, possibly including her involvement in dealing with enemy sabotage and mediating conflicts in pastoral areas. These were things that, in principle, shouldn't be something such a high-ranking leader needed to know in detail.
"It's all for work, and it also happened by chance." Shu Ran carefully chose her words. "At the grassroots level, in the border areas, many things are inseparable. Teaching children to read requires dealing with parents; if parents have difficulties, we help them if we can. The more we interact, the more we understand each other, and some tasks become easier to carry out."
Minister Zhou smiled and said, "It seems that Comrade Shu Ran is not only a good teacher, but also has a knack for working with the masses." He then changed the subject casually, "By the way, I heard that you and that kid from Yuanjiang work together quite well?"
Shu Ran was startled. She hadn't expected Minister Zhou to bring up Chen Yuanjiang in this way at this moment. She instantly understood—this Minister Zhou not only knew Chen Yuanjiang, but was very likely to have a close relationship with that old leader.
She tried to make her tone sound natural and calm: "Comrade Chen Yuanjiang was very supportive of education when he was working in the border region. He was familiar with the local situation and gave us a lot of help in communication, coordination, and security. We are all very grateful to him."
Her answer was watertight, completely limiting it to the scope of working relationships.
Minister Zhou and Vice Minister Sun exchanged a glance, a knowing look in their eyes. Vice Minister Sun smiled and said, “Comrade Yuanjiang is an outstanding cadre who has grown up in the border region. He is principled, has grassroots experience, and, most importantly, has a deep affection for the border region. The ministry and relevant departments value him highly and are considering giving him more responsibilities.”
Minister Zhou looked at Shu Ran and said solemnly, "Comrade Shu Ran, I've called you here today for two reasons. First, I'm genuinely interested in and admire your and your comrades' explorations in education. Second, I'd like to hear your insights as an education expert who has been working on the frontier for so long. What are your deeper views on the future of the frontier, especially the role that education and culture should play in its long-term stability and development? To be frank, at the national level, we are considering a larger overall plan, which is not just about military border defense, but also a systematic strategy encompassing education to strengthen the border, cultural integration to integrate the border, and economic development to revitalize the border. Education is the most fundamental and cutting-edge link in this strategy."
He spoke frankly: "To implement this strategy, we need people who understand the frontier, have feelings for it, and can take root there; who also have vision, know how to do things, and can innovate; and who also have like-minded partners to form a cohesive force. Comrade Yuanjiang has his advantages in this regard, and you, Comrade Shuran, your practice and experience, your ideas and courage, have shown us another indispensable possibility. The cooperation between the two of you in the frontier has already proven a lot."
The words had been spoken so clearly that this was no ordinary expression of concern from the leadership. The leaders not only recognized her work abilities but also considered her and Chen Yuanjiang as a potential working team.
Shu Ran took a deep breath, looked up again, and said with a firm expression, "Thank you for your trust and appreciation, leaders. I am just an ordinary grassroots educator who has done what I could. If the organization believes that Comrade Chen Yuanjiang and I can contribute to this process, we will do our best."
Minister Zhou nodded in satisfaction and leaned back on the sofa: "Very good. The specific policies and arrangements will be clarified gradually in the future. For now, you should focus on making this meeting a success. This is also to lay the foundation and create public opinion for future work."
"I understand, Minister Zhou, Minister Sun."
"Alright, I won't take up too much of your time." Vice Minister Sun stood up. "You must be tired from the journey. Get some rest tonight."
"Thank you, Minister Sun, Minister Zhou, and Director Liao."
Shu Ran left the reception room and returned to the outside of the main building, her back damp with a thin layer of sweat. The conversation she had just had was incredibly information-rich; she needed time to process it.
Xiao Zhao was waiting for her not far away. When she came out, he quickly walked over with concern on his face: "Comrade Shu Ran, are you alright?"
Shu Ran shook his head, giving him a reassuring smile: "It's nothing. The leader just asked a few more questions about the situation on the frontier. Go back now."
The two walked back. Xiao Zhao hesitated for a moment, but finally couldn't help but whisper, "Comrade Shu Ran, I just saw that leader who came out with Vice Minister Sun. He had a really strong presence... He must be an even higher-ranking leader, right?"
"Yes, it's a leader who cares about border work." Shu Ran vaguely replied, "Officer Zhao, please don't mention to anyone that I was called in for a talk just now."
Xiao Zhao immediately became serious: "I understand, Comrade Shu Ran, don't worry."
Back in the room, Lin Jing was doing laundry. Seeing Shu Ran return, she shook the water off her hands: "Finished talking? Judging from your expression, you had a pretty deep conversation?"
Shu Ran sat down on the edge of the bed and rubbed her temples: "Hmm, the leader asked very detailed questions and is very concerned about education in the border areas."
Lin Jing was a smart woman. She could tell that Shu Ran didn't want to talk about it anymore, so she didn't press the matter. Instead, she said, "It's a good thing that the leaders are paying attention. But the pressure is also great. Get some rest."
During dinner, Shu Ran seemed somewhat silent. Minister Zhou's words kept echoing in her mind, and she suddenly understood the reason for Chen Yuanjiang's disappearance.
During their walk after dinner, she said to Lin Jing, "Sister Lin, what do you think is the greatest significance of our work in grassroots education?"
Lin Jing thought for a moment and said, "On a small scale, it's about helping a few children and adults learn more words and live a more sensible life. On a larger scale... I can't really say. But I always feel that our persistence in doing this in poor and difficult places is not just about teaching, but also has some other significance. Just like you said, it gives people peace of mind."
"It calms the mind..." Shu Ran repeated the phrase, gazing at the night sky, recalling the starry sky she had seen at the livestock company.
"Missing home?" Lin Jing asked.
Shu Ran snapped out of her reverie and smiled, "A little. I miss the frontier."
“That’s normal. I wasn’t used to it for the first few days after I arrived,” Lin Jing said. “The capital is nice, big, and lively, but it doesn’t feel like my own place. I wanted to go back after a few days.”
The two walked in silence for a while. When they were almost at the dormitory building, Lin Jing suddenly said, "Xiao Shu, you'll be giving a speech tomorrow. If someone asks you a tricky question, don't panic. If you really can't answer it, just say that the question needs further research and you'll give a detailed report after the meeting. Don't let anyone lead you by the nose."
This is advice from someone who's been there. Shu Ran nodded: "Thank you, Sister Lin, I'll remember that."
The two returned to their room. After washing up, Shu Ran leaned against the headboard and reviewed her speech one last time. She already knew the content by heart, but reading it again made her feel more at ease. Around ten o'clock, Lin Jing also finished washing up and turned off the lights.
In the darkness, Shu Ran lay with her eyes open. Everything that had happened in the past few days flashed through her mind, finally settling down.
She knew what she had to do, but the outcome was beyond her complete control. Understanding this brought her peace. Sleepiness gradually crept in.
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