Chapter 19
This incident had a significant impact on her.
After that, fewer people discussed it, but she started to challenge herself.
She seems to have messed up all her relationships again.
Family relationships, friendships with peers, interactions with classmates...
Everything seemed exactly as she had imagined when she first arrived; her presence was like a gray cloud blocking the morning sun.
She had just finished the last problem when her gaze was drawn to the rain and mist outside the window. Unbeknownst to her, it had started to rain heavily outside, and the air was filled with the damp smell of rain. A cool breeze entered her nostrils, and she couldn't help but wrap her clothes tighter around herself.
Outside, the sky was overcast.
On Tuesday afternoon, the last period was changed to self-study, and all the teachers went to grade papers, leaving only class monitor Lin You on the podium.
Chen Zhoujing had just finished discussing the topic with Lin You when he returned and saw Jian Sheng sitting in her seat, staring blankly out the window. He followed her gaze and saw the raindrops on the glass window and the drizzling rain outside.
He looked away and waved the test paper in front of her: "What are you daydreaming about?"
Jian Sheng snapped out of her daze, looked up, and saw Chen Zhoujing standing next to her, holding a test paper in his hand.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
Chen Zhoujing placed the test paper on her desk: "I have written all the explanations and steps next to the questions. I have looked at your weekly test paper from last week. You can try to take a look at this set of papers. The difficulty is a bit higher than average. You can ask me if you don't understand anything."
Jian Sheng looked at the completed test paper, nodded, and took it, saying, "Thank you."
Chen Zhou smiled at her and returned to his seat.
He seemed completely unaffected by the fight last week, continuing to do as he pleased. Jian Sheng held the test paper, looking at the explanations on it. The wild and unrestrained handwriting was deliberately shrunk to a very small and neat size, and each step corresponded to a specific question, clearly written with horizontal lines and arrows.
She looked at the test paper from beginning to end, until get out of class ended and almost everyone in the class had left.
"Chen Zhoujing, are you leaving or not?" He Shang kicked his chair. "Why are you staring at that girl's back? Isn't one self-reflection enough?"
Chen Zhou glanced back at him but ignored him.
"Are you coming or not? Xu Xiao has already booked a private room, and the people working downstairs are here too." He Shang nudged his shoulder.
"I'm not going." Chen Zhoujing coldly refused him.
"Why? The results will be out tomorrow! I finally got out of school early today, it's a day for a final showdown! Otherwise, I'll be dead tomorrow, beaten to death by my dad!!!" He Shang wiped his face, revealing a pained expression.
Chen Zhou clicked his tongue in surprise: "No, we'll go this weekend. Ms. Xu is home recently."
He Shang's pleading tone instantly turned into shock: "Holy crap, your mom's living in your house?"
"Hmm," Chen Zhoujing replied calmly.
"Then...then Brother Jing will have to go out and find a place to live." He Shang swallowed hard, and suddenly the image of that stern aunt's face flashed through his mind, which was frightening.
Last time at the hospital, Chen Zhoujing's mother almost beat Li Jing black and blue, and he didn't fight back. If He Shang hadn't intervened, those sharp, long fingernails would have pierced Li Jing's eyes. He still gets chills thinking about it now.
“He’s at school, he hasn’t gone back yet.” Chen Zhou’s surprised gaze shifted from Jian Sheng’s back. “Aren’t you going? Someone’s waiting for you outside.”
He Shang turned his head: "Oh my god, I'm coming right away."
He called out to the person at the door and patted Chen Zhoujing on the shoulder: "It's okay, your mother is a busy person, she probably won't stay for more than a few days, I'll go first."
After He Shang left, most of the students in the class followed suit, and Chen Zhoujing's gaze remained fixed on Jian Sheng's retreating figure.
In the past, she would turn her head and glare at him if he looked at her for too long, but these past two days she seemed to be in a low mood and had been immersed in her own world.
She arrives late in the morning, doesn't eat lunch, and won't accept bread even when offered to her. She always waits until everyone else has left before going home in the evening.
He rubbed the back of his neck, waited a while, and when he saw her get up, he immediately stood up.
She quietly packed her things, and he stood beside her with his already packed schoolbag, waiting for her.
After she finished, she lowered her head and walked towards the back door without even glancing at him...
Chen Zhoujing had no choice but to follow her slowly. She walked slowly, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, and her head was always hanging down, as if she was thinking about something.
Jian Sheng knew that Chen Zhoujing had been following her for several days, ever since he returned.
Feeling helpless, she took a few steps and stopped under the sign for Chenfu Road. The light was still red on the other side of the road. She held the strap of her schoolbag in one hand and gripped the handle of her umbrella in the other. She slowly turned around and looked up at him.
She saw Chen Zhoujing holding an umbrella, and her steps suddenly stopped. She didn't say anything, but he grinned at her.
Jian sighed, "Why are you always following me?"
"I..." He didn't know either.
The rain seemed to have intensified considerably, blowing in from the side with the wind, brushing past her face, feeling cool.
The emotions that had been building up in Jian Sheng's chest erupted like a storm.
"You think I'm aloof, don't talk, and have never seen anyone like me before, always ignoring you, so you're excited, you find it novel, and that's fun, right?"
"Do you also think that someone like me is flawed in every way? Cold-blooded, rude, selfish, and has a bad temper... Do you also think that I am an oddball?"
Jian Sheng seemed to have used up all her strength to say these words, and after she finished speaking, her shoulders slumped.
Chen Zhou's expression was blank, with a faint disbelief in his eyes.
Jian Sheng didn't have time to listen to his response; she considered herself to be that kind of cold-blooded person.
She turned around, and just then the green light came on. She lifted her foot and walked into the rain.
The figure behind her continued to follow, her eyes brimming with tears. She walked for a long time before finally stopping. Reaching the entrance of the Linglong Huayuan residential complex, she turned around, her eyes red, and said, "I don't need your charity. I'm all alone. You all barged into my world so abruptly, making me uncomfortable. I can't respond..."
Chen Zhoujing remained silent. He watched her lonely figure standing in the rain through the curtain of rain, her whole being as gloomy as the weather above.
She continued, "I don't need you to get punished because of me, and I don't need you all to come up to me, tolerate me, or pull me into a circle."
"I can't fit in. I'm an ingrate, I'm just ungrateful." She looked up. "Don't worry about me, Chen Zhoujing, you're all very kind..."
It's just that I'm not good enough...
Didi.
A car horn sounded.
"Holy crap!" Chen Zhou exclaimed in surprise.
Just as she finished speaking, an electric scooter suddenly came from the side, grazing her body as it prepared to pass. Chen Zhou suddenly stepped forward, grabbed her arm, and pulled her to his side.
Jian Sheng's umbrella fell to the ground, and she spun around before regaining her balance.
"Are you alright?" Chen Zhou asked, shielding her with the umbrella.
Jian Sheng pulled her arm back and took a step back. The uncomfortable feeling surged up again, and she hated her physical reaction.
She shook her head and hid the arm that had just been wiped behind her back.
The rain poured down on her wounds from behind, and the pain calmed her down considerably.
Chen Zhou noticed her and looked at her as she hid her hand: "What happened to your hand?"
"Did you just rub it?" he asked anxiously.
"Take a look at it for me."
Jian Sheng subconsciously took another step back.
"Damn it, I'm not going to get close to you, okay? Check if you're hurt." Chen Zhou was annoyed. He moved the umbrella in front of her and stood still.
She didn't speak, and he suppressed his anger: "I fucking... I'm not concerned about you, I just feel bad for treating you like a guy before and always saying the wrong things to you. I'm conflicted inside, okay?"
"No one needs you to cater to anyone. Everyone is studying in the same class, and it's inevitable that there will be relationships and conflicts, but none of that is a reason for you to blame yourself so much..."
There was still no response from Jian Sheng.
He gritted his teeth and said, word by word, "If I can't persuade you, I won't touch you. If the injury is left untreated for a long time, it will fester."
"Since we're classmates and even from the same neighborhood, can you show me your hand now?" Chen Zhoujing said.
Jian Sheng sensed his anger, and tears involuntarily streamed down her face.
She finally stretched out her hands, and there was blood seeping from the backs of her hands, a large cut, probably from being grazed by the electric scooter that had just passed by.
Chen Zhou was panting, his brow throbbing: "Switch the umbrella to your left hand and wait for me at the gate. I'll be right back."
After saying that, he shoved the umbrella into her left hand and ran off, disappearing without a trace.
Jian Sheng's chest heaved more and more violently, and her suppressed emotions spread instantly. She looked at his back and kept crying.
She slowly walked to the gatekeeper's large umbrella and waited for him.
She only stopped crying when he returned.
He was soaking wet, his eyes dark and brooding, and beckoned to her: "Come in first."
There is a large welcoming path at the entrance, which is sheltered from the rain.
Chen Zhoujing opened his schoolbag, took out a dry physics elective book, and placed it on the steps of the property management office at the entrance. He said, "Sit down, it's not dirty."
His voice was somewhat deep. He sat quietly on the steps, covering his face with his hands.
Chen Zhou sighed inwardly. He raised his hand and brushed his wet bangs back to reveal his forehead. Then, he took out iodine and cotton swabs from the medicine bag he had bought.
He glanced at her depressed state and softened his temper: "I'll open it, you can disinfect it yourself."
"May I?"
Jian Sheng still covered her face, but nodded her head slightly a few times.
Seeing that she agreed, Chen Zhoujing unscrewed the bottle cap, removed the sealing gasket, took a cotton swab, dipped it in the contents, and handed it to her: "Here you go, take this and apply it to the wound."
Jian Sheng listened to his words and wiped the injured area.
Chen Zhoujing then handed the iodine to her: "Give me the cotton swabs."
Jian Sheng placed the cotton swab in front of him, poured a little onto the swab, and then asked her to continue wiping.
After she finished, he took out a box of band-aids from the bag, tore open the packaging, took out one, and handed it to her.
He watched her head hang low the whole time and noticed that she didn't show any reaction to the pain when she was cleaning her wounds, as if she wasn't the one who was injured.
Including the last time she fainted in the infirmary, her body felt like it wasn't hers, it was just occupying someone else's space.
This attitude of indifference towards him made him feel inexplicably stifled.
After she finished dealing with it, Chen Zhoujing cleaned up the trash on the ground, put down his backpack, and slowly sat down beside her, keeping her company as she stared blankly.
"Has it slowed down?" Chen Zhou asked in surprise.
"Mmm." Jian Sheng lowered her hands from her face, her voice nasal in response.
Chen Zhou opened his eyes slightly and turned to look at her, but she had been looking down and hadn't noticed his face yet.
"You cried?" he asked cautiously.
The rain was so loud that he couldn't hear her sobbing.
"No." Jian Sheng turned her head away, not looking at him.
“No, you didn’t cry, so you sounded like you were crying,” Chen Zhou said in surprise.
"No, don't worry about me." Jian sniffed.
"Fine, fine, I won't bother with you anymore. If I bother with you again, I'll be a dog." Chen Zhou frowned and turned his head back.
After a long silence, Jian Sheng suddenly said, "Last time you said that if I touched you again, I'd be a dog."
Chen Zhou was taken aback for a moment, then laughed: "You can even joke."
"No, that's true," came the brief reply.
"Okay, okay, I'm a dog, a puppy, a stupid dog, alright?" Chen Zhoujing said good-naturedly.
Jian Sheng didn't respond, but Chen Zhoujing could tell that her emotions had calmed down a lot, and the atmosphere between the two of them was no longer as tense as before.
He braced his arms on the steps behind him and half-reclined to her side.
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