Chapter 52
Jian Sheng raised her hand, which trembled slightly, and took out the two boxes.
I knelt down and opened the white bag; inside was a brand new cell phone.
She touched it a few times, pressed the power button, and then put it aside.
What's even more appealing than the phone is the metal box.
It contains the things that Zhou Yilian kept before her death.
Upon opening the lid, a letter came into view; the envelope's color had faded, and one corner was folded up.
She pressed down on the creases, but couldn't smooth them out no matter what she did. Only when tears fell onto the pale yellow paper, staining it dark, did she stop and look at the words on the paper.
It says on it:
A letter to my daughter, Jian Sheng.
Zhou Yilian's handwriting is small and delicate, with just the right spacing between each character. It is upright yet gentle and reserved, just like her inner self.
Jian Sheng's deliberately neat handwriting is mostly learned from her, but he can't replicate even a trace of her gentleness.
There were papers under the letters, some folded, some torn and pieced together with tape, a scattered stack.
She stared at the paper below for a long time, her fingers tracing the raised, dried paint.
Then she took them out and looked at them one by one.
Recalling childhood one by one, frame by frame, uncovering the experiences of having Zhou Yilian.
And the past when I had dreams.
Every single page of this stack, from the first time the pen was put down to the last, has been preserved.
However, unlike her previous passion, she now only has the lingering beauty of the past when she approaches painting. Although she still has passion, it has faded considerably.
I only started painting because I was inspired by Chen Zhoujing's enthusiasm.
She almost never confronts or even acknowledges her past.
She never expected that the aloof and casual woman would leave her a letter.
She will cherish her childhood dreams.
After death, she will suddenly feel the emotional connection between them.
Jian Sheng's empty, numb eyes rippled with immense emotion upon seeing these paintings from his youth.
The faded color and texture of the paper repeatedly told her that it was all in the past.
But the vibrant and beautiful colors were also pulling her back.
She clearly forgot.
Even though many years have passed, and Zhou Yilian in my memory was a cold-hearted person who would never show her any warmth.
Clearly.....
Over the years, she had thought about it and even figured it out, so she wouldn't blame her. She just regretted her past foolishness in not realizing it sooner.
In her memory, Zhou Yilian only smiled at her when she came to school to deliver meals to her after she became pregnant, supporting her back.
And then there was the smile he wore in the pool of blood at the very last moment before he died.
Using these two memories and some details, she dissected the past and searched for her existence in the minutiae.
So when I opened the metal box, it was both unexpected and made sense.
Jian Sheng raised the back of her hand to wipe away the tears that had fallen, and opened the envelope.
There are only three lines of text.
These three lines of text appear to be pieced together, with many scratches, and judging from their distorted shape, they were written with trembling hands.
First line:
I had no choice back then, I don't ask for forgiveness, I just hope you can move on from those memories.
Second line:
Having you is my most precious gift, as I don't have much time left in this world. I hope you can maintain your enthusiasm for life.
Third line:
You must live well and rely on yourself.
Jian Sheng was already slumped on the ground, leaning against the bedpost at the foot of the bed. The tremors ran through his entire body, causing the iron bed behind him to shake and creak incessantly.
It was so cold that she hugged her legs tightly.
The overhead light fell on her lonely, cold hair, and her eyes, beneath her long eyelashes, were red and swollen.
After a long silence, she lowered her head, pressed it against her knees, and began to sob.
The habitual neglect, under the guise of indifference, occurred only once, yet it stirred up the guilt she could have kept hidden forever.
She didn't finish packing her things until midnight, and then she was ready to go out to wash up.
The door was just opened a crack, and the light from outside slanted into the white wall inside the window.
She stopped sobbing, quietly opened the door, and went out.
The recliner in the corner of the living room was half-hidden, and Jian Sheng could see Ye Hua's legs, causing her to gasp for breath.
The tremor in my chest hadn't subsided when a wave of bitterness surged up again.
As she stepped unsteadily into the living room, Ye Hua stopped fanning herself and looked at her with half-closed eyes.
"Aren't you going to sleep?" she said in a heavy, hoarse voice.
Jian Sheng lowered his bloodshot eyes, shook his head, and whispered, "Soon."
Her voice was hoarse from crying, and she instinctively coughed to cover it up.
But Ye Hua caught it and snorted, "What's the use of crying?"
"It even hurt my eyes." She continued fanning herself.
As Jian Sheng listened to her tone, tears welled up in her eyes again, but she managed to hold them back.
With a sobbing voice, Zhang said, "I'll go to sleep right away."
Just as she was about to turn around, Ye Hua called out to her again: "Come here."
Jian Sheng paused for a moment, then obediently walked over and stood beside her.
Ye Hua raised her palm-leaf fan and pointed to the coffee table, then looked over in a low voice.
It is a bank card.
Just as I was wondering, Ye Hua slowly said, "There's money inside that your mother worked hard to save before she died, money she left for you. I got it back from your father."
She sighed, "I took half, I'll keep the rest for you..."
"Your mother told me before she died that she wanted to leave it to you to paint. I looked into it and asked Zhong Mei. She introduced you to a teacher. You can go see him when you want."
After she finished speaking, she turned her head away as if she had completed a task.
After a moment of silence, she added, "Your dad can't control you now, so it's up to you how you handle it."
Jian Sheng's tears still fell, twitching silently.
Ye Hua waved her hand: "Alright, you should go to sleep. It's almost Chinese New Year. I'll ask Qingyao to take you to the mall in a couple of days to pick out some new clothes."
She spoke several more words before finally getting rid of Jian Sheng, who was crying and unable to speak.
Once the outlet for emotions is opened, they endlessly seep into the brain, making it impossible to think.
I thought that being riddled with wounds had made her numb, but in fact, human emotions are complex and unpredictable.
This winter will be a winter of both happiness and hidden guilt for her.
Happiness comes from things that haven't been favored, and from cold, rainy days free from scolding or beatings.
Some of her experiences included spending the Lunar New Year with family and friends, and the hope of rekindling her dreams.
The moment she stood in the studio again and picked up a brush, all her buried memories were rekindled.
However, the teacher still praised her for her talent, even though she herself felt somewhat unfamiliar with it.
Even after leaving the institution, her heart was still pounding.
It wasn't until Jian Qingyao patted her on the shoulder that she said, "What are you daydreaming about? I've been waiting for you for over an hour."
Jian Sheng snapped out of her daze and said, "I'm sorry."
Jian Qingyao clicked his tongue and asked nonchalantly, "What did the teacher say?"
She smiled, her mood brightening: "Not bad!"
"Oh, so that's pretty awesome." Jian Qingyao said smugly. "You're quite something."
Jian Sheng lowered her eyes in embarrassment.
Seeing this, Jian Qingyao patted her on the back: "Always hold your head high and stand tall no matter what you do!"
"Damn it, we don't owe the world anything."
"Why are you so timid? If you can do it, you can do it; if you can't, you can't."
...Jian Sheng straightened up instantly after bending over.
She turned her head and glared at Jian Qingyao, then awkwardly said, "Oh."
That makes a lot of sense.
"Come on, let's go shopping for clothes." He chuckled.
Jian Sheng sighed and said, "Go home."
Jian Qingyao didn't speak, but looked at her impatiently: "Is someone always telling you not to take advantage of others?"
When he suddenly said that, Jian Sheng was stunned, his expression one of astonishment.
Jian Qingyao understood, and he was furious: "If you're always afraid of bothering others, you're just waiting to be killed by them."
"Come on, I'm going to buy it for you, and I'll keep your phone too!"
"Shove it back to me, or I'll hit you." Jian Qingyao sneered and glared.
Jian pursed her lips and said, "It's terrifying."
"You still say I'm fierce?" he retorted, displeased. "How dare you say that to me? Big sister?"
"Look at that arrogant expression on your face. How dare you say I'm fierce?"
He clicked his tongue: "Is that the kind of look you give me?"
Jian Sheng wanted to deny it, but the next second Jian Qingyao got a response.
"Jian Sheng?" A gentle voice sounded from behind the two.
In the brief moment he turned his head, Jian Qingyao clearly saw Jian Sheng's facial expression change from gloomy to joyful.
"Damn it!" he muttered, holding his breath, before shutting up as the girl approached.
Jian Sheng was pleasantly surprised: "Lin You, what are you doing here?"
"Ahhh, long time no see!" Lin You stepped forward and grabbed her. "I'm taking my cousin shopping for clothes, what about you?"
Her gaze lingered on Jian Qingyao.
Jian Qingyao's sour face reappeared, as if it were etched into his very bones, giving everyone an expression that said, "I'm the most awesome person."
Jian Sheng was speechless, but couldn't help tugging at his sleeve. Then, she explained to Lin You, "He's my cousin."
"Jian Qingyao," she added.
Lin You calmly replied, "Hello."
Jian Qingyao was amused by the pain in his arm, but he calmed down and asked, "What's your name?"
Jian Sheng glanced at him sideways: "Didn't I just call her? Didn't you hear me?"
"Hey, I'm telling you, you..." His temper flared up again.
Just as Jian Sheng was about to retort, she felt her left arm being pulled. Lin You had casually stepped in front of her and was already introducing herself.
She looked at her hair, which fell gently over her shoulders, and spoke in a tone that was both gentle and powerful.
Without realizing it, Jian Sheng took her hand and stood beside her.
Jian Qingyao's brows furrowed: "Are you leaving or not?"
Seeing his urging, Jian hesitated, then saw Lin You turn his head, his face showing worry.
Jian Sheng raised an eyebrow and asked, "Are you in such a hurry?"
Lin You said, "No rush, come with me?"
Jian Qingyao crossed his arms, took a step back while holding his phone, and felt like an outsider.
Jian Sheng and Lin You chatted for a few minutes before saying goodbye.
"Let's get together in a couple of days. I've already talked to them and we'll get in touch. I'll come find you then." After saying that, Lin You waved to her and walked towards the down jacket shop across the street.
Jian Sheng hummed in agreement and raised her hand, her eyes full of smiles.
Jian Qingyao had never seen Jian Sheng with such a good temper, nor had he ever seen Jian Sheng laugh so happily, and he was momentarily annoyed.
Staring at her smiling face, he suddenly asked, "Am I really that fierce?"
She simply said "Ah," then turned to meet his somber expression.
Um... she hadn't figured out how to start the conversation, so Jian Qingyao changed the subject: "You two are meeting in a couple of days?"
Jian Sheng nodded and said, "Yes."
"How the hell are we supposed to contact you? You're stupid..." He took a deep breath. "You're dumb. Go back and get your phone and SIM card. If you don't know how, I'll teach you!"
"If you argue again, I'll throw you into the sea to feed the fish!"
Jian Sheng was startled by these words, his face turned pale, and he turned and left.
"Hey!" Jian Qingyao followed, tugging at her sleeve. "Are you a little... why are you taking this so seriously?"
"I was just kidding."
"Who knows?" Jian Sheng pulled her hand away and looked at Jian Qingyao, who looked anxious. "Are we still going to buy it or not?"
"Buy it!" Jian Qingyao snorted, her voice much calmer. "Of course I'll buy it, and get Maitian a new outfit too, hahaha."
...Jian Sheng felt a chill run down her spine from his sinister tone.
Wheatfield is probably going to get angry; it hates wearing clothes the most.
Jian Qingyao has no sense of aesthetics, but he insisted that she looked good in that white dress, saying that she is naturally fair-skinned and that bright colors are the best for her.
She passed by another store, tried on a black one, and was told that black also looked good on her, so she bought two pieces, and there was no stopping her.
Finally, he carried three large bags of clothes and two shoe boxes, while Jian Sheng followed behind him empty-handed.
"You have to keep the phone; it's a birthday present." He brought up this again.
Jian Sheng didn't want to listen, but didn't want his feelings to be unfulfilled, so she simply said "oh".
"Are you in a relationship?" he suddenly asked.
"?" Jian Sheng stared at him blankly, her eyes saying, "Are you crazy?"
Jian Qingyao frowned: "You've been rambling on and on, but you don't seem to care."
"I was thinking that I could contact your partner with my phone."
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