Chapter 88
"Also, she hasn't even offered to come see you, not even a single message." Li Jing's gaze fixed on his increasingly drooping head. "She should be thanking you, not you feeling guilty."
“Liking something isn’t about blind liking it, Chen Zhoujing.”
Whether it's worth it or not, you know in your heart.
After speaking for a long time, seeing that he didn't react, Li Jing added, "Call me anytime. I won't visit Aunt Xu empty-handed. I'm leaving now."
After Li Jing got on the bus, he saw him standing under the shade of a tree for a long time, long enough for him to finish smoking a whole pack of cigarettes.
He waited until Xu Weining drove back.
Seeing Xu Weining's car enter the garage, Chen Zhoujing clutched the admission notice in his hand and slowly walked into the living room. He didn't go upstairs as usual, but just sat on the sofa.
When Xu Weining came up, he was slightly surprised and said half-jokingly, "Oh, not hiding in the room today?"
She walked to the sofa to the side, crossed her legs, and smiled slightly. Suddenly, she noticed the admission notice in his hand and said knowingly, "Oh, I was wondering what happened. I almost forgot. The admission notice arrived, right?"
"Let's get straight to the point," she said, her voice turning cold.
Chen Zhoujing placed the admission notice on the table, her tone almost pleading: "Let me go to school, I won't do anything wrong."
"I'm not capable of doing anything, and keeping me like this is useless."
His words were calm, but they ignited Xu Weining's anger. She leaned back and raised her voice, "Do you know what you're saying, Chen Zhoujing?"
"I gave you so many chances, but you didn't seize them."
"Why don't you tell me all the things you've done since you were a child? What gives you the right to make demands of me? Do you think I owe you anything?"
"Don't forget, I raised you. And don't forget, your father didn't want you, so I brought you back and raised you!"
Chen Zhou chuckled softly.
"What do you mean?" Xu Weining's excitement was choked by his light laugh.
He lifted his eyes, his deep pupils filled with mockery and self-deprecation, but this quickly turned into a calm and composed expression.
"Don't you find it funny to say these things?" Chen Zhou clicked his tongue in surprise. "Do you have the nerve to say that?"
"You should know perfectly well how I grew up, Mom, right?"
Xu Weining was taken aback.
Chen Zhou's smile deepened: "How old was I when I first met you? Why don't you tell me yourself?"
“When I was born, you and Li Xiangzhe disliked me because I was thin, small, and malnourished. You didn’t like me and left me with my grandparents. When I filled out the forms, you didn’t want to come. My maternal grandmother took a bus from Qinjin to Jiangzhou alone. Amidst the excuses and arguments, she said that I should take her surname. Everyone fell silent. She took me to Qinjin. After you found out, you brought up the matter of my surname. You and Li Xiangzhe avoided me like the plague. In the end, you blamed me for tolerating Li Xiangzhe and letting Li Jing, who was not related to me by blood, take his surname. You said it was because of me that my father cheated on me.”
“When I was six, you took me back from my maternal grandmother’s house. During the two years in Qinjin, you and Li Xiangzhe came back only a handful of times. You didn’t want to see him, so you stayed in hotels outside and came back at different times. As soon as you came back, you would tell me how bad my father was and how unhappy you were. I didn’t know about what happened between you two, so I didn’t respond. You said I was cold-blooded and that I was as disgusting as my father. When I responded, you said it was all because of me. If I hadn’t been born, there wouldn’t have been so much trouble.”
“At eight years old, we were separated for five years. You avoided Li Xiangzhe when he asked you for a divorce because you thought he was cheating on you. You couldn’t save face, so you took the initiative to file for divorce. The two of you argued in court, making a huge scene. You were both making excuses because you thought Li Xiangzhe was dirty and cheating was commonplace for him. So you thought I was dirty too. You didn’t even want to look at me. After Li Xiangzhe took me away, you called me an ungrateful wretch, said you raised me for nothing, said I only sided with my father, and said you regretted giving birth to me.”
"When the news of the divorce spread, you felt ashamed in front of your relatives and couldn't hold your head up, so you took me back and ignored me. You were even disgusted to the point of wanting to move out. When you came back, you just left me with a child. That's when I found out that you and Li Xiangzhe had already had conflicts in the third year after I was born. You didn't meet again until you took me back when I was six. During this time, you started a business with Lin Shisheng, whom you met in school, and had Xu Mai. Even that selfish and arrogant Li Xiangzhe would send me a message from time to time, but I don't even have your contact information."
Do you remember or not?
“I guess you haven’t forgotten, but you don’t care. I’ve never mentioned any of this to you, and I’ve never accused you once.”
"You have the nerve to say you raised me? What have you ever done for me? From childhood to adulthood, half of everything I own came from Li Xiangzhe's child support payments, and the other half came from my grandparents. Is there anything you've given me as charity?"
"Don't forget, it was someone who took care of Xu Mai as both father and mother in the fourth year after she was born."
"And don't forget, who was it that ran around cleaning up the mess at home during the five years when Lin Shisheng was arguing and getting a divorce from you? Who was it that spoke well of both sides and gave Xu Mai a complete childhood."
"So that she won't end up resenting your ruthlessness."
"Of Xu Mai's sixteen years, I occupied twelve of them. What did you do?"
"How many things have I done? I've wronged you during high school, but you should know very well why I was in junior high. Don't forget."
“I will never forget, I will never forget my own mother, who said in front of all the school leaders that I have a bad character and that they could do whatever they wanted with me.”
"It was you... in a group chat of hundreds of people in the grade who said I was unruly and had a withdrawn personality, and told others not to mind. You were afraid that no one would want to play with me."
“Everyone is bullying me, even my own mother.”
“You never said a word for me. When your company was doing well, your friends’ children came to celebrate your birthday. You invited a banquet hall full of people, relatives and friends. I took time off to come to Qinjin to see you. I just wanted to hand you a gift I made myself at the door, but you went out, dragged me to a corner, and scolded me, complaining that I was embarrassing because I was covered in injuries.”
"You never asked how I got these injuries, but when the school leaders couldn't get through to Li Xiangzhe, they called you instead. After you found out the truth, you sided with those who hit me, saying I was shameful, that I deserved it, and that I went to school, not to fight. You apologized to those who hit me, maintaining your image as a good, dignified, and gentle mother, but then you gave me a good scolding."
"You only opened your mouth and showed up, and then you felt so ashamed that you stopped interfering. It was the mistress you mentioned, Li Xiangzhe's lover, who stepped in and solved the problem for me."
"You still say I have something going on with that person?"
“You also said that I shouldn’t have secretly helped Li Jing, that I was completely on the side of Li Jing and Li Xiangzhe, but this disgusting and despicable mistress’s son of yours was brought back to me. In front of a bunch of people who were bullying me, he sided with me and was even beaten up and sent to the hospital. After learning that Li Xiangzhe was not his biological father and that he suddenly had a younger brother like me, he begged his mother to help me.”
"You're still making wild guesses about what's going on between me and Li Jing?"
"So what if Li Jing's surname is Li and mine is Chen? The Li in Li Jing represents his unwavering treatment of Li Xiangzhe and Li Xiangzhe's unwavering support for him since childhood."
"I thought you told Teacher Zhong not to play ball because you were worried that strenuous exercise would be bad for my mood, and that you were concerned about my condition. But actually you were just afraid of cleaning up the mess."
“You’ve never asked me a single question. Every time you show up, it’s when I’m at my lowest point emotionally. In the end, you always casually tell me, ‘If it weren’t for you, I would be in a mental hospital right now.’”
"You're so eager and insistent on sending me abroad, you're actually thinking about getting me in too, right?"
Chen Zhoujing paused for a moment, then looked at the phone in her hand that was covering the sofa.
“Your phone profile picture has always been my brother, and you’ve always talked about my brother since we were little… I always believed that you gave birth to me because you loved me. But your repeated indifference made me realize that your love disappeared the year my brother died, or even when you divorced your first husband.”
"But Mom, I'm your child too."
You've never even spared me a glance.
“From childhood to adulthood, I have tried my best to be a perfect person in my parents’ eyes. I studied hard to get first place, I learned to do housework and clean, and I always went along with you. Have you ever seriously looked at me?”
"They say the reason you had me was to make up for your neglect of my brother when he had a fever as a child, which led to his death..."
"Chen Zhoujing!" Xu Weining slammed his hand on the sofa, and the phone next to him fell to the ground with the sound of shattering glass.
Chen Zhou fell silent in surprise.
"Did I hit a nerve?" After a long silence, he sneered.
"After saying all that, you only react when I mention my brother."
"Mom, do you wish I would suddenly die one day? You gave birth to me to make up for the fact that my brother died, but after I was born, you regretted having a son like me who can never do what you want."
"To be honest, you just really dislike me, right?"
"Everything else is just an excuse."
"Or rather... you don't love anyone, you only love your pride."
Chen Zhou lowered his head, his stray hairs obscuring his disappointed expression.
“I worked hard and got 706 points. I thought you would keep your promise, agree to let me stay in Jiangzhou, agree to let me go to school, and not interfere with my private affairs.”
"It turns out it was all a lie. You never respected me in the slightest, and you didn't care about our agreement at all."
He couldn't hold back and choked up: "I sleep only five hours a day and study day and night, making every second count. In your eyes, in all of your eyes, it's just a joke, isn't it?"
"You think I'm nothing, that you can do whatever you want with me. No matter how well I do, in your eyes I'm just an insignificant ant."
"Not even a fraction as good as my brother."
Xu Weining clenched his fists tightly, but he didn't know what to say.
The atmosphere remained tense until she finally spoke after a while.
"Are you trying to say I'm biased?" Her chest heaved even more violently.
I had expected a hysterical scolding from him, but all I got was his calm indifference.
Chen Zhoujing slowly raised his head, his pupils reddening. He looked at Xu Weining for a long time, and after hearing her few words that seemed to have no effect on him, he said, "No."
"You treat everyone equally, but you've never served me."
“I have never asked anything of you. I will pay you back the money you gave to her father, and I will also pay for your trip abroad.”
"You win."
He stood up, walked around the sofa behind him, and headed upstairs.
All his illusions seemed to turn into stagnant water under the calm narration.
It was a calm sea that couldn't stir up any waves.
Perhaps Li Jing is right: don't have too high expectations of anyone, not even your own mother.
After Chen Zhoujing left, Xu Mai came up from the back hall. She walked to Xu Weining's side and softly called out, "Mom."
Xu Weining, who had been lost in thought for a long time, was brought back to his senses by her call.
She glanced at Xu Mai, picked up the phone that had fallen to the ground, and her eyes instantly welled up with tears when her gaze fell on the photo on the back of the phone.
Xu Mai didn't say anything more, patted her on the back with his palm, and went upstairs.
When she arrived at Chen Zhoujing's door, he had already finished packing. He was carrying a bag and they met eyes.
Xu Mai grinned awkwardly: "Brother....."
"Where...where are you going?" She felt a little flustered and glanced at the already deserted room behind him, which now seemed even emptier.
Chen Zhoujing looked at her panicked pupils for a while, then lowered his eyes and said, "Take good care of yourself. Mom loves you very much."
Hearing his footsteps coming downstairs, Xu Mai couldn't hold back anymore and sobbed uncontrollably.
She chased after him downstairs, but Chen Zhoujing had already left the house, and Xu Weining had also left the living room.
Several days later, she heard that Chen Zhoujing had gone abroad without taking a penny from Xu Weining, and that Li Jing had gone with him.
After that, there was no further news about Chen Zhoujing, and Xu Weining never inquired about him.
The house seemed to grow increasingly desolate with each passing silence.
It was so deserted that every time Xu Mai came back, she would talk to the air.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
