Chapter 90
Jian Qingyao stayed in the car for more than an hour before driving away.
After that, Jian Sheng would receive messages from him every Friday inviting her out to dinner, until the end of the semester when he took her out for one last meal before leaving the country.
A week after Jian Qingyao went abroad, an unexpected person added her on WeChat.
Having just finished her part-time job at the flower shop over the weekend, she rushed to the shopping mall near the university town.
When Jian Sheng arrived at the hot pot restaurant on the fourth floor, Ni Xiaoman was already there.
She hurried inside and walked to the table at the very back.
"Sister Xiaoman," she called softly.
Ni Xiaoman turned around, a hint of amazement flashing in her eyes. She stood up, smiled, and said, "Long time no see, Jian Sheng."
"Your hair has grown long, and it looks beautiful."
"Sit down quickly." She handed her phone to Jian Sheng. "Check out the hot pot base options, you choose."
"Sorry for calling you out so suddenly. Did you just finish class?"
“No, no, I just got back from my part-time job at the flower shop… You can do it,” Jian Sheng handed her the phone.
“Don’t be so polite with me, I promised to treat you…” Ni Xiaoman waved her hand, “My sudden invitation today seems a bit presumptuous.”
Jian Sheng didn't say anything more. She and Ni Xiaoman had only met once, when she ran into Jian Qingyao in high school.
Even after all this time, her distinctive aura remains. As you walk in through the main gate, Jian Sheng can easily spot her among the crowd.
It is so beautiful it is beyond description.
However, Jian Sheng had a guess about the purpose of calling her today.
After she finished ordering, she was about to hand her her phone when she looked up and met her eyes filled with worry.
Jian Sheng's brow twitched slightly, and he felt a sudden tug at his chest.
"Sister Xiaoman, why are you looking at me like that?" She chuckled and placed her phone in front of her.
"Thank you for treating me to hot pot," Jian Sheng added.
“You and your brother are quite similar in some ways.” After a long silence, she said slowly, her bright eyes shining.
Jian Sheng had expected her to mention Jian Qingyao, but she didn't expect her to start with this.
She smiled and said, "He'll probably be angry if he finds out."
"Oh, is he really that fierce?" Ni Xiaoman laughed out loud.
"No, not at all. I was just kidding. He's a very good person."
“I think so too…” Ni Xiaoman’s smile gradually faded.
Jian Sheng noticed her low spirits, glanced at the tea on the side, and poured her a cup.
"Sister Xiaoman, do you want to ask about my brother?" Jian Sheng asked, revealing his true feelings.
Ni Xiaoman paused for a moment.
She nodded, her brow furrowing slightly: "Hmm... I heard he went abroad."
"Yes, he left a week ago."
Upon hearing Jian Sheng's words, Ni Xiaoman did not reply immediately. After a long while, as if pondering for a long time, she finally said, "Did... he leave alone?"
Jian Sheng habitually ran his fingers through his loose, long hair a few times.
She said slowly, "No, it's not."
She didn't have the heart to say it, but it was indeed the truth.
Yang Shao had come to see her earlier, after they had a fight when he learned that Jian Qingyao was going abroad.
He didn't beat around the bush and directly told her about Jian Qingyao, allowing Jian Sheng to see another side of Jian Qingyao from his perspective.
He said a lot of nice things about her, just like when she was still in high school, Yang Shao secretly added her contact information and asked her to meet him at the coffee shop.
He spoke very directly and clearly about his relationship with Jian Qingyao, and then talked to her for a long time.
So much so that later on, whenever something happened between Yang Shao and Jian Qingyao, he would come to find Jian Sheng.
The two had many minor squabbles, but the only major one was when Jian Qingyao was going abroad.
She could tell that Jian Qingyao liked him very much, and so did Yang Shao.
But Ni Xiaoman.......
Jian Sheng always remembered, but never understood, about Jian Qingyao and her affair.
"Did you and my brother have a past?" Jian Sheng's cheeks flushed, and she felt a little embarrassed.
Ni Xiaoman paused, then blinked: "That's what he told you?"
"Huh?" Jian Sheng was a little confused.
"Haven't you talked about it?"
Ni Xiaoman shook her head, her expression complicated.
"No." After a while, when all the dishes were served, she said, "Never."
"His world consisted only of Yang Shao, from beginning to end."
"His romantic history is very clean, so clean that it only involves Yang Shao."
After she finished speaking, her eyes reddened, and tears welled up in her pupils.
After a long while, she managed to suppress the urge to cry: "I have never truly entered his heart."
“I am a stain on his romantic history.”
"I am very grateful to him."
Jian Sheng didn't understand. She opened her mouth, then closed it again, feeling a tightness in her chest.
“He said he had talked to you before.” She pursed her lips.
Ni Xiaoman lowered her eyes, the overhead light falling on her eyelashes, flashing up and down with the movement of her eyelashes.
"No...no...it's impossible."
"He helped me once."
"If it weren't for him, I almost... almost..."
Before she could finish speaking, Jian Sheng's eyes also reddened.
She guessed what she meant, but she didn't say anything and waited for her to continue.
"He, Yang Shao, and I were in the same class. I've always liked him, and everyone knows that."
"I've given him snacks, gifts, and even confessed my feelings, but he's clearly rejected me. His attitude towards me is very obvious."
“There were no girls around him, only Yang Shao and a few other boys. He wasn’t very talkative. I felt that he was cold on the outside but warm on the inside, just shy. So I pursued him relentlessly.”
"When the matter reached the teacher, he didn't say a bad word about me. He took the blame himself, saying that he hadn't been careful and had caused me trouble. The teacher moved his seat to the far corner, and we were separated by a class. After that, I stopped going to see him, but I still kept an eye on him. Sometimes I would deliberately walk up to his seat and say a few words to him out of the blue. He would respond to each of my words without any impatience or saying anything unpleasant."
"After some time, I encountered a problem, and he encountered one too, and he helped me solve it."
"This matter caused a big fuss because he got into a fight with those people who bullied me and lifted my clothes, right there at school. Later, in the office, those people wouldn't budge and insisted that he deliberately provoked them and beat them up."
“I was very scared at the time and kept crying. He glanced at me, gave me a few tissues, and then told the teacher that it was because we were on our way to the bookstore that we ran into those people with whom he had a conflict. In fact, he didn’t know any of those people.”
“I wanted to speak, but his voice drowned me out. He took the blame and the teacher judged that we were dating. In the end, those who bullied me and I were given demerits, but he was only placed on probation and suspended from school for a month.”
"The reason is that he was in a relationship and got into fights."
"I asked him why, but he wouldn't say. He just said that he's a boy and it doesn't matter."
"Actually, he helped me because I'm a girl, and it wouldn't be good for me if word got out that I was being harassed. Yang Shao told me this later, after he got together with Yang Shao. At that time, with the rumors about him and Yang Shao, I realized that their relationship wasn't just a simple brotherhood, nor was it a close one where they could share the same pants. I had seen how he interacted with other people."
"Even now, they all think I dated him, but he dumped me and got together with another guy, even a roommate. Everyone says bad things about him, even his mom calls him disgusting..."
"They said he was a good-for-nothing bad kid from childhood to adulthood, and they cursed him in front of so many people at the university gate."
“I wanted to explain, but he stopped me. He said he didn’t care. He thought he was bad because he liked to fight and do things against the rules. In reality, he was a good person, but he didn’t know it himself.”
"It's all because of me..."
"If I were brave enough to admit it, no one would talk about them, no one would pay attention to them, and no one would know about what happened between them."
"He wouldn't have had to endure such a huge backlash from public opinion..."
“I…I’m just a coward. I said I liked him, but not even a fraction as much as Yang Shao. Everyone else was against him, but Yang Shao always spoke up for him. Even when someone mocked him, he would still speak up for him and always protect him.”
“It’s understandable that Jian Qingyao likes him.”
"And I am just a mute hiding in the background, a selfish and cowardly person amidst the gossip."
"He clearly didn't need to endure so much criticism, and he didn't need to hide abroad with Yang Shao..."
Ni Xiaoman's voice choked with emotion, and tears still streamed down her face.
Jian Sheng handed her a tissue, and looking at the bubbling soup in the pot, he felt a mix of emotions.
She suddenly remembered that Jian Qingyao had been watching her every day for a period of time, which was the time when she met him and Yang Shao arguing, and also the period after she first met Yang Shao.
She thought he simply disliked her, but it turned out he was afraid she would look at him differently, and he was afraid she would tell his grandmother if she found out about him.
Jian Shengxin felt a sinking feeling, as if a lead weight was pressing down on him, and he felt very uncomfortable.
After waiting a while, until Ni Xiaoman put down the tissue, she finally spoke: "It's not your fault."
"But I can't say anything to you on his behalf."
"All I can say is that no one is absolutely wrong. From your perspective, having your private matters leaked would ruin you."
"He's already thought this through; he definitely hopes you won't blame yourself."
"Going abroad is none of your business; it's his own decision."
Jian Sheng heard that he and Yang Shao had been classmates all the way through junior high and university. He got into Chenghai Private School through his uncle's help. He was able to attend the school in the first place because of Yang Shao.
But she couldn't say anything about Jian Qingyao and Yang Shao's relationship, so she could only offer her comfort.
Over the hotpot meal, Ni Xiaoman told her a lot of things, from Jian Qingyao to some interesting stories from university, and also learned a lot about Jian Sheng.
The atmosphere shifted from somber to relaxed.
After finishing her meal, Ni Xiaoman took a taxi home.
Jian Sheng walked alone along the long sidewalk, from the entrance of the mall all the way.
The summer night was filled with stars. She looked up, took a breath, and then opened her phone to browse through WeChat.
My WeChat Moments feed keeps updating non-stop, and group messages keep popping up.
Only that familiar dialog box never popped up.
She should care, but so much time has passed that she doesn't know how to take that first step.
Perhaps this relationship really was, as Jian Qingyao said, a passion from her youth.
But she also felt it was more than that, not just that.
Her affection for him couldn't be considered just a fleeting passion; it was at least one of the most significant chapters in her life.
As she returned to school, gazing at the long, dark road lined with streetlights, the few scattered people, and the vast campus, a faint pang of sadness welled up in her heart.
She walked along the path she used to run through the campus, stepping on the shadows cast by the streetlights, until she found the supermarket and, on a whim, bought herself an ice cream.
After looking around for a while, I saw a familiar package.
Without thinking, she instinctively reached out to take it.
After going downstairs, she continued walking, until she reached the basketball court and then the playground.
Looking at the students scattered in pairs, laughing and joking on the sports field, and the lively playground.
She had already walked to the playground with half of her ice cream in her mouth.
Jian Sheng stopped and stood at the entrance, finished eating the ice cream and threw it away.
She walked into the lawn, found a corner spot, and slowly sat down.
After sitting there for a while, she couldn't help but open her phone again to look at the chat history that she had already read hundreds of times.
And my WeChat Moments feed has been refreshed hundreds of times.
There's still nothing there.
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