late at night.
On the rooftop balcony of the Nan family villa.
After washing up, Yin Han and Nan Sheng sat on the double swing, with drinks and snacks on the high table in front of them.
In August, the moon hangs high in the sky, the night is warm and gentle, and the stars twinkle, creating an atmosphere full of poetic beauty.
The hotter it is during the day, the cooler it is at night.
Nan Sheng looked up and saw that the sky was covered with stars, sparkling and twinkling, as if they were about to fall. Countless brilliant stars gathered together, seemingly illuminating the whole world.
A gentle evening breeze is blowing. Tonight, I'm raising a glass to my family and chatting happily. And now, my loved one is beside me.
Her eyes reddened slightly; all of this felt so beautiful and unreal.
So it turns out there really are people who are so happy they cry.
"Shengbao, what's wrong?" Yin Han sat down next to her and noticed tears welling up in her eyes. He gently wiped them away for her.
Nan Sheng shifted her position and sat directly on his lap: "It's nothing, I just feel that we are very lucky right now."
Upon hearing this, Yin Han nodded in agreement: "Very lucky."
Thank you for turning around and looking at me, Nan Sheng.
"Yin Xiaohan".
"Yes, I'm here."
"Never think of me first, think of yourself first, okay?" Nan Sheng suddenly said something that Yin Han couldn't understand.
All he knew was that his heart started to race when he heard those words.
Every time Yin Han heard such words, he felt that Nan Sheng didn't want him anymore.
"What's wrong? I'm fine as I am. I just want to stay by your side forever." Yin Han held her hands tightly, his voice involuntarily tinged with a hint of panic.
“Yes, we will definitely always be together. What I mean is, rather than liking me, I want you to be yourself first, because I love you too, and I want you to be more free and understand that life doesn't have to revolve around me. And I also believe that no matter what you do, if you prioritize yourself, you will never give up on me.” Nan Sheng’s voice was gentle.
She and Yin Han grew up together, and during the year or so they had a falling out, and then made up, many things made her seem to understand Yin Han's feelings.
His gaze was fixed on her, and he always prioritized her above all else.
Of course, this made her very happy, because she knew that Yin Han loved her very much.
However, Yin Han overlooked one thing: her feelings for him were the same. When you like someone, you want them to learn to be themselves.
"No... I don't want to." Upon hearing this, Yin Han awkwardly turned her head away and released Nan Sheng's hands.
Nan Sheng was startled by his sudden action, because she had just clearly felt that Yin Han's voice was tinged with sobs.
She quickly got off Yin Han's lap and turned to face the direction Yin Han was facing.
But to everyone's surprise, when Nan Sheng went to see him, Yin Han turned his head to the other side again. The two of them kept turning around and around, but they never made eye contact.
This was the first time Yin Han had done this. In the past, he would have obediently let Nan Sheng see it.
It was clear that Nan Sheng's words had made him very angry and flustered.
So Nan Sheng had no choice but to pretend to be aggrieved and say, "Yin Xiaohan, you won't let me see you. You keep turning around and around. I'm so tired... It's so tiring to squat down too."
Sure enough, the next second, Yin Han turned his head and tried to pull the person in front of him up.
But Nan Sheng didn't move: "You cried?"
Nan Sheng stood up abruptly, stood in front of him, and cupped his cheeks in her hands.
At this moment, Yin Han's eyes were red, with obvious tears welling up at the corners of his eyes, and tear tracks on both sides of his cheeks. His handsome and unruly face was full of grievance: "I don't want to, I just want my life and my future to revolve around you, or rather, I'll do whatever you ask me to do, but you are still the most important... okay?"
Yin Han raised her head, her eyes filled with tears, her tone cautious, much like a stray cat in a corner of an alley, suddenly bullied, curled up into a ball, letting out a sob of grievance.
When Nan Sheng saw Yin Han looking so wronged and pitiful for the first time, it felt like a heavy punch had hit her heart, as if the outcome was the opposite of what she had imagined.
"Isn't it good to be yourself?" Nan Sheng was also affected by his emotions, and her eyes became a little sore.
The boy in front of her had grown his love for her at some point, to a degree she could not even imagine, while she had been completely unaware of it and had even hurt him.
Would he have felt even more wronged and heartbroken back then than he does now?
Yin Han shook his head, wiping away his tears with a somewhat childish gesture, and said hoarsely, "It's not good at all, Sheng Bao. Have you ever thought that if you hadn't brought eight-year-old Yin Han home back then, he might not exist in this world anymore?" (Linked to Chapter 30 of the main text)
At that time, he huddled in that alley, with no desire to live at all, because he was too tired, homeless, and unwanted.
With a thud, Nan Sheng felt as if she had been hit by a heavy object, and a dense, overwhelming heartache spread through her, making even breathing painful.
So is that why he has been following himself?
"I only want you. When I held your hand and followed you home, I was you, and you were you. At that time, I was thinking, what a beautiful little princess you came from, willing to bring home someone as dirty and unwanted as me. But you didn't look down on me at all. You even said I was beautiful and that I would be your husband when I got home."
When she finished speaking, Yin Han spoke very softly.
Although he was eight years old and didn't understand what liking or feelings meant, he already knew how important Nan Sheng was to him.
Nan Sheng is his life. If a person doesn't revolve around their own destiny, then life has no meaning.
"And whether life has meaning or not doesn't mean you have to be yourself. As long as you think that this thing or this person can bring you emotional value or you feel that it is meaningful, isn't that better?" Yin Han said a lot. Finally, he carefully wrapped his arms around Nan Sheng's waist, gently leaned against her, and shed a tear where she couldn't see it.
"So, Nan Sheng, please don't say things like that, okay? Hearing these words makes me panic. I always think you don't want me anymore. Without Nan Sheng, Yin Han is no different from a walking corpse."
He understands himself best. All he wants and hopes for is to stay by Nan Sheng's side and protect her day after day. Every extra day is a blessing from heaven.
——
There may not be people like Yin Han in real life, but I personally think that it's true, just be yourself and do what you think is valuable and meaningful.
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