Chapter Seventeen Last Wish
Yi Chu unfolded the letter:
—Xiao Chu, it is as if we are meeting in person.
By now, I will probably be no longer alive. After my passing, I will need your compassion for me, being all alone, and your care for me will be greatly appreciated.
I've never been a noble person. Although Lu Ming never revealed a single piece of internal Lu Group information to me over the decades, I could vaguely sense it. When I resigned, I only hoped to persuade him to go abroad and stop in time, lest he be exposed and have nowhere to escape. But on the day we said goodbye, I saw a photo of you with an old friend in your room, and fate played a cruel trick on me, making me see him with Lu Ming. I agreed to cooperate with the police investigation, even though I knew it would push him into a fire.
After that, I constantly thought about confessing to him. Even though my lie had already been exposed, he still covered for me at every turn, pretending not to see it. Was it because he loved me and I took his affection for granted, or because he was also fed up with his current life and wanted to end it this way? I have no way of knowing.
But no matter how I try to argue, I killed him. This is the only sin I have ever committed in my life. Even the deepest hell wouldn't be enough to atone for it. I didn't die because of anyone else; I died because of my own cowardice.
My physical body died when I killed Su Zhengde with my own hands at the age of sixteen, but my soul was born from the moment I first met him.
I've said so much only because you are the only true friend I have in this life. No matter how others despise me, I hope that you will spare me a little pity amidst your disgust.
...
Finally, please bury me and Lu Ming together. We must truly be together—even our ashes must be mixed together.
As for the inscription on the monument, you can carve whatever you want, whether it's something heinous or something that deserves to die.
From this moment on, I wish you a lifetime of happiness, health, and companionship.
...
I was born at dusk, lived through the eternal night, but was fortunate enough to witness the brilliance of the stars, and then died with all that darkness in my body at the first ray of dawn.
Yi Chu lay alone on the hospital bed, trembling with sobs. Gu Bai'an returned sometime earlier, asked nothing, and gently wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes.
He didn't comfort him by saying "don't cry," but simply stayed with him quietly, letting him vent as he pleased.
Yi Chu used the money in Su Yi's card to handle the funeral arrangements. There was still a lot left over, so after thinking about it, he donated it all to an educational foundation.
The cemetery staff called to ask what they wanted engraved on the tombstone.
Yi Chu pondered for a moment and said, "Don't carve anything... leave it blank."
On the deep black marble, there were no words or photos, no incense or flowers in front of it; it stood there quietly, just like that past that no one knows anymore.
It took a full month for the discharge papers to be approved. Gu Bai'an tidied up the ward, telling Yi Chu to sit in a chair and not move. Yi Chu was extremely helpless, so she listlessly looked out the ward window at the bustling street outside the hospital. Various vehicles came and went, families of three walked side by side, and couples held hands and embraced.
Countless people, unaware of their surroundings, continue to live their lives, whether in good times or bad, under the ever-renewing sunlight.
At this moment, it felt like dawn to him. But he always understood that the long night was an inseparable part of the cycle of reincarnation.
"Where's Xiao Yan?" Yi Chu suddenly remembered and asked Gu Bai'an.
Gu Bai'an curled his lips. He still felt lingering fear when he thought about Xiao Yan's ulterior motives towards Yi Chu and his actions. What if Jiang Zhimu's people hadn't arrived in time? Not only could they have used him to their advantage, but they might have even lost Yi Chu's life: "It's been transferred to the procuratorate for assisting in the transportation of drugs. I estimate that it will be life imprisonment if not the death penalty. He'll be stuck with it for life."
Yi Chu had a listening device on her. After Jiang Zhimu rescued her that day, Xiao Yan was placed under police control. As for what happened later, it was just a show for people to see. The corpses burned in the crematorium were also unidentified bodies.
"After all, he was my student..." Yi Chu sighed softly, "I don't want to think about it anymore. He deserved it, I suppose."
"Don't think about it, okay? Overthinking is bad for your health." Gu Bai'an packed everything into a backpack and a suitcase, carrying them alone, with one hand free to hold him as they walked down. "By the way, after this mission, I want to transfer to the criminal investigation team. I've already submitted a report to the bureau. It'll still involve life and death, but not as much like before, licking blood off the knife's edge..." Gu Bai'an initially studied criminal investigation at police academy, and only later transferred to the narcotics squad, so this is a fitting assignment for him.
"...I've thought about it too. I don't want to stay in school anymore. I'll be able to play a greater role in the police force than in school, and Captain Jiang thinks so too." Yi Chu brought up his long-held idea. "And after this incident, my dad has also softened his stance... So, from now on, the two of us will be able to go through thick and thin together, and we won't be afraid of anything!" Gu Bai'an could tell that he was worried that Yi Chu was unwilling.
"Okay. Whatever you say goes." Gu Bai'an knew that Yi Chu wanted to do what he wanted to do as well. Yi Chu was a living, breathing person with ability, ideals, ambition, and determination. Stopping him was not protection, but destruction.
However, Gu Bai'an rejected the two things, 'to face death' and 'to suffer together', without Gu's consent.
Yi Chu was almost fully recovered. Taking advantage of the holiday, Gu Bai'an, a model young man of the new era, resolutely dragged Yi Chu to a famous temple in a scenic area outside the city, determined to embrace feudal superstition for once. In front of the house with the gilded Buddha statue, there was a very high threshold. A young monk was blocking the way outside, refusing entry without kneeling.
Perhaps because the two young men looked unreliable, they were specifically stopped and given a brief explanation. The two exchanged a glance, and Yi Chu tugged at his hand, signaling him to turn and leave.
"You haven't even converted yet, and you've already betrayed us?" Yi Chu teased him jokingly.
"Successors of the new era, people's police, and staunch materialists!" Gu Bai'an said solemnly. "Besides, if there really are gods and Buddhas in this world, and they protect the virtuous, then we will surely be immune to all poisons!"
Yi Chu rolled her eyes at him: "Aren't you ashamed?"
"What's wrong?" Gu Bai'an noticed that his gaze paused for a moment when it swept over a certain spot, and asked.
Yi Chu shook his head: "Nothing, just saw a young woman, dressed quite fashionably, rather unusual." Gu Bai'an followed his gaze. A slender young woman wore a midi skirt with a small leather jacket, her long, elegant waves shining brightly. It was Wednesday, and there were few people around, making the woman even more conspicuous among the middle-aged and elderly group; it was hard not to notice her.
However, the world is full of wonders, and what one wears to pray to the gods and Buddhas is none of Buddha's business, so it's not for others to comment. The two didn't pay any more attention and turned to leave.
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