Angry as he was, Rong Zhouzhong finally did not force Shi Jin to leave Fei Yujing, the sick patient, behind.
Shi Jin sat down beside the bed, looked at Fei Yujing, and asked, "How is the injury?"
"It's a minor injury. The water in the lungs has been cleared with a small operation. The recovery is good." Fei Yujing answered simply, put down the documents, and looked at him. Seeing that he didn't look very good, he asked, "Did you rush here overnight? How did you do in the final exam?" Shi Jin
didn't expect that he still had the energy to care about this. He felt a little helpless and replied, "I did okay... Doctor, will you have sequelae in your condition?"
Fei Yujing replied, "No, the injury to the lungs is just a minor injury. After the water is cleared, the wound will heal automatically. If you take good care of your ribs, there will be no problem."
"That's good." Shi Jin felt relieved a little, leaned back in his chair, was silent for a while, and said guiltily, "I'm sorry, I have implicated you."
"If you feel sorry for me, just answer me a question." Fei Yujing, as if he knew he would say this, immediately took the opportunity to make a request. Shi
Jin was stunned, looked at him, nodded, and replied, "Okay, ask."
Fei Yujing looked at Rong Zhouzhong who had silently raised his ears, and said, "Third brother, Xiao Jin rushed here overnight and may not have had time to eat. Go buy him a meal." Rong Zhouzhong
looked at him sideways in disbelief, and raised his voice, "Do you really think I'm a caregiver?"
"I just want to get rid of you." Fei Yujing was very honest, "This is a private conversation between Xiao Jin and me. It is not suitable for a third person to hear. Come back in a quarter of an hour." Rong Zhouzhong, who
had been tortured these days, was so angry at his honesty that his expression was distorted. He wanted to go up and kill him personally, but after looking at Shi Jin, he finally stood up, frowned and said, "Just a quarter of an hour, no more." After that, he turned around and strode away.
Finally, only Shi Jin and Fei Yujing were left in the room.
Shi Jin looked at Fei Yujing, waiting for him to ask questions. In fact, he had already guessed what Fei Yujing wanted to ask.
Fei Yujing turned his gaze back to him and asked directly: "When I left the island that day, you said you were not angry about me using you in the past. I couldn't figure it out after I came back. Xiao Jin, I want to know what you are really angry about."
Sure enough, it was this.
Shi Jin asked back: "Why do you suddenly want to know this? According to your personality, you should not be obsessed with such things."
"This problem is not an obsession for me, but a worry that disturbs my thinking." Fei Yujing explained, still frankly, "After I came back, I would think about this problem from time to time, but I could never figure it out. The more I couldn't figure it out, the more I cared about it. Gradually, this problem became a worry for me, and it even affected my work efficiency. I want to know the answer, not because of you, but because I want to get rid of this trouble of being disturbed by this problem from time to time. Get out of the situation."
This kind of question can actually become a heart disease, and the sentence that specifically emphasized that it was not because of you... Shi Jin felt a little depressed and said expressionlessly: "This is such a selfish answer."
Fei Yujing accepted his evaluation frankly: "I thought you knew my nature a long time ago."
But even if he knew it, when he really analyzed and talked rationally with the other party about what should obviously be an emotional matter like handling business, he still couldn't accept it. His thoughts were just a trouble that disturbed Fei Yujing's thoughts. The emotional inequality was the reason why the two of them could never get close.
"Brother, this is what I'm angry about." Shi Jin answered, continuing to remain expressionless, trying to make himself appear as rational and cold-blooded as Fei Yujing at this moment. "I'm looking for emotional response, and you're giving me material and interest compensation. I can't get what I want, so I'm very angry."
Fei Yujing was rarely stunned for a moment and asked, "Emotionally?"
"Yes." Shi Jin nodded.
Fei Yujing looked at him, suddenly smiled and said, "But Xiaojin, I have already given you what you wanted." Shi Jin
was stunned, then frowned: "What?"
"I care about you, help you, and comply with all your requests. I try my best to protect you and even entrust my life to you. My mother is the first person in the world who can make me give so much, and you are the second. Xiaojin, you look at me with prejudice, but blame me for not tearing through your prejudice and looking into your eyes. Isn't this too unfair to me? Of course, I am not blaming you, you have the right to look at me like this, but I hope you can face your own thoughts, otherwise you will always be on guard against me in this self-contradictory way."
Guard? Face your own thoughts? What a mess, it's totally incomprehensible.
Shi Jin frowned even more, thinking that he was making excuses and blurring his ideas, and said, "No, you obviously-obviously... obviously..." His voice suddenly became hesitant.
"Obviously what?" Fei Yujing asked. Shi
Jin looked at his eyes that seemed to be able to see through everything, and his wrinkled brows loosened a little bit, and he slowly became speechless. Obviously... obviously Fei Yujing was treating him just as he said.
Caring? Yes, Fei Yujing did care about him. Those daily greetings, the birthday gifts he sent with great care, and the invitations he tried to respond to, what else could they be but caring? And also helping, setting up a fund, helping Lian Jun with energy issues, and various subsequent cooperation. If it weren't for his face, how could a shrewd Fei Yujing have anything to do with Lian Jun, who had a troubled background. The request was also made. During the reunion dinner last year, he said that he hoped his brothers would cook by themselves, and everyone really cooked by themselves. A person like Fei Yujing would actually take time out to learn how to cook. Who would believe this? Protecting and entrusting lives is even more so. Fei Yujing could have avoided getting involved in the meeting in April.
And the car accident in front of him. According to Fei Yujing's external behavior, just the fact that he caused the car accident would be enough for Fei Yujing to severely punish the culprit or torture him to death. But now Fei Yujing has no intention of using this incident to blame him for the trouble. He even comforted him instead.
One after another, everything Fei Yujing says and does now is like a real brother. The care and love behind his various actions are undoubtedly all emotional responses. From the day Fei Yujing took the initiative to extend an olive branch to him, Fei Yujing has tried his best to do the best in terms of both interests and emotions.
But... why can't he feel Fei Yujing's emotional response at all? Why?
He was suddenly a little confused.
Snap.
His forehead was suddenly bounced, and he came back to his senses and looked at Fei Yujing who suddenly attacked him.
"Xiao Jin, what are you really angry about?" Fei Yujing suddenly changed the subject, his tone was rarely gentle, "I know you didn't tell the truth just now, tell me the answer to this question, I want to know."
Shi Jin looked at him, his thoughts still on the previous topic. His mind was in a mess. He hesitated for a moment, but finally chose to follow his heart and replied, "I'm angry... because you abandoned me so decisively after my father died. Why could you be so decisive? To you, was I so eager to sever my ties? Why was it so easy for you to withdraw?"
Vague memories and emotions surged from the bottom of his heart. The confusion and grievance he felt in the dream once again invaded his mind. He only felt that he was standing on the street, with a stranger standing in front of him, and Fei Yujing standing a few meters away. He was obviously close at hand, yet so far away.
Reason has a chance to pull back consciousness, but emotions slowly let go of the resentment that has been suppressed in the heart for too long. He suddenly had an intuition - Fei Yujing inexplicably brought up this topic today just to make him lose control of his emotions.
"Why?" He looked into Fei Yujing's eyes and simply let himself go. Gradually he couldn't tell which Shi Jin he was. "Why? In the past ten years, have you really not given any feelings at all?"
Fei Yujing also looked at him and answered honestly: "Yes."
With a click, the memory and surging emotions shattered in an instant. The question that he had been questioning for many years finally got the answer. Shi Jin suddenly came back to his senses, stared at Fei Yujing with slightly wide eyes, and there was a brief blank in his expression and thoughts.
He seemed to hear the answer he least wanted to hear.
Fei Yujing raised his hand and touched his eyes, saying, "So you are angry about this... Shi Jin, the truth is always hurtful, but I don't want to lie to you. I have known my position and what I really want since I was a child. In my eyes, you were just a symbol, Shi Xingrui's most beloved son, and a channel to quickly and efficiently gain benefits. I know clearly what I am doing to you, and I understand that the final outcome of you and me can only be strangers, or mortal enemies. Under such circumstances, I cannot invest real affection in you." Shi
Jin looked at him without blinking. His ears clearly heard every word he said, but his brain resisted to understand the meaning of the sentences composed of these words.
"I'm not abandoning you. I'm just reorganizing my perfect nutrient intake network, just like cutting off a nutrient delivery tube that can no longer provide me with nutrients and may even become diseased. Everything I did has nothing to do with you. It was just for myself. At that time, I didn't consider your feelings, nor your position. I only considered myself. I'm sorry for treating you like this in the past."
"That's nothing." Shi Jin's fingers tightened inch by inch, and he turned his head to avoid his hand. "Is it necessary for you to say that?"
How ridiculous, he thought in the past, no, it was the original owner who thought, that the reason why Fei Yujing ignored him and completely abandoned him was because he hated him and didn't like him. Anyway, he always had some emotional concern for him, even if this concern was negative. Did the original owner misunderstand? Fei Yujing, that bastard, never cared about his younger brother. In Fei Yujing's eyes, his younger brother was not even a human being, but just a piece of trash that was thrown away after being used. He
really shouldn't have asked such stupid questions. Didn't he know what kind of answer he would get?
Facing such a sober bastard, it would be strange if he could feel the other party's emotional response. Who knew if those responses would be another game of the other party? Who dared to indulge himself to believe those responses?
It turned out that it was not that he couldn't, but that he didn't dare. His subconscious had already chosen the best attitude for him to face Fei Yujing - ignore him, be indifferent to him, and don't care about him, because he was a devil who could hurt people with a smile.
"Are you angry?" Fei Yujing withdrew his hand and asked. Shi
Jin frowned, stood up and said, "There's nothing to be angry about. I've known what kind of person you are for a long time... You should have a rest, I'll come to see you tomorrow."
"Xiao Jin." Fei Yujing grabbed his arm and said, "I've told you once before, and I'll tell you again now. In my life, I rarely regret what I have done, but I treated you so badly in the past. I regret it and I'm sorry." Shi Jin
shook his hand off, forced a smile at him, and said, "I get it, I understand your apology. But in the future, you should say less apologies that are just for your own pleasure and don't force the other party to respond. I don't feel happy when I hear them. Anyway, no matter what my attitude is, you just do what you want to do, right?" After that, he turned around and left quickly.
This time Fei Yujing did not stop him. When he was about to leave, he said, "Xiao Jin, what you want from me is not an emotional response, but an emotional need. I will give it to you. You have changed my view of family affection and made me see many things that I have neglected before. So as long as it is what you want, I will give it to you." Shi Jin
paused, then took a deep breath, reached out to open the door of the ward, and walked out without looking back.
Fei Yujing looked at the closed ward door, his calm expression slowly disappeared, he lowered his eyes and rubbed his forehead, a look of frustration and fatigue appeared on his face, and he muttered to himself: "Is it too hasty..."
Outside the ward, Rong Zhouzhong just came back with the bought food, and saw Shi Jin rushing out of the ward with a bad expression. He was stunned at first, then frowned, walked up to him and asked: "What's wrong with you? Did second brother bully you?" Then he rolled up his sleeves, as if he was going to fight with Fei Yujing.
Shi Jin suppressed his emotions and shook his head, holding his arm and said, "Third brother, I'm sleepy. Where do you live? Take me there."
...
Shi Jin checked into the hotel where Rong Zhouzhong stayed, and deliberately chose the room next to Rong Zhouzhong. Then he went back to the room, took a shower, and threw himself on the bed.
"Emotional needs..." He muttered these words, his eyes wide open, "Does it mean that I hope Fei Yujing can show that he needs me more and cares about me... How is that possible?"
He turned over, pulled the quilt to cover himself, and after a long time, he pounded the pillow irritably.
What a weird conversation, don't think about it, just go to sleep!
When I woke up, the lights were already on outside. Shi Jin was so hungry that his hands and feet were weak. He got up, changed his clothes, went to the next door to find Rong Zhouzhong, and dragged him to go out for food.
"It's really rare to have a good sleep." Rong Zhouzhong yawned and asked, "What do you want to eat?" Shi
Jin replied, "Rice... Third brother, do you need me?"
Rong Zhouzhong was confused by his question and asked in confusion, "What do you mean?" Shi Jin
found that he unconsciously remembered the conversation with Fei Yujing again, frowned, and replied, "Nothing, I just asked nonsense, actually I don't know what it means."
Rong Zhouzhong, however, became interested in this topic. After thinking for a while, he asked, "Then do you need me?"
Shi Jin looked at him carefully from the side and replied seriously, "I need Lian Jun more than you."
Rong Zhouzhong was choked and his expectations were dashed. He pursed his lips hard to suppress the urge to say bad things about Lian Jun, and said sarcastically, "Me too. I need air and water more than you."
Shi Jin was amused by his answer.
"What are you laughing at? Did I just say something funny?" Rong Zhouzhong muttered in dissatisfaction. He looked at him a few times, and couldn't help but curl up his lips. He stretched out his hand and rubbed his head hard, saying fiercely, "Why do you worry so much every day? Did your second brother say something unpleasant to you? Don't pay attention to him. He is just like that. He clearly wants to show goodwill, but he insists on pulling everything into the aspect of profit and rationality. You think Is he being mature, rational and restrained? Wrong! He is just a coward. He dare not get deeply involved in any emotion, dare not ask for a response, dare not let go of his emotions, and confines himself to a frame, fearing that he will be hurt and shocked to death if he steps out. So don't pay attention to him, he has a problem with his brain, let him die alone with his pile of dogmas!" Shi Jin
was stunned by his words and looked at him in surprise.
Rong Zhouzhong raised his chin, showing what he thought was the most handsome angle in front of him, raised his hand and elegantly pushed the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, and said: "The most important thing for an actor is to understand the role thoroughly and be able to perfectly present the inner thoughts of the role. To me, understanding people's hearts is as easy as drinking water. I have seen too many people with the personality of the second brother. It is easy for me to analyze his inner thoughts. You don't have to admire him too much--" "It
's late at night, and in a brightly lit room. Don't you think you look stupid wearing sunglasses?" Shi Jin asked expressionlessly.
Rong Zhouzhong was interrupted by Shi Jin before he could finish his boast. He paused, looked at Shi Jin, twitched his eyebrows, and tried to save his dignity by saying, "I know you are deliberately irritating me and want to quarrel with me to vent your emotions, but I won't let you succeed."
This was too familiar. Fei Yujing had also said it before, but at that time Fei Yujing said that he wanted to act coquettishly. Shi Jin's heart trembled, as if someone had exposed his little thoughts. He suddenly reached out and took off the sunglasses on Rong Zhouzhong's nose and put them on his face, covering his eyes and expression.
Rong Zhouzhong was stunned, and looked around to make sure no one was paying attention. He reached out to grab the sunglasses and said, "Didn't you say it's stupid to wear sunglasses indoors? Give it back to me." Shi Jin
turned around and dodged, saying, "I like this pair of sunglasses, and they belong to me. Why are you so careful? This is abroad, and no one knows you."
"You don't know anything about my status in the fashion circle, give it back to me." Rong Zhouzhong continued to reach out to grab it. Shi Jin
dodged flexibly and refused to return it.
The two brothers quarreled until they had dinner and finally settled down. Rong Zhouzhong finally got his sunglasses back, but he didn't need to wear them anymore because Shi Jin messed up his hair like a chicken nest. No one wanted to believe that this man with messy hair was the Rong Zhouzhong who always had a perfect image.
The two of them got a private room. After the dishes were served, Rong Zhouzhong scratched his hair, put his sunglasses on Shi Jin's face with a dark face, and said, "For you, you childish guy." Shi
Jin accepted it without any pressure, and pointed to the watch on Rong Zhouzhong's wrist and said, "I like that too."
"...I don't believe you really like this." Rong Zhouzhong muttered, but he still took off his watch and said, "This watch strap needs to be adjusted at a special place. I'll give you the address of the watch strap adjustment place in City B, you can go and get it yourself." Shi Jin took
the watch and searched around his body. He only found a small clip that he bought from the college supermarket to hold draft papers in his pocket. He put his hand into Rong Zhouzhong's hand and said, "I won't take it for nothing. I'll exchange it with you."
Rong Zhouzhong looked at the simple military green clip in his hand and laughed at his stinginess. He stretched out his hand and rubbed his head. Shi
Jin leaned back to avoid it, and then counterattacked.
After another commotion, Rong Zhouzhong ruffled his hair, looked at Shi Jin who was finally willing to eat obediently, and asked, "Are you in a better mood?"
Shi Jin tore off both chicken legs of the roast chicken and gave them to him, silently thanking him for his companionship.
"Now you should learn to be generous, huh." Rong Zhouzhong deliberately snorted, looked at the chicken leg in his bowl with satisfaction, took out his mobile phone and took two photos, then picked up the chopsticks and gave a chicken leg back to Shi Jin.
Shi Jin looked at the chicken leg, opened his mouth and took a big bite, chewing hard.
"Do you want to drink?" Rong Zhouzhong asked.
Shi Jin shook his head, slowly swallowed the chicken, and suddenly asked, "Third brother, is the second brother really a coward?"
"Really." Rong Zhouzhong also took a bite of the chicken leg, squinting his beautiful peach blossom eyes, and said vaguely, "When I am free, I sometimes wonder why we brothers have become what we are now. Later I figured it out. We are actually like our mothers. Xu Jie is thoughtful and sentimental, so my eldest brother is also thoughtful and sentimental. My mother is powerful and merciless, so I became The fourth child’s mother is calm, reserved and strong-willed. Thank God, the fourth child is very much like her. The fifth child’s mother puts love first and her mental age is forever stuck in teenage years. As a result, the fifth child has never grown up. And the second brother... you should really go meet his mother. It’s rare to find a woman who soberly hates herself like that in this world."
Shi Jin poked the white rice in the bowl and said nothing.
"Second brother is like his mother, living soberly. But they are a little different. Second brother's mother chose to be sober after everything she went through. But second brother is not like that. He doesn't know what it's like to be unconscious." Rong Zhouzhong poured a glass of juice for Shi Jin, and for the first time showed the mature and stable side of an elder brother. "Xiao Jin, second brother may never be able to empathize with the pain you have experienced in the past, or feel heavy about it, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel guilty or remorseful. He just won't. He has drawn a clear line between himself and everyone else, hurting others and trapping himself. Now he is trying to cross the line to understand your thoughts. He loves you, Xiao Jin."
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
