"At that time, I wished the sun would shine every day, so the weather would be warm. That's why I later studied the extraordinary profession related to fire."
After finishing speaking, Niya held the cup in her hand and took a small sip of salt milk tea. The warm and salty taste flowed into her throat, and a comfortable feeling fell into her stomach.
"But now I'm growing up and I know and understand many things."
"Even if it's sunny all the time in winter, it can still be very cold at night. Even if it's spring all year round, there's still not enough food on the grasslands, and people and animals will still starve to death."
"And I can't change anything." She put down the cup and looked at the quietly burning fire.
"Everyone's life is not going well. They're fighting over the grass and pasture all day long."
"When I was at school, I talked with other orc classmates. Everyone's situation was similar. Sometimes I envied the humans, especially those who lived on the southern islands. The climate was warm and there was plenty of food."
"Niya, do you want to change the current situation?" Loran Hill put down the book and looked at the usually taciturn girl in front of him.
"I have thought about it, but I'm not smart and I can't come up with any particularly good ideas." Niya crossed her arms on the table next to the fire, then rested her chin on her arms and looked at the old patterns on the table.
"After entering school, I've become more and more aware of my own mediocrity. I'm not as confident as Alena, nor do I have the wealthy family background of Letis, nor am I as capable as you, Roland."
"Maybe I'll just finish my studies in the third grade at most, then return to my tribe and live an ordinary life."
“Actually, sometimes I don’t want to be a small cog. I also want to be unique.”
“When I was little, I thought I had unlimited possibilities. But as my experience and knowledge grew, I realized that wasn’t the case. The choices I could make were limited. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t go beyond this framework.”
Having said that, Niya lay her head on the side, looking at the fire on the side of the table, then stretched out her left hand and watched the flames slowly dance and change shapes, some like puppies, some like piglets, and some like sunflowers.
"Even if I become very powerful, because there are not many people in the clan, after a hundred years, it will probably shrink back to its past state. Maybe some disasters will be brought about by my existence." The firelight was reflected in her pupils, and the light in them was a little confused.
"One day, we will say goodbye to our childhood fairy tales."
"One day, we will meet our own dreams." Loran Hill put down the book, stood up, and looked at Nia.
"Niya, do you really want to change the status quo? Are you aware of this?"
"The process will be painful. Many people will not understand you and will curse you. There will even be bloodshed and conflict, and many people will die."
"Are you going to do it even though this is the case?"
Niya looked at Luo Lan who was serious, and suddenly felt a little confused.
Do I really want to do this? Or is it just for self-satisfaction and to be praised by those around me? Chaotic thoughts began to echo in my mind again.
If I were to take over the management of the tribe in the future, where would I direct it? Would I be confident enough to do it well, or would it be better to hand over the reins to someone more talented?
Nia was in a mess and swaying state. She looked at the crimson flame, her mind slowly immersed in it, and finally she slowly fell asleep on the table.
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