It's time to go to the other side.
"Actually, it doesn't matter anymore, really."
"Xu Yi, are you leaving?"
How did you figure that out?
"I have a natural affinity for these things."
"I don't know, I can't be sure, I just have a feeling that maybe the day of leaving is approaching."
"Then who will I follow in the future? Who will I listen to?"
"Well... I don't know for now, but I'll leave once all these things are settled."
"Alright then," the shadow muttered, then shrank back into the corner.
I yelled at her, "Why do you like to stay in the corner?"
"I don't know either, it's probably instinct." After saying that, the shadow disappeared into the shadows.
I fell asleep in the rocking chair without realizing it. In my dream, I was still in Xiangze's arms. It seemed like we had both grown up. He took me to stand on the hillside and pointed to the wildflowers on the opposite side, saying, "Xiaoyi, look how beautiful those flowers are."
I nodded: "It is very beautiful."
In my dream, he took me to many places, all of which he had seen before. He showed them to me, explaining the scenery and their history as he went.
I cried again when I woke up, thinking to myself: Aizawa is such a wonderful older brother.
After sitting for a while, I heard Wu Qing and Bao He return. They seemed to be discussing something.
I wonder if the usual supervisors also experience this, drifting between dreams and wakefulness...
When they entered the courtyard and saw me, Baohe rushed over, jumped onto my stomach, and hugged me: "Xu Yi, you're back!"
"Yes, I was invited to a banquet at the Prime Minister's residence, which is why I didn't come back."
“Perfect timing,” Wu Qing interjected, then sat down beside me and unfolded the blueprints of the Imperial Observatory: “Miss Xu, where do you think the library and the sword-concealing pavilion should be built?”
I looked at the land of the Imperial Observatory, and no matter where I set aside another piece of land, it seemed extremely small.
I frowned: "Why don't we just move everything? We can build the library in the very center of the Imperial Observatory, surrounded by circular buildings, arranging the three courtyards in a straight line, and then placing the other rooms in each courtyard in turn?"
“Sure!” Wu Qing nodded. “That way, the Imperial Observatory’s land will be used more efficiently. What about the Hidden Knife Pavilion?”
"The bone knife is, after all, a weapon of violence, and its resentment is too strong. Let's build it in the main courtyard. I will use the golden seal of the Director of the Imperial Observatory to suppress it until the Imperial Observatory welcomes its final Director."
“Alright,” Wu Qing nodded, “Then I’ll find someone from the Ministry of Works tomorrow to start working on it. I’m going to rest now, Miss Xu.”
"Okay, go ahead."
Baohe nuzzled against my neck, yawned, and said, "I'm going to sleep too, Xu Yi."
“Okay,” I nodded, watching Wu Qing bow and take his leave, and watching Bao He return to the well and light the lantern I had given him.
It was still like the afternoon, seemingly quiet, yet also quite unsettling.
It was getting late, and Muli probably wouldn't be coming today. I stretched and went back to my room to sleep. As I lay in bed, I suddenly wondered if I was overthinking things...
Attachment to existence, attachment to non-existence... are all forms of attachment...
Maybe so, maybe I should take another step forward, maybe... maybe I really should make a move...
I slept soundly through the night.
The next day, it was widely rumored in the palace that the tenth prince had regained the emperor's favor, after all, the royal family had not produced a member who passed the imperial examination on his own merit for many years.
Just as the prime minister had planned, Ah Shi finally took the first step in the struggle for imperial power.
I went to the bottom of the pool alone again and, following the guidance of the little loach, found the dragon again. There were more rotten parts on its body, but fortunately, the surrounding area had begun to show signs of stopping its decay, which calmed my mind a lot.
What happens next is up to the Prime Minister and Ah Shi to figure out, since I've never seriously walked the path of imperial power.
As the prime minister had requested, I never went to the prime minister's residence again.
Days flew by, and on the day the Ministry of Works officially began construction on the Imperial Observatory, I, on behalf of the Director, led everyone in offering incense to Heaven and Earth before symbolically breaking ground with a shovel of earth.
In the days that followed, I intentionally had Baohe and Wuqing supervise the work more and participate more, only offering suggestions when they were unsure of what to do.
On the day the foundation of the library was completed, the Prime Minister's residence sent someone to deliver 70,000 taels of silver. I held stacks of silver notes and listened to the messenger explain: "Adding the 5,000 taels given by the Imperial Concubine, the master has made a round number. Please don't worry, Miss, this is only a small part of the Prime Minister's funds. The remaining silver is enough for the Prime Minister's residence to operate."
I sighed and was about to pick up my pen to write a letter when I heard the servant continue, "Master said that Miss can have me convey any message she wants, but there's no need to write a letter, so as not to cause gossip or give others a handle to use against her."
I put down the pen I had just picked up, and after thinking for a long time, I couldn't think of any good words. I could only say to the servant, "Tell your master to take good care of himself."
The servant replied, "Yes, and I hope that Miss will take good care of herself."
After the servants left, I couldn't hold back my tears any longer and burst into tears.
Fortunately, there was no one else in the entire main courtyard. Only my shadow silently witnessed the tears that came out of my last remaining humanity in the corner.
I could hear the sounds of tools being polished and workers talking as the Ministry of Works built the facility, but it felt like I was in another world.
I increasingly feel that I don't belong in this world and that I should go to another side.
When Baohe and Wuqing returned, I gave them a wooden box containing 100,000 taels of silver notes: "This box contains 100,000 taels of silver given by the Crown Prince, the Imperial Concubine, and the Prime Minister. If you need to use this money in the future, this box will be opened. You should put this box in the Supervisor's room and seal it up together."
Bao He was somewhat shocked: "One hundred thousand taels? That much? Xu Yi, are you going to seal it all up? Aren't you going to keep any for yourself?"
I patted Baohe's head and shook my head, saying, "No need, Baohe. In my current state, most of the problems I need to solve cannot be solved with silver. Let's seal them all away and save them for later."
Wu Qing nodded, and together with Bao He, they sealed the wooden box in the supervisor's room.
Perhaps it is because I have ended my attachment to the mortal world, whether actively or passively, that I have entered a state of stagnation.
I stopped eating, drinking, and asking about other things, and only heard some news about the mortal world from Wu Qing and Bao He every day.
They said that the emperor entrusted Ah Shi with important responsibilities, sending him to inspect and provide disaster relief, which he accomplished exceptionally well.
The flesh on his body loosened again, and began to melt away little by little, starting from his fingertips.
The flesh melted away, turning the white bones into a golden glow.
My humanity gradually faded, and I stopped reacting to the world.
At first, Muli would bring me all sorts of delicious food and tell me all sorts of interesting stories about people and events, but I was completely unmoved, like a stagnant pool of water, never stirred by any further ripples.
Whenever this happened, I would look at Muli and advise her, "Muli, my flesh and blood are starting to dissolve. This whole process looks too terrifying. You should never come to the Imperial Observatory again."
Muli went from initially refusing to becoming increasingly silent...
Finally, he asked me, "Xu Yi, is this all we can do?"
"Yes, it's possible that this is the best we can do."
From that day on, I never allowed Muli to set foot in the Imperial Observatory again.
When Ah Shi returned to the capital after completing another imperial mission, he came to see me with a smile: "Auntie, I'm back! I've completed another imperial mission, and everyone praised me for doing a good job. Auntie, our plan is progressing steadily step by step."
“Okay,” I nodded, “That’s great.”
His expectant expression faltered when he heard me utter three words, then he looked disappointed: "Auntie...aren't you going to praise me?"
"You're great."
After a long silence, A-Shi looked at me, as if mocking himself, and said, "Auntie, I feel like we're not close anymore, like we've gone back to the way we were when I first met you."
I asked him earnestly, "When you first met me, what was it like?"
"Heartless, desireless, expectant, and lifeless."
I nodded: "Yes, you've summarized it very well."
"Is that all, Auntie?"
I shook my head at him, took off my gloves, and showed him my hands, which had turned back into bones: "Ah Shi, thank you for being willing to follow my plan and walk this arduous path, but I have no material meaning to this world anymore. You should not come here again. The Imperial Observatory must be an isolated institution."
His eyes reddened, he swallowed hard, and forced an awkward smile: "Auntie, is this a farewell?"
“Thirty years haven’t passed yet, I won’t leave. I’m still at the Imperial Observatory, still your aunt…”
He finished my sentence: "But...that's all, isn't it?"
"Yes." I nodded.
“Okay,” after a long silence, he seemed to have found a reason to convince himself: “My aunt wants to live in seclusion, of course I’m willing… willing to cooperate with my aunt…”
Thank you.
Ah Shi eventually left.
In the evening, I wandered into the imperial study and shook the emperor, who was still dozing off.
He looked at the doorway with some disbelief, then looked around at us, before calling out to me, "Xu Yi, how did you get in?"
I got straight to the point: "The current crown prince is the third prince who died young, and the dynasty's lifeline has begun to rot little by little because of this. Therefore, you can only pass the throne to A-Shi in the future."
"What are you talking about? Ah Shi isn't... he's not royalty..."
“I know, but if you insist on going your own way, the very lifeline of the dynasty will rot and die before the crown prince even ascends the throne. You can decide for yourself whether the Great Qing Dynasty should continue or perish.”
After I finished speaking, I tried to leave, but the emperor stopped me: "Xu Yi, are you exaggerating? Are you trying to scare me?"
I turned to look at this high-ranking person who had been scheming his whole life: "I'm only saying this once. You don't have to believe me. There will always be other ways to make you realize this inevitable ending. You can try to delay it a bit more."
The next day, I heard from Wu Qing and Bao He that the emperor had sent A Shi to Jiangnan, ostensibly for inspection, but he seemed to have no intention of letting A Shi return.
I didn't pay much attention to it; some people won't believe until they hit a brick wall.
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